Disclaimer: These are Stephenie Meyer's awesome characters and I take absolutely no credit for them :)
A crinkled piece of paper lay on the floor; discarded by an act of salvation, an omission of self worth. Two words peaked through the now waste, a glimmer of ceasing hope. my guardian. Parted by mere ink, these words were woven together, destined to become one. A resurrected confession – yearning to be guarded yet already released.
A heavily laden foot brushes the paper, memories seeping into the air. A delicate hand picks it up, straightening out the creases to be read yet again. Time however does not make exceptions and the hand that caresses the page resumes its familiar vibration. Teardrops drown the declaration of languishing, perishing love. A whimper escapes from the tightly bound lips of the young girl, afraid of losing self control. Her strength gives way, and instantly she becomes her own worst fear. Shoulders heaving, she sinks into the depths of the ground beneath her, an offering of replacement.
My darling Bella,
I'm writing you this letter because I have to tell you something that you must know. I couldn't possibly tell you in person, because I am too much of a coward and I couldn't possibly live with seeing you in pain. So instead I am writing this letter to you to tell you the most regrettable mistake in my life, something which I don't expect you to forgive me for, but that you must be granted the right to know.
I don't love you anymore.
Time pushed on, and Bella remained where she was, reality found in the coldness she lay on. Darkness had crept up on her, and only when she couldn't see any light was she ready to get up, awoken from her affliction, remembering what once was. Her tearstained fingers flickered on the light overhead, casting an undistinguishable shadow behind her, vague and blurred. She pressed her hand to her hollow face, a remnant of seemingly wasted love. Faith, too it seems did not survive the turmoil, whisked away by the spirit of lost love; and the letter lay abandoned, but certainly not forgotten, once more.
I tried, I honestly did, but we both know that I couldn't fix you. Fix myself. Fix us. Looking back, maybe it wasn't too late, but the damage was done, and who was I to try to replace something that had clearly been left behind long ago? You can't force love. I know now that you still love me, and oh god I loved you too, but we both know that something so broken cannot ever be fixed, unless it is truly wanted by us both. In the meantime we cannot continue to see each other.
She read this second letter over; not needing to even hold it in her hands, for it was etched in her memory, involuntarily lending itself to her. She lost control once more, still remembering those painful weeks of loss, of lifelessness, of no love. She collapsed on her pillow, burying her tears in the comfort of her bed, her scent fostering her peace. A hand wrapped itself around her neck, its body snuggling into hers, and held her, crying too. She turned to face the mound of warmth, and pulled her close, offering comfort and receiving it too. "Don't cry, baby. Mummy's okay" The toddler cried even harder, distressed to see her mother upset, and Bella held her tighter, erasing Renesmee's fears, still battling her own. "Mummy, why are you crying?" her daughter sniffed.
"Mummy's just a bit upset, that's all darling"
"Do you want me to go get daddy?" Renesmee asked.
"Thanks darling, but mummy just needs some alone time, okay?" Bella replied.
The little girl looked at her mother with saddened eyes and wrapped her arms around her neck, an invitation for unconditional love. "I love you mummy" she said as she let go and toddled out of the room.
Bella walked over to her dresser, withdrawing yet another letter. This one, much thinner than the first, held the truth with more grace, and a little less brutality. Smooth and crisp was the letter, unlike the other, enlacing in it monograms of hope. Given after the second and after much consideration, it was this letter which Bella cherished; her saving grace.
The door creaked open and shut, and a strong pair of arms wrapped themselves around her from behind. She relaxed in them, realising she could still breathe, a beautifully simple revelation, one which brought her back down to earth. "A little somebody told me you were upset" her husband said.
"I thought I told him I wanted to be left alone," a giggle escaped from Emmy's mouth.
"But you didn't mean it did you?" Edward gently whispered, feeling Bella's pain. Glancing at the piece of paper Bella was clutching in her hand it dawned upon him why she was so upset.
Bella, my darling I am so sorry for the pain I have caused you. We have wasted so much precious time being apart. Do you realise it has now been 3 years since we first met? 3 years of my life which I will never be able to forget, nor ever be able to replace. They were the best 3 years of my life, and I want to thank you for sharing them so willingly with me. The memories I have from those 3 years alone, are enough to sustain my happiness for the rest of my life, and it is you my darling who has made me eternally happy. You are my guardian, my angel, and it is you who I will always love.
She turned around and sobbed into his cold neck, and Edward held onto her, a guardian himself, protecting her from their past, from his mistakes which had molded himself and Bella in to who they now are. Bella let go of her fears, safe in the arms of the man she almost lost, the man she loved, and found herself exactly where she wanted to be. It was an embrace of salvation, of redemption, of everlasting love.