Notes: I didn't like the way Death Note (the anime) ended. So I came up with this. I don't claim that it's an improvement, but it makes me feel better, at least.

Summary: Light is dead. Sayu and Misa are not. Ryuk is bored...

Life After Death

A Death Note One-shot by

Nate Grey (xman0123-at-aol-dot-com)

For Yagami Sayu, the day her life began to end was the day she first heard those four words.

"Your son is dead."

The detective had been talking about Light, of course, and speaking to Sayu's mother, but those were the first words that Sayu could recall since her father (who was now her late father) had brought her home.

The very idea that Light could be dead was just so... wrong that Sayu instinctively refused to believe it. Her brother was too clever, too cautious to ever die. Sayu had actually climbed out of her wheelchair and walked to the front door, just to disagree. But her legs were still heavy with disuse, and the detective was long gone by the time she got there. There was only her mother, with a doubly shocked look on her face.

But in the end, it was Sayu that was wrong. Light was indeed dead. She had identified the body with her mother, ignoring every protest that she didn't need to see him. But of course she'd had to. It was the only way she'd ever believe it.

He'd looked calm and cool like always, even with blood soaked into his clothes and his hair slightly mussed. Sayu had smoothed his hair into place as best she could while her mother wept behind her. He'd want to be neat, she knew, even then. And it was all she could do for him.

When her mother had been unable to stand his presence (or lack thereof) any long, Sayu had bent down to kiss him, and changed her mind halfway there. "Bye, big brother," she'd whispered into his ear instead. She thought about saying she'd miss him, that she loved him, that she'd never forget him. But this was Light. He would know that already.

A month later, Sayu found the notebook on her bed. After she'd learned what it was, and what it could do, her first horrified thought was that her mother might've come across it, and either used it, or worse, thrown it out where anyone could pick it up.

And then the shinigami came through the wall, told her he wasn't quite that careless, and stole the apple she'd been planning to eat for an afternoon snack.

At any other point in her life, Sayu might have thought she was insane. But after losing both her father and brother under mysterious circumstances, to say the least, she was ready to believe in just about anything. And for a mind and heart that had been searching endlessly for any way to explain why the two most important men in her life were dead, Ryuk the shinigami made a lot of sense.

For one thing, his story was just too fantastic not to be true. And within five minutes of meeting him, Sayu was convinced that Ryuk simply didn't have the imagination or the inclination to lie so convincingly: it would've been too much work, and once she'd filled him with apples, he was feeling far too sluggish to do anything more than talk.

Ryuk's story, simplified, was that both Light and Amane Misa had obtained Death Notes, and that both, at one point or another, had been Kira(s). This was a huge revelation for Sayu: the police had only ever said that Light had resisted arrest, violently. Sayu had seen Light angry plenty of times, but she had never seen him do anything violently, and it just hadn't sounded like the older brother she admired and loved.

Yet Light and Misa being Kira explained a lot of things, and Sayu was impressed that they'd hidden in plain sight for such a long time. Not once did she ever question why they'd become Kira, because it was obvious in her mind. For Misa to have been involved, Light would have to have a righteous reason, because even if Misa was a little flaky at times, she was genuinely a sweet and loving person. Light himself had never been in any real trouble, so it was clear why he had kept and used the Death Note.

If Sayu had been a different sort of person, she might have left well enough alone, buried the Death Note where no one would ever find it during her lifetime, and lived out the rest of her days as an average, boring person.

But two things prevented her. The first was the knowledge that Ryuk would probably recover the Death Note and just give it to someone else, starting the whole cycle of darkness and death all over again. The second was Misa.

Misa, who had cried with her when Light's death was made public. Misa, who had given her and her mother a huge chunk of her own royalties, and would continue to do so for the foreseeable future. Misa, who had secretly changed her family name to Yagami, as a way to feel closer to them and to Light. Misa, who showed up randomly bearing chocolates from far-off places and expensive dresses that Sayu would never have any use for. Misa, whose hugs were both suffocating and nurturing, as she never knew when to let go, but sometimes, sometimes, that was just what a desperate person in pain needed.

It was entirely possible that Misa would live a long, empty life without Light, never to be bothered again by anyone. And while she did not deserve the pain that would come with the restored memories from a Death Note, Sayu knew she deserved the happy memories of her time with Light, Rem, and even L. She didn't stop to consider the decision for very long: after all Misa had done for her family, how could Sayu do anything less?

Misa reacted exactly the way Sayu had expected, at first. She cried for several hours, and Sayu stayed with her, stroking her hair, rubbing her back, doing anything she could think of to comfort her.

And then, Misa had raised her tearstained face to Sayu's, and kissed her, tenderly, almost passionately, on the lips.

It was Sayu's first and last kiss.

Misa vanished with the Death Note for almost three years after that. When she finally did resurface, everyone who had anything to do with Light's death was dead or well on their way to being so. Sayu had known she would do that, had even asked to help. But Misa refused, saying she didn't want Sayu's hands stained with blood.

The next time that Misa vanished, however, she didn't come back.

The police searched for months with no results.

Sayu didn't bother to get her hopes up. She knew in her heart that Misa was dead. It hurt, to be sure, but not nearly as much as she'd feared since Light's death. Wherever Misa was, she was with Light, and therefore happy. And even if Light had never loved Misa, surely he would be glad for the company.

After Misa's suicide (Sayu had it on good authority that Misa would've lived a long, long time otherwise), Sayu was at a bit of a loss. She had money, thanks to Misa's will. She had the Death Note, thanks to Ryuk. She even had Ryuk, although that was a mixed blessing. Sayu had no intention of actually using the Death Note, not when Misa had done everything in her power to convince her it was a bad idea. Anyway, there had been enough death in her life, and there was no one left that she hated enough to want dead.

Ryuk refused to leave her, however. Well, it wasn't so much a refusal as it was fear of boredom. She was interesting, he said, although Sayu couldn't see how. Sometimes she wondered if he stayed out of some long-delayed loyalty to Light. It made a twisted kind of sense: Ryuk did nothing but tempt Light with power, and then he let her brother die. Sayu had to think of it that way. A shinigami was just that, and they didn't kill people, or they weren't supposed to: they only did their jobs. In a way, she was glad Ryuk had been with Light at the end. He was not quite a friend, barely even an ally, but apples never went bad with him around, and he was good for unique conversation occasionally.

Sayu had her doubts about him, though. On some level, she knew that he wanted her to use the Death Note. Misa had entrusted it to her, he claimed, and even if that were true, Misa would've wanted her to hide the notebook, not use it. But even if Sayu had nothing to live for, she certainly had nothing to kill for. There was no temptation to use the Death Note, and no reason, not for her. But every time she told Ryuk that, he would only chuckle, darkly, and grin at her.

Did she want to be with Light and Misa, go where they had gone? Sometimes, yes, but never enough to use the Death Note. She had a feeling that if she did so, Light would be disappointed, and Misa would be sad. The thought of having both of them look at her that way was incredibly sobering. But still she wondered: were they happy?

There was really only one way she'd ever know for sure.

The End.

Endnotes:

I can safely say this is the only time I'll ever touch the Death Note fandom. I liked the characters at the start, but by the end I'd lost most of them in the plot and my attention was starting to lag. I suppose I was most disappointed that Sayu and Misa were basically written out of the action, when I thought they had much more potential. It'd be one thing if they'd been killed before Light, but they weren't. So for either one to end up the way they finally did just seems like a huge waste. And that's all I'll say on the subject.