Tess Tyler taps her foot impatiently as the red VW Polo pulls into her driveway. She opens her mouth to yell goodbye, out of habit, and scolds herself, again out of habit, for letting herself forget that she was the only one home. Her mother had taken off to Italy or Spain or somewhere exotic for the summer, leaving her at home by herself, besides the hired helps who barely acknowledge her existence. Now she is eighteen, she can be trusted alone, apparently. No nannies. No babysitters. She is an adult. She didn't want to be an adult. What would happen to her innocence? Her naivety? She didn't want to deal with the responsibilities of adulthood. She still felt like a kid. How the hell is she supposed to handle this?
Tess rolls her eyes as she hears an impetuous beep from the car, and picks up her bag, slinging the thick strap over her shoulder as she swings the door of her house shut behind her.
"Hey Nate. Where to today?" She grins as she gets in the passengers side.
"I was thinking the beach?" Nate glances at her with uncertainty. She mentally smacks her forehead. He's the one driving. He's the one who decides where they go. Why even bother asking her?
"Sure." She shrugs, flipping open a compact and checking her reflection.
She catches Nate staring at her with a bemused expression. "What?" She snaps.
"Why do you always do that?"
"Do what?"
"Constantly check yourself in the mirror. You look fine, Tess."
"I know." She shrugs. He rolls his eyes and puts the car into gear, backing out of the driveway. Tess stares out the window as the houses in her neighbourhood go rushing by. She didn't know why she was so snarky with Nate today. He was usually the closest thing she had to a friend.
They struck up a sort of acquaintanceship when Tess had dated Nate's friend Shane Gray. It was expected by the press of course. Socialite daughter of a Grammy winner hooks up with the hottest popstar of the year after he breaks up with the new artist he brought out of obscurity, just from one song at a popular summer camp. They painted on their smiles for the cameras, and Tess played the role of supportive girlfriend backstage at shows and CD signings. But she could tell that Shane just wasn't as committed to the relationship as she was. He shrugged her off when she was mentioned in interviews. He flaked out on their anniversary dinner to go to a Ben Folds concert. And not once when they were dating did Shane write a single love song.
Then came the fateful day when Tess discovered she was no longer required by her so-called perfect boyfriend. She waited all night for him to show up on her doorstep, with a bunch of flowers, like she told him, ready to take her out on a romantic date to a paparazzi hotspot. That way, all the media attention shining on their apparent relationship breakdown, somehow revolving around Shane's rumoured rekindled romance with his ex, would go away, because then everyone would be able to see how in love Tess and Shane really were.
She waited for two hours. Two hours, 45 ignored phone calls, three chipped nails and temper tantrum, and he still didn't show up.
The phone call started it. Electronic chords screeched out of her cell phone as she glared at it on the coffee table.
"Hello?" She hissed into the mouthpiece. She knew who it was.
"Tess? Tess, I am so sorry, but I…"
"Save it, Gray. I'm on my last nerve. You had better have a damn good excuse for standing me up!"
"No, Tess, I don't. I'm sorry, but this just isn't working out for me."
She froze. "What did you say?" She said deliberately, slowly, dangerously.
"Look, Tess, I just want you to know that I think you're an amazing girl, but I need time to think about what I really want in life…"
"So, it's not me, it's you?" Tess laughed harshly. She didn't believe that for a second. Being the daughter of a famous singer may not be all it's cracked up to be, but there were some positive sides. One of them was being able to tell when people were lying through their teeth, a talent she has increasingly sharpened over the years. She knows when people are being sincere, and when they're being big, fat frauds.
"Exactly!" Shane cried in relief.
"Cut the crap, Shane. Tell me what's really going on."
"There's nothing…"
"TELL ME!" Tess shrieked.
She could hear him sigh on the other end of the line. "Babe, you don't want to know."
"Try me. There's someone else, isn't there?"
"I don't want it to end like this, Tess."
"How on earth do you want it to end like, Shane? With me skipping through a field of daisies, singing praises because you cheated on me?"
"Obviously not. You're not the kind of person that skips." She could see a vision of his smirking face in front of her eyes, and she had an overwhelming urge to smack it.
"Just tell me, Shane. Please?" Tess sighed in a quiet voice. She was done playing the bitchy girl getting dumped. She just wanted this conversation to be over and done with.
"Fine, I slept with Mitchie, okay?" Shane blurted out.
Tess took a deep breath. "Oh." She breathed out, her voice shuddering.
"It was an accident, we were just recording her new album, and we got started talking about old times, and it just sort of happened…"
"You love her, don't you?" Tess whispered shakily, realising that he had never told her that he loved her, even though she told him every day for the last two months.
"What? No! I mean, I might, maybe…"
"Okay, Shane. You get your wish. We're finished. So you can go run off to your little whore now." Tess spat, snapping her phone shut, and placing it lightly on top of the table, precisely where it rested five minutes earlier, before her life had fallen to pieces in front of her very eyes.
The floodgates opened. Tess stormed up to her room, shrieking at the maid, and tearing off her dress that she spent forty-five minutes picking out, just so she would look amazing for Shane. She looked at her teary, blonde reflection in the giant mirror that hung on the wall of her bedroom. If only the tabloids could see her now. Screaming, she kicked off her glittery, strapless heels and threw them at the silver glass, fracturing the image in front of her. Thin lines crept across the glass, like a spider web, fragmenting her reflection. Instead of a whole person, all she could see was a skinny, pale arm, disjoined from a slender neck, then a pink mouth, flushed cheeks, eyes rimmed with mascara stains.
Just like the mirror, Tess Tyler had cracked.
She discovered that Nate Brown had cracked, just like her, at some stupid Hollywood party that her mother had dragged her along to a few months later, trying to make herself out to be the caring matriarchal unit Tess wished she would be. Shane and Nate's band, Connect Three, were guest performers there. Unfortunately, TJ Tyler had conveniently forgotten to mention that to her daughter. The minute she saw them enter the room, she wanted to sprint away into a corner and curl up into a little ball until the party was over. Instead, she legged it to the ladies room as fast as she could, and locked herself in a stall. I will not cry, I will not cry, she repeated to herself softly. God, the media would have a field day if someone saw her crying. Besides, she didn't want to it to be obvious she wasn't completely over Shane. In fact, she was still maybe, possibly, definitely still loved him.
So she took a deep breath, straightened out her red dress, and glided out of the stall, determined to be a picture of serenity. And she managed it to keep it together, mostly, faking smiles and avoiding anything that reminded her of Shane Gray. But what she couldn't handle was at the end of the night, after Connect Three had done several encores, and were being congratulated by people in the crowd. Mitchie rushed out from behind the stage and threw herself at Shane, kissing him full on the mouth.
Tess's jaw dropped as a collective 'aaaw' was heard around the audience. She looked around desperately for an exit, an escape, anything her to get away from this horrible situation. She was sure Shane knew she was here, but was at least aware of her disdain for him, and hadn't made any attempt to make contact with her. But this was on a whole other level altogether. Did he have completely no regard for her feelings? Flaunting his relationship with that little hussy right in front of her? She felt like she was going to throw up.
Catching sight of a fire door swinging open and shut on the outskirts of the room, she dashed over and burst out into the alleyway alongside the venue.
She took a few deep breaths as she willed herself not to faint or vomit. Sighing as the spots that danced in front of her eyes began to fade, she turned to go back indoors. That's when she caught sight of a curly haired boy in a suit arguing into a cell phone.
"You seriously had to tell me this now? It couldn't wait until at least tomorrow?" The boy cried in exasperation.
Tess heard the buzz of a reply coming from the phone. "But what did I do wrong? I can try harder!" He sounded desperate now.
Another buzz, and Tess winced at the obvious severe tone the girl on the other line was using. "Please, Caity! Don't do this! I love you!"
One harsh buzz, then the deadening sound of a dial tone. The boy was silent, and Tess jumped at an odd sound that echoed around the alley. It sounded like an animal dying. Then she realised it was coming from the boy who stood, shoulders shaking, ten feet in front of her.
Tess didn't know what to do. Should she go back inside and pretend like she never heard that awful conversation? Or should she try and comfort this poor guy who just got heart ripped into a million shreds? She sighed, and took two steps towards him, her heels clicking in the foreboding silence. The boy spun around defensively, a scowl distorting his usually attractive features. Tess froze when she realised who it was.
"Nate?"
"Tess?" His voice cracked over her one syllable as he took three steps towards her and collapsed in her arms, sobs racking his body. "She doesn't love me, Tess. She doesn't love me."
"Shh, Nate, I'm sorry. It's okay. It's all going to be okay." Tess tried to comfort him as sincerely as she could. She knew he knew she was lying.
They spent the rest of the evening sitting in the alley, exchanging sob stories about how screwed up their lives were. How everything just seemed less meaningful without the person they were in love with by their side. They were discovered well past midnight by one of TJ's anxious bodyguards, the other member of Connect Three; an uncomfortable looking Jason Green, and a livid Shane. Apparently he wasn't thrilled about his best friend getting so close to his ex-girlfriend.
Tess didn't want to care. She wanted to be past caring what Shane Gray thought. Still, it was nice to have someone to lean on, if only it was for a little while.
But Nate and Tess had struck up an unlikely friendship. She was his rock. He was hers. They were the only ones who knew what it felt like to be each other. And so for the next six months, whenever either of them had a problem concerning the certain someone who owned their hearts, they knew exactly who to call.
They lived in close proximity to each other, and often spent their time together just chilling out, doing time-filling but ultimately inconsequential tasks, just to keep their minds off their miserable existences. Things always seemed a bit less miserable if they had someone to share their misery with.
They both had all the time in the world to spend together. Tess wasn't sure if she wanted to go to college right away. Nate was busy working on his budding music producing career. Ever since Connect Three went their separate ways because of creative differences (Shane wanted to form a band with Mitchie, Jason wanted to relocate into the movie score composing industry), Nate had become more and more focused on his music. Everything had to be perfect, or he'd consider himself a failure. Maybe if his music was perfect, then Caitlyn Gellar would realise that he was perfect. That was his twisted logic. Yet Nate yearned for the day when he could think that any girl would be more perfect than Caitlyn. Maybe then his life wouldn't be such a mess.
So that's how Tess Tyler and Nate Brown came to be, well, not friends. They feel that are more than just that stupid word 'friends'. That word means nothing. Friends can break your heart. Neither of them would dare hurt the other. They are as close to each other as they could be, without being romantically involved. They just couldn't be, not with the cloud of pain and rejection that hangs over their heads. They would both know who the other would really think about.
Some days they would go to the beach. Other days, the mall. But if something tips them over the edge, if something they see or hear or smell reminds them of the person they'd loved and lost, then they would stay at home until the other manages to convince them to crawl out from under their bed sheets and get back into the world. They know they are stronger than this. They just don't know if they want to be. Sometimes it is just easier to be weak.
Nate licks at his ice-cream cone thoughtfully as Tess fluffs her hair, stretched out on her towel, letting the sun evaporate the sea water off her body, leaving the uncomfortable, itching feeling of the salt left behind sticking to her skin. She raises a perfectly shaped eyebrow as Nate's cell phone starts to ring, and tenses up when she hears him answer it after looking at the caller ID.
"Caitlyn?"
Her eyes narrow and she props herself up on her elbows. What did that little heartbreaking bitch want with him now?
"Um, sure!" He squeaks. He slides an uneasy glance at Tess. "Actually, I'm a little busy now…"
Tess shakes her head animatedly. "Oh, wait, no I'm not!" Nate backtracks. "So, I'll see you in about an hour then? Cool. Bye!"
"She… wants to see me." Nate stares at his phone is amazement. Then he lets out a great whoop. "She misses me!"
Tess grimaces, but convincingly disguises it as a small smile. She doesn't want to bring him down, not when he's happier then he's been in a long time.
"Sorry to bail on you like this, but, oh my gosh, this is so great!" He grins. "Do you want me to take you home, or…"
"No, don't be silly!" Tess shrugs. "I'll get a cab."
"You sure?"
"Positive. What are you waiting for, Nathaniel? Go get your woman!" She returns his enthusiastic grin, but without the earnestness.
Nate just laughs as he kisses her on top of her head, before sprinting up to his car. Tess groans as she collects her belongings. Perfect. Now she was stuck being the lonely moping, weak one all by herself, with no one to turn to who feels the same way. Just freaking spectacular.
Tess irritatingly picks at her fingernails while staring mindlessly at the television. Some brainless reality show is on. She scoffs at the ridiculous antics of the tiny people on the screen, but doesn't flick it off. It's been a long time since she's had no company on a Friday night. Usually Nate would be with her, and they'd be stuffing their face with ice-cream, watching some comedic movie, trying to forget about the people that they wish they were watching the movie with.
But not tonight. Nate was out with Caitlyn. Again. This had been going on for about a month now. Nate would make plans with Tess, but something would come up with Caitlyn, and he would go and be with her instead. Tess couldn't help but feel miffed. It was if Nate just used her as a sort of rebound relationship. Except Nate and Tess hadn't dared to do anything intimate.
She huffs as a fight breaks out on the TV, swearing as she picks her nails too far, and the hangnail on her index finger starts to bleed. She gets up and stomps into the kitchen, mumbling profanities as she gets out the first aid kit. But a sharp knock at the door startles her, causing her to drop the little plastic box.
She opens the door to a teary Nate. Gasping, Tess stands aside, letting him stride into her house. Shutting the door behind her, Tess matches his pace as she follows him through her house and out onto the patio. She tries calling after him, but he ignores her until they get all the way onto the vast lawn, glowing eerily in the mixture of light from the moon and the swimming pool.
"She did it again. I can't believe I was so stupid!" Nate groans, pacing backwards and forwards.
"Caitlyn?" Tess gasps, taking a step towards him.
"Yes, Caitlyn! I took in all her shit about how she needed me and being apart from me was harder than she thought, and then she goes and dumps me AGAIN!" He cries.
"Oh my god. Nate, I'm so sorry." Tess breathes.
"Don't give me that crap, Tess, I came here because I need you to tell me like it is. Tell me!"
"What do you want me to say?"
"Anything! Tell me I'm stupid for trusting her. That I got what I deserved. Anything that makes it stop hurting this much." He begs.
"I'm not going to say that. It's still going to hurt, Nate, trust me, no matter what I do."
"Don't say that! Please, if you won't give me the harsh truth, just lie. Lie through your teeth."
"I'm not going to lie to you! Nate, I don't understand! What do you want from me?"
"I just can't hurt like this! Dammit, Tess!" He screams, shoving her shoulders.
The wind leaves her lungs with a sharp thud as Tess stumbles and lands flat on her back. She doesn't know if she can't breathe because she's winded, or out of pure shock. No matter how angry he is, Nate has never once even tried to hurt her. Ever.
"Shit, Tess, I'm sorry!" Nate crouches down next to her.
"Why did you do that?" She screams back at him, clutching her chest painfully at the effort, sitting upright.
"I don't know! I was so angry!"
"You didn't have to push me! I'm not her!" She wheezes, tears forming in the corner of her eyes.
She tries to shake them away without him noticing. Tess hardly ever cries, but she has done more crying in front of Nate than she has ever done in her whole life. She wasn't about to show more weakness in front of him. He'd already seen her at her worst.
But Nate sees the tears as the ghostly light surrounding the pair glints off the tiny droplets. He swears under his breathe and pulls Tess into a tight hug.
"I know you're not her. You could never be her."
Tess looks up and meets his eyes, and inside them something snaps. Their faces are less than an inch apart. She feels a vacuum of cool air press against her skin as Nate inhales sharply. Her eyebrows furrow together as she tries to interpret his facial expression. He leans in, decreasing the space between their faces. Tess pulls back slightly.
"What are you doing?" She asks so quietly she's surprised he even hears her.
"I just don't want to hurt anymore." He replies at the same decibel, in such a voice that it makes her heart fracture into small pieces.
"I know. Me neither. " Tess whispers, making the rash decision to close the gap between their faces and captures Nate's lips in hers. He responds enthusiastically, clasping his hands around the back of her neck and holding her face upright as he lowers her back down onto the grass.
In the back of her mind, something is screaming at Tess to stop. To stop using the poor boy to get over Shane. To stop and get her hands the hell out from under his shirt. The same voice in Nate's head is telling the same thing, yet different. This voice is yelling that this is wrong. It's wrong to use her because he's upset about Caitlyn. It's wrong to be caressing the legs of the one girl who actually cares about his mental well-being in such a provocative manner.
A small whimper from the back of Tess's throat shuts both of the voices up. Who gives a flying fuck? They need this. They need to feel needed again.
It isn't how it was when they were with Caitlyn or Shane. Back then, they felt loved, wanted, appreciated. No, this isn't anything like that. This is desperate, feverish, this is necessary. They cling to each other for dear life, afraid that if they let go, then everything else that they have been holding onto; their sanity, their friendship, their self-worth; would disappear as well.
It wasn't awkward the next day, like both of them thought it would be. Tess awakes to a cool hand upon her face, the thumb stroking her cheekbone. She smiles at Nate's crinkly eyes as he stares down at her, biting his lip nervously.
"Hi." She sighs tiredly, raising her hand and gently placing it on the side of his neck.
"Hey." He whispers back.
"So, what now?" Tess is never one to beat around the bush. She is always straight and to the point. Some people see that as being rude and insensitive. But Nate has always depended on the brutally honest side of her. She doesn't feed him bull shit. She always tells the truth.
"I don't know." He replies honestly.
"I mean, we can't just ignore what happened."
"I know. Let's just take it one day at a time, 'kay?" Nate smiles, lifting up the hand still resting on his neck, kissing it softly.
The days turn into weeks. The weeks turn into months. Before they know it, Nate and Tess have gone from being friends, to friends with benefits, to being in an official relationship, to being fully-fledged lovers. Shane and Caitlyn went from dictating their daily routines, to being a thorn in their sides, to being an uncomfortable pang in the back of their minds. They get their life back.
"Tess? Wow, Tess, long time, no see!"
"Shane? What the heck are you doing here?" Tess gasps as her ex-boyfriend plops on the couch opposite her in the green room at the large recording studio.
"You know I'm with the same label as your mom, duh!" Shane grins vacuously at her, like he never even tore her life apart in the first place.
"Actually, I'm here with Nate." Tess shrugs, pretending not to notice when an envious grimace flashes across Shane's face.
"Oh, yeah, I heard about you guys. That's, um, great!" Shane mumbles.
"Glad you think so. Where's Mitchie?" Tess sneers.
"She, uh, um, well, we broke up. Again."
"You don't say. " She replies breezily.
Shane smiles again, but somehow wistfully this time. "I've missed you, Tess."
Tess nearly chokes on her own saliva. "Excuse me?"
Shane leans forward and lays a hand on her knee, like he used to. "I've missed you. You and your little sarcastic quips, and how you don't take any of my crap. I missed that with Mitchie. You were always stubbornly just you. But now you're with Nate? Seriously?"
"What's wrong with that?" Tess raises her eyebrows and speaks softly, hoping Shane doesn't catch the quiver in her voice.
"I just don't think Nate is the right kind of guy for you."
"Oh, really? And what kind of guy is right for me?" Tess tries to appear nonchalant, but she is certain Shane can hear her heart racing at a million miles per hour.
"I think you know." Shane smirks and leans further in. Tess looks up and meets his hungry gaze warily, uncertainly, and something that feels new to her. Frightened? No. Hesitant? Possibly.
Could she perhaps be feeling, unimaginably, contempt for Shane Gray?
Shane suddenly shoots back into his seat and resumes his previous indifferent slouch. Tess jumps, startled, but realises the reason for his sudden change a few moments later.
"Tess, I'm nearly done, so if you want to bring the car around… OH." Nate trails off as he sees the slouching figure sitting opposite his girlfriend.
"Nate, hey!" Shane jumped up to greet his old friend. "Dude, it's been too long. How's it going with the whole producing thing?"
"Um, great actually." Nate embraces Shane in a manly hug, looking over him at Tess nervously.
"I'm going to get the car, I'll be back in a minute. Bye Shane, good to see you." Tess gushes, avoiding eye contact with both boys and ducking out of the room as quickly as she can. But not before Nate grabs her arm lightly and pulls her around to face him, resting his forehead on hers.
"You okay?" He mutters softly.
Tess gulps and nods, kissing him on the chin. Relieved, but not satisfied, Nate releases her so she can leave.
"So, Tess, huh?" Shane sniggers at Nate as he turns back to face him.
"Yeah. She's great." Nate mumbles warily.
"I'm happy for you guys, really. I mean if you're okay with being a stepping stone, then I'm okay." Shane shrugs dismissively.
"Stepping stone?" Nate snaps.
"Well, yeah, Tess Tyler is always looking out for Tess Tyler. Everyone knows that. She'd do anything and use anyone to get what she wants."
Nate's stomach drops. "She's not the same Tess you used to know." He scowls.
"I dunno, she seemed pretty same-ish when I talked to her just then." Shane sighs. "She hadn't changed a bit."
Nate's eyebrows drew together in concern. "She actually talked to you?"
"Why wouldn't she?" Shane feigned ignorance, and Nate's face fell. How could Tess just forget what Shane had done to her, and go back to talking to him like her never broke her heart? The broken heart that he thought he had helped to put back together. His eyes darken as he realises he never healed Tess's heart. He was just the sticky tape holding it together until he was no longer needed. He shakes his head frustratingly.
"Never mind." Nate grumbles.
"Well, I guess I'll be seeing you round." Shane pats him on the back as he leaves though the door Tess disappeared through only minutes earlier.
Nate tries to smile at his old friend, but it appears more like a frown. He thought Tess had changed since her entire situation with Shane. She isn't the bitchy, humiliated girl who pitied him in the alley the night they got to know each other anymore. She is brittle, cautious, yet still as sarcastic as ever. But never in a million years would Nate have thought that she would even consider letting Shane Gray back into her life.
He didn't realise that Shane had more like forced himself back into her existence. It was if he knew that Tess was getting better without him, and couldn't stand it. As if he would rather her be miserable with him than cheerful with someone else. That is Tess's theory anyway. Shit. And she was almost happy again.
"Hey Nate?" Tess mumbles uncomfortably as she curls up to her boyfriend on the sofa in her room later that day.
"Yeah?"
"If Caitlyn wanted you back, would you go?"
He sits up abruptly, sliding her off his lap. "What?"
"If Caitlyn walked back into your life right now, and begged you to take her back, would you?"
"Tess, where is this coming from?"
She bites her lip and looks at her feet. "Oh, God. Shane. Of course it's about Shane." Nate moans in disbelief.
"Nate…"
"You still love him, don't you?"
"I don't know! I don't think so. But Nate, he misses me." Tess chokes.
"I can't believe this is happening!"
"What's happening?"
"You're going back to Shane." Nate shakes his head sadly.
"I'm not going back! I just… I don't know, I'm really confused right now!" Tess splutters.
"I really didn't see this coming, Tess, especially after all we've been through!"
"Nate, please just listen to me…"
"No, why should I? I thought we understood each other, Tess! At least, I thought I understood you. I'm not so sure now."
"I'm just trying to tell you how confused I am!" Tess's voice is shaking now.
"What's there to be confused about? You had me until Shane wanted you back. Now he does, you don't need me. It's simple, really."
"No, it's not simple at all! It's not as if you weren't just using me as Caitlyn's replacement, anyway!" Tess's eyes narrow, and she stands up.
"Don't be so hypocritical! After all I've done for you, this is how you repay me?" Nate yells, also standing, towering over Tess.
"Hell, this isn't about me at all, is it? It's about you! This relationship was not a one way street! I helped you just as much as you helped me!"
"Except I didn't help at all, did I? You still want the one person who doesn't want you!"
"But he does want me! You didn't hear him today!" Tess shrieks.
"I heard enough! Enough for me to have no doubt that you're going to run back to that douchebag that ruined you, like the shallow, petty bitch that you are! And good luck to you both. We're so over, I hope you're happy with him." Nate cuts off, breathing heavily, knowing that he has totally surpassed crossing the line.
Tess's eyes widen. "Get out." She hisses.
"Fine." Nate spits, turning on his heel and storming out of the room, slamming the door behind him.
The room spins in front of Tess's eyes, and her breathing is so laboured, she is gasping for air. She hasn't felt this shattered, since, well, Shane dumped her. Except this feels ten times worse than that. She was furious with Shane back then. How dare he leave her?
But this time, Tess is furious at herself. She's the one to blame this time, for all the heartache and misery that she knows is going to come after the numb shock of Nate's bitter words has worn off. She feels the walls closing in, and her knees buckle. She catches herself, before she hits the ground, but doesn't cease her moving. She uses her momentum to carry herself out of her bedroom, down the stairs an out of her house. She doesn't stop running until the pounding pain in her legs causes her to stop and catch her breath. She coughs and splutters when she tries to intake too much oxygen at once, and she knows the sting in her chest isn't just from her fight with Nate. Breathing in through her nose and out through her mouth, she takes in her surroundings.
With a shock, she realises that she has no idea where she is. She fumbles and grabs her cell phone out of her pocket, flipping it open. Scrolling though the names in her contact list, it dawns on Tess that she has no one to call. No one to rely on anymore. The person she had counted on to always be there for her had removed himself from her life completely.
Taking a deep breath, Tess presses the call button on the one number she once promised herself she would never go to for help. Her voice catches in her throat as they answer.
"Hello?"
"Mom, it's me. I need you to come get me."
"Honestly, Theresa, what were you thinking, hanging around in a neighbourhood like that?" TJ Tyler snipes at her daughter in the passenger's seat of her SUV.
"I told you, I went for a run and got lost." Tess sighs, tuning her mother out and retreating into her own mind, not snapping out of her stupor until TJ pulls into a familiar parking lot.
"Where are we? I thought we were going home!" Tess gasps anxiously as she looks up at the immense recording studio building.
"You pulled me out of a session, sweetie, and now I need to finish it. Honestly!" TJ shakes her head as if Tess is a five year old. "You can wait in the green room until I'm done."
"Mommy, please, you don't understand. I can't be here!" Tess grabs her mother's arm desperately. She hates to think what might happen if she sees Nate here.
"Of course you can, you're here with Nathaniel all the time." TJ rolls her eyes as she open her door, expressing once again her disdainful opinion of Nate. In her eyes, he was nothing next to 'that lovely Shane Gray. I don't understand why you broke up with him, Theresa.' Of course Tess is too proud to tell her mother what really happens in her wretched love life.
"No, Mom, we had a fight. I don't want to see him if he's here." Tess struggles to get her words out fast enough.
TJ sighs and rolls her eyes again, and Tess feels a flash of fury beneath her decreasingly numb daze. "Tess, you can't just run away from all your problems. You got to stand up for yourself sometime. I mean, you're my daughter for heavens sake, I didn't raise you to be a coward." TJ scoffs.
Tess nearly spits out an angry rant about how TJ hadn't raised her at all, how it was always left up to someone else, when it hits her that this was the first meaningful thing her mother has said to her in her entire life. TJ was right. She needs to face Nate and tell him how she really feels.
If only she knew how she really feels.
Tess nods slowly and her mother smiles gleefully. Tess smiles back uncertainly, getting out of the SUV. Taking her mother's hand in silent thanks, Tess walks boldly into the building.
Her new found courage disappears as her mother abandons her in the lobby to go back to her studio, and she suddenly feels very exposed. Frantically, Tess looks for a place to hide, and starts walking quickly towards the green room. Maybe if she can get there without being spotted by anyone, she'll be lucky enough to go unnoticed for the rest of the day.
Tess Tyler doesn't have much luck, unfortunately. Rounding the last corridor before the green room, she runs straight into a tall boy with straight dark hair and a killer smile. God, how she despises that smile.
"Tess! You're here again! Must be my lucky day!" Shane grins down at the shaking blonde girl, his hands steadily in place on her shoulders.
"Don't touch me." Tess whispers menacingly, shrugging him off.
"Tess, babe, come on, don't be like this." Shane's face scrunches up in shock.
"Don't call me babe, either. I'm not your babe. I'm not your anything." She hisses.
"What's up with you? You were peachy keen this morning, why are you being such a bitch now?" Shane sniggers arrogantly.
"Because I'm good at it. I'm good at turning people away from me. That's why you chose her over me, right?"
Shane's face falls when he realises where this conversation is headed. "No, babe, I mean Tess, it didn't happen like that…"
"Don't give me that crap! I know how it happened! You got sick of me. You saw what you really wanted and pounced, forgetting who you were leaving behind in the dust. You knew the minute your lips touched hers, we'd be over. Done. And you didn't give a shit!" Tess shrieks, backing away from him.
"No, Tess…"
"Just FUCK OFF, Shane! Have you not ruined my life enough? And now, thanks to you, Nate hates me!"
"Why do you even care? It's not like you weren't just using him to get to me!"
"How dare you think that?! Is that what you told him? Is that what he thinks?" Tess's stomach twists into a tight knot.
Shane's triumphant smirk tells her the answer, and all Tess sees is red. When her vision finally fades back into comprehension, Shane is on the ground, groaning and clutching his face. Looking at her throbbing hand in shock, Tess realises that she just punched him in the nose. She gasps, and opens her mouth to apologize, but then slowly shuts it again. Seeing Shane writhing on the ground with blood pouring out of his nostrils gives Tess an overwhelming sensation of liberation.
She knows how she feels now. She's not in love with Shane Gray anymore. She hasn't been for a long time.
"Not so lucky now, are you, Shane? Well, it was good seeing you again. Call me!" Tess winks at him as he glares at her from the carpet, sprinkled with drops of red, and saunters away.
Running out the automatic doors of the building, Tess scrambles for ideas on how to get out of there. Spotting her mother's assistant chatting on her BlackBerry next to her car, Tess rushes over. The severe looking woman raises an eyebrow, and mumbles into her phone "Hold on for a second."
"Penelope, Mom says you have to take me home right now." Tess puts on her best brat voice.
Penelope sighs. "I'll call you back." She mutters, and reluctantly opens the door she's leaning on. "Come on then, princess."
Tess skips gleefully into the car and buckles her seatbelt, bouncing impatiently when Penelope takes half the time to do so, ignoring the pounding feeling in her abdomen she gets when she knows she's going to be in a lot of trouble for her actions later. But right now Tess can't care less. Penelope had gotten off the freeway and she was nearly home. But as Penelope pulls into the driveway of the Tyler residence, Tess emits a high pitched squeal.
"No, keep going!" She cries, giving Penelope the address of a small but familiar house a few blocks away.
Penelope cringes "But, your mother…"
"Forget her." Tess snaps. "Just tell her you dropped me at home."
"Fine." Penelope moans. She's had enough experience with the Tyler's to know that they never back down when they want something. And this is something Tess really wants.
"Thanks, Pen, you're the best!" Tess grins sincerely at Penelope though the open window as she closes the door of the car behind her.
"Yeah, yeah." Penelope mutters again, speeding away and leaving Tess standing nervously in front of Nate's house.
Taking a deep breath, Tess wills herself towards the door. She wills herself to press the doorbell. She wills her feet to stay firmly planted as she hears the ring echo throughout the house. She steels herself to throw her body into Nate's arms as soon as he answers the door. The door swings open, she rocks backwards, ready to launch.
"Tess?" Jason blinks in confusion, stainding in the door way.
Tess freezes, scolding herself in her mind for not remembering the other occupant of the household. She assumed he would be out with is girlfriend, like most other times she was around there.
"Hey, Jase. Is Nate around?" Tess steadies herself, putting an icy mask back on her face.
"Nah, I haven't seen him since he left this morning. I thought he was with you." Jason shrugs. "He should be back soon. Do you wanna come in and wait?"
Tess chews on the inside of her cheek. "I guess." She sighs, walking into the small house as Jason stands aside.
An hour later, and Nate still hasn't appeared. Tess knew her mother must know that she lied to Penelope to get away from the studio by now, and would be furious. Resigning herself to the fact that Nate wasn't coming home anytime soon, Tess gets up off the couch and mumbles a solemn goodbye to Jason, who is only half paying attention. The other half is chuckling his head off at some zany television show where people get odd things thrown at them, or they are pushed into cold muddy water with oversized novelty boxing gloves that shoot out of walls, and the like.
Tess stares at her feet as she makes her way off the front porch and into the darkening night.
"Tess."
She hears her name being said blankly, like the speaker can hardly believe it's her.
"Nate." He's staring at her from the side walk, as she marches up to him, facing him square on.
"You're here."
"Yep."
"Why?"
"I don't want him. I want you."
"…Why?"
"Because I think I freakin' love you, okay?"
He gapes at her. "Jackass." She mutters, scuffing her flip-flop encased, pedicured toe along the ground, not caring if the polish chipped.
Nate just stares at her slack jawed. He fumbles for words, but all that comes out of him mouth is a wheezing sound.
"Speak, Nate, use your words like a big boy." Tess snipes sarcastically.
His face splits into a grin. "Do you know how long I've been waiting for you at your stupid house?"
"Why were you there? I was waiting here for you!" Tess chuckles.
"Fabulous." Nate rolls his eyes humorously. Then he lowers his eyes to the ground. "I just wanted to tell you I'm sorry for over-reacting before."
"Nate, don't apologize…"
"No, let me finish." He holds up a hand to silence her. "And I wanted to tell you that you were never Caitlyn's replacement. You were my friend who was there for me when I needed it."
"Good, because you were the same for me…"
"Tess! God damn it, I'm not done!' Nate exclaims in frustration.
"Sorry." Tess chuckles uneasily.
"I shouldn't have made things worse for you. I should have made them better. I want make things better for you, Tess." Nate pauses and looks at her through his lashes.
Tess smiles gently. "Done?"
"Not quite. For the record, I think I freaking love you too."
Tess's face lights up. "Okay, I'm done now." Nate finishes with a rush of air leaving his lungs.
Tess takes a small step towards him and takes his face into her hands. "You do make things better for me, Nate. Everything is better when you're around."
"Really?" Nate meets her eyes hopefully.
Tess responds with a soft kiss to his chapped lips, shredded by obvious hours of chewing them tensely. Tess can't imagine hers were much better. Breaking the kiss, Tess pulls him into her body tighter, resting the side of her head on his shoulder, beaming as he wraps his arms around her.
"So are we good now?" Nate whispers into her hair.
"Good? We're great." Tess smiles into the crook of his neck.
"Great." Nate mumbles in amazement. He believes her. Because no matter how good or bad, he knows he can always trust her. Tess would never lie to him. "We're great."
And that was the honest truth.
AN: Whoh, that was insanely long. I apologize to anyone who got carpal tunnel from having to scroll so much. I just didn't have the heart to post it as a chapter story. I imagined it to be just one story, and I wanted it to stay as one. The idea and illusion of two broken beings becoming whole again that I tried to create for this story would have been wrecked with pauses for chapters. I just didn't except it to be so MAMMOTH.
So I hope I kept that idea alive. PLEEEASE review and tell me what you thought! Did you think it was good as a one-shot, or do you want to kill me for having you read so much in one hit?