1.
Finally, morning. He opens his eyes and feels lonely. Taking chances made him achieve so much, but he was lonely, he had lost so much. Was it worth it? All these years in Japan, he had someone to rely on. Someone he could trust. Someone who was always there for him. Those five men, always by his side. He misses them. Especially him, the most important person.
'I should call today.' But he never does. Maybe he's ashamed. But he wonders: has he done anything wrong? Going after a dream, is it a bad thing? He doesn't know the answer to this questions. Once he figures this out, he'll call.
It was time to update his twitter. He always has private conversations through message. Mostly with friends he left in Japan. How are the, he starts writing, but once again he can't finish. He's scared someone is going to judge him. Or he just doesn't deserve to know. 'I'm not there with them. I left them. I have no right to know.'
It's hard to keep his worries to himself, without having that shoulder to lean on when things get hard. And there's always something that brings him down. And in this country, so far away from home, a problem always seems bigger than it already is. He layed down on his bed, lost in his own thoughts. He misses him so much. He wants to call him. He should call him. But later. For some reason, in his head, it wasn't time to call yet.
The phone rings. Jin picks it up, without watching who it was.
'Hello' he says, waiting for the person on the other side of the line to identify himself.
'Jin'
His heart stopped. A very familiar voice echoed inside his head. A voice which used to be heard along with his own, in front of thousands of fans.
'Jin?'
'Oh! Sorry. I wasn't expecting to hear from you'
'And I wasn't expecting to even listen to you again. Why haven't you call?'
He doesn't know the answer to this. Maybe it's better to change the topic and avoid the question.
'How's everything?' He heard a weak laugh on the other side and realized he was tired. At least he thought he was tired.
'Everything is fine. And you should have called. After all we're friends, right?'
'Right. Sorry' Jin felt lonelier. Being by his side used to be a very nice place to be.
'I have to go'
'I see' I miss you. I miss everyone. Let's meet.
He hung up and Jin felt empty. Hearing his voice had the power to make him depressed or extremely happy. Now, he's neither. He's just numb, like nothing could ever go back to the way it was before.
Jin sat on his bed and covered his eyes with the palms of his hands. He remembered the warmth he used to feel every time he needed some support. Now all he can feel are his cold hands. 'I better go take a shower'.
Feeling the warm water on his skin, he let all his feelings out. His tears blended in with the shower water, and he stayed there for a long time, just trying to get rid of all his emotions. 'I miss him so much. What have I done?'
2.
Training, training, training. He was tired, but he was glad he could forget about it for a moment. They were always there for him, and they still are. Why doesn't he want them anymore? Is this why he left? Because he doesn't want us anymore? Or maybe it's me. 'How stupid', he thinks to himself.
It's time to go back to the studio. The new show will start soon and they need to prepare the last details. The first time, they also started the show as five. And then Jin joined them when he got back from America. 'I hate that place...' Deep down, he wants Jin to join them again, on their new show, and just start over. 'I hate America...'
'Kame! Focus, man.'
'Sorry, sorry.' Koki has the tendency of keeping these thoughts away. It's like he knows who and what I'm thinking about. Junno is looking at him for a few seconds now. He could sense a joke coming out.
'KAT-TUN, let's shoot the preview'
'Safe' Kazuya thinks to himself. He wasn't in the mood for Junno's jokes, even though they were somehow amusing. Not funny, but amusing.
The shooting was over and it was time for the boys to go back home. He doesn't want to go home, though. It was depressing to stay there. 'He should at least call'. Jin had left for so long now, and he still hasn't call.
He's still waiting impatiently for a phone call. 'I just want him to tell me what's going on. I heard about his movie... But I wanted to listen the news from him'. He feels silly. Probably he was the only one who misses the old days. As a group, as friends. It was always fun with him around.
He waits, and waits. Waiting for him to talk seems like the best thing to do. He doesn't want to be in his life, and get his nose into Jin's bussiness, if he's not wanted. 'Not wanted... Not needed' Was this that made him leave? And this doesn't just mean leave Japan. It feels like Jin left him, and was happy like this.
'It's better to go back home' Walking fast, with big steps, he hurries home. What if Jin is calling right now? 'Silly'
After a few minutes he was at his doorstep. But he wasn't alone.
'I thought you were going straight home'
'I needed to clear my mind before going home'
'I see... Let's come in. I'm tired of waiting for you'
He opened the door and took off his shoes. Koki, behind him, did the same thing.
'Want to drink something?'
'Whatever you have around here' Koki answered, making himself comfortable and turning on the TV. Kazuya looked around and just found wine. He grabbed two cups and sat by Koki's side on the couch.
'What are you doing here?'
'Just checking if you're fine. You seemed distant today'
Again, Koki seemed to have read his mind. Since Jin left, Koki was always by his side, making him laugh or just calming him down. It made everything easier.
'I am'
'You're not'
'You came to check if I was fine, or to just say I'm not and ask why?' He leaned back and closed his eyes. The glass in his right hand still empty. 'Fill this up' He asked.
Koki opened the bottle, and filled his cup first, then Kame's. He drank a little bit, and leaned back again, this time with his glass full of wine. The sat in silence for a few minutes. Koki staring at the TV, Kazuya with his eyes closed, taking sips from the wine from time to time.
'Listen...'
He opened his eyes and saw a Koki staring at him. It was not the frst time he saw that look in his eyes.
'What's wrong?'
'Do you miss him that much?'
He didn't know what to answer. He wanted to see Jin again. Or just listen to him. It was like having some kind of contact with him could make everything right again.
'I don't know.'
Koki took a deep breath and drank the rest of the wine. He reached for the bottle and filled his glass again, the got closer to Kazuya.
'You know I won't leave you'
That was true. Koki was always by his side. Always protecting him. Even when Jin was around. But it's not the same thing.
Author Notes
my first fanfiction. akame was my first OTP and i miss it so much i decided to start writing a fanfiction about them. first of all i want to say that english is not my first language, so expect a lot of fail english :c
you probably noticed already but there's a love triangle c; i'll try and make things interesting and not cliché at all.
thank you for reading! i'll see you again soon.