Dizzy
Calliope
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Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam wing
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"Love doesn't make the world go round it just makes you dizzy so
you think it does."
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It's a
white prison. So pure yet so
tainted. White isn't a color for a
place like this. Why can't it be black? They should paint it black. Or maybe gray. Whatever. It shouldn't be
white. Maybe I should burn it
down. Let the fire scorch it, burn it. Let the inferno obliterate all of it. Everything. Turn it all to ash and then let it scatter to the four corners. Incinerate it, and then let me burn with
it. No, that wouldn't be a good
idea. Burning alive…doesn't sound very
appealing to me.
I
used to try to escape. I used to punch
the walls and kick them and scream and yell till my throat burned and my breath
was short. Then the doctors came in and
gave me sedatives. Not anymore though,
now I'm calm.
Hardly anyone comes
to visit me. They used to though; they
used to come and look at me with such hatred in their eyes I couldn't stand
it. But lately no one has come. Everyone's either forgotten me or deemed me
unworthy to receive company. I'm alone
now. Most of the time I don't notice
the walls are white. Most of the time
they are black. Never gray though. Most of the time everything is empty most of
the time she's still alive. I talk to
her a lot. People think it's wrong,
they say she's dead. Sometimes she
is. Most of the time she's not.
If you don't
understand then it's not a big deal. No
one else does. It's funny; this is
their entire fault, hers and his. I
can't be mad at her though. I could
never be mad at her. She's an
angel. A living angel.
I don't know how
long ago it was, and I don't know how things started. I still remember it like it was yesterday. Although the end is a bit hazy.
* ~ * ~ * ~ *
She was mad at me. I hadn't been paying any attention to her for the past month and it was
getting to her. I hadn't even
acknowledged our wedding anniversary. Yes, she was mad at me. And when
she tried to talk to me about it, I said she was needy, and told her that she
knew my personality when we were getting married.
"I thought I did. But I guess I was wrong. I mean,
to think that you could ever change just a little bit, that you could feel an
iota of emotion I just…no, I never thought you were such an emotionless
bastard." She said.
"Well, if you feel that way, maybe we shouldn't be
together." I retorted. I still wonder
why I said that. It was stupid of me.
"Fine." She replied
coolly.
I remember it was
drizzling that night, so the ground was wet and muddy and the rain fell lightly
on her making it seem like she was glowing. I remember her hair glistening. I
remember what she was wearing too: a simple white dress, she was also wearing
white heels. And I remember being
worried that she might catch cold in the wet weather, or stain her white
clothes, and I remember not doing anything about it.
* ~ * ~ * ~ *
She was on the couch the next morning when I went
down for breakfast. I didn't know where
she'd gone the night before and I was too proud to ask what I was dying to
know. She refused to talk to me for
three days after that. And she slept on
the couch for three nights after that. And after three days, I couldn't stand not being near her anymore.
On the fourth day, when she was passing me in the
hall I grabbed her arm and turned her around so she was facing me.
"What do you want?" She asked in a slightly annoyed
tone.
"I wanted to say, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I wasn't paying attention to you
before. I'm sorry I wasn't treating you
the way you should be treated, I'm sorry. And this is all my fault." I said.
She looked at me closely, and then she kissed
me. A wave of something indescribable
hit me, and all of a sudden it was our wedding again. That day was the only other time I'd felt something like this, so
fulfilling. I of course returned the
kiss, and then we went a little further.
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When I woke up, she was gone. I walked over to the dresser and saw a note:
Heero-
I'm doing brunch with Colonel Anderson to
discuss the Mars terraforming project. I'll be home for dinner.
-
Relena
Now, Colonel Anderson is a nice lady. She's a little hard core but it helps her get
the job done. She works with Zechs
though. And Zechs had just arrived to
visit. I was in the process of
wondering why Rena had chosen to talk with Colonel Anderson, a woman who I
could tell she strongly disliked, instead of her brother. And I was just in the process of telling
myself that it was because her brother hadn't been on Mars for the past month
so he wouldn't know anything, which was a viable solution/reason, when Duo
burst through the door.
"Hey man, 'Josan's gotta
go to L1 since ESUN wants to put a Preventor base near there." He said
quickly. He seemed to be in an awful
rush, fidgeting nervously speaking quickly.
"Are you alright?" I
asked.
"No, I'm completely wired
on caffeine, pulled an all nighter last night trying to help Une persuade Mr.
Michaels that an ESUN base near his colony would be perfectly safe and would
help if anyone ever tried to take over the world."
"Tell her to stay in my
house when she gets there." I said, reverting to the first topic.
"That's ok, see we got it
all figured out and she's gonna stay at Motel 6."
"We?"
"Oh, I forgot to tell
you, I'm security detail."
"Hn. Tell her to stay at my house." I said. My
wife, stay at Motel 6? They usually only have one bed per room. At least my house had more than one bedroom.
"No. Pagan's already
sending her stuff and—"
"Forget it, I'll veto
it. She's going to stay in my
apartment."
"Fine."
* ~ * ~ * ~ *
I really shouldn't have
let them stay there. I really shouldn't
have let Duo go with her. But Duo was
my best friend, Relena was my loving wife. They were the last people on earth who I thought might betray me.
She'd flown up on the
twelfth. I went up on the
fourteenth. After all it was Valentines
Day and I wanted to surprise her. I
called a cab that took me to my house on L1 of course. I unlocked the door, stepped inside and
closed it behind me. Then I proceeded
upstairs carrying a bouquet of white roses, her favorite. When I got to the door that I presumed to be
hers I heard some noises. Suspecting
trouble I dropped the roses, pulled out my gun, clicked off the safety, put on
the silencer, and broke the door down.
What I saw was the
single most surprising thing in my life. MY wife, was in bed with MY best friend. Naked. Both of them,
going at it shouting each others names. Duo was on top of her. I shot
him. I put an end to their little
"liaison" if that's what they thought it was. She screamed and the rest is fuzzy. Someone must have heard her and called the police. Then everything went black, and I woke up
here.
* ~ * ~ * ~ *
I'll never know how long
things were going on between them. When
I woke up here, Quatre punched me. They
all yelled at me, called me a stupid bastard. All the women were crying and Zechs was ready to jump me. I only heard the words "YOU KILLED DUO!" and
later they tried to tell me Relena was dead. I don't think so though. I don't
believe them.
Ah, Dr. Jameson is
leading a newbie down the hall.
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"So, Dr. Jameson, isn't
that Heero Yuy?"
"Yes."
"Why is he here?"
"He killed his best
friend and his wife and then he attempted suicide. He seems to think she's still alive though."
"Really?"
"Yeah apparently she was cheating
on him and he caught her in bed with his best friend."
"Man, poor guy."
"Actually, I don't think
you could blame her, rumor has it he was abusive."
"Gee, just goes to show
you how screwed up the world is."
"Yeah."
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I…killed…her? I killed her. I remember beating her, I remember hitting her, but I killed
her? NO no it it couldn't be, I'd never
I wouldn't… I did.
I killed her. She is dead after all.
You know what? I can't help but laugh at this. I deserve it I guess. I deserve it all. Whoops, I see the new guy accidentally left his lighter on the
barred window. Maybe starting a fire
won't be such a bad idea after all…