hey so this is my first fanfic so please be nice :)
WARNING: Slash
Disclaimer: don't own Harry Potter. :(
-x- Dee
Draco's POV
Harrys POV
-x-
Step one you say we need to talk
He walks you say sit down it's just a talk
I watched from my table at Lunch, I could see it but I didn't know how no-one else could. Harry hadn't been himself since the beginning of first year; he seemed to be withdrawing into himself with every passing day. I had been finding myself lying awake at night wondering what was happening if he was hurting what I could do.
I'd been watching him for a while now only recently coming to terms with why and only more recently to why it made me so angry at what I was seeing. I now know what i needed to do before I couldn't do anything.
He smiles politely back at you
You stare politely right on through
I thought he loved me I thought Cormac loved me but whatever feelings of love or happiness dissolved with the first, second, third and every other abuse that he gave. I don't know why I take what Cormac does to me in silence in submission, I could blame the Dursleys blame the abuse they gave me, but I guesses Im scared…Scared that no-one else will want me, loving me…look after me. I know Cormac doesn't love me and take care of me but he wants me and no one else does…...Its true because if it wasn't why would Cormac say it?
Some sort of window to your right
As he goes left and you stay right
Between the lines of fear and blame
I watched him from the window of the astronomy tower, watching him was a habit now or an obsession, but I couldn't stop I needed to watch to know to see, in case he needed me. I wanted to tell him every day I'm there for him anytime any place, but I couldn't till now because now I couldn't pretend I couldn't ignore.
Whenever we see each other it would ensure wands flying out and insults thrown across….there's nothing he keeps his head down and I walk right on past, I ignore but I look back he never does but I caught his eye once and I shattered in side for what was there. I could see the pain and suffering behind the mask he had built up so strong everyone else could pretend I could as well till then, I saw what everyone else ignored and that was a cry for help. I need to help.
And you begin to wonder why you came
I wonder every day the same question, it runs around my head and causes me to cry to scream to freeze…Why? I wonder why we happened, why I deserve this, what I did wrong, Why did I do that? I wonder why I go back, I wonder why but I never say anything at all.
He never lets me see my friend alone, I guess he's worried I might tell, he should know by now I can't no one would care really. He sometimes comes and sees me just to shout and insult me for hours I can still hear him screaming once he's left I'm always left behind the door in tears and a new injury to hide. Where in the beginning he was soft and warm he's now cold and rough, sex used to be making love to me now it feel like rape, I'm always left bloody and bruised and he leaves with he's smirk intact and satisfied just how he likes.
I'm never happy anymore I don't think I've smiled in the year gone by, it's hard to one there's nothing to smile for.
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend?
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
I sometimes cry when I'm alone thinking of him all alone, knowing there's nothing I can do even though I could stop it all. I wish I could tell him how I feel how I want to rip Cormac's head off he's shoulders when I see him touch my harry…but I know he'd never feel the same.
But I waited in shadows till I could save you and now is the time.
Let him know that you know best
Cause after all you do know best
Draco's stare follows me I don't think he knows I know but I do. You'd think it would hate him after all the years of rivalry but truth be told I admired Draco; he's beauty and wit and how smart he is but not uptight about it his snobbish attitude actually amuses me but I could never stare back…not anymore because when Cormac found this out I suffered the worst Beating to count. Cormac liked to use Legilimens on me every time we were alone which caused pain like no other this followed by a beating or a verbal assault if what he found. This led to me when I was alone cutting away the pain caused by him, by causing pain caused to myself. It gives me power…..control it's the only thing I can control Cormac doesn't like me having control or choices or even thought. To him I'm a toy his puppet he pulls the string for the show.
Try to slip past his defence
Without granting innocence
I have a plan….I don't know if it will work but I will try and if this plan doesn't work ill think of another I'll keep trying till I can save him and make him smile again, I want to see the light in Emerald eyes return, I want to hear his laugh. I need to get his alone I want to talk to him when his asshole that has the nerve to touch him and call him his boyfriend, the dick that ruined my little snakes innocence and love.
Lay down a list of what is wrong
The things you've told him all along
And pray to God, he hears you
And pray to God, he hears you
I write lists of things I think I've done wrong; it goes on and on and on. I sit alone and pray he doesn't come, I wonder why all along. My prayers are never answered though because he still comes and another piece of me dies. I've been planning this for a while I've planned it right down to the point I leave and be unnoticed just another face in the crowed. The thought of everything ending is just now too much to handle.
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
I ran through the halls of the castle my panic increasing with every step, id overheard Granger talking to Weasley harry hadn't turned up to any classes, I thought nothing of it, it was an on-going recurrence but I wasn't an occurrence for Cormac to be going around demand to anyone and everyone where Harry was. And for some reason I knew exactly what was happening. I ran as fast as I could to the astronomy tower knowing he was their wishing he wasn't I knew something like this was going to happen sooner or later I just wished I could of gone through with my plan first. When I arrived I wish I didn't see what I could see.
Seeing him there stood at the edge of the tower tears running down his cheeks I realised I was crying to at the desperate sight before my eyes I just wanted to hold him there.
As he begins to raise his voice
"STOP PLEASE NO" I heard someone shout I spun around so quickly at the desperation in the voice shocked me I nearly loss my footing which wasn't really a bad thing in what I'm trying to do. Who I saw stood there made me want to jump more and run to even more "Why" I whispered back just to hear his answer.
You lower yours and grant him one last choice
Drive until you lose the road
"Because I can't let you do this" I whispered back, my voice breaking with every word. "Why" he replied, tears running and desperation in his eyes, it broke my heart. "You don't have to do this, I can help you I know what you're going through I've seen it and I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry harry but don't do this just come down please" I was near sobbing now just thinking that if I had put my feeling before my pride we wouldn't be in this position.
Or break with the ones you've followed
He will do one of two things
"But why would you be sorry you didn't do anything" I was so confused why was he trying to stop me he hates me I wish he didn't but he does he's made it so clear over the years. "But that's it I didn't do anything I knew what was happening and I didn't do anything I'm so sorry harry please come down I begging you" He shouted at me but what caught me was the pain in his voice why would he be in pain, I replied stepping down un voluntarily one as if I didn't I was scared he would hit me for disobeying him like Cormac does, thinking of Cormac made me very nearly jump without a thought but I knew…no I needed to hear why Draco wanted me to stop. "If you know then you have to understand why I need this I can't do it anymore I want it to stop, I need it to stop I can't go on anymore"
He will admit to everything
"You don't have to, I'll help you I won't let him near you…I won't let him hurt you any harry" God I was so scared he could jump back up at any time and I know now is the time for the truth to come out and I meant every word I'll take care of him and if Cormac even thinks of touching My harry he won't know what hit him. "Why" he whispered in pain but I could see it I could finally see it and it gave me the courage to say what needed to be say, I saw hope.
"Because I love you" it rang around the room till I heard it in my own ears, and I knew I truly meant it I loved harry and I always have.
Or he'll say he's just not the same
And you begin to wonder why you came
"Because I love you" it rang around the room till I heard it in my own ears, and it shook me to my core, he loved me I couldn't believe it at first it physically hurt hearing it I felt myself flinch when the last syllable was uttered. It's a joke it has to be a joke some sick joke Cormac constructed to humiliate me even further making me think someone could love me.
"Liar" I spat out "You liar you liar you liar you liar you liar" I was hysterical at this point and I couldn't stop shouting it I was crying so much it was becoming difficult to believe. "Harry, harry, harry please I'm not, please HARRY" hearing him shout brought memories off what usually followed when Cormac yelled and then I fell apart sobbing shaking I feel to my knees I wanted so badly to believe Draco but all I could think about what Cormac had told me, no-one could love me no-one would want to.
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
When I saw him fall I ran, I fell in front of him I wrapped my arms around his delicate body I held him till the tears eventually stopped not realising my own tears falling. I repeated the same thing till there was silence "I love you"
I didn't stop repeating this until I heard his voice flout to my ears it was defeated but hopeful and I just needed to make that hope lift him from where he was, "Why"
"I love your voice, I love your eyes not because their you're mothers but because all the emotions they portray like a beautiful painting changing with your mood, I love your laughter so infectious it floats across a room filling all the dark corners, I love how you see things equally you forgive and you believe in everyone even when they don't deserve it, I love how strong and brave you are. I love how adorable you are. I love how everytime I look at you, you take my breath away, and I love how I can't imagine a day without you in my life. I love how I can dream, and you're the only person I see. I love how you inspire me to be more than I am. Most of all, I love you for the person that you are and I'll never leave you unless you say otherwise."
Then what I heard stopped time, I couldn't breathe and everything just brightened because I heard what I needed what I wanted I heard the words that sealed my fate "I love you to"
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
How to save a life
I forgot words for what I wanted to say was not enough so I showed him what I wanted to say. I kissed him like everything was alright nothing was wrong, I didn't hear fireworks or wedding bells but I felt…..I felt complete I could feel him in my arms knowing he was now forever mine, I wasn't going to let go I wasn't going to let him hurt anymore. I'm going to love him every day even if one day he doesn't love me anymore but ill protect him. He is my one love. I saved him and all I wanted from him was to love him and I will and now I can.
How to save a life
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
How to save a life
He loves me. Someone loves me and I love him. He saved my life so ill love him and let him love me. I got what I want and that's just his love.
How to save a life
-x- hope you like :)