I got this idea last night when I was listening to the song 'Together When…' by Ayumi Hamasaki. The lyrics have nothing to do with the story from what I know but the melody got me thinking aout stuff in life and this appeared. Its a bit strange considering I always pair Roxas up with Sora but this worked for Riku for some reason. So enjoy and reviews are appreciated.
Disclaimer: I do not own anything, all characters are owned by Square Enix and Disney.
~*Together When…*~
You know, its funny when you think about you it. Its really funny that a person can have all that their heart desires but yet they still yearn for more or don't treat what they have with the respect they deserve. Or sometimes the person doesn't feel complete because they feel that they don't receive the happiness that they should of received from their treasures. Sometimes I wonder about it myself and sometimes I wonder why I would think of such thoughts.
I mean, here I am lying in bed with the man I love, him holding me in his arms in the flat that we live in together. I've got a steady job with decent payment and I've got wonderful friends who are always there for me. My family loves me and I have a twin brother who I seriously couldn't live with out. But somehow I feel empty, longing for something else to lift me off my feet. I know it sounds selfish but I don't understand why this always attacks me when I'm alone with my thoughts. And whenever I think of it, it somehow leads to my brother and boyfriend.
Maybe its because they are the two most important people in my life but recently I have felt something different about them yet its always been there. Its probably that damn bond that they have, they've always been so close ever since I can remember. Sora and I were close obviously being nearly identical twins and all, people used to say that if Sora dyed his hair then no one would be able to tell us apart. I've never saw it, I've always seen the difference in our appearance even if its small. But yes, Sora and I were very attached. He was always the one who could brighten me up and pull me out of my shell. But when we met Riku, the two of them became inseparable almost immediately. Though I was friends with Riku and hanged out with him along with Sora, I always felt a bit left out. There was just a spark between them that no one could hinder.
They shared everything, did everything together and were rarely apart. I was left behind, though Sora did take me with him and Riku as much as he possible, most of the time I was on my own even though were we all there together. Sora was the out going and lively one who made friends with just about anyone where as I was shy, quiet, kept myself to myself and rarely ventured out to find kids to play with. Even when I managed to make my own friends I never felt that spark that Riku and Sora have, even now where I consider my friends pretty close I still don't have that feeling.
I soon found myself jealous of Riku, he had taken my brother away from me. While he and Sora had a laugh and interacted in our room, I would be sitting in the corner reading a book in silence. Riku became a normal part of my life and was practically family since he was over every single night and he even came on holiday with us. I hated it and I came to resent him but I never found the courage to speak openly about it, after all I was just a child and hated other things to.
When high school came, the whole scenario took a huge step into something worse. I started looking at Riku in a way I never had before. Admiring his unique silver locks, precious eyes that always glittered under the spotlight, his perfectly carved face and moist lips that I wanted to gobble up. I was crushing on him, I never even thought for a second of my life that I would like boys let alone a boy called Riku but he was the only person I looked at that way. As time passed, amidst all the hate I had for him before and then I found myself falling in love with him even though I had never entered the first stage with him. Though sadly, my anger was still there. I could see the look he started to give Sora and how he would blush whenever Sora's skin came into contact and how his voice would stutter whenever Sora hugged him which happened nearly everyday. I hated it and him even more, constantly cursing his name in my head that he was still as close as he was to my brother but also that he was crushing on my brother when I had fallen for the guy. I just couldn't under why God hated me so and was putting me through torture because of this person I couldn't stand yet longed to be with.
I remember when I told Sora that I liked boys instead of girls, he just engulfed me in a hug immediately and was happy that I accepted who I was. Apparently he found it out ages ago. I also told him I thought Riku liked him in that way but he simply burst into an uncontrollable fit of laughter and told me that Riku would never feel like that about him. I told Sora he was probably right and it was all in my head, but I remember that look on Riku's face when Sora told him that he was dating Kairi, he was in a foul mood for days after it and I swore one night he was staying over I could he him crying. I wanted to go into the guest room and hold him but part of me never let myself go in for I wished he felt that way about me.
Sora started spending more time with Kairi which in a rather strange blessing, Riku started hanging around me more often. Our once awkward silences and small talk was replaced with laughter and joyous memories. I finally felt at ease with him, he finally accepted me as Roxas and not as Sora's brother and I was finally able to let go of all of the anger I had. We got closer and he pulled me more out of my shell when I wasn't with Sora and I gained my own personality. Even Sora actually said he noticed how much happier I was.
Then, it happened. We were sitting in the living room with Riku was flipping through the TV channels moaning as he always did that nothing was on where as I was engulfed in my new Phantasy Star book and only mumbled something back to him. A few moment later, he threw the book out of my hands and I protested back only to find my voice silenced by his lips on mine. It took me a couple of seconds to realise what was going on before I returned the kiss. I was still shell shocked when he parted, just staring into his eye eyes made me breathless as my brain tried to connect the dots to realise that this wasn't a dream. He told me that he had felt this way for a long time but wasn't sure of my feelings. I don't think he expected my reaction as I burst into tears and cuddled him, mopping that I felt the same way. We started dating and everything after that just seemed to fall into place. My wish had come true and I was with Riku, I finally vanquished all of the ill feelings I had towards Riku before and I became part of his life. I swear, Sora acted like he was on drugs when we came out to him, saying that it was the perfect match for the two people he cared most about in the world. And he elbowed Riku, saying that he expected to become a brother in law in the not to distant future.
My life just continued to get better, Sora and I grew even closer as brothers and as friends from my relationship with Riku and I was able to be more open with him. I passed my exams with flying colours and I was accepted into one of the best colleges in the area. Riku and I moved in together and we flew across the world on a plane for my first holiday abroad. Yes everything was absolutely perfect in my life but why do I still feel that ache in the pit of my stomach?
Its whenever I see Sora and Riku, still best friends to the end. I still see that glimmer in his eyes whenever he talks to Sora, the smile that grows when Sora enters the room. Even though Riku loves me and I love him I can't help but feel that sometimes I was just the second choice in what Riku wanted more. I mean, Riku and I had become closer ever since Sora became off limits when he started going out with Kairi and I felt like I maybe was the left over that Riku had to settle with. I know its not Sora's fault but I can't understand why Riku's seems to still be enchanted with him like he was back in high school. Maybes its just friendship but there's always that feeling that hides deep inside me.
Sometimes I really do feel like an idiot when I think this way like now when Riku wakes up and mumbled good morning to me and pulls me as close as he can to his body. Or when I return the good morning and he kisses me on my mop of blond hair. Or when he then pulls out a ring box, opens it and asks me to marry him. Or when the hot tears run down my cheeks as I look into his eyes and slowly nod a response. Or when he places the ring on my finger and kisses me deeply and passionately and we ended up having a long session of love making. Or when its over and we lie in bed together all day, and says he can't wait to tell Sora because Sora was still bugging him about the brother in law hint the made four years ago.
When I look into the ring as he places soft kisses on my head I start to think. Even if what I think about Riku's feelings for Sora is true, I suppose being second choice isn't that bad.