Reluctant Return
The shuttle was silent as I piloted through the mountains. Even at the best of times, Cody wasn't much of a talker, but I was grateful for his silence now. With my emotions churning everywhere, I don't think I could stand chatter. Even R2D2 was silent, sitting in the back. For all I knew, it could have powered itself down, trying to escape the proverbial black cloud that seemed to hang over us. Not the best mindset to be in, all things considered.
"What do you think?" I finally asked, needing to distract myself from the dark thoughts that were starting to creep in. "As someone whose never been on this planet before, what's your first impression?"
"It's beautiful," the clone answered noncommittally, looking out the window again. "Feels Darker then I was expecting though, considering the disposition of Caelum and yourself."
As he spoke, the shuttle moved around the final peak and the palace was displayed in all it's shimmering, ominous, horrible glory before us. The sight made my throat catch, and not in a good way. Despite the decades spent away, I couldn't forget my dislike for this place. My hatred. "We're the exception," I muttered to my friend, prepping the shuttle for landing. "Not the rule. Not here." The VanGuards were waiting at the landing site, white eyes glinting at us from the black masks. No matter how much I braced myself, the sight made me flinch. Those faces stalked my nightmares, and I couldn't believe that I was willing returning to their lair. "Do me a favor," I said tightly as we set down. "Stay close."
"Of course, Commander Skywalker," the clone replied, remaining seated until the ship was fully settled on the ground. Only once the engines had shut down did he unstrap himself, grabbing his pack as the entrance port hissed open. He and the recently awakened R2 waited patiently as I gathered my things and gave the shuttle controls a last going over. Only once I was confidant that everything was locked down did I disembark, clone and droid behind me.
We were greeted by the VanGuard, as I knew we would be. The black-masked soldiers bowed as I approached, not moving until I had stopped before them. "Well met, captain," I said briskly to the leader, voice clear of any dislike. The Order had certainly refined my diplomatic skills, at the least. "I assume you are here to escort us?" The leader nodded, white eyes glinting in the strong morning sun. By the Force, I hated those masks. "Thank you, but we don't require your services. Remain at your post." I knew they wouldn't obey; it was a political game that was common amongst all palace residents. So when I moved to walk by the squad, it was no surprise that they moved as a unit to follow.
Facing the leader fully, I allowed the slightest of frowns to cross my face. It was time to remind these people who I was. "Last time I checked, my legs were still in working order, captain, so I do not require your help to walk. Only a fool could get lost with the palace towering over us as it is, so I don't need a guide. Your services are not needed so remain at your post." After a quick battle of wills, the captain inclined his head, stepping back. With a sharp nod, not allowing my face to show my disgust for the games I was forced to play with these people, I turned to continue on the path to the stairs, Cody and R2 behind me. With a slight twist of the Force, I was able to levitate the droid in order to avoid leaving it behind on the steep staircase. To its credit, it made no sound of protest.
A few steps up, I paused and turned back to the watching VanGuard. "Oh, and captain? You might want to tell the scientists to keep their distance for a while." White eyes glinted at me as he nodded before I turned around to resume climbing.
It wasn't until we were out of the VanGuard's hearing range that Cody queried, "Scientists?"
"Do loud noises bother you?" I asked in reply, stubbornly looking forward as I tried to concentrate. The Force was nearly vibrating from all the Sith above us. Looking back at my early life, I couldn't believe that I hadn't noticed them before.
"You know they do not, Commander Skywalker," the clone answered, not bothered that I had ignored his question. If only more people acted like clones. "Part of our training on Kamino was to become accustomed to loud noises."
"Good," I replied simply. A few seconds later, the ground shook from a large explosion behind us. As expected, Cody didn't even flinch, though he did look over his shoulder with a neutral expression. I didn't even do that much, focusing completely on climbing the stairs. Levitating something up a steep incline wasn't exactly easy. Only once everything had settled once more did I explain, "During my time on the moon, I learned that Earth scientists can get information from anything tech. I didn't want them learning or gaining anything from the shuttle." Seeing the military logic of my words, the clone nodded before focusing forward again, shifting closer to me as a small squad of regular soldiers hurried past us to investigate the explosion. The disruption was enough that he didn't have time to ask why I had saved the scientists by giving warning. Despite living with the Jedi for so long, he was still a solider. He couldn't afford mercy. And now, more than ever, I couldn't afford to not be merciful.
The stairs stretched on, seeming to never end. Cody and I remained silent, finding no reason to talk. Everything that had needed to be discussed had been covered prior to landing. Now we just walked, conserving our energy for the trials ahead. Even R2 was quiet as it bobbed along behind me, though I could hear it's dome swiveling around as it looked about. The mood of the entire group was rather somber, but somehow managed to take a nose-dive as we finally reached the top and stepped on the plateau, seeing the palace up close for the first time.
"I hate this place," I muttered, surprising Cody as I lowered R2 back onto solid ground. It had been a long time since he'd heard any Jedi claim to hate something; it wasn't our way and he knew it. However, it was a sentiment he was going to have to get used to. There wasn't much I didn't hate here.
Passing more squads of VanGuards, we entered the monstrous palace, keeping very close to each other. Regardless of training, I could see that Cody was uncomfortable. The palace had been designed to make even the bravest beings nervous. It was made completely out of some black stone that I had never been able to identify. Full of sharp edges and cruel decorations, it was not the most welcoming of places. That didn't even account for the slaves. There weren't many, but they moved about us silently, each focused fully on their task while pretending to be invisible. Even child slaves could be seen, little more than skin and bones.
With hands locked behind my back, I strode down the hall with my head raised, hoping no one besides Cody would notice my disease. This was a place I'd escaped from, hid from, and sworn to never return to. Being back left a bitter taste in my mouth and a shadow on my heart. Seeing the slaves again was worse than I'd thought it would be. I knew what it was like to be a slave, now. To be seen as less than human. I wanted to meet their eyes, smile at them, thank them, apologize to them. But I couldn't.
"Commander Skywalker," Cody said quietly, breaking the silence between us as we approached the large doors at the end of the hall. "Are you sure about this?"
Pausing a few steps from the door, I looked up. Most people thought the doors were blank and smooth, but I knew otherwise. In the right place, with the right light, the faint carvings could be seen, revealing a mighty and horrible dragon. It stood, towering over a village that was in flames with it's wings extended and it's head thrown back in a roar of triumph. Blood dripped from the open mouth and bodies were scattered about the ground, all that remained of the rampage. There had been a time when I'd though the dragon was my guardian and what I strived to be when I grew up. A mighty warrior that destroyed its enemies and rejoiced in their defeat. Now I knew it to be my demon, the one thing I could never afford to be. "No Cody, I'm not. But I don't have much of a choice." Glancing back at the stoic man, I tried to smile. "Thanks for coming this far with me. I'll understand if you don't want to go any farther."
Giving me a flat look, the clone spread his legs slightly in order to stand easier and settled into place. It was a stance I knew well as all clones had used it in both wars. He wasn't going anywhere. With a whistle of agreement, R2 rolled into place beside him, adding an insulting cheep towards me. That brought a real smile to my face and I nodded to them both before facing the door again. The smile couldn't survive in the face of my past, but the warmth in my chest persevered. "Wait here." Knowing they would obey, I walked forward. When I got close enough, the doors swung open on their own, eerily silent. Beyond them lay the fire-lined path of the throne room. Shadows shifted behind the flames, marking the inhabitants of the room. Several watched me with hateful eyes as I walked down the aisle, but if they were hoping for me to falter, they were disappointed. After all, somethings never change.
Back straight and head held high, I ignored the shadows. This was no different than the tests of my childhood. Showing weakness here would be asking for a fight, and no self-respecting Jedi asked for conflict. Let them hate me as they wished, but I would not let it affect me.
Reaching the end of the hall, I looked up to the woman sitting on the ivory throne. She wasn't smirking, but I could feel the smugness rolling off of her. Yet another thing that would never change, apparently. Despite my Jedi training, I couldn't wait to be the one to make her fear, make her doubt everything. I would be the one to bring her to her knees; the one to make her afraid. Not yet though. For now, I bowed slightly, though I held her gaze firmly. Let everyone else think that I was being submissive. She and I knew otherwise. It wasn't until her eyes tightened in irritation that I allowed myself a small, challenging smile. "Hello, Grandmother. I'm back."