Don't Ever Say That About Yourself
The rain continued to tap lightly on the bedroom windows like the drumming fingers of an impatient person. The messy bedroom was barely illuminated without the lights on and the grey clouds helped enclose the room in darkness even more.
A streak of lightning gave the walls a quick, yet short lasting shine and then a booming roar quickly followed. Sitting on the side of his bedpost, Roxas cleared off the magazines and used clothes scattered on his sleeping space roughly and made space for him to lounge more comfortably. Wearing a simple, yet comfortable oversized hoodie and boxers, he blond boy then held his knee to his chin, his favorite position when he's thinking. Another sigh puffed out of his mouth.
"I'm s-sorry I'm like this…" Roxas mumbled to himself and as soon as he says this, a stream of tears quickly cascaded down. He didn't even bother wiping it off, he just wanted to cry all the emotions away and lay there, helpless. A sharp pain invaded his chest suddenly, a clear sign that he was hurting both emotionally and physically. Roxas ruffled his own hair in frustration, feeling contempt towards himself. "Why did it have to be like this?"
"Why am I like this, why can't I just be norma-" The bedroom creaked open slowly, interrupting the boy's list of rhetorical questions. "I'm sorry to wake you Roxas, but dinner's ready-." Sora whispered but then stopped in his tracks of intruding into the small and cluttered bedroom, shocked to see his boyfriend in such a state.
He furrowed his brows in shock with his own pair of eyes blinking in disbelief. "Roxas! What happened? Why are you crying?" Roxas turned his fetal-positioned body away towards the blue wall, ashamed and unwilling to talk. He stared at each microscopic paint stroke blankly. He didn't want to bother Sora, anyone but his love. "It's nothing…"
Yep, that's Roxas, the kid who keeps everything to himself and never tells anyone anything. Sora disheveled his messy chocolate hair in response, something he and Roxas both share when faced with trouble, and sat down on the bedside. This was going to take a talk and he sat down on the wooden chair placed next to the equally cluttered desk. A mountain of paper, water bottles, folders and chip bags piled on the small work space and the only thing accessible was of course, the computer. But Sora ignored the mess next to him painstakingly and focused on his problem at hand.
"C'mon Roxas…you can tell me anything…I'm your boyfriend."
"Ugh…I'm just being my emo-self."
"What? No, don't ever say that about yourself, ok?" Sora said softly, trying to ignore those sulking words that damped his mood a bit. Silence replied his words and the brunette continued, "What happened…was it something I did?" Sora scowled at himself, knowing that he's not the sharpest knife in the shed and thought it was perhaps something he did unintentionally. He then landed his hand on his neck, rubbing his own sun-kissed skin in contemplation and confusion.
"No…it's not your fault…it's my friends who I usually hang out with…" Roxas murmured shamefully, thinking that that sounded ridiculous. His own friends making him feel bad? How lame is that? "Well, they're not really my friends anymore…" he restated. More tears fell as he said this, reaffirming a truth he doesn't want to face as he replayed the past memories of fun and friendship in his mind. It was so hard for the shy blond kid with crazy hair to build such bonds in school and it was shocking to him how fragile they turned out to be in the end. Don't they remember those memories themselves? Don't they care?
Sora was getting stabbed mentally seeing his boyfriend like this. The blond boy wasn't just his sweetheart but his best friend as well. He believed strongly that there's a reason why "friend" is in "boyfriend." And seeing this, Sora's heart ached with not pity, but with worry and soon the brunette was on the verge of tears himself. He blinked away those tears quickly however, in refusal of breaking down like his boyfriend, struggling to be strong. "W-why, what happened?"
Sora's bright, aquamarine eyes focused on Roxas, demanding an answer to the root of the problem. Roxas couldn't help but look away in shame, it was hard for the boy to tell someone how he really feels; he was so used to keeping everything to himself, in his own world. But Sora wasn't about to give up and a spirit of tenacity overwhelmed him.
"Roxas…listen to me. You can tell me anything. I won't judge you, just tell me slowly."
"I-I told them I'm gay," the blond boy states simply after sitting finally. Sora nodded, encouraging Roxas to elaborate more; he had to be the mature and listening one in this situation now. "And they seemed okay with it at first, but they soon got awkward and started ignoring me…especially the guys."
And then suddenly Sora charged himself onto his boyfriend's chest from the chair. Roxas taken aback looked down on the brunette mess that was hanging on to his waist in shock. "What was that for?" he exclaimed bewilderedly and soon the blond felt that his hoodie was wet. Glaring at his boyfriend in incredulity, the brunette then raised his head facing Roxas and started sobbing, himself.
"W-well if they don't like you, then screw them! W-who cares?"
The blond's own tears were actually drying by now and he just stared in surprise at the sudden attack and waterworks. It wasn't even Sora's own problem in the first place, but he just cared that much about his blond lover. "S-so don't beat yourself up…" Sora hiccupped. "A-and…don't you have me? What's so wrong about being gay?"
"It took a lot of courage to confess to you in the first place, you know? Do any of them got the balls to do it? To gamble and confess two things at once? I highly doubt that and they can suck mine!"
Roxas grinned all of the sudden, for the first time in a while, remembering that fateful day on his front door.
"A-and to cook for your lazy ass all day! It's mad tiring! Can they do that? And I also gotta clean your shit everyday and-" Sora's rant soon turned into muffling when a kiss suddenly invaded his mouth. Then the two boys closed their eyes, enjoying the taste of each other. Roxas messed with Sora's hair in the process, earning a moan from the latter. Sora just loved getting his hair massaged, sort of like a puppy.
"Thanks Sora, I feel a lot better now…" Roxas smiled after breaking off the kiss, his eyes regaining the cerulean soul that was lost after the incident. The two stared at the ceiling peacefully in a cuddle, adoring each other's presence. The messy and microscopic bedroom of Roxas seemed so cozy and the softy drumming of the rain seemed so peaceful all the sudden rather than annoying.
Sora rolled his eyes and chided, "Why do you think God sent me to be with you? To get your stupid over-reacting and emotional butt back on track from time to time!" The blond chuckled; Sora always knew how to break a moment of peace, with humor.
"I mean, I guess it's ok if they don't wanna be friends with me…and although it hurts at the moment, I now don't wanna be friends with them myself either…"
Sora nodded in agreement. "It may seem hard now but yeah, but you should let them go."
"But they might say I'm overreacting and being a sissy and stuff…"
"So be it. That'll prove that you made the right decision even more." The tanner boy continued, "And you'll make new friends during the new school year…I know that stuff's kinda hard for you, but I'm sure you'll get to it!"
Roxas cuddled Sora more tightly after hearing that, resting his head on the latter's collar-bone and closed his eyes, his soft hair tickling Sora a little. He was finally happily in peace after being tormented by so much negativity over the past few days. Everything seemed okay to him now, for once. The blond then simply whispered, "I love you, Sora."
"I-I love you too…"
"…but yo, get your ass up, the food's getting cold."
Oh dear God, I never thought I would do this, but there you go! My first story...and damn isn't it cheezy? I don't know, I tried my best since I'm usually good with essays rather than stories so this is a bit new to me. ESPECIALLY, the "romantic" parts. Oh dear god, I got absolutely no experience with that stuff so I hope I did okay... But there's always a first in everything, and this is it! I had some trouble with the publishing mechanics here too at one point LOL. Reviews will be nice (pleaseee) and I still sort of don't understand terms like AU, canon and other stuff...I'm such a noob lmao.
I don't know, I might take a look at this in a month and probably burn my computer because of how crappy/cheezy this is, but it seems ok to me atm. I did use some personal experiences in this and I sorta just wanna make myself feel better with this fic and of course contribute my limited writing skills to the SoRoku community. They truly belong together, like legit. One thing, I didn't wanna make them too girly, because that is falsely representative imo. No, guys who like guys aren't ALL girly and that's a fact. Hence the little cursing here and there by Sora and Roxas' messy room (something I am guilty of myself) LOL. Guys will be guys ;].
Please forgive my grammar, spelling, etc mistakes (I speak Brooklynese lmao)...Reviews will be nice once again...and hopefully this won't be my last story =]