Author's Note: So this one shot, unlike any of my other pieces of writing, is not actually for you as the readers. A few years ago today, I found out that one of my old writing companions had lost his battle to cancer. He and I used to write together during the days of roleplay on myspace and, while I no longer am an active participant in the roleplay community, I am still very fond of the people I met and the stories I was blessed to participate in. Today I decided to write this little piece as my final log in the Missy Masen chronicles. To say goodbye to a dear friend… and let him know he's still very much thought about and missed. If you take the time to read this, enjoy.
RIP Marshmellow. Love always, your Bunny.
Her long black cape shrouded her in darkness, whipping around her petite form as the storm rolled in. Every inch of her body tickled with power, her amber eyes lacking their normal enthusiasm and light. So many years had passed and while many had told her that time would heal her wounds, he still haunted her every moment. He lived within every beat of her heart.
The clearing was empty as it always was these days. She was the only one who braved the loneliness and the ghosts it harbored. His laughter reverberated in the silence, boisterous and filling. IF she closed her eyes she could see him standing proud and tall, all tan skin and dark eyes and beauty. She would never forget his childish charm and whimsy. She could see him sitting cross-legged in the mud, shaggy hair falling over his eyes as he prattled on about the new girl who had caught his attention; the girl who would become his wife before the end.
She traced a gloved hand over the trunk of the familiar tree, scarred by the moment that had changed her life forever. The moment he had saved her from the cold hands of death and given her something new to live for.
You're special, Bunny. A wave of grief ripped through her as his words echoed from her everlasting memories. In that moment, she was glad that she had chosen to go on alone, glad that she had run away from every possible happiness, glad that she would never let anyone hurt her like Forks had ever again. This pain belonged to him, just as her life would always belong to him. The pain would serve as a constant reminder that he had lived.
Composing herself, she dropped to her knees in the mud. It didn't matter that she had all but destroyed her favorite pair of faded jeans or that she could feel the chill deep in her bones… she felt closer to him here.
"Hello Seth." She whispered, slowly pulling her gloves from her lithe fingers. Her gift would not hurt anyone here… her agony had scared all of the living creatures away. "It's been awhile."
Her fingers danced across the soft grass, the wind blowing comfortingly around her. "It's been quite a few years… so you'll have to forgive me if this is a bit rusty." She chuckled lightly, brushing the tears from her eyes.
"Sarah's growing… she's huge and all she ever wants to do is rough house with Jake and the others. She's definitely got the puppy blood. You would be so amazed by her. She holds her own with all the boys."
She took a shuddering breath, brushing her bangs from her face. "Jake and I have finally reached an understanding. We talk sometimes like none of the horrible things we did to each other ever happened. We're friends. And while I don't think we'll ever be as close as we were before and we don't talk nearly as much as I would like, it's nice to know I have him in my corner again."
She sagged a bit under the weight of her sorrow. "Edward and I don't talk anymore. He burned too many bridges and he doesn't approve of my wandering. He's afraid I'll fall into the wrong crowd again but the truth is? I just miss Jane. Not having her in my life has left a hole I just don't know how to fix. I don't know where she went or what happened to her. But I still think of her every time I drive my car in heels. I'm drowning in a sea of regrets. The only person I've kept in contact with is Jake… and I just feel so empty."
She was sobbing now, borderline hysterics. "I even miss Emmett!" She laughed through her tears. "But everyone is gone now. Maybe if somebody still lived here I would come back to Forks with some semblance of permanency and not just to mourn my best friend."
Her head fell, her chin pressed against her chest as the rain began pouring down around her. "I miss you. I miss you so much. Why didn't you tell me you were sick? Why didn't you prepare me? You knew all about my illnesses but you didn't bother telling me about yours? And then you were just… gone." Everything ached. She remembered the cold that had settled over her when she had first learned of his death. She remembered how selfish she had been with their friendship. She remembered how much she had loved him and how he had challenged her to love herself.
Missy Masen rose to her feet, lifting her face to the sky and relishing in the feeling of the rain upon her alabaster skin. She thought about how much she had changed since her arrival. She thought about her days with the Volturi and how Aro had tricked her into reuniting with her brother. She thought about the part of her heart she had lost to Emmett and how Seth had gifted her the freedom from a marriage that would have slowly suffocated her. She thought about Jake and how her heart had been so full and how she had never felt more alive than when they welcomed their baby girl into the world.
She thought about Jane and Demetri and Bella and Sam. She thought about the divorce and how the entire community had ripped and disappeared slowly. And she thought about Seth. Seth, who had caused her enough trouble to last a million lifetimes. Seth, who had loved her too much and yet not enough. Seth, who had at one point been her very best friend. Seth, who had died too young and left too soon.
Slowly Missy made her way home, away from the past that still haunted her… would always haunt her.
"Wherever you are…" She whispered, pausing at the edge of the clearing. "I bet you're laughing at the mess I've gotten myself into and dancing in the rain with a bag of marshmellows." She took a deep breath before vanishing into the night. "Goodbye, Seth."
She would never regret it. Not a single moment.
Not Jane or Bella or Seth. Not Emmett or Sarah or Nessie. Not Sam or MindOverMatter. Not even Jake…. Neither Jake.
And she would do it all over again…
…In a heartbeat.
