Haircut
By: DMEX
Nadda is mine
Summary: After both Valentine twins go through the "lice problem" Mai takes Iima for a haircut, and Mai gets one as well. Then Iima does something shocking. Meanwhile, Mai blackmails Gohan relentlessly for having a "mermaid dream".
It's a typical morning at the Valentine apartment… Well, strangely enough, Iima was rolling around in bed as if she was having another one of her bizarre nightmares. But the gentle kiss of the sun woke her up.
Iima sat up in her usual Deadman-Style-esque way, but seemed unusually happy. She looked at the aquarium with a few angel fish in it longingly. Except she had that horrible feeling going on in her hair. The sort of feeling that something is making your head itch like crazy! Iima pulled at her hair, then grabbed a few strands and started biting it!
Mai happened to be coming out of the shower when she noticed her sister's unusual behavior.
"Iima, are you okay?" Mai asked as she unwrapped the towel on her head. Iima continued to pull and bite her hair. Mai knew something was wrong, but had an idea as to what it was.
"Lemme look at your scalp." Mai insisted. "uh-uh!" Iima refused in pain.
Mai: Iima, I need to look at it. You've been biting your hair and pulling at it.
Iima groaned at this, and tried to hold still as Mai examined her scalp. Mai saw something that spelt trouble! (If left untreated, that is.)
Mai: Sweetie, I have to take you to the doctor about this. This isn't good.
"NO SHOTS!" Iima yelled frightened. "Honey, no. I'm not going to have them do that. You have something that needs urgent medical attention." Mai said to her sister, trying not to even say what she has. Iima cringes. "And this time, don't strangle the nurse." Mai warned.
Both girls get dressed and Mai takes her to the family doctor.
-Domino Family Doctor-
The doctor examines Iima's scalp and he don't like what he sees. "How'd she this?" Mai asked. "Oh, it's going around. Everyone's been getting it." The doctor assured. "That's not good! For I all I know; I could have it!" Mai yelled as if she was about to lose it!
"I better examine you, as a precaution." the doctor said while pulling his mask on.
As he examined it, he saw the exact same thing.
The doctor sweat dropped, realizing Mai was going to blow a gasket. "I'm afraid both of you have lice." he confessed. Iima glared at him clueless.
"LICE?! NOBODY IN MY FAMILY WOULD HAVE SUCH FILTH!" Mai yelled very angry.
Doctor: Calm down. It it's current state the both you have it's completely harmless.
Mai: HARMLESS?! YOU WANNA TELL ME HOW THAT'S HARMLESS?!
Doctor: Both of you have them in their extremely premature egg stage. Just a simple wash with this shampoo will get em all out.
Iima: Egg?
"That's how their born, Iima." the doctor implied. "Chicken?" asked clueless. "Oh, no. Bugs lay eggs too, just like frogs, birds, chicken and of course fish." the doctor assured.
Iima: Us?
Doctor: Thankfully, no. But all women do-
Iima had the most embarrassed look on her face.
Mai: Don't fill her head up with those kind of images! That's a subject for another time!
The doctor fills the bathtub up with hot water. Iima had a really bad idea. "NO LOOKING!" Iima yelled embarrassed. Mai got her hair wet, "Iima, we're just washing our hair. That's the only way to get those bug eggs out."
Iima gulped but was a bit frightened. "Want me to help you?" Mai asked her frightened sister. After a good clean wash they were cured.
Doctor: I'd like you both to be more careful from now on. It might be a good idea to get Iima a haircut. It may be a lot easier to take care of.
Mai (thinking): I'd expect to hear that from Gohan. Speaking of-
(Meanwhile, at Orange Star High)
Gohan's cell phone blares Had Enough by Breaking Benjamin
He reaches for his cell, "Sorry, Videl. It's probably Mom. She's getting a suit for me."
(haughty laughter and garbled talk)
Gohan: GET OFF MY BACK ABOUT THAT! IF I WANNA BE BLACKMAILED, I MAY AS WELL ASK VIDEL TO DO THAT! JESUS CHRIST, MAI!
Gohan hangs up, very angry. "Lemme guess, you had the mermaid dream didn't you?" Videl asked. "DID NOT!" Gohan yells embarrassed. Videl snickers, "There's no shame in having the mermaid dream, Gohan. All high school girls and college girls have it at some point."
(back at Domino Family Doctor)
"I feel much better now." Mai said with a happy sigh.
Iima clutched her hair. "It's okay, Iima. It'll grow back."
Mai and Iima got into Mai's car. Iima clutched her hair and gently ran her fingers through it sadly. "You've never had a haircut?" Mai asked. "Uh-uh." Iima said.
Mai: Well that's not too bad. I'll take you to that barber shop I go to. It's a much nicer place than those horrible beauty shops. All those beauty shop jerks do is gossip and spread rumors and lies.
Iima bites her hair again.
"You'll feel a lot better after this. Besides, maybe this will keep you from biting your hair all the time, much less you won't play with it when you're preoccupied with something." Mai said as pulled into the barber shop.
-Henry's Barber Shop-
Iima went into that sitting kneel at glared at the sign with a very clueless look.
HENRY'S BARBER SHOPWE CATER TO COWARDS
Mai: Hurry Iima. I don't know how long the wait line will be.
Iima goes with her sister inside and surprisingly, it was empty (with the exception of Henry sweeping up some hair.)
Henry: Mai, glad to see you. Wait, there's two fo you now? Either my glasses are all dirty or I'm gettin' old.
"No, this is my twin sister, Iima." Mai said with a bit of a laugh. Iima hid behind her sister. "Say hello, Iima." Mai encouraged her twin. Iima cringed.
Henry: A first timer, eh? Well that's all right. I'm thinking a nice bowl cut will do it.
Mai: How do you figure?
Henry: You had one about two months ago. Told me Iima liked it.
"That's right. I did that." Mai said thoughtfully.
Iima pictured herself with that same bowl cut Mai had, for a few moments (her thought was in crayon drawing, by the way.) "Is that what you want? That same haircut I had two months ago?" Mai asked her sister. "Uh-huh." Iima said. "And you're okay with this? Once he starts cutting there's no going back." Mai asked. "Uh-huh." Iima said again.
Mai has her sit on the barber chair. As the barber sheet is put on her, Iima cringes a bit. Henry starts cutting with scissors.
Iima isn't too crazy about it, but thinking back to a few days, Iima noticed something rather unusual to her. She remembered Gohan has "a thing" for girls with short hair (though he'd never admit it.) Iima had found herself at peace knowing what she would do at Chi-Chi's for her next therapy session.
After what seemed to be a long ass time…
(cue blackout screen)
Henry: You're all done, Iima.
Iima: Open?
Henry: Open those eyes up.
(Iima slowly opens her eyes and sees the new her. Her hair looks just like Bulma's short cut from the Saiyaman Saga)
Mai was a bit taken aback by this. Iima looked so beautiful with her new look.
She took it so well. I was expecting a major fuss. Wonder what kept her quiet? Mai thought.
Iima got up and hugged her sister. You could hear her bones cracking.
Mai (pained): I love you, too; Iima. Your hugs hurt like hell, but I need you to let go of me.
Iima lets go. Mai pulls her hair back into a low ponytail. "Mai you want one, while you're still here? It's on me this time." Henry asked. "Sure, I needed one, anyway." Mai confessed.
Iima glared out the window happily. She waited, and waited and waited. Then she had the most confused look on her face. Where's Gohan? Why hasn't he come to her, yet? Doesn't he like girls with short hair?
Iima sat on the black leather chair and picked up a book (though she had it upside down.)
She tried to read it for a short time, but it didn't make sense. So she shut the book and waited at the window. Still, nothing. And just when Iima was about to cry…
"All done, Mai." Henry said at last, wiping the sweat off his face with his sweat rag. Iima quickly wiped the tear from her face.
(Mai has the same short cut Iima got)
Mai: Thanks Henry. Iima, why are you glaring at the window?
Iima: No reason.
Henry: Come back anytime, Mai.
"What do you say to him, Iima?" Mai asked her. "Thank you." Iima said, as if she was a small child. "You're welcome." Henry said.
(several hours later, Valentine apartment)
Mai fell asleep at some point with that book on her face. She sputtered and sat up. She didn't see her sister anywhere. "Where did that sister of mine go!" Mai huffed. She noticed the clock. 3:30. Mai thought: Iima must have went to therapy.
-Chi-Chi's House-
"Goten, did you happen to see Iima yet?" Chi-Chi asked her youngest son. "I think she followed Gohan and Videl into the woods." "THE WOODS!? THAT'S NOT GOOD AT ALL!" Chi-Chi panicked.
-The Woods-
Gohan's screaming in pain is heard
Videl: Come on, Gohan. It won't kill you to hug it out with her.
Gohan screamed in more agonizing pain. "You play with me." Iima said romantically. "THIS IS THE MOST PAINFUL HUG IMAGINABLE!" Gohan yelled. Videl tried to hold her laughter in. "GET HER OFF OF ME! SHE'S GONNA KILL ME!" Gohan yelled and begged in agonizing pain.
Videl bursts out laughing. "I've heard of taking it like a baby, but you bring a whole new meaning to it." Iima applied more pressure and glared at him THE MOST psychotic, evil, lovelorn look imaginable. Videl bursts into more laughter. Chi-Chi finally found them.
"GOHAN! WHO IS THAT?!" Chi-Chi barked at her son. "Your patient is hugging it out with Gohan. I mean, Gohan's taking it like a weenie." Videl said trying to hold her forced laughter. "Iima must have got a haircut. No wonder I almost didn't recognize her." Chi-Chi pointed out.
Gohan screamed in more pain.
Chi-Chi: Gohan, are you okay?
Gohan (pained): NO I'M NOT! HER HUGS HURT LIKE HELL! GET THIS CRAZY GIRL OFF OF ME BEFORE SHE KILLS ME!
Chi-Chi: Okay, Iima. I think Gohan's had quite enough loving. You can let go of him now.
Iima lip kissed him, then let him go. Gohan twitched in pain. "Gohan, you really shouldn't say that Iima's crazy. She's just misguided." Chi-Chi said as she gave Gohan a Senzu Bean.
If Videl blabs about this, I'll be the laughingstock on campus. Gohan thought.
Chi-Chi escorts Iima out of the woods. "What's wrong, Gohan? I thought you liked girls with short hair?" Videl asks as she walked away from him. Gohan sat up. "There's no shame in getting your ass kicked to a girl, especially a misguided one." Videl said, then bursts into laughter and ran out of the woods.
Gohan sighed heavily. "What did I do to deserve this?" Gohan asked himself.
END!