A study "in character". Forgive me, in advance…I couldn't resist. This fic is on something akin to crack.
A/N: This fic is rather old. I was going to wait until it was finished before I posted it, but I got half way through chappy 2 and then got to doing something else…XP So I figured I'd post it and see if anyone is interested in reading more before I spend more time on it. Otherwise I guess it could work as a one shot. No pairings yet…except maybe an implied Kaka/Iru XP I think it goes without saying that there is a little self inserting going on…but it is all in the spirit of fun! XD (We are practicing being vapid! XD)
This is unbeta-ed and probably has some mistakes so if you find any feel free to point them out
Disclaimer: I OWN NOTHING! I AM NOTHING! I AM A FIGMENT OF YOUR IMAGINATION! (Naruto is a very fun manga by the very excellent mangaka Masashi Kishimoto. He owns Naruto and all rights and whatever and what not and I don't. So there!)
Summary: Everything is always the same in the Narutoverse. That is, until Inner Sakura conceives of an evil plan. Will her plan succeed in getting her into Sasuke's pants? Or will the Narutoverse be plunged into chaos?
For the Love of Sasuke: Chapter 1: Lather, Rinse, Repeat
Sakura woke up normally, just like every day. She stood before her mirror and brushed her hair, just like every day. When she decided that her hair and face couldn't look any more perfect, she headed to the bridge in town to meet with her team, just like every day.
Stepping out the door, she proclaimed her daily goal, "Today will be the day that I will finally get Sasuke-kun to go out with me!" 'Shannaro!'
She couldn't wait to see her crush again today. She was certain that he would look just as adorable as he had been the day before, because he always had in the past. Every day, Sasuke looked adorable with his blue Uchiha fan shirt, and his white 'khaki' shorts, and his matching armband…things, and his leg wraps, and his standard issue blue sandals. Said sandals, by the way, looked so much better on Sasuke than they did on any other shinobi, though, she couldn't say why. Even the weapons pack that he strapped to his left ass cheek, and the shuriken holster that he strapped to his right thigh, they looked adorable too. Sakura couldn't help but drool at his adorableness. 'Sasuke-kun! Shannaro!'
OOOOOO
Sakura arrived at their meeting place, and everything happened just like it did every day.
"Good mooooorning Sakura-ch-yaaaaan!" Naruto looked cheerful and happy, like sunshine, and he had on that 'day glow' orange jump-suit…thing, again today. Sakura thought it looked stupid and wondered why he never changed it. She ignored him and shoved him out of her way, having better things to do than waste her time chatting with the village idiot.
Sasuke was resting his arms on the bridge rail, gazing down at the water with that brooding 'I'm cool' look on his face. Sakura couldn't help but coo at his cuteness. "Ohayo Sasuke-kun!"
Sasuke acknowledged her with a sideways glance and his trademark, "Hn," and then went back to ignoring her, just like everyday.
Sakura was getting tired of it. Was it too much to ask for a simple 'hey' or 'hello' or even a 'how's it going'? Just once? One time, one day, one tiny hint of recognition, that's all she wanted, but alas, no. Today was just like every other day.
Sakura settled in next to Sasuke and shot angry looks at Naruto, who was shooting angry looks at Sasuke, who was simply standing there, looking impassive, just like every day.
It continued like that for about three hours.
OOOOOO
Out of nowhere, there was a poof, and their cheerful sensei Kakashi appeared, "Yo!"
Just like every day, Sakura and Naruto pointed accusing fingers at their sensei and shouted in unison, "You're late!"
And again, just like every day, Kakashi lied about his whereabouts, "Ah! Well, you see, there was this…woman, and she was…and then I…and it was…I couldn't find my mask."
"Liar!" Sakura and Naruto shouted in reply. They knew he was lying. He had to be. He always lied, every day. There was never a day that he told them the truth, ever.
OOOOOO
Kakashi gave them a stupid mission today, just like he did every day. They never got good missions. It was always walking someone's dog, or finding someone's cat, or pulling weeds, or cleaning up trash, or surprisingly, babysitting.
Today their mission went just like it always had been in the past...
OOOOOO
Kakashi watched them while reading his perverted book, Icha Icha Paradise Volume III, which he always carried with him, and always read, every day. Occasionally, he covered his mouth, which was always covered by his mask, with his fingers, and blushed, under his mask, and giggle to himself, just like every day.
Sasuke performed the mission to the best of his ability, as he always tried to do, because that's how a ninja was supposed to do things, and he was a ninja now. Though, he was silently brooding about his brother, Itachi, whom he dreamed of killing. He wondered if Itachi had become as strong as he had become by performing such mediocre tasks. That upset him. He was certain that his elder brother had not acquired the height of their clan's power, and subsequently murdered every last one of them, by (insert random 'D' ranked mission here). Fortunately though, for Sasuke, he had one other thing that he could think about to take his mind off of his elder brother, the revival of his clan. Yes. He would revive his clan one day, and rub it in Itachi's face…after he killed him. He performed his mediocre task, in preparation, for that fateful day…just like he did every other day.
Sakura watched as Sasuke performed the mediocre task to the best of his ability, and in doing this, became totally distracted and did nothing, just like she always had in the past.
Naruto tried his best, but he got jealous that Sasuke was doing it better than him and tried to show off, thus, acted like an idiot, became clumsy, and nearly got himself killed. He ended up being saved by Sasuke, again, just like every day.
"Usuratonkachi." (?) Sasuke was annoyed that he had to save Naruto again today. He wondered why he always felt so compelled to risk his own life to ensure that safety of the clumsy idiot. He hated him, didn't he? He guessed it was all a part of getting stronger, so he could kill Itachi. Yes. He had to kill Itachi. He hated everything except the power needed to kill him. Naruto was no exception.
Sakura, of course, cheered for Sasuke, "SUGOI SASUKE-KUN! You're so cool!" which in turn pissed Naruto off, just like every day.
"Teme! I don't need your help-dattebayo!"
And for the rest of the day, team Kakashi continued to perform their mission, just like they did every other day.
OOOOOO
When the mission was complete and it was time to go home, Sakura decided to try her luck with Sasuke again. She put on her best fake smile and approached her beloved crush. "Sasuke-kun, um, would you like to go on a date with me?"
"No." Sasuke didn't even turn to face her. He just kept on walking. Just like every day. He couldn't be bothered with anything that didn't him getting stronger or plotting to murder his brother. It was nothing personal.
Naruto approached Sakura with his stupid grin and scratched at the back of his stupid head, just like he always did, every day. "I'll go on a date with you Sakura-chan!"
"No! Stupid!" Sakura was in a bad mood so she punched Naruto in his stupid face, just like she always did, every day.
And they all went home alone.
OOOOOO
That evening, standing before her mirror again, Sakura was upset. She didn't know what to do about the fact that Sasuke always ignored her and she was growing tired of trying.
All of a sudden, something happened that never happened before.
Her reflection spoke to her. "He's gay."
Sakura was afraid because she was certain that she hadn't said anything, but was also sure that she heard herself say 'He's gay'. "Wh-what?" Sakura gazed into her reflection and questioned her sanity.
"I said he's gay." Sure enough, her reflection had spoken to her. For some reason, she decided to reply to it.
"That can't be! He wants to revive his clan! And I want him to do it with me! Shannaro!"
"I have a plan that can make that happen. Shannaro," her reflection grinned back at her.
"A plan? What plan?" Anything was better than being perpetually rejected. Sakura thought it might be worth a try.
Her reflection's eyes narrowed, "Tell them all."
Sakura was still confused. "I don't…understand…"
"Tell them all he's gay!" Her reflection shouted, as if it was the most obvious answer in the world. "Make sure that he'll hear about it."
Sakura was shocked at herself. "I couldn't do that! That would be a lie because he's NOT gay!"
"That doesn't matter, shannaro, he's a man. Men don't like it when people think they're gay. If he isn't gay, he'll try to prove it, and if he is, at least we'll know the truth, and we can stop wasting our time! Shannaro!"
"I-I don't know…"
"Pay attention to Naruto."
"WHAT?"
"You heard me. Tomorrow, start paying attention to him instead of Sasuke."
"But he's so annoying and stupid!"
"He's Sasuke's rival. Sasuke won't like it if you suddenly ignore him and go on a date with Naruto. He will want to compete! Shannaro!"
"You really think so?"
"Sasuke is arrogant. He won't let Naruto beat him, no matter what. Starting tomorrow, pay attention to Naruto and ignore Sasuke. You'll see. We're right."
"I—I guess so…"
"Shannaro!"
Now that it was settled, Sakura went to sleep and dreamed of Sasuke. Just like every night.
OOOOOOOOOO
End for now…
OOOOOOOOOO
NEXT TIME: Sakura pays attention to Naruto and Sasuke can't figure out what's wrong!
So? Is it worth continuing to see how Sasuke's life can be thrown into chaos by my evil plotting? Or should I scrap it and move on to something else? Pairing suggestions are welcome, in the event that I do actually continue. This fic is supposed to be silly anyway so any pairing might work. Thanks for reading!