AN: I don't know why I'm writing this. Meh. It gives me something to do.
Disclaimer: I don't own FF:CC or anything else.
Day 29, Journal three:
I can't remember how long I've been up here. Hiding away. I can't remember my name… I can't even remember the date any more. My past is finally buried. I don't have to think about it any more. All I have to focus on is getting this project off the ground. I'm going to show Ronald tomorrow. I'm going to show him what I've been working on. Then, if he approves… I can finally destroy it.
Day 30, Journal three:
I left this room. The village is different to what I remember. It's so cheerful. Yet no one spoke to me, they only smiled as I walked past them. I have shown Ronald. He thinks I should continue with the project. My project… the proof that it is possible to destroy Miasma. I will do it. I will destroy it. The crystal, I will retrieve it and destroy Miasma. Ronald said I should find a companion. But it makes me wonder: If don't remember anyone in this village... will they remember me? If they don't know me why would they travel with me? But I also want to know; does anyone here remember my name? I'm different to them all. But I will find someone. Anyone. I'm going to destroy Miasma… but I can't do it on my own.
Day 31, Journal three:
I went searching throughout the village today. I had no luck however. But… I did find my name:
MaddieA few people said it to me. Then I took on it. When people asked who I was I replied with that name. How people knew of my name however, I am unsure. Some people said it was an odd name, and asked what tribe it came from. I could not answer them; for I do not know what tribe I am from myself. It is strange, that some people know more about me then I do myself. And yet, I don't feel a need to know more. Is there something wrong with me? Or is it just my mind, telling me not to dig up the past I tried so hard to forget.
Day 32, journal three:
Again, I searched for someone to accompany me. But this time, there was someone who seemed to have to same wish as me. She says that Miasma killed her brother, and she would destroy it, but had no way to figure out how. I told her of my idea. She agreed to help as long as her parents allowed her to go. She said her name was Kilika. She's a Selkie. I thought Selkie's only cared about themselves though. Why would she want to help everyone else if she's only supposed to care about herself? I'm going to ask her tomorrow. If she is allowed to travel with me, then I may be able to defeat Miasma after all.
Day 33, journal three:
I spoke to Kilika again today. She said she was allowed to travel. Her parents just want to meet me though. I meet them tomorrow. I don't think it's a good idea for them to meet me. I'm not the best person to be travelling with. I told Kilika that. She said it would be fine. But I don't believe that. How can I? I don't even know who I truly am.
I remembered something… something about my past. I don't know why but it happened. I remember what my mother looks like. I remember her name. She has brown hair, just past her shoulders. Her eyes are green, green like the grass. All I remember is her face. And her name… her name is Rebekah. A strange name. Tomorrow, after meeting Kilika's parents, I'm going to ask someone what tribe the name comes from. Maybe then I'll know who I am as well… but I still don't know if that is what I want.
Day 34, journal three:
Kilika's parents are kind. They didn't even care if I could answer the questions they asked me. They told me, that I would be successful. They say the reason for them believing this is that there has been no other theory like mine. And mine sounds the most likely to be true. We are to prepare a caravan. Kilika and I leave in five days. That's five days to get everything we need: food, water, weapons, armour, and a crystal chalice. We are to get the food from fishermen and the miller. The drink will be milk from the ranchers' cows. The weapons and armour are to come from both the blacksmiths and even the alchemists are helping us. It's amazing, everyone knows each other. They all help each other. I don't completely understand why though.
I did ask about my mothers' name. No one knew. It turns out no one even knew my mother herself. Does that mean that she went through the same things I do now? Or did she have a past easy to live with. I don't know. Nor do I care.
Day 35, journal three:
Five days including today… I can't believe it. I'm finally going to destroy Miasma… destroy it, or die trying to. We have food. Three caskets of fish and five loves of bread. I am unsure if that will be enough… or even too much. The food was given to us as a gift, they didn't even ask for money. That, I am grateful for. I would not have been able to pay if they had asked for money. I have none. And I do not wish to burden Kilika and her family with costs of supplies.
I remember something else. I remember that I have more than just a mother. I have a father, and two brothers. Their names, however still are beyond my reach. I don't want to remember, I don't want to dig up what I left behind. I don't remember why I left my past behind, but I do know I don't want it back.
Day 36, journal three:
Our "water" is taken care of now. The rancher didn't charge us for it. I find that amazing that we got it free of charge. People here just want to help each other. It's weird. I'm remembering more of my past as each day goes on. It seems that whenever I'm around Kilika I remember something else. I don't know why… but I wish it would stop.
I remember…I had friends. I've no memory of friends. I don't know their names or what they look like. But remember them being there that day. I don't exactly know what happened. But everyone but me that day, they died. It's horrible. That's most likely one of the reasons I didn't want to remember. I can't believe that happened. Even if I don't know what it was. It may link to the reason I want to destroy Miasma.
Day 37, journal three:
Three more days. Just three more. I don't know what tribe I'm from, so we found it hard to get a weapon for me. Kilika uses a Racquet. She made me try and use one. It was difficult, but easier then everything else. The blacksmith gave them to us. Kilika says I should practice using it, otherwise when the time comes to fight I won't stand a chance. I'm taking her advice on this one.
I remember what happened. That day when I was the only one to escape. The Crystal Chalice failed. Everyone was exposed to the miasma. Everyone but me, they died from the poison of the Miasma. Every single one of them. That's why I'm going to destroy it. A killer cannot live. Even if the killer isn't human, it must die. I will destroy Miasma.
Day 38, journal three:
We are almost prepared. We have food. We have drinks. We have weapons. We even have amour now. All we need is a Chalice. I hope that it doesn't fail, just like the one we had on that day did. I don't care if I die. I've decided that. But if Kilika dies… she does not need to, therefore she shouldn't. I'm not going to let her die. I know that. She said her brother died in an incident with miasma, her family couldn't deal with another loss. I remembered how long I'd been in that wretched room now. Two years. Two whole years of research on how to rid this world of Miasma. I can't believe I was that determined. Now it seems I have to carry out my duty. I have to destroy Miasma, or it would've been a life wasted. I will do this. Two more days. Two more days and we set off. Then who knows how long we'll be gone after that.
Day 39, journal three:
Tomorrow. There's not even a day left until we leave. We have everything prepared. I can fight with my racquet now to. It's strange, I have no doubts about what Kilika and I are about to attempt. Is it normal not to be scared? I don't know. Nor do I really care. I'm happy. After this the Miasma will kill no more. Not another life will be lost to its poison. That truley is something to be proud of.
So… what do you think? It's a miracle if you made it this far. I know it was horrible. But I'm bored. So please review.
And if I made any typos... please be forgiving. I suck at spelling.