Whatever follows . . .
By Wallace
Disclaimer: The characters and situations depicted herein are the intellectual property of Mutant Enemy and Joss Whedon, with the WB and UPN also having their own stakes. Personally, I feel the actors involved deserve most of the credit, but I've always tended to think about things the wrong way.
Authors Note: I was drunk. When I'm happy, I do nasty things to my characters. Anyhow, the Web is full of this type of vignette. Here's another viewpoint. Enjoy.
Whatever follows . . .
She's never been stupid enough to fall in love.
Sex is fun, people are easy. Faith knows who she is, and no-one else's opinion ever used to matter. She had no reason to accept them as equals, so the idea of accepting their viewpoint as worthwhile never even occurred to her.
There had been someone, for a while, once. She'd never addressed her Watcher by name; it would have been far too intimate. Theirs was a business relationship. Faith makes her own rules, she uses people as she sees fit, and she's never, ever been stupid enough to trust anyone.
'I don't know how man of them are down there, but I'm gonna find out. If you don't follow me, I might die.'
She'd stated it, told the other girl to her face. I trust you with my back. I need you at my back. And, for a brief time, she had got through. Her trust had been returned, fighting side by side. It almost seemed that it would work.
And then she fucked up, and panicked. Life was painful, the world was cruel; she knew these thing. Buffy didn't seem to begin to understand, for all she'd seen. She thought she was a special case; she didn't understand that everyone else had it just as hard. Everyone wanted the impossible, everyone lost hope.
And this was the secret. Understanding it had made Faith's life a whole lot easier. She knew she could beat anyone, because she knew they wanted to lose. Deep down inside, they'd already given up on perfection, already settled for second best. Or they'd found what they wanted, and had nothing left to fight for. Nobody really enjoys life, and no matter who they are and what they've done, it seems to them that whatever follows has to be better than this.
The boss is going to destroy the town and kill everyone who even knows she exists. However bad the now may be, it has to be better than that option.
She's had a hundred chances to kill Buffy, but she loves her too much to have taken them. And Buffy's the best chance the world has against the Mayor. And she loves him too much to betray him.
'Ready to cut loose?' She asks. There are so many possible responses, but only two that will mean anything. Which is it to be? She looks into Buffy's eyes, and sees something looking back. Buffy knows she's won. She can see the only thing Faith has left to hope for.
'Give us a kiss.'
Her punch hits Faith solidly on the jaw, half-turning her from the impact, and Faith can feel the hate behind it.
All she asked was love.
And now she knows she's going to die.
And she knows that, whether she wins or loses, whether Buffy kills the Mayor or the Mayor destroys Sunnydale, whatever follows has to be better than this.