Daria's Game of Divinity

I've been reading a lot of 'Loop' stories lately. Stories based around the idea from Groundhogs Day, the main characters live life over and over again. I decided to have some fun with it, and borrowed another concept which is readable below.

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When Daria opened her eyes, she found herself in a most peculiar room. Gazing in front of herself all Daria could see was white. There was no sign of a wall or a ceiling, and no sign that the whiteness ever ended.

Without looking, Daria knew she was dressed in white slacks and a colorless t-shirt, which had NOT been what she went to bed in. The only spot of color in the room, besides Daria's own skin, was the brown straight back chair on which she sat.

"Oh god, not again." Daria said out loud.

Suddenly the vastness was intruded on and a modern oak desk now sat in front of her. Behind the desk, on a chair identical to Daria's own, an elderly man dressed entirely in white sat. A white stick stuck out of his beardless mouth.

"Yes, again," The figure said.

"How did I die?" Daria asked. "I thought everything was going ok; for a completely screw-ball run at least."

The Old Man pulled the stick out of his mouth, revealing it to be a red lollipop. "You shouldn't have slept with that last man. The man had a wife . . . . The wife had a shotgun."

Daria shrugged. "Well I was trying to get into a crime of passion. I just wish he had been better in bed. How'd I score?"

The Old Man laughed and handed over a piece of paper that spontaneously appeared in his hand. "Well if you were setting out to get your lowest score ever you failed rather spectacularly."

Daria looked at the paper in shock. "What! I slept with every non-related male that showed even a hint of interest. I went out of my way to create as much havoc as I could."

"And in a lot of ways you did, but some of that havoc did bring issues to light that should have been fixed."

Daria read the page with great interest. "I got 500 points for sleeping with Mack? It broke Mack and Jodie up. Jodie never spoke to me again and her grades plummeted. Mack quit the football team and ran from me for the rest of high school."

The being across the desk nodded. "And after they got over it they both lead better lives. No offense to Michael, but he rolled over a little too easily for Jodie's well being. Instead of going full tilt and burning out at twenty-five Jodie takes it more easily and ends up happily married, not to mention America's first female African-American president. Mack left playing sports for sports therapy and was instrumental in finding a long term treatment for arthritis."

Still perusing the list Daria commented, "I can see how sleeping with Upchuck would provide points, but in light of Mack, why are they so low?"

"The new and confident Charles was a good thing," came the response, "but he missed out on his optimal match because he overlooked her. Normally she's almost a default; it's hard for you to make big enough changes to prevent their meeting."

Daria smiled, "I guess I managed it that time. Still, I wouldn't mind doing it again. With a little practice, he could be the best lover ever."

"Your family score was about the same." The Old Man continued as if the comment hadn't been made. "You weren't as close to your father, but you much closer to your mother. Your relationship with Quinn was a little mixed, but it only improved as things went on."

Daria shrugged, "She didn't appreciate me sleeping with her boyfriends until after college when she got engaged to that cheerleader. That was the first time I remember Quinn swinging that way."

"When your older sister steals all your boyfriends, uses them, and then throws them away you can be forgiven for becoming leery of boys in general. She did thank you during her handfasting however. So in the final evaluation, Nymphomaniac Daria wasn't your best run, but you did beat your average."

"Can I have another clean run like that one again?" Daria requested.

"Planning another special run?" The Old Man asked.

Daria laughed and then carefully adjusted her facial expression. "Yes, I spent a lifetime as the queen bitch, now I'm going to go the other way. Let's see how Daria the Cynic scores."