Chapter 1: April 1st
Disclaimer: I own nothing except my OC.
This is basically a light-hearted AU of my story 'Cabalis Nocturnum'. To be read separate and a relationship will be established in this one. It does not link to the plot of Cabalis Nocturnum as this is AU.
If MacRae wasn't researching cures for biological weapons in the Medical Lab with Rebecca, then he was usually in the central control room beneath the Victorian façade of the BSAA Headquarters in London.
"Oh dear" he said, reading the date that was on his tablet.
"What's up?" Piers asked, walking into the room with Finn.
"It's April 1st" he said and the two agents raised an eyebrow at him.
"And that's a problem, why?" Finn asked.
"In Raccoon City I used to do volunteer work at the Police Department where Chris and Jill worked as members of S.T.A.R.S and April the 1st is the date of which well known day?" he asked the two agents. Piers promptly blanched but Finn remained confused.
"April Fools Day. That a problem?" Finn asked.
"Do you honestly believe that every man in this very building is mature?" MacRae asked.
"You've both lost me" Finn said, looking exasperated. "Bear in mind I hadn't worked with you until Edonia" he said and then MacRae began his brief story.
"Chris is not as mature as you may think. In my days as a volunteer at the police station he and all of the other members, minus Wesker before he betrayed us, took part in the pranks. I found myself on the sidelines out of personal choice" he said but Finn looked lost.
"Yeah but that was years ago. The Captain is more mature now" he said and Piers scoffed.
"Oh Finn. Poor naïve little Finn" he said.
"I dread to ask. What happened?" the youngest asked.
"When we were all based in America a prank war would erupt in HQ on April 1st. It usually went on for days, one time it lasted two weeks and Chris was the victor" Piers told him.
"You ever get involved?" Finn asked.
"God no. Dignity is a valuable thing my friend" the sniper told him.
"What about you MacRae?" he asked.
"Self-preservation, whilst cowardly, is insanely the most valuable skill I have ever learnt out there in the field" he said. "I follow a policy of not pranking unless pranked" the new director said.
"So your not above getting involved?" Finn asked.
"Now where is the fun in that?" the Brit asked with a grin.
"Still, if Chris can wage a war for two weeks and win, what hope do we have if we're ever caught up in it?" the young Alpha asked.
"In those two weeks me and Piers became David Attenborough and we observed him. His large size can deceive anyone into thinking he's not stealthy. We can tell you now, he possesses a hidden grace that rivals Jill" MacRae explained.
"We have become the ultimate survivors against him. In fact, he seeks to prank us more than any of the others" Piers said.
"And by association, you have become a target" MacRae finished off.
"I thought you don't prank unless he pranks you?" Finn asked.
"We don't. We just anticipate it. He's not above pranking a director who he's known for years" the Brit explained.
"What's the scale of his pranks?" Finn asked, getting worried.
"Well it varies. What can you remember?" he asked Piers.
"The classic bucket of water on top of the door, spicing up the food of spice intolerant people. Oh and a personal favourite which gets me every time, the old stink bomb in the office. And he picks the nastiest bombs" Piers said with a grimace.
"I recall the traditional glue on your seat, making weapons fire bubbles and covering the doorway with see-through tape. Peeling yourself off of that one hurts and removes more than a few hairs" he said, a grimace of his own.
"Anywhere safe?" Finn asked.
"Medical labs" they said in unison.
"He wouldn't risk damaging the equipment that creates cures" Piers explained.
"And is there anyone else to watch out for?" was the youngest agent's final question.
"Jill was a master strategist and has the ability to lockpick which is why I keep a bolt on my door in events like this. I've discovered that Rebecca keeps more than a few laxatives on hand and has made people fall asleep in their food. Put the two of them together and then you have the dynamic duo. It is at that point when you want to back out of the war" MacRae said.
"Leon has a tendency to use old yet effective tricks. Once he held a pie out in front of me and then stepped on my foot" Piers said.
"And?" Finn asked.
"Well my natural reaction was to reach down and nurse my foot but instead I got a face full of pie. Whilst my face was in the pie he grabbed a second on shoved it down my back" he explained and the Brit burst out laughing.
"Pie day in the canteen has never been so funny. Pity it was on April Fools" he said, wiping a tear.
"Nothing compared to what he did to you" Piers retorted.
"Oh yeah, and what did he do to you?" Finn asked and the Brit grumbled.
"He prides himself on maintaining his silver hair for his young age. Needless to say, his shampoo was switched" Piers began.
"He put dye in it" Finn guessed.
"Fluorescent pink dye. What was once silver turned into pink. It wouldn't come out for weeks" the Brit grumbled.
"To take an old saying and change it. All that glitters is not silver" he said laughing.
"The moral of the story here, Finn, is that preparation is key to surviving April 1st" MacRae said, ignoring the chuckles still emanating from his partner.
"Teach me" Finn said.
"It's a good thing they were going to" he heard a deep voice say behind him and he turned.
"Captain Redfield" he said, giving a salute.
"At ease. Another member of the survivalist team I see, MacRae" the large man said, a grin on his face.
"You know the saying. Safety in numbers" the Brit replied, a small grin of his own.
"I look forward to the challenge" he began to walk away. "You have a meeting with the Director of the DSO later by the way. I won't prank you in that time" the Captain told him and something about the smirk made the Brit worry.
(Later)
"You want the DSO and BSAA to share this Headquarters?" he asked the Director.
"We both operate anti-bioterrorism units. We merely wish to transfer all English units to the HQ and two agents from America" the Director requested.
"We'd have to establish an area for them to work in but it's do-able. Who are the two agents?" he asked.
"Leon Kennedy and Helena Harper" was the reply.
All of a sudden the smirk that was plastered on Chris' face was explained, but by the time the DSO transfers arrived, the war would likely be over.
"I'll get on the paperwork" he said.
"Oh that won't be necessary. Captain Redfield filled it out when you were away for that mission in Italy" the Director said, before cutting the communication. MacRae mentally facepalmed, he had forgotten that in leaving Chris as acting Director of HQ, he was clear to approve what he thinks will be beneficial for the BSAA.
"Good news?" Finn asked as he and Piers returned.
"Leon is on his way" he said.
"What? How?" Piers asked.
"You remember that mission we took in Italy?" MacRae asked.
"Yeah?" Piers urged him on.
"I left Chris in charge of all operations here. He signed an official agreement with the Director of all operations involving the DSO. Our HQ will be sporting a British branch of this agency and Leon is one of the agents been transferred" he said and Piers blanched for the second time that day. "That's it" he said, fire in his eyes. "This means war" he stated.
(MacRae's Quarters)
MacRae was busy screwing on the bolt to his door after receiving a sweet but powerful threat to, as Jill had put it 'watch his back' whilst Piers sat on his bed and Finn sat at the Brits desk. He put the screw driver down.
"That should keep the demon lady out" he said, looking at his handy work.
"Defence is all well and good but we need a plan" Piers said, looking up from the table he was using.
"Meh, pissing her off does a good job" he said.
"How will this piss her off?" Finn asked.
"If she can't get in and prank me then she'll be miffed" the Brit explained.
"But wouldn't that make her want to get you back with something more worse in mind" the younger asked him.
"Jill's strategy relies on her entering a room to perform her prank. She will resort to the old shaving foam in the face trick, or she will draw on a persons face. We don't really look in the mirrors in the morning before breakfast" he said that last part a little sheepishly.
"You're talking from experience" Finn stated.
"We both are" the responded in unison.
"So what about us?" Finn asks.
"Oh that's easy. In times of war like this we stay in one room" MacRae said.
"How? These rooms are too small" Finn said.
The Victorian house which was built over the Headquarters served as a home to all of the operatives that worked for them. Despite the fact that the house was large the rooms were built small so that they had more rooms for other operatives.
"We share the bed" Piers told him nonchalantly.
"You share the bed?" Finn asked with a small blush.
"Yeah. Apparently I'm quite the cuddler" MacRae replied with a grin.
"You are. For someone who has seen the worst things in the world, you sure are gentle" the sniper said and the Brit smiled. "Trust me Finn, if ever you had to share a bed in the cold, this man would warm you up" he said.
"So your going to share the room?" Finn asked.
"We all are" MacRae said.
"What?" Finn asked, grabbing cotton swabs to clean his ears out just to make sure he had heard correctly.
"You heard Chris. Your inexperience makes you a prime target for both Jill and Chris. Trust me, you will be glad you did" the Brit said. There was a knock on the door and MacRae answered, seeing Chris holding an official looking package.
"Royal Mail dropped it off. Don't know what it is" he said, handing him the box, before heading off to deal with paperwork.
"Next time you sign an agreement, run it by me!" he called down to him.
"It was beneficial!" he answered simply. The Brit closed the door and sat down.
"What is it?" Piers asked.
"I haven't a clue. It's official" he said, looking at the package which said that it was addressed to 'Director Williams'. "Best open it, could be important" he said.
He opened the box and seeing the contents he blanched.
"Shit" was all he had time to say as brilliant launch mechanism, obviously designed by the built-in tech department, sent a large water balloon that was placed perfectly in the centre so it didn't go off after making contact with the sides.
"He left a note" Finn said, looking at a note that was by the door.
"What does it say?" MacRae ground out.
"You have three guesses" Finn said.
"'April Fools Day' or 'Haha!' or is it 'You gullible idiot'?" he asked.
"Try a combination of all three" he said and he heard a small growl come from the Brit. "In that exact order" he added on, handing the note to Piers, who immediately identified it.
"It's him. His handwriting is crap" he stated.
"Payback is going to be a bitch" he said.
(Outside Chris' Room)
Finn knocked on the door, knowing that the Captain would likely be in their whilst they had the time off due to the world been busy with the clean-up of last years events. The large man answered and looked at the agent with a small smile.
"Finn, can I help you?" he asked, stepping outside into the hallway, with enough room someone to slip in unnoticed.
"It's just regarding some paperwork I forgot to hand in" he said.
MacRae slipped into the room unnoticed, a pie which he ordered specifically from the bakery in his hands, and he hid right by the door frame whilst Finn kept on distracting him. He tapped the small headset and spoke quietly.
"Piers, I'm in" he said.
"Call him away?" the sniper asked.
"Do it" he said.
"Finn, I need you back in the central control room" Piers said over the headset in the youngest agents ear, and Finn turned to give him a small smile and a wave.
"I had best go. I'll get those reports in as soon as possible" he said, and the soft footsteps gave the director the signal that he was done. The door opened and he shoved his hand holding the pie right out in front of the Captain, tray and all, giving him the time he needed to make a fast getaway.
"That's what you get for the balloon you bastard!" he shouted, laughing down the hallway.
"MacRae, you little shit!" he yelled though amusement was in his voice.
"April Fools Day toss pot" he shouted, rounding the corner with grace and sprinting across the foyer of the house, earning confused glances from several other agents and a few amused ones as they realised the revenge that had just been enacted.
(Jills Room)
He knocked on the door and waited patiently for her to answer. She opened with a smile and let him into her home, making herself comfortable on the bed whilst he sat on the chair that was at her own personal desk.
"I heard you got pie'd" she said, not holding her laughter back.
"That's why I'm here. I want a truce" he said.
"A truce?" she asked.
"He's bolted his door so you can't get in" he explained and she smirked at him.
"He's smart" she said simply.
"But I can get you in" he said and she urged him on. "I know someone in the tech department who has a wicked pair of bolt cutters that should get you into that room quietly. Consider this as my own revenge and your prank" he offered her and she gave a large grin.
"I'm so in. Shaving foam or draw on the face?" she asked.
"Shaving foam on two of them" he said.
"Two of them?" she asked.
"I'll come in with you. I can get MacRae whilst you get Finn. He distracted me earlier so that our dear director could slip in with that pie" he said.
"Kill two birds in one stone" she summed up.
"Exactly. We attack tonight" Chris said, a grin on his face which was represented by his partner.
(MacRae's Room, Evening)
Finn closed the blinds whilst Piers pulled the curtains over them and MacRae secured the door with the lock and bolt. Lastly he rigged the little trap he had set up as well, thanks to help from his own friend in the tech department.
"This'll keep them out" he said.
"How'd you do it?" Piers asked.
"I put the shelf up myself using wood that was given to me by the guys down in tech. The bucket and string was provided by the cleaners and Rebecca respectively" he said. On the shelf, a bucket of water rested and a piece of string was attached to the handle of the bucket which trained down to the handle, allowing them to open the door and enter before soaking them.
"Did you anticipate this?" Finn asked.
"I figured that Chris' connection within tech and maintenance would give him access to bolt cutters" he explained. "Finn, you'll sleep between us. Chris is likely out to get revenge on you as well for giving me the opportunity to slip into his room. Not that he'll get past that trap. Even if he doesn't get soaked, the noise will wake us up" he said, shedding his shirt and issued trousers, leaving him in a tight pair of boxers, Piers doing the same.
"God help" Finn muttered to himself so that the others didn't hear him.
"I'm shattered" the Brit said.
"Me too" Piers said. The bed was pressed against the wall and MacRae called that side, stating that he could press against the wall so he can provide room. He was built but not massively so, been more lithe. He climbed in first, followed by Finn, who wore nothing but boxers and the Piers, the two of them pulling the quilts up so they rested just below the chestline.
"Good night, gents" he said.
"Night" the other two said in unison.
Half an hour later, MacRae was just barely awake when he felt the younger curl up against him, head nestled on his chest and he chuckled, sliding an arm beneath him and holding him close. Piers had shifted so that he was framing the young, an arm wrapped around his waist.
(Outside the Room)
Jill and Chris stepped quietly along the hallway, reaching the Brits room where she knelt and began to work on his lock, finding it different. She frowned a little bit, taking longer than usual with this one.
"He changed the locks after last year" she said.
"He's not stupid" Chris said. "We have to be careful" he said.
"I know. Last time a prank war occurred they stuck together, slept in the same bed. I alerted Piers when I tried to draw on MacRae's face" she said, the lock clicking.
"Well there's three of them now" he said.
"Talk about Ménage à trois" she said. "Bolt cutters" she said and he handed them to her.
"Do you think that they like each other?" he asked as she was cutting.
"What makes you ask that?" she asked, stopping to look at him. Might as well get this conversation out of the way.
"Well they're never away from each other, they don't mind sharing the bed and both MacRae and Piers have become extremely protective of Finn" he reasoned and now that she thought about it, she did see the Brit and sniper cuddling before Piers woke up.
"Finn did rise from the dead, Chris. And they were on the same team" she reasoned.
"Finn knows how to look after himself" he retorted.
"Still. MacRae has always been fiercely protective. Of all of us. When we became the butt of all of the jokes made back in the Police Department he always defended us. When all of the deaths were slandered, he protected their memory. He's always been like it" she said.
"And what about Piers?" he asked.
"He almost lost control of his body to the C-Virus. They share something in common. After he was brought to us cured Piers wanted to make sure that he kept his humanity and protects him as well" she said. "Besides, they do give him leeway in missions because they know he might be fell like he's been smothered" she said, returning to the door.
She cut the bolt as quietly as possible and with a triumphant smirk she opened the door, but as she did so, it felt heavy at one point.
"Crap" she said, hearing the fall of the bucket to late and soon found herself soaked by the Brits defence. Three bodies shot out of the bed, momentarily started before smirking at the now soaked master of unlocking.
"Late night swim Jill?" MacRae asked.
"More like trip beneath the waterfall" she said with a smirk. "You're learning" she said.
"Yes well better to have another line of defence. You owe me ten pounds for that bolt as well as a new lock" he pointed out.
"You'll have it" she said. One thing that he liked about Jill is that if she damaged something in the pursuit of a prank she'd pay it back. But the Brit never charged much if he was the one who spurred her on in the first place, and thus covered most of the cost himself.
"Can we call a parley for the night? It's late and I'm tired" he requested.
"We will" Chris said.
He liked Chris as well because in the pursuit of light-hearted revenge, he still had respect for others and if rest is what they needed, they'd be given it. The thing about the pranks that Jill do and the ones that he takes part in always have one rule. If they are woken then it's done, there's no trying again until the next day.
"Good night, guys" MacRae said.
"You as well. Sleep well young lover boys" Chris said and they all blushed a little bit.
Day one was over with two points to MacRae and his small team and one point to Chris with his little balloon prank. However it would worsen over the coming days for revenge was still sought after.