"Help me! Help me, please…"
A gasp.
The man lurches up from his bed, his pale chest heaving heavily with every breath. He clutches the sheets under him, drenched in a layer of cold sweat.
The cry echoes in his head; green eyes glancing down, closing for a moment, losing control of his breathing for a fleeting second. Stuttering. Shaking.
He tightens his hold on the sheets, a wave of nausea coming over him, a wave of regret.
He regrets.
His chest goes tight and his lungs seize up, all the air flying out with a chocked sob. He tries to breathe, his throat closes up, and he tries to breathe, gripping his neck, trying to calm down.
He regrets.
His head feels heavy and his body feels light (too light), he tries to breathe, tries to stop his heart beating too fast, too fast out of his chest.
He regrets.
He can hear the blood rushing, flowing past his ears. He clutches his head, willing for it to go, to leave, to stop.
He regrets and regrets and regrets—
"I'M SORRY!"
Chest heaving, heart beating. A silence settles.
He can breathe.
"I'm so sorry..."
-
It's thirteen minutes past four in the morning. An hour since he woke up (an hour since he heard the cry (since he had the dream, nightmare)). His face (still) feels wet, the tears blurring his vision. It's not like he can see anything in the (choking, silent, empty) darkness.
[You're still alone].
[You remember when you weren't].
[You remember when he slipped, falling, crying out to you— no, no, NO, NO].
[You can feel the tears trailing down your face
again].
The man looks to the nightstand beside the bed, a small plastic bottle discarded on it, the sleeping pills.
He reaches out to pick up the bottle and shakes out two small, white tablets from it. He quickly downs them, plenty used to taking them without water.
He slumps down on the bed quickly chucking the bottle back to the stand and ignores the sound of the pills scattering about.
His eye lids start to feel heavy a while later, a wave of sleep and the countless restless nights coming back to him at once.
Everything goes black a short moment later.
[You've broken so many promises].
You wish that you hadn't let go
loosened your grip.
Because
when you heard him cry as he watched you fall,
you felt your heart break
your heart stop.
"TRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICKSTE R!"
You regret it now.
but
you didn't want him to fall in your place
it was
it was better this way,
this is your fate.
You were and are the duplicate,
you always will be.
Never mind what he says,
you are a clone
no matter what they say
and
he will always pick the others over you.
It's better this way.
-[You two never feared death to begin with].
[You close your eyes and take a deep breath
you fall
you die].