Captain Kirk: Mama mia! We are surrounded by space seals!

Mr. Spock: agreed it is logical that they're cuteness is a trap!

Ok wait WHAT?! Space seals? The Starship Enterprise is surrounded by space seals?! What the heck is going on here?! And why is James T. Kirk acting out of character here? Find out in this ridiculous fan fic, chronicling the adventures of the Star Ship Enterprise of the Star Fleet!

MAMA MIA ! SPACE SEALS AND SEA LIONS?! Part I

An Exciting Fanfic in the Tradition of Gold Key Star Trek Comics!

Captain's Log Star Date 11:49.1 Star Fleet command has ordered us to report to the Alpha Omega Star System, home to the amazing multicolored frogs!

We join our heroes on the bridge of the Star Ship Enterprise the queen ship of the Star Fleet as they enter orbit around Alpha Omega V! Captain Kirk looks at the TV monitor* (by that I mean "viewscreen"- I'm trying to emulate the gold key Star Trek comics here!) and then glances at Spock.

Captain Kirk: Mr. Spock what do you think of rainbow multicolored space frogs?

Spock glances calmly at Kirk.

Mr. Spock: A biological rarity! Logically, frogs should have fewer colors!

And with that the intrepid star-rovers decide to head to the transporter room and beam down. The Away Team consists of Captain James T. Kirk, Lt.. Maia, Mr. Spock and Dr. McCoy. They head into the transporter room and beam down!

SFX: WRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.

A split second later they materialize on the surface! Lt. Maia notices the frogs! (Note: The exclamation points are inspired by Gold Key Star Trek Comics).

Lt. Maia: By the moons of Jupiter! They're really multi-rainbow colored!

Suddenly the frog begins to speak, catching the Star-Rovers off guard!

Frog: HEY YOU! Why do you comment on that. You shouldn't discriminate based on skin color! In fact I am a normal frog! Well normal by our local frog standards. Well, I for one rather like the sound of my croaking voice CROAK CROAK CROAK CROAK CROAK!

Dr. McCoy: Man, that's a chatty frog! He won't shut up!

Dr. McCoy comments on the annoying space-frog. on the other hand...

Mr. Spock: Captain Kirk, according to my calculations, the multi-colored rainbow space-frog can talk continously for 555.20 star hours!

Dr. McCoy is ready with a snappy retort!

Dr. McCoy: Mr. Spock I believe I just said that!

The frog-fatigued, yet brave Star-Rovers continue with their mission, cataloging plant life on the planet. Meanwhile on the queen ship of the Star Fleet some strange things are happening.

LOCATION: The bridge of the Star Ship Enterprise.

Lt. Amanda: Lt. Sulu! There are some oddities being picked up on the scanner!

Lt. Sulu walks over to the science-station and examines the screen of the scanner.

Lt. Sulu: This is an unusual phenomenon! The scanner is picking up seals! Mr. Scott! Materialize the Away Team aboard at once!

Mr. Scott's voice crackles over the intercom-net.

Mr. Scott: /Lt. the teleport chamber needs to cool-down! But, alright, if you can handle the heat!/

LATER...

LOCATION: TRANSPORTER ROOM...

The teleporter hums to life and the away team materializes abroad the Star Ship Enterprise, dripping with sweat, but otherwise in good health. Captain Kirk immediately heads to the bridge!

LOCATION: THE BRIDGE.

Captain Kirk takes a look at the science-scanner and then drops into his seat. He is ready with a plan!

Captain Kirk: Mr. Sulu! Head towards those seal-shaped disturbances at full rocket-speed!

The Enterprise lurches forward into full speed. Suddenly, the great Star Ship screams to a halt! It is surrounded!

Lt. Maia: BY THE RINGS OF SATURN! SPACE-SEALS! OH MY GOSH THEY ARE SO CUTE! LOOK AT HOW THEY FLOP ABOUT ON THEIR STUBBY FINS! AND THOSE WHISKERS! TOOO …. MUCH …. CUTENESS…!

As Lt. Maia swoons, overcome by the cuteness, Dr. McCoy steps in with smelling salts to revive her. In the meantime, the crew stops freezes in place, astounded at space-seals. Only Captain Kirk and Mr. Spock remain ready for action!

Captain Kirk: Mama mia! We are surrounded by space-seals! Too… much… cutene-

Mr. Spock interjects.

Mr. Spock: Agreed. It is logical that their cuteness is a trap! The Vulcan mind, however, is not swayed by cuteness.