Pairing: (Anti?) KuroFai

Title: Shades of Gray

Genre: Angst/Romance

Authors Notes: I'm getting over my breakup with a boyfriend, so I wrote this to let my feelings of angst and generally wanted to kick that bastard's ass into the next millennium. Stupid boy. Anyways, I also think that "Cold As You" is perfect for KuroFai. Yeah….

Disclaimer: I don't own Tsubasa or the song. CLAMP owns the manga and Taylor Swift owns the song.

You have a way of coming easily to me

And when you take, you take the very best of me

He danced into his life, digging under his skin like a parasite. He always made nuisance of himself, but Kurogane would have it no other way. Even though the mage was a constant pain in the ass, with all his lies and the ridiculous nicknames, He couldn't help but miss the annoyingness during the time Fai had vowed never to be close to the ninja again. It hurt him more than he would like to admit when Fai addressed him by his name, rather than something stupid like 'Kuro-wanwan' or' Kuro-rin'.

So I start a fight 'cause I need to feel something

You do what you want 'cause I'm not what you wanted

Kurogane warmed his way into his heart slowly, punching and kicking down the walls Fai had closed around himself. The mage knew that they shouldn't get close. The man was destined to be killed by him. They were polar opposites, pawns of enemies, not made for each other at all. That didn't matter though. He fell in love with the gruff man anyways.

When he refused to forgive Kurogane for saving him, Fai had picked at everything he could about the ninja, trying to push him away while trying to feel something other than the cold void inside of him, consuming his entire life. How was it fair that he fell in love with someone who could never return his affection? It was sick how that worked.

Oh what a shame

What a rainy ending

Given to a perfect day

Just walk away

Aint no use defending words that you will never say

And now that I'm sitting here thing it through

I've never been anywhere

Cold as you

Maybe they were both in denial. Perhaps they were never meant to be and that any love between the two wouldn't last. It didn't matter. They were in love. It meant nothing, though, if the two were two afraid to admit to themselves, much less each other.

You put up walls and paint them

All a shade of gray

And I stood there loving you

And wished them all away

Kurogane wanted nothing more than to help the man. How he could was a mystery since everything the man said was a lie. He couldn't believe any word the mage said. Not even the little hints he gave out, the ones that made the ninja wonder if Fai had felt something for him. It didn't made sense how he would lead Kurogane on and then disguise his affection with another mask of gray joy. It was idiotic, really.

And you come away with a great little story

Of a mess of a dreamer

Maybe one day, Kurogane would joke with his friends in Nihon about how he managed to make a complete stranger fall in love with him and how he crushed his heart when they finally went their separate ways. The thought of that stung Fai's heart, wrenching it this way and that. It was hard to think that when they finally reached his home world, Fai would never see Kurogane again. It hurt even worse that Kurogane didn't give a damn if he never saw him again.

With the nerve to adore you

Oh what a shame

What a rainy ending

Given to a perfect day

Just walk away

Aint no use defending words that you will never say

And now that I'm sitting here thing it through

I've never been anywhere

Cold as you

So here they were, at the end of what could have been a great love. Maybe if one of them had spoken up, they could have at least had something besides a bitter heartache to remember. Then again, maybe the other would have turned away, breaking the others heart, in the sake of saving their own. Even though, it would hurt just as much. It's sad to think that maybe, just maybe, they could have been happy for once, if they had just spoken up.

You never did give a damn thing honey

But I cried

Cried for you

Fai cried the night before they went their separate ways. He knew the ninja could hear every sob and gut-wrenching gasp for air. He didn't care. He hoped it hurt him as much as he was hurting right now.

And I know you wouldn't have told nobody

If I died

Died for you

Kurogane could hear the mage cry. He wanted to go to him, comfort him one last time, but what was the point? There wasn't one. The both of them would have to just suck it up and go down their own different paths, even if they led them farther away from one another. Kurogane might've died, sacrificed everything for Fai, but in the end, it wouldn't matter. Everything they shared, all of it, wouldn't matter in the end.

Oh what a shame

What a rainy ending

Given to a perfect day

Every smile you fake is so condescending

The mage was a cold man, with a frozen heart that could not be melted. Fai never showed him a real smile. Not once. And right now, as they muttered their last goodbyes, he couldn't care less.

Counting all the scars you've made

His unrequited love for Kurogane had cut Fai to the core, leaving a scar on his heart. He wished for some kind of parting display of intimacy, but he knew that it was a lost hope. The man was cold, with a steal heart that no arrow could penetrate. And as he whispered his goodbye, Fai knew he would never be the same, all thanks to some damned hypocrite who couldn't even express proper emotion even if he wanted to.

And now that I'm sitting here thinking it through

I've never been anywhere

Cold as you

"Stay here with me," Kurogane whispered, all his emotions laid out in his scarlet eyes. Fai shook his head, looking up at the ninja with tears brimming, threatening to escape.

"You know I can't. My loyalty is to Sakura-chan." Kurogane scowled. His hands curled into tight fists, shaking in unbridled fury.

"Come with us," Fai pleaded. The dark-haired man sighed and looked away from his would be lover.

"My loyalty is to Princess Tomoyo. Now that I'm back where I belong, there's no reason for me to leave."

Fai's throat tightened and he blinked away his tears, sorrow replaced with rage and fury. He wasn't enough of a reason for the ninja to accompany them on the rest of their journey? Apparently not. Fai turned away, and without a goodbye, he walked out of Kurogane's life.

Aww, wasn't that sad? It would be even sadder if you didn't review. 'Cause you know you want to!