To a dear friend of mine who loved this one to pieces so everybody hope you enjoy too!
Misstakes=all mine!
=)
Today I bought a can of soapbubbles, a small one with a cute cartoon cat on it. I shoved it in my backpack and ran towards my bike. I knew the perfect place to create small bubbles of air, I knew where the sun shone the brightest, I knew where the flowers reflected the most. I didn't knock when I got to your house. I threw my bike carelessly on the driveway and ran to your backyard with my backpack strapped on my back. Your mom loved flowers, she had every flower I've ever seen, growing into beautiful strong seas of colors—and even some I'd never seen before.
My favorite was the sunflower because it looked like the sun, and even when the sun wasn't out and shining all you could do was look at a sunflower and it would be. When I was younger, and you and I were playing in your backyard, I'd always get distracted, trying not to fall into your mom's flowers and ruin her own kind of playing. I understood how she liked to grow flowers, it was simple and yet so complex.
You couldn't see the work that was put into it, it all happened underneath but you saw the result of your simple caring, I always wanted to grow flowers back then because then I would be making something. I would be creating something, and I liked the thought of being in charge of something that was actually pretty hard. No one could say I never accomplished anything if I gave a bright colored flower life.
Your mom showed me once—how to plant a seed. I thought it was just shoving a seed down into the ground with your thumb, but your mom taught me it was much more than that and involved weeks, if not months of hard work. You scuffed when you called my name and I said I'll be right there because I was playing with your mom right now.
I was still so young, and the growing process fascinated me. Your mom gave me a handful of sunflower seeds a bright sunny day in the middle of April and I was eager to put them in the ground but your mom told me we had to think about where we wanted to plant them and I was perplexed, I didn't understand why it was so important where, whenever I rode my bike through my neighborhood a bunch of flowers where standing upright all over the place.
Look at the sun, your mom said and as soon as I did I regretted it, it stung my eyes and I shoved them closed. I heard a chuckle from your mom as I rubbed the back of my free hand against the lids that felt like they burned. It's coming from over there right?She questioned and pointed to the side of me, and I quickly nodded afraid to turn my head towards her finger.That's why we're gonna plant them right here, she said and patted the ground, so they can get all the sun they need to grow big and strong.
I looked at the ground and I asked her if I should put the seeds there, she shook her head and grabbed a tiny shovel and explained as she dug a straight line in front of her other tall flowers, that we're going to make sure that they grow the way we want them too.
I asked if I could spell Santana or Brittany with flowers, and she laughed and said it would take a lot more seeds than what I held in my hand but that it was possible. I wanted to spell your name, I knew you and your mom didn't get along very well so I figured if I made a connection to your mom's love—her garden and between you, it would make you guys sweet too each other again. You deserved her love, you deserved her love more than her garden did.
She explained that the soil had to be soft and rich in order to grow the best. We dug and put seeds in and patted and watered, I held my breath and closed my eyes when I put the seeds in, I thought about you, that this was for you, they're going to grow strong and beautiful just as you, just as you should be seen as to everyone else besides me because I already know you're as strong as beautiful. I had the best time with your mom then, but I couldn't help but wish it was you instead.
Your mom called out my name one day a while we were in your room and told me to come, and you came along and we were shoved outside by your mom's excited voice. What I saw then made my tummy twirl. The sunflowers stood strong and lean, the sun making them shine impossible more brighter. I grabbed your hand and we rushed to the flowers, scared to ruin them, I slowly raised my hand and touched the petals which fluttered as I drew my finger down the side of it. I knew your mom was standing beside us but it didn't bother me. I planted them for you, Santana,I said and the smile you gave me was the best thing that entire summer.
And as I ran through your thick bushes and walked into your backyard, I silently gasped. We haven't spent much time at all in your backyard in many years, and to say that it had grown to twice the size was an understatement. I walked on small pebbles that I could feel through my ballerina shoes through hundreds of flowers planted beside the small road of tiny stones. I held out my hands to graze the multiple flowers of purple, red, blue, yellow and white. I recognized some, but others I had no idea what they were or even if they were flowers since they seemed to have grown an entire family of colored petals.
I reached a crossroad where I stood still and looked towards the four roads that led to this point. It felt like I was surrounded by summer. The wind breezed through and I felt a rush of warmth spread throughout my body as I caught a whiff of so many different flowers. I breathed in deeply and closed my eyes, I could feel the sun warming my body and it felt incredible. It felt like something ignited in my body, like my senses came alive by the mere smell of something as precious and small as a few simple flowers.
I remembered your mom's car weren't in the driveway so I carelessly dropped my backpack on the stones and bent to get my soap-bubbles. As soon as I reached them I unscrewed the purple lid and dipped it a few times even though I knew it was full and took a deep breath and blew through the circle for as long as my lungs would allow. What came out was almost prettier than your mom's garden. Twenty or something bubbles flew out and coated the air with its different shapes and direction. Despite how beautiful it looked, I giggled, it looked funny the way they shaped themselves as the wind blew on.
Soon enough one popped and triggered a domino effect and quickly enough almost every bubble was popped, except for a few small ones that escaped along with the wind, traveling towards the edge of your roof. I quickly shoved the tiny almost wand looking thingy in the container again and dipped anxiously. Again I prepared myself with a long breath and held the circle almost directly on my mouth and blew.
A few bubbles instantly popped and not as many flew out, but the ones that did were bigger and slower in their movement. They looked so calm and peaceful, they travelled where they wanted, how they wanted in their short span of life. I reached out to touch the one closest to me, and before I let my hand reach it I circled it with my palm, pretending I could hold it, pretending I could hold air in a tiny shield of soap.
I felt almost powerful, like I'd created something great and impressive, but I knew I hadn't. But in my head I could touch air, I could hold it in my hand, and see my hand in the tiny mirror of the soap. It was quite a big bubble and all the colors in it passed by and circled itself, it looked like a rainbow blew by inside of it, like infinity existed in a such a tiny simple bubble. I blew carefully at it and it began making its way away from me, but before it got too far I pecked it with my finger and it popped onto my hand. I glanced quickly at my hand, turning it to see if any remnants of it could be seen, but it didn't.
I repeated the process of blowing another couple of bubbles a few times before I blew another bigger one. Before it released from its tiny wand it shaped like a boomerang causing another giggle from me. I felt the sun strike my back through the thin layer of cotton of my tank-top but I was too engrossed in the bubbles to care. This bubble though was different, the wind was still so it slowly ventured upwards and all I did was look at it.
The soap once again made the tiny rainbow appear on it, circling around in purple, blue, green, red and yellow. It looked so pretty, I shoved my eyes tight together trying to take a mental picture so I'd always remember it. But when I opened my eyes I saw your mom's entire garden reflect itself in it, and I wished I'd waited to take a mental picture because this was so much prettier. The bubble moved, it made circles of its own in the air almost like a lotto bowl of balls before you throw your ticket away when they say the last number you don't ever have.
The rainbow almost disappeared in the sea of your mom's beautiful flowers, it was like one whole picture of what could be defined as summer. The sun streaming down lighting up the bubble in its corner, the garden of endless colors that drew its own reflection of a tiny bubble of hot summer air, it was so beautiful. Soon enough that one popped too, and I briefly wondered how and why they just popped whenever they wanted too as I blew another fit of bubbles.
I jumped as I felt arms encircle my waist, making a few bubbles pop by my fast movement. You giggled yourself as you placed your head on my shoulder. I wondered how I didn't hear you coming, but as you said a slow, groggy Hi,I lost my train of thought. I could hear by your voice and your still deep breathing and slow movements you must have just woken up. You're always a cuddle monster in the mornings, it's one of the reasons we are usually late for school.
I tilted my head to place a quick kiss to your forehead as I greeted you. I felt you smile as you nuzzled in my neck inhaling before placing a kiss behind my ear. It tickled and I shifted a bit as I tried to ignore the sensation. You asked what I was doing here and instead of replying I blew another wave of bubbles to make them answer for me. You hummed and squeezed me tighter into your body and mumbled how beautiful it was. I giggled cause it sounded like you were asleep but you swatted my arm playfully when I accused you of falling asleep standing up. We stood there a while, me blowing bubbles and pointing out the shapes they formed before popping off into their full circleness into the air.
You laughed when my ideas were too extreme, like when I said one bubble looked like a hippopotamus before it flew of, you couldn't help but mock me for the never ending fantasy wheel that kept turning in my head. But I knew I made you open your eyes to what could be and what could exist instead of what plainly was.
You whispered into my ear you wanted to try, and I explained how it worked and that you had to be fast and blow really hard to make as many bubbles as possible, I saw your eyes stare at me from the corner of mine, and I knew you were rolling your eyes as you tried your best not to laugh at my description.
I dipped the tiny wand again into the tiny container and asked if you were ready and you placed a quick kiss on my ear and an involuntary shiver passed through before you asked if I was ready with a playful tone to it. Ready, go!I said and shoved it to your mouth and I felt your front press harder into my back as you drew a long breath and blew as hard as you could into the tiny hole just like I had said, but you blew too hard and only a splatter of soap came out, I knew you did it on purpose cause you snickered and said my description must have been off. I shook my head and explained to you that bubbles love me. You didn't pass up the opportunity to sneak in that the bubbles had to share because you loved me too.
Once again I let you try and this time you did it just like I knew you could. A gorgeous stream of bubbles fluttered out and even I was impressed by the amount the seeped out. It's really beautiful.You murmured and I teased you saying you only said that because you blew them. You buried your head at the base of my neck and giggled, I loved the feeling when you're nuzzled into my neck like that, it felt so cozy and even though I couldn't really see you, I felt you closer to me than if I could see all of you in front of me.
We stood there and blew a few more bubbles, taking turns and seeing who made the prettiest and the most of them. I won in the end but you said you let me win before you turned my head with your hand and placed a wet kiss on my mouth. I asked you if you knew why they pop whenever they wanted and you always have the answered and told me it was because they get too dry, the sun and the wind makes them pop, and I couldn't help but smile proudly at how educated you sounded even though it was about bubbles.
When we stood there after we'd competed for the bubble championship I blew some more bubbles and I saw two of them stuck together and I pointed to it before it blew of and said it was you and me, drifting and going further and further but always together. You hummed happily as you and I both followed its road up the sky. The instant it popped you laughed and playfully nudged me asking if we'd ever pop, I just said that when we pop, we'll at least pop together.
After a while you suddenly asked nervously if we'd make our own bubbles, and for a second I thought to say that that's what we've been doing before realization dawned on me, and I took in the nervous crack in your voice and the analogy we just made to the bubbles about us. I thought you would be scared and nervous about that question but the way you put it was bold, even though with the nervosity edged in it you basically just asked if we'd make our own babies one day.
The joy that spread through my body was overwhelming and I felt it stream out through my fingertips and I hope you could feel it through the tight way you were holding me, or through the pounding that suddenly increased in my chest. My eyes prickled with happy tears and I raised the little wand again and blew a sea of rainbow colored bubbles and exclaimed we'd make that many. I felt you fade into me and squeeze me tighter and smush your face at my neck again. Even though I couldn't see you I knew you were smiling your Cheshire cat grin and I knew you were just as happy as I felt. I wanted a future with you Santana, I really couldn't imagine any other future than you.
After that you led me through your mom's garden and told me what most of the names were, I thought you wouldn't know any names because I knew gardening wasn't your favorite activity, I asked you how you knew and you quickly said your mom gave you a book once. I smiled at you as you tried to avoid my gaze, you were embarrassed and I thought it was adorable. It's okay I think flowers are beautiful too, it doesn't make you any different.
You told me too wait around a hidden patch of bright blue daises and I glanced down at them, fighting the urge to pick one and play, she loves me, she loves me not. I knew you loved me so it would be a waste of a pretty flower. You quickly returned, a sneaky excited grin on your face and your hands between your back. I narrowed my eyes at you and asked what you had back there. You cleared your throat as you came to stand right in front of me, practically bouncing with excitement, you were so cute I could've hugged the living daylight out of you.
Before I choose to squish you with a bearhug you swiftly pulled up a bright red rose in front of my nose. I looked down at it and I heard you laugh I figured it was probably at my crossed eyed expression.
It's red rose, which means love, and only one means I love you. I felt everything inside of me melt at your sincere words. I've always been able to see if you lied or not even when I didn't want too and more than anything truth was written all over your face as you said those words. You waited for me to grab the rose and the second I did I forced my lips upon yours, I kissed you hard, trying to convey the exact same message you'd just said through no words at all. The moment you wrapped your hands around my neck I knew you got it, you always did.
You held my hand through a loose handclasp, playing with my fingers as you led me slowly through even more flowers, it felt like they were neverending, I knew your backyard was huge but this felt like neverland, huge and wonderful and constantly going on. I walked slightly behind you, sniffing my rose when you weren't looking. The sun hit your black curls that were slightly tussled from the night, you always kicked and moved a lot when you slept alone, it was like your body knew it had all the room it wanted to play with, because when you were with me you stayed right where I was seeking contact if lost through the haziness of your dreams. Once I asked why you had a bruise right where your hipbone was visible, you turned your head and mumbled you fell of the bed in the middle of the night, I couldn't help but laugh out loud but after a moment I said I'll have to sleep with you all the time and you replied that was the best solution because I always kept you grounded.
I realized we'd gone through most of the flowers when you weren't talking about them anymore but simply led me closer and closer to you as you walked backwards through the pebbles. Your hands twitched like you wanted them to be closer to me, touching me more, I was still holding my rose in one hand and I knew you wanted to throw it away so you could intertwine both our hands together but you knew I would never let you do that. That rose was among the sweetest spur of the moment things you've ever done, such a simple thing, yet it was things as simple as that that held the most meaning in my love to you.
As we walked a bit more I looked over your mom's impressive garden and I saw a familiar spot with some flower you'd introduced to me a while back where they also stood, but I knew that spot. The sun flowers I planted used to be there. I stopped in our tracks and on instinct your eyes followed my gaze.
They died a few years ago because they didn't get enough sun,you said and my tummy twirled a bit again at how you knew exactly what I was thinking. But it was soon replaced by disappointment, I wanted those flowers to stand there forever, kind of like I would have liked to have those two bubbles stuck together float away forever. Rationally I knew they couldn't live forever, but I'd hoped they would.
You noticed my mood change and said come here, as you grabbed my hand and walked me behind a tiny shed I knew your mother kept her gardening tools, the moment we stepped over a few patches of flowers behind the shed I drew in a quick breath. It wasn't a very big surface, only a few feet, but it was bigger than I was tall and wider than how tall you were. But it was covered with sunflowers. Oh my gosh, I whispered in awe, it was so gorgeous, the sunflowers were almost like one big huge patch of sun, the way they shone together, they way they moved together as the wind breezed by, it was breathtaking. You were positively beaming, I helped, you said proudly, bouncing on the heel of your feet.
You're so adorable I don't know how I got so lucky, you're the best person I know Santana. I tried to make her spell out an S or an B but she said we'd have to make them-, I didn't let you finish before I shoved you close to me and kissed you, I was speechless and the only way I knew you'd get how wonderful this was and how much I loved you for it was by making my lips do the talking directly in contact with yours. We pulled apart slowly, slightly out of breath, gazing lovingly at each other.
No flower can lift someone's spirit quite like a sunflower can huh,you mumbled happily, I just laughed before I hugged you into the bear hug I wanted to give you. They mean loyalty and happiness you know, it's kinda how I see us when I think about how other people might see us,you said, and I swear my heart skipped a beat as you said that, and I was convinced you felt it because just as it happened you kissed my neck and whispered into my ear how much you loved me in Spanish.
That was us, we were loyal and happy, and along with my beautiful rose we created the perfect floral couple. You couldn't have a good relationship and not be happy and you couldn't grow together without being loyal and you couldn't be so completely over the tops in love without it being true love. I knew that Santana, we had all that, we are all that, because remember we'll pop together with many of our tiny bubbles floating around us, because I realized you're the one that makes all my senses come alive.