Disclaimer: I do not own The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya. If I did then the endless eight would be four episodes shorter…actually just take the whole thing out…

The Otaku transformation of Yuki Nagato

It was a typical day in the S.O.S. Brigade clubroom. Needless to say, Ms. Asahina was serving me tea while wearing her oh, so kawaii maid costume, I was beating Koizumi at chess, and Nagato was in her corner reading a book. This scenery might make us seem like an ordinary club, but the fact that Nagato was an alien, Ms. Asahina was a time traveller, and Koizumi (who somehow beat me without his queen) is an esper clearly states the undeniable fact that the S.O.S. Brigade is not and never will be normal. Even if you don't believe in the supernatural, and you don't believe a single thing I say, one look at our nut job brigade chief will change your mind otherwise.

The door slammed open as if on cue. "Yoo-hoo!" Speak of the devil…

"Hey guys! Guess what I have in this bag?"

I didn't give it a second's thought. "Let me guess, an outfit for Ms. Asahina."

Hearing her name made Ms. Asahina squeal cutely, don't worry my angel! I Kyon will rescue you from the clutches of the evil dictator Haruhi Suzumiya!

A sound like lightning exploded in front me. I realised it was Haruhi's hand hitting the table.

"Kyon, stop your stupid mumbling, and listen to your brigade chief!"

I sighed. I was forced to hold back a witty retort. Why? Well, did I mention that Haruhi was some kind of god, and she could destroy the world or remake it on a whim? So yeah, I just kept my big mouth shut.

"U-Um, what's with the bag?" asked the frightened Ms. Asahina, as if she already knew what the answer was. Well, she was a time traveller; it wouldn't surprise me if she did.

Haruhi flashed a delighted smile, and it gave me goose bumps. Haruhi can be as annoying as hell, but seeing her smile like that always made me happy inside. I hate to admit it, but that's the truth.

"Well Mikuru~ why don't you look inside yourself?" asked Haruhi, but it was more like a demand. Poor Ms. Asahina, God speed! Or Haruhi speed?

Ms. Asahina seemed reluctant, but curiosity got the better of her. As she peered inside a look of terror spread all over her angelic face. "Eh? T-This is…"

I put a hand over my face. That can't be good. My eyes happened to fall upon Nagato who doesn't seem like she even cared. The book that she was reading was a romance. Huh, strange. She always read that Sci-fi stuff. Romance didn't seem to fit her.

I looked back to where Haruhi and Mikuru were. Ms. Asahina wasn't crying? Did that mean that she finally overcame her fear of cosplaying? Did this mean more moe goodness for yours truly? However my hopes soon faded away when I saw an eroge in Ms. Asahina's hands.

…

Huh, an eroge?

Haruhi must have caught the confused look in my eyes because she felt the need to explain why she had an adult game in her possession. Maybe she is more perverted than she claims? Maybe when she's alone, at night she plays these games and suddenly she get's the urge to…

…I felt my face go red. What was I just thinking?

"Kyon, what's with that perverted face? Wipe it off before I do."

Haruhi of all people was calling me perverted? Every day she practically molests Ms. Asahina, and makes her wear revealing outfits. Now she had brought a very suspicious eroge into our midst, and she dares accuse me of being perverted? I didn't say that aloud of course. What's the point of arguing with a god? In fact, what's the point of arguing with Haruhi? Even without powers she's a person you don't want to deal with.

Anyways, Haruhi explained that a 'friend' or hers just so happened to get caught playing adult games by their parents. Haruhi's 'friend' was about to throw all the games out because of the said parents demands, but seeing it as a waste, Haruhi 'borrowed' it instead. Now who else thinks that story is suspicious. Well certainly not the kiss ass esper in front of me.

"My, my, what a fortunate coincidence" spoke the said kiss ass esper.

"Exactly Koizumi, now we have all these 'fun' games!" exclaimed Haruhi. Wait did she just say 'all' meaning as in…

…before I could finish my sentence, Haruhi spilt the contents of her bag on the table. Dozens and dozens of eroge spilt out, until there was a mountain of games that innocent little kids should never own. I scanned the titles of these games. "I want to make love with little sister", "I want to make love with my best friend's sister", "I want to make love with my mom's sister" What's with all the imouto games? I thought about how Haruhi said that she liked my little sister, and that she was a 'sweetheart' unlike me. I shuddered at the thought. She couldn't. Could she? When I imagined a lolicon among the brigade I pictured Koizumi rather than Haruhi, I mean just look at him. I swear, one of these days we're going to find out if Itsuki Koizumi was either a pedophile, or if he's gay. The latter would make so much sense.

Among these titles, I found one that suited my taste. In the cover of the game was a brunette girl wearing a ponytail. Oh yeah, I think I'll take this one. Haruhi must have eyed me because she took the game away, and confiscated it. Damn you Haruhi! No fair! Seeing my discontent Haruhi tied her hair into a ponytail, shocking me as she did.

"Are you satisfied, seeing one in real life is better than the game, right?" muttered a flustered Haruhi. I just nodded, barely hiding the flush on my cheeks.

I found myself staring at Haruhi, so to avoid being more perverted than Haruhi claims I am, I shifted my gaze to Nagato who was looking at the mess of eroge in front of her.

"What are these?" Nagato said. Although she was asking out of curiosity, her face definitely didn't show it.

"They are um…well they are dating simulations. You select different routes, and if you play your cards right you can get the heroine, or the hero in the end of the game."

Nagato's eyes widened ever so slightly. I was probably the only one who could tell this, but I sensed childlike curiosity in those eyes. Although, there was nothing 'childlike' in those eroge, sigh.

"I want some" said Nagato out of the bloom.

I was surprised, but it was a happy surprise. Nagato never asked for anything, so I was more than happy to oblige.

"So which ones do you want?" I asked curiously. It's not every day Nagato would share her…'preferences' so I was more excited than I should be.

Nagato's yellow eyes scanned the mountain in front of her. Finally she rested her cool gaze on an eroge near the "I want to make love with my sister" pile.

I picked up the one Nagato was looking at, and showed it to her. "Is this the one that you wanted?"

Nagato paused for 2 seconds before nodding. "Yes, that is the one I desire."

Still smiling, I looked at the title.

…

…

…

"WHAT THE HELL NAGATO! THIS IS A FULL ON HOMO GAME!"

The whole clubroom was still, heck I bet the whole school was still. I shouted so loud I bet the folks from above heard me.

I looked at the reactions of my fellow brigade members. Mikuru was turning pale, and had a hand over her mouth. Koizumi wasn't sure if he should flash a fake smile, or look surprised so his lips turned into an awkward twitch. Haruhi was…well Haruhi, and finally…Nagato didn't even appear a little shocked at my exaggerated outburst.

"Can I have it?" asked Nagato so innocently that a person who just walked on wouldn't have ever guessed what the hell she was asking for.

I reluctantly give it to her, but I had to ask. "Um…Nagato, why…why do you want this certain game?"

Nagato looked down at the eroge in her hands, and then looked back at me.

"It's unique."

…

…

…

So in the next couple of weeks, the bookshelf that usually sheltered the literature club's books was now filled with various eroge…among some other things. I never thought I would miss the sight of Nagato holding a book. Now, she spends all her time with a laptop well, on her lap, playing eroge that I would never approve my little sister playing. (Mostly because of all the imouto stuff)

I didn't really mind Nagato's new hobby. After all that she has done for me I think she deserves a hobby she can enjoy. The only down part is the awkward noises, and sounds that came from her eroge. For example, one time Haruhi was explaining our strategy for beating the soccer club that she challenged, when all of the sudden we heard a loud erotic moan fill the room. We paused. "Mmmnnnnn…onee~chan!" We looked over at Nagato who was enjoying an incestuous scene.

She looked up at us. "This is exciting" she said matter of factly, and then averted her eyes once again at…whatever the hell she was doing.

To avoid any more awkward moments in the near future, we gave Nagato a pair of headphones in the shape of two bunnies, and I must say that they looked adorable on her.

"Moe, moe kyunn~!" Haruhi had squealed as she embraced Nagato from behind. Of course Haruhi accidently took a peek over Nagato's shoulder, the the screen, and left the alien alone with a blush on her face.

As time passed, I noticed various changes around Nagato. I don't know if it was because of the eroge, but every now and then she would give me this odd stare. When I glanced back at her she would avert her eyes to whatever she was doing. I noticed a slight blush on her face, but I assumed that was only my imagination so I just brushed it off.

It goes without saying that I was wrong, very wrong.

One day when the rest of the brigade had left I found that I was alone with Nagato. Strange, Nagato was usually the first to leave, actually we all waited until she finished her book…or I guess nowadays her eroge, then she would leave and then we would follow suit. Haruhi acted like no one could leave unless she said so, but I noticed how she only dismisses us, two seconds after Nagato's butt leaves her chair.

After a few moments of awkward silence, I took my school bag and headed for the door. I was almost out when an unexpected cry from Nagato stopped me on my tracks.

"Wait!" I stand there in shock. It's not often Nagato raises her monotone voice.

"Yes Nagato?" What could it be? Did her superiors contact her about some catastrophic event about to ensue? Perhaps she could feel the presence of a powerful new foe? Or, maybe the scariest of them all…Haruhi was pissed off?

"This…" she said pointing at the eroge, "I want you to do it."

I stared at her. What did she mean?

…

…

…

"HUH?" Once her words began to make sense it hit me like a bullet train. "N-Nagato…You mean you want to…re enact one of the…um…erotic scenes?"

Nagato nodded her head quickly, and I saw a light pink in her cheeks. So cute…

No! No no no no no! This is Nagato we are talking about! Defiling her innocent body is a crime I will never take part of! No matter how tempting or how much I want to…I am not desperate enough to take advantage of Nagato.

…

…

…

I found myself walking up to Nagato's room, and I was slightly nervous. I was so caught up in my thoughts that I didn't notice that I was just standing by her door way.

"We are here" said Nagato. I smiled weakly back at her.

I looked around her apartment. Nothing much really changed since the last time I visited. As usual there was a lot of room…there was only one table in the center of the living room…some futons in the guest room…Koizumi…

…wait, Koizumi? What the hell was he doing here?

"Hello Kyon" Itsuki said giving me one of his plastic smiles, "I didn't expect that you would be my partner, but I'm honoured nonetheless."

I stared at him, then at Nagato, then at the floor.

It all made sense now. The first eroge that Nagato ever played…the eroge that she found 'unique'…

…a full on homo game…that's Nagato's request…re-enact an erotic scene…from a full on homo game.

To make it worst… it's with Itsuki Koizumi

I sighed, what I'd do for Nagato…

Okay…so the ending wasn't really what I expected, but I hope it was entertaining anyway. This fic is a product of another boring night, Damn my boredom! Please review! I want to hear what you have to say!

Cheers!

-Mc kun