Steven loves this, and hates it at the same time. Perhaps he hates himself more. He looks awkwardly around, trying to catch a glimpse of his lover.
Lance pushes his head back down. "Sorry, you know I don't really like looking you in the eye when we fuck" he says, pretty much nonchalant about it.
Steven nods, resigned to not looking at Lance. He leans his forehead into the fluffy pillow.
I don't hate this, he tells himself. I enjoy this. I like it when Lance is like this, I like it when he dominates-
He gasps when Lance bites his neck.
"I don't like it when you are distracted" Lance growls.
Steven moans as Lance quickens the pace, roughly holding Steven's hips, possibly to help stabilize himself. He is way too rough, his nails dig into Steven's hips. Steven squirms. It borders on painful. Almost unbearable. Lance's nails are sharp. He can feel every nail. He holds tightly to the pillow, holding back tears.
One of Lance's hands makes its way up Stevens back, gripping his shoulder. "Yeah" he moans. "Oh fuck yeah."
Steven tries once more to look at Lance, and this time Lance doesn't object. Steven is surprised. Lance never lets him look at his face when they fuck. Ever. Perhaps it's because Lance just enjoys being detached. Perhaps he feels he doesn't have to work as hard to get Steven off. Maybe he just doesn't want to get too emotionally involved.
Steven knows that he is already in too deep. He loves Lance. He wants Lance to love him back the way he feels.
He finally feels Lance hit his prostate. Lance doesn't like indulging Steven in pleasure until Lance is pleasured. He is selfish. Steven loves him regardless. He can't help it. He wants love, and he has fallen in love. Even though he knows he has with the wrong person.
Steven doesn't even care about getting off anymore, he just wants this to be over. The negative thoughts inside eat him up.
Soon enough Lance's hand makes its way to Steven's cock, and Lance jerks him off in time to his thrusts.
Steven comes, but he hardly enjoys the climax.
Lance thrusts in once, twice, three more times before coming. He chuckles lowly to himself, lying next to Steven.
Steven lays on his side, looking away from Lance. He doesn't really want to look at him. It's always the same after they fuck. They never make love, and it's never just sex. It's always rough, always what Lance wants, always what will get Lance off.
He feels Lance's arm wrap around his waist, pulling him close. He sighs, not really wanting to bother with Lance.
Lance kisses his neck.
Steven wonders why Lance always seems to become so needy after they fuck. He hugs Steven possessively, his strong arms like a blanket. Steven usually falls asleep after fuck. He never wants to see Lance vulnerable. He is afraid to see Lance vulnerable.
Tonight Steven can't sleep. He can't slow his thoughts.
Lance seems to notice this. "Steven."
Steven doesn't reply. He can't bring himself to say anything.
"I… I love you Steven."
Steven frowns. He feels surprised hearing this for the first time from Lance's mouth. Lance never says anything like that. He rarely shows emotions.
"Steven… I know you're awake."
Steven rolls over to face Lance. He looks the taller man in the eyes. "Do you mean it?" he asks, searching Lance's eyes.
"Yes."
Steven smiles. "Thank you."
Lance pulls him in close. Steven feels Lance's heart beating. Maybe, just maybe, their relationship could change and become something much more beautiful.