Then it happened again.
It was a bright shiny day. The world seemed to be in colors beyond imagination. I was sitting in a car. It was small car, it felt more metal than anything else. It was almost like a mini-tank. There were two people in front of me; a man and a woman. I never saw their faces, but this was the "feeling" I received from them. They seemed familiar, but at the same time strangers. I am always afraid in this situation. I am always scared that something horrible is going to happen, when it begins. I am sitting behind the woman, who is in the passenger seat. The man is driving and him and the woman seem to be chanting something. The scenery appears to a forest next to a lake, but I have yet to see the lake- but I know it is coming. It always comes. I can't see the paint of the car, but I have a feeling it is either baby blue or yellow. There is no door in the backseat, and not much room to move. The window I gaze from is small, and it filthy with smudges and dirt. As we turn down a dirt road, we emerge from a forest landscape to one of a lake with a bridge. My heart begins to race. I start to plan. I know what happens next. I tell the people in front of me what to do, but they ignore me. I speak louder, and yet they still ignore me. I yell, scream, plead, beg- but nothing. I try to pull myself up from my seat to grab them, but I feel restrained either by fear or anxiety. We begin on the bridge and my heart sinks. I start to undone my seat belt. I start slamming feet against the woman's chair, but she seems not to care. I never look out the window when we are over the bridge. The bridge has no railing. All of sudden, I feel the car jerk and accelerate. I know it is beginning. The car takes off from the bridge into the air and floats slowly down into the water. I know when we hit the water- it will hurt. I know I need to get out. The man and woman seem not to be panicking, but simply at peace with what is happening. While time seems suspended as we descending I try to break small window to escape from the car, but I know it won't work. I cry. I sob. My chest is heaving and weezing and I attempt to plead with my companions. They ignore me, but once we hit the water- they open their doors and swim away. I am left trapped in a mini tank quickly filling up with water and descending to the depths of this lake. My heart is beating faster than I can think. I am gasping for air rapidly and it begins to make me more tired than calm. Sometimes I try to swim for it, but I always drown. Sometimes, I try to survive the crash and wait for the car to settle and then swim for it- but I never remember anything. All there is; is black.
Since I was 5, I have had this dream. It has always been accompanied by the fact that I knew what was going to happen before it did. The dream was always the same. As I laid in bed attempting to fall asleep, I would always know sleep and indefinitely the dream were coming to me when I would see my body spinning as if I was looking down upon it. I would awake and rush out of bed only to find my whole body sluggish and time seemed to be moving slower than usual.
I do not have a huge fear of water or bridges due to this dream. The only fear I maintain to this day is of heights and of failure. I am 22 years old and I have not had this dream since I was 12. It has been ten years, since I was forced to dream this nightmare- and yet I can recount all the details.
In my whole life nothing extraordinary has happened to me. I have attended university. I have lived life as I have seen fit. I have loved and lost. I have been betrayed and helped. I have been un-uniquely human. My only oddity being that I have decided to dedicate my entire life - or perhaps better said my future to my career. My career in becoming a Ancient History Professor mainly within the Classical Studies department. I have a fascination with Greece and Rome and with their languages.
My story begins with the last quarter of university. The summer before the fall started I had spent the summer studying with a group of student Ancient Greek. The professor , Professor Archon, had decided to aid the undergraduate and graduate students alike in retaining proficiency during the long summer months. I had not attend every week, but I made an honest effort and maintaining the work. The last three weeks I attended their was two curious gentleman who accompanied the group that I did not know. As the session of reading Plato's Apology continued- I deduced that they were graduate students. I had not the courage to speak to them, since I am cliché enough to be intimidated and shy easily.
At the end of the second meeting, one of the graduate students spoke to me. He looked up from his text and turned to and asked "Is that what you got?" I responded not with words, but with a dumb look upon my face, because I hadn't realized he has been speaking. I replied with "Pardon?" He looked at me and blushed. He then chuckled nervously. " Oh, I am sorry. I was translating in my head." I smiled, " It is not a issue, I do it all the time." After I said my sentence, our eyes met. This isn't the part where I say it was true love at sight, because it wasn't. I looked into his eyes and felt alone, cold, and wanting to constantly sigh. His eyes were striking. His eyes were a dark shade of brown that matched his hair and his eyebrows. His face looked odd, it was almost too perfect. This led me to the conclusion that he was European- or that at least his parents had been. He did not have an accent, but his face had a elegance to it that could only be described as French.
I was really nervous after that and attempted to speak to my peers to shake out the feeling of ice from my chest and arms. I kept glancing at him though, throughout the session. No one seemed to notice- except for his friend. Every time I looked over to get another glance of him- his friend was staring at me. He was glaring at me. I felt like I should be insulted by the look he was giving me, but I just ignored it. This was odd for me, since I am extremely and painfully shy. After the session, I was clearing my place as my peers left and I was confronted by the striking French man. "Excuse me?..." he seemed to be asking me my name. I responded promptly with a smile and courtesy "Brittany. And you?" I am Christopher." he said in a deep voice. I hadn't exactly noticed, but as I turned to fully face him after packing my books- he towered over me. He must have been 6 foot 2 maybe 3. I was only 5 foot 7. He seemed to have the cross between an athletic and scholarly body. Lean and fit, but not exactly muscular. It suited him, I thought. "I wanted to apologize for never following through with my question I asked you" he stated as my mind was trying to figure out how he walks through door ways. "Oh, no. There's nothing to apologize for. I know translating can be intense. Well, it is for me at least." I said as casually as I could. "Ah, yes. Well, Brittany where is your next destination?" he asked almost worrisome. I was somewhat hesitant to tell this man where I was going. He had this odd vibe that came with him that I didn't know if I wanted to endure. I thought that I better lie. "Oh, off to the library some books to check out, some things to print and then class." I said quickly. He peered at me as if to read my face for only a few seconds and then responded "Well, how about that me too. Would you like to walk together?" I was a little anxious, but proceeded forward with a forced "Sure."
As we were walking. There was a strange silence between us. It was comfortable and yet awkward at the same time. As he headed from our meeting place, I asked him if he was a Graduate student. He said he was. He was from Pennsylvania, but that he would in Riverside doing research with a history professor for the next 6 months. He asked if I was a graduate student, and I merely laughed replying that I was still an undergrad.
It was small talk, but it helped with the feeling and vibe he was casting upon me. When we reached the library- his friend was already waiting. It made me feel like a imposition. His friend was tall, but shorter than him. He was blonde with pale skin and ice blue eyes. He somewhat reminded me of a viking. I thought, well I bet his ancestors use to raid and pillage along the coast. Perhaps, he reminded me of an actor I had seen from The 13th Warrior film. Either way, his eyes were fixed upon us as if anger, bothered, and a little jealous. Then, it clicked. Oh my! I thought, I have intruded on a couples times. It made sense- all the angry glance during the translating session. I felt bad that I had made this impression. As we were approaching him. Christopher asked "Have you met my friend Eric?" My first thoughts were No and what do you mean by "friend?" But all that came out of my mouth was "Not formally." "ERIC!" he yelled as he made beckoning gesture. Eric stay as if made from stone, unmoved, unaltered, and unyeilding. Christopher looked at me and then at Eric and shook his head no. He then turned to me and said " Ah, I am real sorry Brittany, but I must go. Eric and I had some prior arrangements I must have forgotten" I turned to him observing the fact that he seemed to be apologetic, but it came off almost like acting. He seemed to sound more sympathetic and real in his voice, but his facade revealed nothing. I looked up to meet his eyes and said 'Sure not a problem, I am already here" as I ended with a smile. He simply nodded and headed over to Eric. I walked up the stairs to the library entrance only turning back once to see Eric and Christopher arguing and then Eric looking back at me. His glance landed on me as if I was his target to see and his eyes seemed to be darker than before and his glance struck my very being. In response, I tripped on the finally step falling to my knees and scuffing my elbows and jeans.
4 hours later
I was on the computer doing a research project for a journal I was interested in submitting to when I noticed Eric and Christopher exiting the elevator. They hadn't seen me, but seemed to still be bickering at one another. "Let's just fine the damn book and stop talking about this" Eric said somewhat noisily. I didn't want to leave my stuff, but curiousity got the better of me and I wanted to know what book they needed. So, I took my purse and pretended to be going for the bathroom and instead attempted to be following them. They were only one aisle away, when I heard Christopher say "I found it!" Eric rushed over. I stopped in my tracks and looked at the books around. One said " When God was a Woman" and I realized I was in a religious studies area of the library. I attempted to pretend to read this book as I listened to what they were saying. "Well that is one book, but there is one more." Eric said demandingly. Christopher replied " I know, Eric, I am not buffoon. Seriously, I would expect you to have more respect for me than that for all that we have been through" with a hint of hurt and sadness. " Well, respect is difficult to have for someone who constantly loses it" Eric refuted nonchalantly. "Are you still upset about this after with Brittany?" he asked in a perplexed tone. There was a slight pause. "What importance is it to me who you talk to and what you say?" he breathed out. " Well, then why the evil glares at her- Yes, I saw you during the session and from the walk." he said in a mocking voice. "She-" he sighed. "Nevermind" Christopher walked over to Eric and whispered "Eric, we have been together for years - what do you think that you can't tell?" I felt tension arise like a black wave from an abyss. It made the atmosphere feel dark and heavy. "She reminds me of Alexandria." he said barely audible. Christopher gasped a little and then walked away. Eric sighed and then he turned down the aisle I was in. I had not realized how close we were. He had been looking down at the floor before his eyes rose. His eyes met mine and I saw fire. Anger. Wrath. "What did you hear?" he demanded charging at me. I started backing away "What are you talking about?" He kept walking until I was flat against the wall and he was not even an apples width apart from me. His face in my face. "I will ask you again, What did you hear?" he demanded in a calmer tone. I said " I heard nothing, I was looking for a book." He looked at me. His eyes shifting with anger trying to study my face. He took his hands from his sides and put them on the wall I was resting against on either side of my head. He leaned over to my ear and whispered " I know you are lying" My heart began to race and I began breathing hard. I started to speak, but only air came out. I thought I heard nothing incriminating or bad, he must just be embarassed and have some anger issues. I wonder if Alexandria was someone that Christopher got too close to in the past or a sister figure. He back away from my ear and resumed to studying my face. "I.. of it" I stumbled to produce from my dry throat and mouth. His emotion and reactions seemed unchanged. I studied his face for a moment when without thinking I blurted "Who is Alexandria?" His eyes looked hopefully for a split second and then turn to anger. My eyes widen and I apologized "I am sorry- I didn't mean to intrude- I was just..I was just curious. Curiosity is my biggest downfall well besides my Ambition"I ended thinking I should try to make myself stop talking, because I know when I am nervous I babble. "What did you say?" he asked me sharply- his face seem to relax a bit. It almost sounded desperate "Um, I said Curiosity is my biggest downfall besides Ambition" He cut me off. "No not that... about babbling" "Oh I was just thinking- Wait! I didn't say that I thought it. How did you kn-" He cut me off again. His face drew nearer to mine. "Who are you?" he asked more perplexed than angry. He closed his eyes for a moment drew even closer. He seemed to be smelling me. As if an animal needing to understand another animal through scent. His nose grazed my nose and cheek for what seemed minutes, but what was probably seconds. Each touch sending a tingle of sensations down my spine and through my finger tips. I felt hypnotized and if in a trance of pure energy. By the time I opened my eyes and regained sensation of the real world. He wasn't there. There was no sign of him or Christopher. I went to next aisle to see if I could notice any dishelved books or missing one, but I could not.
Had I dreamt it? Had I imagined it all? Did it even happen?