Watch You Leave

Swinging open her locker door, Sara sighed and tried not to allow the exhaustion she felt show on her face. She'd never admit it to anyone but she was tired. It was hard enough to admit to herself. She was well known for her insomnia and her ability to work anywhere up to four straight shifts without going home to sleep.

But things had changed. Her body was changing and she suddenly found herself falling asleep at any given opportunity. It had been her first clue.

She placed her hand on her growing stomach and allowed a ghost of a smile to form on her face. She and Grissom had never talked about having children. She still wasn't sure it was something he wanted. But she knew with complete certainty that she wanted this baby. She had known from the moment the doctor had told her the results.

She had every intention of telling Grissom, she really did. But that same night he'd dropped the bombshell about his sabbatical and the words died on her lips. She was certain that if she told him he wouldn't go and she wouldn't do that to him. No matter how much she wanted to.

How can I just let you walk away
Just let you leave without a trace
When I stand here taking
Every breath with you

He needed the break. The whole team had noticed the changes in him over the past few months. His mood swings, his constant headaches. If he didn't take a break soon he would completely burn out.

You're the only one

Who really knew me at all

Reaching into her locker she placed her purse on the shelf and began to shrug out of her jacket. As she was hanging it in her locker, a voice from the doorway halted her actions.

"Hey. My cab's here."

How can you just walk away from me?

When all I can do is watch you leave.

She turned to greet him and quickly folded her jacket over her arm in front of her. To most people she wouldn't look any different. Three months and a half months wasn't quite enough time to be fully showing yet and the small bump that had begun to form could only been seen if someone were actually looking for it.

Cause we shared the laughter and the pain

And even shared the tears

But he was different. He knew every square inch of her body by heart. The last thing she wanted was for him to find out just as he was leaving.

You're the only one

Who really knew me at all

"So you're going?" She hadn't meant it to come out as a question. It had been weeks since he shared the news and they'd discussed it at length. But she wondered if some small part of her had refused to accept it until now.

"Yeah."

So take a look at me now

Cause there's just an empty space

What hurt the most was that they were parting during shift. She desperately wanted to hold him, to kiss him and tell him she loved him and couldn't wait until he got back. But there relationship was still unknown to anyone and saying a proper goodbye in the locker room was out of the question.

And there's nothing left her to remind me

Just the memory of your face

"I'll see you when you get back." She forced a smile as she said the words. She knew his leaving would be painful, even if it was only for four weeks. But nothing could have prepared her for the loneliness she was already beginning to feel.

So take a look at me now

There's just an empty space

She turned back to her locker so that he wouldn't see the tears building up in her eyes. She hoped he would just go. She didn't think she could take looking at him any longer without breaking. After a few seconds she turned back to the doorway, confused as to why she could still feel his presence.

And you coming back to me

Is against the odds

And that's what I've got to face

He had moved inside the room and was gazing at her with a pained expression. It almost soothed her slightly to know that the separation was hurting him just as much as it was her.

Eventually he spoke. "I'll miss you."

I wish I could just make you turn around

Turn around and see me cry.

There's so much I need to say to you.

So many reasons why

A voice inside her head screamed at her to say something. To tell him she'd miss him too. But she knew that if she even tried to reply, it would be her undoing. So instead she smiled slightly and nodded hoping that her eyes would convey the message her lips couldn't.

You're the only one

Who really knew me at all

After what seemed like an eternity he broke the gaze and turned, leaving the room hurriedly.

Sara could almost feel the distance growing between them. She told herself over and over it was only four weeks. He had assured her. So why did it feel like he was walking out of her life?

Although she could no longer see him, she knew the exact moment he exited the lab. Because it was the exact same moment that her heart shattered into a thousand pieces.

So take a look at me now

There's just an empty space

Her knees gave way and she sat heavily down on the wooden bench in front of her locker. Suddenly, all the feelings of hurt, anger and frustration burst to the surface and she slammed the metal door forcefully, resting her elbows on her knees and dropping her head into her hands.

There's nothing left here to remind me

Just the memory of your face

She wasn't sure how long she sat there. It could have been anywhere from a minute to an entire shift. She was suddenly brought back to reality by the feeling of another presence in the room. Keeping her head down she quickly tried to formulate an excuse for her behaviour as she felt the person take a seat beside her on the bench.

Once she was sure she had managed to compose herself she lifted her head and turned to face the person who had still made no effort to speak.

So take a look at me now

There's just an empty space

But as she looked up into a pair of knowing brown eyes, every ounce of composure left her body and she fell apart.

"He's gone Jim. He left me."

But to wait for you

Is all I can do

And that's what I've got to face.

Brass folded his arms around the woman he loved like a daughter and gently stroked her hair as she cried. "Hey baby doll ssshh! No one could possibly leave you. He'll be back. I'd bet my life on it."

Take a good look at me now

Cause I'll still be standing here

Her head told her that he was right. That it was only four weeks and he'd be back before she knew it. But there was a cold fear creeping into her heart that he wouldn't return. That he'd leave Vegas, and the lab, and her, behind and start a new life. She knew that if that happened it would kill her. But she also knew that it was a chance she'd have to take.

She'd wait for him. No question about it. She'd wait forever if she had to.

And you coming back to me

Is against all odds

That's the chance I've got to take.

Take a look a me now