Descent into Darkness
The hem of my heavily drenched cloak danced about my feet as I walked along, sloshing through the muddy puddles of water the rain created. I brushed a stray sandy-blonde hair from my face and I looked up to the night sky, raindrops cooling my flushed face. I sighed, exasperated. I had been walking for hours, and seemingly had gotten nowhere. My first mission as a Jedi Knight was on Naboo, fortunately, and I had completed it. Now, I was on my own mission: to find Padmé.
My official mission had taken me to the opposite side of the city of Theed than the side in which Padmé lived. After that mission was completed, I had a ways to travel to see her. I rejected several air taxis offering lifts because I had wanted to walk, stretch my legs, and be alone with my thoughts. That was before it had started to rain-but I didn't care much now, my mind was focused on one thing: her.
I thought about the past events that Padmé would be hearing about. I didn't need to tell her I was a Jedi Knight, my scraggly shoulder-length hair gave that away, but I could elaborate anyway. I could tell her of my mission, and how I got to be here, with her. I shook my head with a smile at my pompous thoughts. Maybe I didn't need to talk. Maybe I could just act. A sly smile crossed my face. Yes, I would act.
After about another hour of walking, I sighed contentedly as I pulled back my hood and came to a standstill in front of her door. Our door, I realized. There being no reason to knock, I shook the remaining water from my hair, quietly opened the door and stepped in.
I deeply inhaled the sweet scent of our house. The memories came in a rush: the meadow, her denial, her confession, our marriage, my leaving in haste. I can still taste the tears that had rested on my Padmé's lips as I kissed her goodbye-six months ago.
I walked as silently as I could, as it was late and I didn't want to wake her if she was asleep. I visited every room in the house, remembering everything before I had gone. Padmé had not changed anything. The house was exactly as it was as I had left it. I ran a hand over every dresser, every light, everything I could touch. I wanted to take it all in, remember its beauty forever. I finally came to the last room, our room. Padmé was sitting at her vanity, silently brushing her hair, stroke by stroke. I didn't walk in. I stood in the doorway, breathless, perplexed by her beauty. She seemed so.serene. And yet, sad. She stared into the mirror, judging her appearance as anyone might. As if she need be more beautiful, I thought. An involuntary smile came to my face. Apparently, my reflection became visible in the mirror, for she gasped, dropped her brush, immediately flew from her chair and embraced me in a tight hug. I hugged her back, just as tightly, kissing the top of her head.
"Oh, Anakin." Padmé looked up at me and smiled and buried me in her kiss, the first in half a year.it was good to be back. Padmé gently drew back and rested her head on my chest, her arms about my waist. I leaned my head on hers and we just stood there for what seemed like eternity. I lost myself in the sweetness of her dark hair, long and beautiful. I closed my eyes, never wanting to let go. I finally picked her up and carried her to the bed that was situated across the room. She laid her head on the pillow, facing me. She pulled the covers about us, and I propped my head on my arm. She reached over and tucked a piece of stray hair behind my ear and smiled. "I love you, Ani." I smiled back and leaned forward to kiss her. "I love you," I repeated. Padmé grinned and pulled the sheets over our heads. I willingly dove into that warm place in the Force I could only feel when she was with me, and she dove into me. * * * I straightened my tunic and ran my hand through my hair. I had been awake and dressed for at least an hour now and was getting impatient. I checked my appearance in the mirror for the hundredth time. At last, Padmé stirred. Finally. I sauntered over to the bed. "Good morning, love," I said. She smiled, and I took her hand and, despite all of the questions I was asked about where I was taking her, led her through the halls of the house, until we came outside, to the balustrade, overlooking the beautiful lake. "Remember this?" I asked. Padmé looked at me incredulously, stifling a yawn. "Of course I do," She gave me a confused look. "I have been living here for six months, without you. I think I know my own balcony when I see it." "No," I said. "This." I leaned forward and kissed her, and she did not pull away. "Now do you remember?" I asked with a sly smile. "Yes," came the breathless reply. I took her hand and looked out over the lake. "I love the water," I stated, almost wistfully. "I know you do," Padmé rested her head on my shoulder. I remembered all that had happened here about a year ago.I don't like sand. It's coarse, and rough, and irritating, and it gets everywhere.not like here. Here everything is soft.and smooth. I gently ran my hand down Padmé's soft, warm back. She looked up at me and smiled. She remembered, too. "Skywalker," a mechanical voice cracked through the air like a whip. I glanced down at my comlink and wanted to throw it across the lake, never to return. Seeing that would not be possible or fitting of a Jedi Knight, I closed my eyes, centered on my impatience and let it go. I reluctantly removed my arms from Padmé's waist and answered the annoying machine. "Skywalker here," I replied, exasperated. "What is it this time?" "The Jedi Council requests your presence," it explained. I groaned inwardly. "Now?" I asked incredulously, not wanting to leave--for obvious reasons. "Now, young Skywalker," the voice was curt. "But--" "Now." With no room for debate, I assured my caller that I would be there.now.and I turned to Padmé, her eyes full of sadness. "How long will you be?" she inquired.
I shrugged, hopeless. "It depends in what they ask of me," She leaned forward, threw her arms about my shoulders and looked deep into my eyes, tears flowing from her own. I kissed each of them away, bringing a smile to my beloved Padmé's face. "I won't be gone long, love, I promise." I kissed her one last time, and gently drew back from the comfort of her arms. She held my hand, refusing to let go. "Padmé, please," I urged, "I must go. You know this," I studied her face, wanting to remember its beauty forever. She feared for me, I could tell. "I'll be back. I love you." Her hand dropped to her side in defeat. I hugged her once more, assuring her of my return, and of my love. I pulled away so that she would not see the hot tears creating paths down my cheeks. * * * I sat in the musty space cruiser an hour later, after eating a quick lunch and waiting in line to get on this piece of junk. I lay back in my seat, awaiting departure, not really caring if it came. In truth, I really did not want to see the Council right now. I would probably be interrogated about my marriage, grilled because of it, and expelled from the Jedi Order, all for Padmé. I sighed a nervous sigh as I tried to sleep away the long voyage.
A moment later, a huge blast rocked the cruiser, and I could hear shouts of fear among the unceasing firing. The sun outside was red, the color of blood. I leapt from my seat, wanting to find what was wrong. I noticed that we were on the ground, and jumped out of the cruiser. Despite all the confusion, I noticed a slight figure holding a bundle in her arms. She turned and looked at me fleetingly and I was struck with frightening familiarity. Padmé. I ran to help her, but a hand on my shoulder stopped me fast. "Anakin." I whirled around to see a man I didn't know. "Sir, I must go!" "Anakin." Anakin.
Noooo!!!!!
I awoke with a start, sweat pouring down my face. I looked up to see the face of Obi-Wan Kenobi, and I calmed down. "Anakin," He said, "You had another nightmare, a wracking one at that. Anyway, you landed about 30 minutes ago, and the pilot repeatedly tried to wake you to get you off board, but I guess he only succeeded in making your nightmares more vivid!" I smiled at my former Master's characteristically dry humor. "Thanks for.I guess, waking me up," I said with a yawn. "I don't think I could stand any more of that nightmare, Master Obi-Wan." "No problem, kiddo." Obi-Wan and I walked the long distance to the Temple in silence. I was usually comfortable in silence, but not now. "Master?" I asked, not bothering to correct my use of the term 'Master', since I was a Knight and was no longer under his tutelage. "Yes, Anakin?" "I have something to tell you. Padmé'--Senator Amidala-and I have been married for six months." I stopped, not knowing how to go on. I didn't like to tell people about our marriage, especially Jedi. But I felt Obi-Wan had the right to know. He was practically my father. "I see." came the neutral response. "I had suspected as much." I didn't say anything. I had told him what he needed to know, and despite earlier claims, no longer wanted to talk. "I'm proud of you," He turned to me. "I am proud that you found something in your life worth living for." He sounded almost wishful, as if love was something elusive to him, something he couldn't touch, something just out of his reach. "Have you ever loved anyone, Master?" I asked hesitantly. He stopped walking and faced me. He inhaled deeply. "I did." "Tell me Master!" I pleaded, "Why didn't you ever tell me before?" Refusing to answer my question, he went on after taking another deep breath. "Her name was.Cerasi." It seemed as if saying the name pained him, for his voice faltered on the last syllable. "I met her on one of my missions with Qui-Gon. She had lived on the planet Melida/Daan, a war torn planet, her whole life. Melida/Daan broke out in frequent wars, you see, and we were sent to find a solution to their mess. We unexpectedly stumbled upon a group of teenagers and children known as the Young. They wanted peace, and fought for it. Cerasi was one of the leaders of this complex organization. I was only fifteen at the time, and became so obsessed with her cause. I fought alongside her, for her, and not for the Jedi. Qui-Gon didn't approve of my doings, but I believed they were right at the time." He spoke slowly and clearly, and I was hanging on his every word. "I grew to love Cerasi and she me. Our mission was completed, and Qui-Gon insisted we get back to Coruscant as soon as possible. I didn't go. I just couldn't. I betrayed Qui-Gon's trust then, and left the Jedi Order. Then," his voice faltered again, "one day we went into battle, and.." he took another deep breath, "she was killed. I had not seen the sniper on top of the roof that had killed her because I was not being observant, as a Jedi should always be. I had nothing more to live for. I had left the Jedi Order, and they would never take me back. They proved me wrong and let me continue to be a Jedi, but regaining Qui-Gon's trust took awhile. You see, Padawan, things aren't always as you want them to be."
I stood there, perplexed. Not only was it unusual for Obi-Wan to say so much at one time, to me of all people, but he had left the Jedi Order! I never thought Obi-Wan could do such a thing. I realized that, even though I was no longer his Padawan, (even if he occasionally still called me 'Padawan') he would always be my Master, almost father. I smiled, and he embraced me, then held me at arm's length, as if to size me up. "Just be careful, Anakin," he warned. "I don't want you to get hurt. You know how much I.well you know. Just be careful!" he said with a smile. "I love you too, Master!" I said, laughing, and he tousled my hair. I grinned. "That's just like you. Always saying what I can't get up the courage to," We finally reached the door to the Council chamber. Obi-Wan signaled that we had arrived, and the doors slid open noiselessly. I took my place beside Obi-Wan and faced the Council. "Anakin, Obi-Wan," The commanding voice of Mace Windu pierced the air, as usual, Mace didn't spend time on preliminaries. "As you know, there are not enough soldiers to fight for Coruscant. The Senate has requested that we recruit Jedi as generals for the Army. You two were the first I wanted to inform. Obi-Wan, you will be posted as General Kenobi in the fighter pilot division. You will need to guide these amateurs and teach them to maneuver properly in the air. Anakin," he turned to me. I didn't want to hear my fate, "you will be posted on the front lines." Front lines? A lump formed in my throat. He motioned to both of us."You will not need your lightsabers, but you can take it with you. A blaster or two would be more appropriate." Obi-Wan and I nodded, not questioning Master Windu's decisions. We were dismissed. The door to the room outside the temple opened noiselessly, and I walked out, shaking. Me? The front lines? Was Master Windu sure of what he said? Shouldn't I be the one in the fighter plane? Not that I want Obi-Wan in more danger but.he's more experienced! Why me? I stopped, trembling, in mid-stride, refusing to go further down the hall, as if it would change they way my destiny would be played out. "Anakin," a calm voice behind me drowned out my thoughts. "It'll be okay." I turned to see Obi-Wan, "But Master, I." "Anakin, don't fear. Fear is the path to the dark side, remember?" He arched an eyebrow at my apparent lack of Jedi poise. I closed my eyes obediently and centered on my fear, and then let it drain from my shaking body. "Well done." I stopped shaking. "Master," I finally asked. "Should I have told the Council of my marriage? I meant to, and.I feel I've betrayed them, not informing them." I thought it over. "I guess I already have, though, right? I mean, I'm married for sith's sake!" Obi-Wan grinned. "You told me," he said, "don't forget that," "I know." "Are you hungry? We could go see Dex and get a little something to eat," Obi-Wan offered. "No," I said defiantly as my stomach gave a loud urrp. Obi-Wan laughed. "Sure you're not! Come on," he said. I smiled as we walked in to Dex's Diner. I was greeted with the smell of hot food, and I immediately became ravenous. We placed our orders for some lunch and then sat down at a small booth by a window. Our food finally came, and we ate like shaaks. We had a good time, talking and laughing. When it finally came time to leave, I told Obi-Wan I would like to walk around for a while instead of going back to the Temple. He nodded and said he had to get back to the Temple to help Yoda with some Jedi initiates. So we parted ways, but not without another tousling of the hair and a fatherly warning to be careful. I started down the walkway ahead of me. What would I tell Padmé? She would be worried if she knew I was going to fight on the front lines, and I didn't want to cause her grief. But, she had a right to know.. I came to a bench and sat down. Just then, my comlink beeped. "Skywalker," came a feminine voice. Padmé. "Skywalker here," I said, trying to sound official, but my excitement bubbled over. "I've missed you, Padmé!" "I've missed you, too, Ani, but I have news." she stopped, as if to taunt me. Her voice was soft and tender. "What kind of news?" I asked anxiously. "Oh." she said congenially, "only something about.. hmmm..let's see," I didn't say anything. I let her taunt me.she would tell me, I knew. "Only that you're going to be a father." I jumped from my seat on the bench in joy, incredulous. "When?" I asked as my breath fleetingly left me. "You'll see." "Oh, Padmé."I smiled. I loved her so much--which brought me to my news. "Padmé," I said hesitantly. "What, Ani?" I sighed. This was going to be tough. "I've-I've been posted to fight on the front lines. The Senate requested that Jedi help fight in the war." ".oh, Ani.." "I--I'll be fine! Don't worry about me! You just take care of yourself.and our little--" "Girl," she finished. "Girl," I repeated. "Take care of her," I pleaded. "I will," she promised. "I love you, Anakin." "I love you, too Padmé. I must go," I ended the communication so that I would not have to see her cry; I knew she would. I walked along, wandering aimlessly, until I reached the Jedi Temple. I went up to my quarters and sat on my sleep couch. I would have to fight tomorrow, and wished this day would never end. * * *
The hem of my heavily drenched cloak danced about my feet as I walked along, sloshing through the muddy puddles of water the rain created. I brushed a stray sandy-blonde hair from my face and I looked up to the night sky, raindrops cooling my flushed face. I sighed, exasperated. I had been walking for hours, and seemingly had gotten nowhere. My first mission as a Jedi Knight was on Naboo, fortunately, and I had completed it. Now, I was on my own mission: to find Padmé.
My official mission had taken me to the opposite side of the city of Theed than the side in which Padmé lived. After that mission was completed, I had a ways to travel to see her. I rejected several air taxis offering lifts because I had wanted to walk, stretch my legs, and be alone with my thoughts. That was before it had started to rain-but I didn't care much now, my mind was focused on one thing: her.
I thought about the past events that Padmé would be hearing about. I didn't need to tell her I was a Jedi Knight, my scraggly shoulder-length hair gave that away, but I could elaborate anyway. I could tell her of my mission, and how I got to be here, with her. I shook my head with a smile at my pompous thoughts. Maybe I didn't need to talk. Maybe I could just act. A sly smile crossed my face. Yes, I would act.
After about another hour of walking, I sighed contentedly as I pulled back my hood and came to a standstill in front of her door. Our door, I realized. There being no reason to knock, I shook the remaining water from my hair, quietly opened the door and stepped in.
I deeply inhaled the sweet scent of our house. The memories came in a rush: the meadow, her denial, her confession, our marriage, my leaving in haste. I can still taste the tears that had rested on my Padmé's lips as I kissed her goodbye-six months ago.
I walked as silently as I could, as it was late and I didn't want to wake her if she was asleep. I visited every room in the house, remembering everything before I had gone. Padmé had not changed anything. The house was exactly as it was as I had left it. I ran a hand over every dresser, every light, everything I could touch. I wanted to take it all in, remember its beauty forever. I finally came to the last room, our room. Padmé was sitting at her vanity, silently brushing her hair, stroke by stroke. I didn't walk in. I stood in the doorway, breathless, perplexed by her beauty. She seemed so.serene. And yet, sad. She stared into the mirror, judging her appearance as anyone might. As if she need be more beautiful, I thought. An involuntary smile came to my face. Apparently, my reflection became visible in the mirror, for she gasped, dropped her brush, immediately flew from her chair and embraced me in a tight hug. I hugged her back, just as tightly, kissing the top of her head.
"Oh, Anakin." Padmé looked up at me and smiled and buried me in her kiss, the first in half a year.it was good to be back. Padmé gently drew back and rested her head on my chest, her arms about my waist. I leaned my head on hers and we just stood there for what seemed like eternity. I lost myself in the sweetness of her dark hair, long and beautiful. I closed my eyes, never wanting to let go. I finally picked her up and carried her to the bed that was situated across the room. She laid her head on the pillow, facing me. She pulled the covers about us, and I propped my head on my arm. She reached over and tucked a piece of stray hair behind my ear and smiled. "I love you, Ani." I smiled back and leaned forward to kiss her. "I love you," I repeated. Padmé grinned and pulled the sheets over our heads. I willingly dove into that warm place in the Force I could only feel when she was with me, and she dove into me. * * * I straightened my tunic and ran my hand through my hair. I had been awake and dressed for at least an hour now and was getting impatient. I checked my appearance in the mirror for the hundredth time. At last, Padmé stirred. Finally. I sauntered over to the bed. "Good morning, love," I said. She smiled, and I took her hand and, despite all of the questions I was asked about where I was taking her, led her through the halls of the house, until we came outside, to the balustrade, overlooking the beautiful lake. "Remember this?" I asked. Padmé looked at me incredulously, stifling a yawn. "Of course I do," She gave me a confused look. "I have been living here for six months, without you. I think I know my own balcony when I see it." "No," I said. "This." I leaned forward and kissed her, and she did not pull away. "Now do you remember?" I asked with a sly smile. "Yes," came the breathless reply. I took her hand and looked out over the lake. "I love the water," I stated, almost wistfully. "I know you do," Padmé rested her head on my shoulder. I remembered all that had happened here about a year ago.I don't like sand. It's coarse, and rough, and irritating, and it gets everywhere.not like here. Here everything is soft.and smooth. I gently ran my hand down Padmé's soft, warm back. She looked up at me and smiled. She remembered, too. "Skywalker," a mechanical voice cracked through the air like a whip. I glanced down at my comlink and wanted to throw it across the lake, never to return. Seeing that would not be possible or fitting of a Jedi Knight, I closed my eyes, centered on my impatience and let it go. I reluctantly removed my arms from Padmé's waist and answered the annoying machine. "Skywalker here," I replied, exasperated. "What is it this time?" "The Jedi Council requests your presence," it explained. I groaned inwardly. "Now?" I asked incredulously, not wanting to leave--for obvious reasons. "Now, young Skywalker," the voice was curt. "But--" "Now." With no room for debate, I assured my caller that I would be there.now.and I turned to Padmé, her eyes full of sadness. "How long will you be?" she inquired.
I shrugged, hopeless. "It depends in what they ask of me," She leaned forward, threw her arms about my shoulders and looked deep into my eyes, tears flowing from her own. I kissed each of them away, bringing a smile to my beloved Padmé's face. "I won't be gone long, love, I promise." I kissed her one last time, and gently drew back from the comfort of her arms. She held my hand, refusing to let go. "Padmé, please," I urged, "I must go. You know this," I studied her face, wanting to remember its beauty forever. She feared for me, I could tell. "I'll be back. I love you." Her hand dropped to her side in defeat. I hugged her once more, assuring her of my return, and of my love. I pulled away so that she would not see the hot tears creating paths down my cheeks. * * * I sat in the musty space cruiser an hour later, after eating a quick lunch and waiting in line to get on this piece of junk. I lay back in my seat, awaiting departure, not really caring if it came. In truth, I really did not want to see the Council right now. I would probably be interrogated about my marriage, grilled because of it, and expelled from the Jedi Order, all for Padmé. I sighed a nervous sigh as I tried to sleep away the long voyage.
A moment later, a huge blast rocked the cruiser, and I could hear shouts of fear among the unceasing firing. The sun outside was red, the color of blood. I leapt from my seat, wanting to find what was wrong. I noticed that we were on the ground, and jumped out of the cruiser. Despite all the confusion, I noticed a slight figure holding a bundle in her arms. She turned and looked at me fleetingly and I was struck with frightening familiarity. Padmé. I ran to help her, but a hand on my shoulder stopped me fast. "Anakin." I whirled around to see a man I didn't know. "Sir, I must go!" "Anakin." Anakin.
Noooo!!!!!
I awoke with a start, sweat pouring down my face. I looked up to see the face of Obi-Wan Kenobi, and I calmed down. "Anakin," He said, "You had another nightmare, a wracking one at that. Anyway, you landed about 30 minutes ago, and the pilot repeatedly tried to wake you to get you off board, but I guess he only succeeded in making your nightmares more vivid!" I smiled at my former Master's characteristically dry humor. "Thanks for.I guess, waking me up," I said with a yawn. "I don't think I could stand any more of that nightmare, Master Obi-Wan." "No problem, kiddo." Obi-Wan and I walked the long distance to the Temple in silence. I was usually comfortable in silence, but not now. "Master?" I asked, not bothering to correct my use of the term 'Master', since I was a Knight and was no longer under his tutelage. "Yes, Anakin?" "I have something to tell you. Padmé'--Senator Amidala-and I have been married for six months." I stopped, not knowing how to go on. I didn't like to tell people about our marriage, especially Jedi. But I felt Obi-Wan had the right to know. He was practically my father. "I see." came the neutral response. "I had suspected as much." I didn't say anything. I had told him what he needed to know, and despite earlier claims, no longer wanted to talk. "I'm proud of you," He turned to me. "I am proud that you found something in your life worth living for." He sounded almost wishful, as if love was something elusive to him, something he couldn't touch, something just out of his reach. "Have you ever loved anyone, Master?" I asked hesitantly. He stopped walking and faced me. He inhaled deeply. "I did." "Tell me Master!" I pleaded, "Why didn't you ever tell me before?" Refusing to answer my question, he went on after taking another deep breath. "Her name was.Cerasi." It seemed as if saying the name pained him, for his voice faltered on the last syllable. "I met her on one of my missions with Qui-Gon. She had lived on the planet Melida/Daan, a war torn planet, her whole life. Melida/Daan broke out in frequent wars, you see, and we were sent to find a solution to their mess. We unexpectedly stumbled upon a group of teenagers and children known as the Young. They wanted peace, and fought for it. Cerasi was one of the leaders of this complex organization. I was only fifteen at the time, and became so obsessed with her cause. I fought alongside her, for her, and not for the Jedi. Qui-Gon didn't approve of my doings, but I believed they were right at the time." He spoke slowly and clearly, and I was hanging on his every word. "I grew to love Cerasi and she me. Our mission was completed, and Qui-Gon insisted we get back to Coruscant as soon as possible. I didn't go. I just couldn't. I betrayed Qui-Gon's trust then, and left the Jedi Order. Then," his voice faltered again, "one day we went into battle, and.." he took another deep breath, "she was killed. I had not seen the sniper on top of the roof that had killed her because I was not being observant, as a Jedi should always be. I had nothing more to live for. I had left the Jedi Order, and they would never take me back. They proved me wrong and let me continue to be a Jedi, but regaining Qui-Gon's trust took awhile. You see, Padawan, things aren't always as you want them to be."
I stood there, perplexed. Not only was it unusual for Obi-Wan to say so much at one time, to me of all people, but he had left the Jedi Order! I never thought Obi-Wan could do such a thing. I realized that, even though I was no longer his Padawan, (even if he occasionally still called me 'Padawan') he would always be my Master, almost father. I smiled, and he embraced me, then held me at arm's length, as if to size me up. "Just be careful, Anakin," he warned. "I don't want you to get hurt. You know how much I.well you know. Just be careful!" he said with a smile. "I love you too, Master!" I said, laughing, and he tousled my hair. I grinned. "That's just like you. Always saying what I can't get up the courage to," We finally reached the door to the Council chamber. Obi-Wan signaled that we had arrived, and the doors slid open noiselessly. I took my place beside Obi-Wan and faced the Council. "Anakin, Obi-Wan," The commanding voice of Mace Windu pierced the air, as usual, Mace didn't spend time on preliminaries. "As you know, there are not enough soldiers to fight for Coruscant. The Senate has requested that we recruit Jedi as generals for the Army. You two were the first I wanted to inform. Obi-Wan, you will be posted as General Kenobi in the fighter pilot division. You will need to guide these amateurs and teach them to maneuver properly in the air. Anakin," he turned to me. I didn't want to hear my fate, "you will be posted on the front lines." Front lines? A lump formed in my throat. He motioned to both of us."You will not need your lightsabers, but you can take it with you. A blaster or two would be more appropriate." Obi-Wan and I nodded, not questioning Master Windu's decisions. We were dismissed. The door to the room outside the temple opened noiselessly, and I walked out, shaking. Me? The front lines? Was Master Windu sure of what he said? Shouldn't I be the one in the fighter plane? Not that I want Obi-Wan in more danger but.he's more experienced! Why me? I stopped, trembling, in mid-stride, refusing to go further down the hall, as if it would change they way my destiny would be played out. "Anakin," a calm voice behind me drowned out my thoughts. "It'll be okay." I turned to see Obi-Wan, "But Master, I." "Anakin, don't fear. Fear is the path to the dark side, remember?" He arched an eyebrow at my apparent lack of Jedi poise. I closed my eyes obediently and centered on my fear, and then let it drain from my shaking body. "Well done." I stopped shaking. "Master," I finally asked. "Should I have told the Council of my marriage? I meant to, and.I feel I've betrayed them, not informing them." I thought it over. "I guess I already have, though, right? I mean, I'm married for sith's sake!" Obi-Wan grinned. "You told me," he said, "don't forget that," "I know." "Are you hungry? We could go see Dex and get a little something to eat," Obi-Wan offered. "No," I said defiantly as my stomach gave a loud urrp. Obi-Wan laughed. "Sure you're not! Come on," he said. I smiled as we walked in to Dex's Diner. I was greeted with the smell of hot food, and I immediately became ravenous. We placed our orders for some lunch and then sat down at a small booth by a window. Our food finally came, and we ate like shaaks. We had a good time, talking and laughing. When it finally came time to leave, I told Obi-Wan I would like to walk around for a while instead of going back to the Temple. He nodded and said he had to get back to the Temple to help Yoda with some Jedi initiates. So we parted ways, but not without another tousling of the hair and a fatherly warning to be careful. I started down the walkway ahead of me. What would I tell Padmé? She would be worried if she knew I was going to fight on the front lines, and I didn't want to cause her grief. But, she had a right to know.. I came to a bench and sat down. Just then, my comlink beeped. "Skywalker," came a feminine voice. Padmé. "Skywalker here," I said, trying to sound official, but my excitement bubbled over. "I've missed you, Padmé!" "I've missed you, too, Ani, but I have news." she stopped, as if to taunt me. Her voice was soft and tender. "What kind of news?" I asked anxiously. "Oh." she said congenially, "only something about.. hmmm..let's see," I didn't say anything. I let her taunt me.she would tell me, I knew. "Only that you're going to be a father." I jumped from my seat on the bench in joy, incredulous. "When?" I asked as my breath fleetingly left me. "You'll see." "Oh, Padmé."I smiled. I loved her so much--which brought me to my news. "Padmé," I said hesitantly. "What, Ani?" I sighed. This was going to be tough. "I've-I've been posted to fight on the front lines. The Senate requested that Jedi help fight in the war." ".oh, Ani.." "I--I'll be fine! Don't worry about me! You just take care of yourself.and our little--" "Girl," she finished. "Girl," I repeated. "Take care of her," I pleaded. "I will," she promised. "I love you, Anakin." "I love you, too Padmé. I must go," I ended the communication so that I would not have to see her cry; I knew she would. I walked along, wandering aimlessly, until I reached the Jedi Temple. I went up to my quarters and sat on my sleep couch. I would have to fight tomorrow, and wished this day would never end. * * *