Han Gets A Tattoo
Han, Luke and Leia were going to a tattoo parlour on Coruscant. Luke and Leia stopped in front of the parlour and looked at Han.
'Han, are you sure you wanna do this?' Leia asked.
'It's very painful, Han,' commented Luke.
'I'm sure! I wanna get a tattoo. Everybody else is getting it. Lando got a dragon done on his arm last week. He's not dead yet!'
'Well, you might just be, Han. Not everybody can take the pain,' Luke said.
'Who cares about the pain! I'll have a great tattoo, won't I?'
'Very well, Han. Let's go, then.' The trio walked into the parlour. It was fancier than the other tattoo shops described to them by their friends. There was a man behind a desk who looked up as they entered.
'Yes?' he asked.
'My friend wants a tattoo, Sir,' Luke said.
'So does everybody else. Sit down and wait a while. Someone will come and make your tattoo for you. Eventually.'
The three sat down. The man handed Han a book, which had pictures of all their tattoos. Han went through all of them and decided on a horribly ugly lizard with yellow scales and even uglier background.
'Han, that's ugly!' Leia said.
'You won't be able to endure the pain, Han! They have a colourful background and everything. Are you sure you want to do this?' Luke said.
'Yes!' Han walked over to the desk and showed the man the tattoo he wanted. The man looked up at Han once and took out a receipt.
'Number twenty-eight. Okay! Name please?' the man asked.
'Han Solo.'
'Right! Sit down.' The man put the receipt away somewhere.
The three waited patiently and finally Han was called. Leia and Luke exchanged nervous glances. Han walked in calmly with a smile on his face. He sat down across the tattoo-ist.
'You want number twenty-eight, huh?' the man asked.
'Yes.'
Without another word the man took out a pen and started drawing the hideous lizard on Han's upper-arm. Luke and Leia stood back and watched. Han looked up and grinned at them.
Then, the man picked up his tattooing machinery. Han took one look at it and wanted to run. The tattoo on Lando's arm had looked really stylish but Lando hadn't told him how horribly scary the machines looked. They looked like drills that were used to fill teeth.
'Uh… what are you going to do with that?' Han asked, getting worried.
'Make your tattoo,' the man said sourly.
'Oh,' Han said, softly. He glanced up at Luke and Leia who were looking very satisfied at his fear. They had warned him but he'd refused to listen. Now, it was too late to run away.
The man brought the drill closer to Han's arm and then…
'AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH,' Han screamed when the drill touched his skin.
'Good Heavens!' Luke yelled and covered his ears. Leia followed suit and looked away.
'THAT HURTS!' Han screamed again. He desperately tried to wriggle out of the man's grip but he wouldn't let go. He must have been acquainted with this behaviour because he didn't even move when Han screamed. He calmly went on drilling into Han's skin as Han screamed at the top of his lungs.
'We told him, didn't we Leia?' Luke asked.
'Yes, we did!' Leia said and sat down on a stool near Han. She put a hand on Han's arm and tried to console him. But he kept on screaming.
'We told you, Han. You can't say we didn't!' Luke said once they'd gotten out of the parlour.
'I admit, it was a stupid thing to do!' Han said and looked at his arm. The tattoo was covered with a piece of cotton wool. He wondered how it would look. He hadn't had a chance to see it considering how he'd fainted.
'But, I must say. It sure does look ghastly on your arm!' Leia said. She meant it as a compliment.
'WHAT! After all that I went through you're telling me it looks awful on my arm!' Han yelled.
'No Han… it was a…' Leia started.
'What? How can you just sit there and watch some man mutilate my arm?' Han asked.
'You wanted it!' Luke said.
'Wanted it! Wanted it? Of course I wanted it!' Han said.
'Then why are you yelling your brains out?' Leia asked.
'Why shouldn't I?'
'I was merely paying you a compliment!' Leia said, in disgust.
'Oh. I didn't know.' The three walked back to the Imperial Consulate. As soon as they'd gotten in Han went on a search for Lando.
After a few hours, Han managed to locate his former employer AND friend. He grabbed him by the scruff of his collar.
'YOU DIDN'T TELL ME IT HURT?' Han yelled.
'What hurt?' Lando looked at Han with bewilderment.
'The tattoo, you idiot! I fainted thanks to the pain!'
'You had a tattoo done?' Lando asked, and then burst out laughing.
'What's so funny?' Han asked.
'Han! Han! I always knew you were crazy!' Lando said between fits of laughter.
'Crazy? I'm crazy?'
'Han, that was a fake tattoo that I had done. I can't believe you couldn't resist having one done yourself just to show off.'
'Fake? You mean you didn't have the courage to have a REAL tattoo so you had a fake one done?'
'Yeah,' Lando said, reluctantly.
It was Han's turn to laugh. He laughed long and hard with tears running down his face. He couldn't believe it.
'Which parlour did you go to?' Lando asked.
'The closest one to the Consulate.'
'You mean Spectacular Tattoos?' Lando looked aghast.
'Yeah, why?'
'Han, you never had any brains. And you never read the news either!' Lando walked up to Han and pushed his sleeve up. He then proceeded to pulling off the cotton wool.
Han looked at his arm, not believing his own eyes.
'What happened to my tattoo?' Han asked.
'Spectacular Tattoos never did tattoos. They just pretended to make it. But it's fake. It comes off after two hours.'
'But why didn't anybody shut it down?'
'They didn't shut it down because nobody really cared. You know how people are.'
'ALL THAT PAIN FOR NOTHING.'
'Happens. Happens.' Lando walked away leaving a sad Han behind.
Han, Luke and Leia were going to a tattoo parlour on Coruscant. Luke and Leia stopped in front of the parlour and looked at Han.
'Han, are you sure you wanna do this?' Leia asked.
'It's very painful, Han,' commented Luke.
'I'm sure! I wanna get a tattoo. Everybody else is getting it. Lando got a dragon done on his arm last week. He's not dead yet!'
'Well, you might just be, Han. Not everybody can take the pain,' Luke said.
'Who cares about the pain! I'll have a great tattoo, won't I?'
'Very well, Han. Let's go, then.' The trio walked into the parlour. It was fancier than the other tattoo shops described to them by their friends. There was a man behind a desk who looked up as they entered.
'Yes?' he asked.
'My friend wants a tattoo, Sir,' Luke said.
'So does everybody else. Sit down and wait a while. Someone will come and make your tattoo for you. Eventually.'
The three sat down. The man handed Han a book, which had pictures of all their tattoos. Han went through all of them and decided on a horribly ugly lizard with yellow scales and even uglier background.
'Han, that's ugly!' Leia said.
'You won't be able to endure the pain, Han! They have a colourful background and everything. Are you sure you want to do this?' Luke said.
'Yes!' Han walked over to the desk and showed the man the tattoo he wanted. The man looked up at Han once and took out a receipt.
'Number twenty-eight. Okay! Name please?' the man asked.
'Han Solo.'
'Right! Sit down.' The man put the receipt away somewhere.
The three waited patiently and finally Han was called. Leia and Luke exchanged nervous glances. Han walked in calmly with a smile on his face. He sat down across the tattoo-ist.
'You want number twenty-eight, huh?' the man asked.
'Yes.'
Without another word the man took out a pen and started drawing the hideous lizard on Han's upper-arm. Luke and Leia stood back and watched. Han looked up and grinned at them.
Then, the man picked up his tattooing machinery. Han took one look at it and wanted to run. The tattoo on Lando's arm had looked really stylish but Lando hadn't told him how horribly scary the machines looked. They looked like drills that were used to fill teeth.
'Uh… what are you going to do with that?' Han asked, getting worried.
'Make your tattoo,' the man said sourly.
'Oh,' Han said, softly. He glanced up at Luke and Leia who were looking very satisfied at his fear. They had warned him but he'd refused to listen. Now, it was too late to run away.
The man brought the drill closer to Han's arm and then…
'AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH,' Han screamed when the drill touched his skin.
'Good Heavens!' Luke yelled and covered his ears. Leia followed suit and looked away.
'THAT HURTS!' Han screamed again. He desperately tried to wriggle out of the man's grip but he wouldn't let go. He must have been acquainted with this behaviour because he didn't even move when Han screamed. He calmly went on drilling into Han's skin as Han screamed at the top of his lungs.
'We told him, didn't we Leia?' Luke asked.
'Yes, we did!' Leia said and sat down on a stool near Han. She put a hand on Han's arm and tried to console him. But he kept on screaming.
'We told you, Han. You can't say we didn't!' Luke said once they'd gotten out of the parlour.
'I admit, it was a stupid thing to do!' Han said and looked at his arm. The tattoo was covered with a piece of cotton wool. He wondered how it would look. He hadn't had a chance to see it considering how he'd fainted.
'But, I must say. It sure does look ghastly on your arm!' Leia said. She meant it as a compliment.
'WHAT! After all that I went through you're telling me it looks awful on my arm!' Han yelled.
'No Han… it was a…' Leia started.
'What? How can you just sit there and watch some man mutilate my arm?' Han asked.
'You wanted it!' Luke said.
'Wanted it! Wanted it? Of course I wanted it!' Han said.
'Then why are you yelling your brains out?' Leia asked.
'Why shouldn't I?'
'I was merely paying you a compliment!' Leia said, in disgust.
'Oh. I didn't know.' The three walked back to the Imperial Consulate. As soon as they'd gotten in Han went on a search for Lando.
After a few hours, Han managed to locate his former employer AND friend. He grabbed him by the scruff of his collar.
'YOU DIDN'T TELL ME IT HURT?' Han yelled.
'What hurt?' Lando looked at Han with bewilderment.
'The tattoo, you idiot! I fainted thanks to the pain!'
'You had a tattoo done?' Lando asked, and then burst out laughing.
'What's so funny?' Han asked.
'Han! Han! I always knew you were crazy!' Lando said between fits of laughter.
'Crazy? I'm crazy?'
'Han, that was a fake tattoo that I had done. I can't believe you couldn't resist having one done yourself just to show off.'
'Fake? You mean you didn't have the courage to have a REAL tattoo so you had a fake one done?'
'Yeah,' Lando said, reluctantly.
It was Han's turn to laugh. He laughed long and hard with tears running down his face. He couldn't believe it.
'Which parlour did you go to?' Lando asked.
'The closest one to the Consulate.'
'You mean Spectacular Tattoos?' Lando looked aghast.
'Yeah, why?'
'Han, you never had any brains. And you never read the news either!' Lando walked up to Han and pushed his sleeve up. He then proceeded to pulling off the cotton wool.
Han looked at his arm, not believing his own eyes.
'What happened to my tattoo?' Han asked.
'Spectacular Tattoos never did tattoos. They just pretended to make it. But it's fake. It comes off after two hours.'
'But why didn't anybody shut it down?'
'They didn't shut it down because nobody really cared. You know how people are.'
'ALL THAT PAIN FOR NOTHING.'
'Happens. Happens.' Lando walked away leaving a sad Han behind.