A/N: Hello. I'm not much of a romance person, but I just feel so sorry for Havoc that I have to give him a girl. The dateline is kinda fuzzy for this fanfic, but just work with me, people!

Roy Mustang has done it again. He'd taken my heart and smashed it into pieces. Wait...I know what you're thinking! I'm NOT gay! The Colonel just stole my girl...AGAIN, DAMMIT! It's not enough that he's taken every girl I've had since I joined his divison. Oh no, he's got to go and dump her after the second date! I can't take it anymore! I'm so gonna kill that bastard!

Roy Mustang was sitting at his desk, staring intently at one of those 'Magic Eye' puzzles, when Havoc burst into his office. He didn't even look upp as the man stormed to his desk, fury clear in every inch of his face.

"You're a low bastard, you know that?" Havoc muttered, slamming his fist onto Roy's desk. Roy looked up, bored.

"Can I help you?" he asked lazily. Havoc's face twisted with fury.

"No thanks, sir. I think I've had enough help from you." Roy actually flinched as he heard the sarcasm drip acidly from Havoc's voice. Shrugging, Roy turned back to the illusion. Havoc was not having this, however. In a fit of rage, he slapped the book out of Roy's hands, glaring as it smacked into a window and slid to the floor. Roy sighed.

"You know, that could be considered as assaulting a superior officer," he replied, careful to keep his voice even and aloof. Havoc's glare returned to him at full force.

"I don't give a shit, Colonel," he growled. Roy looked up into the man's blazing blue eyes. He sighed again and pulled himself out of his chair.

"Very well, then. I'll just have to punish you." A look of fear crossed Havoc's face. He knew that he had pushed too far if the Colonel was actually going to take the time to punish him. Roy's eyes glinted as he turned his gaze to Havoc. "Second Lutenient Havoc, you are hereby banned from duty until you have a girlfriend that you have gone out with at least three times!" Havoc's look of fear transfered to one of mixed shock and horror.

"B-but sir..." he stuttered, grabbing at the collar of his shirt. "How am I going to live? Am I going to have to find a new job?" Roy laughed.

"No, Lutenient. You'll be paid. But you honestly should have been more careful of your words if you were concerned about your job," he reprimanded. Havoc saluted him nervously and exited the office hastily. Roy watched him go with a laugh. "Oh yeah, I'm so going to win the bet on this one!"

The three men jumped out of their skins when the Colonel stormed his way into the room. Each tried franticly to cover the cards they had been playing poker with. In his haste, Fuery knocked over the sake, which made Breda groan in discust.

"Fuery, that was my last bottle..." he moaned, sinking to the floor sadly. Roy frowned down at him.

"No use crying over spilled sake," he said, pulling Breda to his feet. "Anyway, we've got a bet to take care of!" The three others turned, glancing curiously at Roy.

"What kind of bet, Colonel?" Falman asked nervously. Roy grinned.

"A bet on Havoc." The four men sniggered evilly. Roy sat down in a chair, the other three crowding around him anxiously.

"So...what're we betting on, Colonel?" Fuery asked innocently. Roy grinned.

"Well, the Lutenient is angry because I stole his girlfriend." The others laughed. Roy glared at them until they silenced. "Anyway," he said. "I banned him from duty until he has gone out with a girl for at least three dates." he finished, quite proud of himself. Breda raised an eyebrow.

"How're we gonna know if this is fair?" he asked. Roy pointed to Hawkeye, who was going over crime files in the corner, ignoring the men.

"Hawkeye's going to spy on him," he said happily. Hawkeye looked up with a frown.

"What makes you think I'd do that?" she asked, calm as ever. Roy's grin widened.

"Because I'm a higher ranking officer who's telling you that it's your new mission." Hawkeye stood up and sighed.

"Very well, sir. Should I leave?" Roy shook his head.

"No, Captain. I need to speak to you privately after the betting is done." Breda laughed and nudged Fuery with his elbow suggesively. Hawkeye noticed this and pulled out her revolver, pointing it at Breda's head.

"I'm an excellent marksman," she threatened. Fuery stood up, embarrased.

"Now, now. Ley's just settle down..." he said, tugging at Hawkeye's arm. She sighed and put her gun back in its holster.

"Oh sit down, Master Sergent," she muttered irratably. Fuery nodded and collapsed back into his chair, sighing. Roy looked to Falman.

"What's your bet, Warrant Officer?" Falman smiled and set a small amount of money on the table.

"5,000 sens that Havoc comes back in a year," he said confidently. Fuery shook his head and frowned.

"No, 10,000 sens he comes back in six months, begging for his job back." The money was placed on top of Falman's.

"10,000 says that he never comes back," Breda smirked. His money was placed in the growing heap on the table. The three men looked to their superior officer. Roy grinned and placed 20,000 sens on the table.

"I bet he comes back within a month," he said. The three men's jaws dropped to the floor in astonishment.

"Y-you're kidding me, right?" Falman asked, dumbfounded. Roy shook his head.

"Nope. I'm dead serious!" Breda got up out of his chair and headed for the door.

"And you're also dead broke," he teased. Fuery and Falman laughed and followed Breda out of the door. When Roy was sure they were gone, he turned to Hawkeye.

"Riza," he said gently. She rolled her eyes at him.

"What, Roy?" He grinned.

"I really do have a purpose in doing this, you know." Riza smiled and moved to sit next to Roy.

"Really...now what could that be?" Roy smiled deviously.

"I know a girl who needs a good man. A man like Havoc. So I need you to help them along, you know?" Riza sighed.

"You sure this isn't just you trying to cheat on your bet?" she asked harshly. Roy shook his head with amusement.

"Nah," he said, moving over towards Riza. "Besides," he muttered, enveloping Riza in a large hug. "It's a good way to spend extra time with you." Riza laughed and pushed him away playfully.

A/N: So, how was it? I'm warning you, this story is very fluffy.