Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi :/ I know super bummer.

"I'm able to breathe a sweet relief

Now that you're here for me

A northern degree dove into me

Now I'm recovering

I only want you to see

My favorite part of me

And not my ugly side

And not my ugly side, ugly side"

- "Ugly Side" by Blue October

Clare stared at her feet. The waiting room made her numb from the coldness of the hospital Hallways. But she didn't make an effort to keep herself warm. Her school jacket was left forgotten on the seat next to her. At that moment, Clare didn't want to think…She didn't want to feel. The cold brought a nice numbness to her otherwise troubled heart.

She waited for the doctor to come out, to give her some news, any news! But so far she had been left waiting in silence by herself.

When one of the doctors finally came out, she stood right up from her chair.

"How is he doing," Clare tried to keep her voice even.

"Are you a family member?" the doctor asked.

"No, I'm not-"

"I need to speak with a relative" and with that he retreated back down the hallway.

It unnerved Clare not knowing what was going on. She never felt so helpless.

.

.

"Eli, why do you like me?"

Eli turned to look at Clare, they were both laying on his bed. Clare couldn't help but feel so comfortable laying there next to him, to be this close to someone was a new feeling to her.

"What brought this on?" he asked, slowly caressing her cheek.

She gave him a shrug. "I'm just , you know, curious."

"Beside your undeniable Beauty, you are also smart, and …" he took a paused, and gave her one of his infamous smirks.

"And?" Clare said in anticipation.

"…and because every time I see you, I feel like kissing you."

Clare didn't know how to respond, so she leaned over and kissed him.

.

.

"I need to find it!" an enraged Eli screamed, as he searched through his locker and book bag.

"Eli calm down, its just a picture." Clare said.

"It's the only picture I have of her! I need to find it," Eli was hysterical.

Clare reached into her backpack and pulled out a photo of Eli's ex-girlfriend, Julia.

"Here," she said shoving it into his face. "It fell from your locker, I would of given it to you sooner, but you freaked out before I had the chance."

Eli took the photo, but stood quiet.

"You still aren't over her are you?" Clare knew the answer, as much as it pained her.

"..its not that simple, Clare," Eli told her, not wanting to meet her eyes.

"We have been together for awhile, I figured that meant you were ready to let go," Clare tried to keep her voice down, but her frustration still showed in her voice.

Eli slammed his locker closed, "I'm with you aren't I?" his words were angry.

"So I'm second best?" Clare shook her head and closed her locker " I'm late to class." she started to walk away.

"Clare, hold on," Eli grabbed her arm before she got to far down the hallway. "I didn't mean it to sound like you are second best. I really care about you, please just understand me a little."

"I'm trying Eli, I really am."

"Don't give up on me, at least not yet." he pleaded with her, and Clare's heart couldn't help but melt for him.

Clare gave a sigh. "I think I'm losing my sanity."

He leaned forward and place a small kiss on her forehead,

"Its cause you can't get enough of me." Eli gave her his signature smile.

"I'll be late to class for getting to much of you!"

.

.

Clare wiped a tear from her cheek, as she stared down the hallway, toward where she saw the Doctors take Eli, through those double doors.

"Clare?"

She looked up to find Adam standing next to her. In a split second she was in his arms, crying in desperation.

"It was an accident-he didn't- …I couldn't " Clare said between sobs.

Adam patted her back trying to comfort his friend. But at the same time worried, about his injured friend.

.

.

Adam walked up to the dot, he could already spot Eli sitting at one of the tables in the far corner. After making his way inside he walked up to him.

"Hey," Adam said in greeting as he took the empty seat in front of Eli.

Eli gave him a glance and then turned his attention back to his book.

"Did Clare send you?" Eli asked after a few minutes of silence.

"She didn't have too, you been acting pretty out of it. What's going on Man?" Adam hated getting in the middle of things. But Eli was his bud, and buds help each other out.

Eli ran his fingers through his hair, and gave a big sigh.

"… Julia's death anniversary is coming up, and its been messing with my head lately."

"I thought you had made your peace with her passing." Adam figured that's why him and Clare had started going out.

"I really thought I did…" Eli stared at the table. "I shouldn't have brought Clare into this."

"phss! To late for that, you guys wouldn't have been able to resist not being together." Adam said.

"Clare has been wonderful, she took me back knowing things weren't going to be easy. I hate that I can't be honest with her, …I can't be as open with her with out hurting her"

Adam looked at his friend, "You can't blame yourself forever Eli. Make your peace with what happen with Julia, ..it's time to let her go."

Eli looked up and Adam met his eyes, they showed a trouble person fighting for an answer.

"But you have to be willing to do so….Clare can only be so understanding."

Adam got up and walked out of the café. Leaving Eli to his thoughts. Adam knew that he could only help his friend so much. This was something Eli needed to come to terms with on his own.

.

.

"Have the doctors told you anything?" Adam asked Clare once she calmed down a little.

"They won't tell me anything, they will only talk to a family member." Clare's eyes where bloodshot from all the crying.

"I'll call his parents," Adam said.

.

.

"Clare wait up!"

Clare turn to see Adam yelling across the school parking lot. Adam ran up to her, breaking a sweat in the process.

"Hey Adam, what's going on?"

"I talked to Eli, and he seems to be having a hard time," Adam explain trying to catch his breath. "You know it's Julia's Death anniversary soon?"

"No I didn't, It's that what's been going on?" Clare asked.

"I think so, the dude seems to be having a hard time getting over it."

Clare look at her feet, she didn't know what to think. Eli still had pretty strong feelings for Julia.

"Do you think the fact the we are together is hurting Eli?" Clare asked.

"I don't know the answer to that, this is you guys issue. What you guys feel is between both of you," Adam never liked getting in the middle of things.

"Well, I know what I feel…I just don't know what he is feeling."

"There really isn't much left to do then to confront him." Adam told his friend.

Clare nodded, knowing that it was exactly what she needed to do.

.

.

Both Adam and Clare sat side by side in the hospital waiting area. Having Adam with her calmed Clare's nerves a little, but her heart felt heavy, and the worry still consumed her.

Eli's parents had arrived 30 minutes ago, they where rushed by the doctors through the double doors as soon as they got there.

Clare's head began to feel light and the room felt like it was spinning. She leaned forward and put her head between her hands. "This isn't happening," she thought. "This can't be real."

"Clare?"

Adam's voice brought Clare back to her senses. And she turned to look at him.

"Can you tell me what happen?

AN: Please R&R! This was originally a one shot but it kept getting longer as I wrote, so this will be divided into 3 chapters. BTW, I have really bad grammar . I have read and revised this so many times, even so I probably didn't catch all my mistakes. Hope the story was still readable. You can follow me on twitter and tumblr under the user name LovelyVerity ^_^