Fic: Stuffed
Pairings, Characters: Lita/Edge, Jason Reso
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Summary: Too much food after Thanksgiving dinner.
Spoilers: Are you kidding me? Noooo!
Notes: This might be the silliest fic I've ever written. Using real names because it's easier. Jay and Adam share a house in Florida for this one so storylines aren't real. There is another version of this fic over at Lita Fics on LJ just in case you've read it before. Don't think I ever post this on here before.
Adam Copeland groaned from his position on the couch. His girlfriend was sat just to the left of him, his arm was draped around her shoulder.
"What's the matter?" she asked.
"I've eaten too much, I feel like shit," Adam admitted.
The redhead grinned, "Well, that's what you get for trying to compete with Mister Eatsalot over there." She nodded in the direction of the arm chair currently occupied by a very smug looking Jay Reso.
Adam made a face, "Remind me never to try it again … my tummy hurts," sounding exactly like a small boy when he said the last part.
"Aww, poor baby," Amy replied, rubbing his stomach gently.
"Oww, that hurts," Adam complained.
"I barely touched you," Amy shot back.
Jay laughed at that, "If you can't do the time, you shouldn't do the crime."
"Shut up, Reso. Nobody asked you."
"Pardon me for breathing," Jay replied, sarcastically.
"You have no idea how bad I feel right now."
"Ain't my fault, it's not just the beer you can't hold." In truth his fellow Canadian was probably feeling as bad as Adam right now. He just wasn't about to admit it but he would definitely be riding the chocolate river a little later on tonight.
"I think I'm going to go to bed, baby. See if I can sleep this off."
"Really?" the redhead asked in disbelief. "It's still really early."
"I think it's for the best, Ames."
"Okay, if you're sure. I'll check up on you later." She gave him a quick kiss on the lips before moving to the side so he could get up.
Four hours later …
Amy turned over in the bed, stirring slightly when she heard what sounded like panting. At first she thought it was one of her dogs but then she remembered she was staying over at Adam's and Jay's for Thanksgiving. So that must mean the panting she could hear must be coming from Adam. What the hell was he doing? "Baby?"
He didn't answer.
Cautiously she opened her eyes, unsure of what she might see. She could help but be relieved when she saw both his hands were on top of the comforter. "Ads?"
"Can't breathe … too … much … pain." He resumed panting.
Amy reached over and turned on the light on the nightstand. She rubbed her eyes and turned her attention back to her boyfriend. "Can you get up?"
Adam shook his head.
"Baby, you're scaring me. Do you want me to call 911?" she asked.
"Not yet."
"Where does it hurt?"
"My stomach."
"Well thank god. I thought you were having a heart attack or something. So you have sharp stabbing pains in your stomach?"
"Yes!" He winced again. "Hurts so much."
Amy thought for a moment, "It's probably just gas."
"Gas? You're kidding me right?"
Amy looked at him, "Do I look like I'm kidding?"
Adam groaned, "Nope. Baby, please help me."
"Okay, okay." She pulled back the covers, "You need you turn over."
"Are you insane?"
"It's the only way to get it out of you. You want to feel better don't you?" Amy asked.
"You know I do but can't I just go to the bathroom?"
"That won't work. Just trust me okay?"
Adam nodded, slowly turning around.
"Now up on all fours and stick your butt in the air," Amy instructed.
"What? No way. What if Jay walks in? I'll never it live it down." Adam explained.
Amy smiled, "If it will make you feel any better I'll lock the door. I'm sure Jay's fast asleep by now anyways."
"I wouldn't bet on it. He'd probably bust in right at the worst moment possible and capture my humiliation on his cell phone," he insisted, "Oww, it hurts so much."
Amy got out of bed, pulling a shirt over her head as she headed towards the door. She locked it and returned to the bed, "It's locked. No chance of your roommate appearing. Now just be a good boy and stick your ass up in the air. Okay?"
"Okay," Adam replied. Carefully, he did want she asked.
"You're doing well, babe. Now when I say so, shake your ass from side to side."
"What?"
"Trust me, it will help. Now I'm going to stand well back because I'm sure that when the gas comes, it's not going to be pleasant … for anyone."
Adam turned his head towards her, "Are you making fun of me, Red?"
Amy bit back a smile, "Of course not, baby. I'm trying to help you, remember?"
"Okay, I'm gonna shake my ass now."
"Okay." She moved across the room over to the window, preparing to open it.
"I don't think it's working," the blonde man said.
"Just give it a little time." Amy insisted. "Maybe shake it some more."
Adam complied, shaking his butt as much as he could without causing him too much extra pain. Nothing happened. "This is hopeless."
"Oh Ads, don't be such a drama queen. Trust me."
"Honestly, Amy I don't think this is going …" he stopped mid sentence as the gas was released loudly. "Hey, it worked … awesome."
Amy fanned in front of her nose, "Kinda noticed, babe."
Adam got up from the bed and headed towards the bathroom. "I'll be back."
Ten minutes later he returned. "Thanks Amy. I don't know what I would have done without you."
"You're welcome, Adam. Now can we get back to sleep?"
"Of course, come here."
Down the hallway … "Oww, hurts so bad."
