A/N: Hi! It's me again, with another horrible attempt at literature! It's another oneshot; kind of like Kimmimaro's New Jutsu, except Kabuto isn't going to that "better place." Enjoy!
One boring day, Orochimaru and Kabuto were slouching on the couch watching reruns of Avenger (See other story, We Are Family!) starring Sasuke Uchiha. "This show sucks!" Kabuto remarked. "All it is is Sasuke walking around his house doing normal stuff like eating, sleeping, cursing Itachi, prank-calling Kakashi… no wonder it was taken off the air!" Orochimaru didn't respond. He was staring at Sasuke with a creepy expression on his face. Just then, a commercial for some casino came on with a card dealer, who looked kind of like Kakuzu, singing Party Rock Anthem, snapping Orochimaru out of his creepy stare. "Hey Kabuto," he said, "I know what we're going to do today!" "No, we're not stalking Sasuke. And we're not going to a casino either!" "Fine, then what should we do?" Orochimaru asked, sounding disappointed in a creepy way. "Uh, I don't know, prank call the Akatsuki?" "No, we did that last, week… I know! How about one of my sick and creepy experiments?" Orochimaru said, sounding waaay too excited in a creepy way. "But you killed all our test subjects in a rampage last time Sasuke got away." Kabuto said matter-of-factly. "Oh yeah…" Orochimaru said, sounding regretful in a creepy way, "Then I'll just use you!" "Okay!" Kabuto sounded waaay too excited, too. "To the lab!" Orochimaru yelled in a really creepy way.
At the lab…
"Okay, Kabuto, stand over there… Good! Now drink this, eat this, swallow this, and chew on this… Good!" Orochimaru was happy in a creepy way. "Okay, now what?" Kabuto asked. "We wait for something to happen." "Sounds good to me." A minute or so later, Kabuto started glowing purple. "Hey, I'm glowing purple, my favorite color!" Kabuto said. "I like purple, too! I'll do the same thing you did so I can be purple, too!" A few minutes later, Orochimaru was glowing, too, and looking creepier, if that was possible. "Yaaaay!" they both yelled. "Can we go to the casino, now?" "Okay!"
Two weeks later, (All the stuff that happened at the casino is unimportant at this point, but I can say that card dealers shouldn't attempt to sing while shuffling ((get it?)) Kabuto and Orochimaru were still purple, and Orochimaru was still really creepy. The purpleness started to bother them. "I think this should have worn off by now." Kabuto said, feeling uneasy. "I'm sure it's fine." Said Orochimaru, sounding nonchalant in a creepy way. "Still, I'm going to check the internet." Kabuto went to the computer and typed in .com. In a minute, he had pulled up a file for something called "purple-itus." "I think I found it. It says it is caused by drinking this, eating this swallowing this, and chewing on this- yep, definitely it." "What are the symptoms?" "Glowing purple and drowsiness." At this, Orochimaru yawned in a creepy way. "That's not such a big deal." He said. "Wait! It also says that if it is not treated within two weeks, you have an increased chance of exploding!" Kabuto said, panicking.
"Art is an explosion, yeah!" Deidara yelled happily as he popped out of an underground tunnel that lead to their living room that only he knew about. "Get out of my house!" Orochimaru screeched so angrily that it was creepy, as he picked up a chair and smashed Deidara in the head with it so hard that he fell back through the tunnel. "Did you get the cookies?" Tobi asked hopefully from the tunnel right before Deidara landed on his head.
"Now, what were you saying?" Orochimaru asked in, you guessed it, a creepy way. "I was saying-" Kabuto couldn't finish his sentence before he exploded, causing half the house to explode, too. "Yeah!" Deidara said, popping out of the tunnel again. Before he could react, Orochimaru exploded in a creepy way, taking the other half of the house and Deidara with him. All was silent.
An hour later, Kimmimaro arrived home after a trip to the store. "Hello?" he called amongst the rubble. "I got the ice cream!" "ICE CREAM!" Tobi screeched happily from the tunnel where he had been mourning the loss of Deidara. His friend now completely forgotten, he grabbed the ice cream and fled through the tunnel to wherever that little munchkin came from. "My ice cream…" Kimmimaro said sadly, his missing friends and the state of his home forgotten for the moment. Ice cream does that to people.
"Don't worry," Itachi said, suddenly appearing beside him. "Orochimaru went out in a creepy way, and Kabuto is in that better place where he can slap Kakashi every day." And with that, Kimmimaro ripped his hair out and ran away screaming. It was just too much for him.
Itachi shrugged. He got that a lot. He decided to go bother Kisame for a while. Maybe watch some Avenger reruns. This was the start of a great day. *BOOM*
Or not.
A/N: You can decide what happened. Okay, so Kabuto did go to that better place. Hope everyone enjoyed it in a creepy way! *BOOM* Or not.