So, here it is. I knew a dozen of these would pop up before I had a chance to write mine. I tried several different angles…and here I am at 11:19 pm, East Coast time on April 12, 2013 listening to a Garth Brooks song, sobbing my eyes out and realizing how PERFECT this song was. Here's… 'If Tomorrow Never Comes'
Sometimes late at night
I lie awake and watch him sleeping
He's lost in peaceful dreams
So I turn out the lights and lay there in the dark
And the thought crosses my mind
If I never wake up in the morning
Would he ever doubt the way I feel
About him in my heart
"This can't be happening to me. Kurt doesn't know."
Blaine Anderson kept thinking to himself. Kurt didn't know just how he felt about him. He knew that if he had that one opportunity…he'd tell Kurt. All he needed to do was make it out of this choir room alive. Everyone was tweeting and texting and crying, and Blaine was sobbing. Sobbing quietly in front of his best friends, because of his lost love. He knew that he'd royally screwed things up with Kurt, but he didn't know if he could get him back. He replayed the dozens of memories he had of Kurt in his mind, knowing that this would get him through until he could talk to Kurt. He needed Kurt to know. He needed Kurt back in his life. That was all he knew. Sam shook his arm and looked at him.
"Blaine, you okay?"
Blaine just shook his head. He wasn't okay. And as long as his relationship with Kurt was still broken, he never would be. He just needed Kurt in that instant…and he wasn't there. But then, in a moment of clarity, Blaine realized that he was the happiest with Kurt in his life. He grabbed his cell phone and with shaky fingers, pulled up a blank text message.
To: Kurt
If you see this anytime soon…please know that I love you always. You're my past. My present. My future. My forever. I'm so sorry for the indiscretion I've done to you. And you've moved on…and I should be happy. Please, just don't leave me.
And he sent the message. Love made you do strange things, and so did tragic events. He was certain he'd not regret that message, so he did what he knew how to do best. He sat down, and let the painful memories of the breakup have him.
If tomorrow never comes
Will he know how much I loved him
Did I try in every way to show him everyday
That he's my only one
And if my time on earth were through
And he must face this world without me
Is the love I gave him in the past
Gonna be enough to last
If tomorrow never comes
Kurt Hummel had four messages. One from his dad, one from his brother, one from Rachel and one from Blaine. He hadn't been able to check them because of the test he was taking in his dance class. He decided to check them in the order that they'd been received, so he started with his dad's.
From: Dad
Kurt, something big is happening at McKinley. Call me.
Kurt shook his head. Why should he care about what was happening at McKinley, there was nothing there but…Blaine. He'd wondered what was going on. And when he opened Finn's message, he knew that something was amiss. Finn was away at Ohio State, and he was studying to become a teacher.
From: Finn
Kurt, please. Call me. Let me know if you're headed back to Lima.
"Why the hell would I go back to Lima, Finn?"
He asked out loud. He blushed at the crowd of people surrounding him. He'd decided to skip over Rachel's message and went right to Blaine's. He read Blaine's message and gasped. Something was wrong. Really wrong. And he didn't know what, but he knew that he'd started shaking. So, he brought up his dad's contact information and called him first, his mind racing.
"Kurt."
"Dad! What's wrong? I got this really ominous message from Blaine."
"Kiddo…there were shots fired inside McKinley. We don't know anything."
Shots fired inside McKinley. Those four words rang loud and clear in his brain. He was pretty sure his dad was still talking, but his mind was now back at the message that he just read. Blaine. His beloved, beautiful, brave Blaine. He felt like he was going to be sick. He sat down on a bench outside NYADA and put his head between his legs.
"Dad…Blaine."
"I know son. Nobody knows anything."
"Dad…I love him. I always have. I need him to know that. I need him to remember that. Meanwhile, I'm checking flights now. I'll be on the first flight out."
Kurt said, but not really finding the energy to do much of anything. Kurt could hear his dad talking on the other end of the phone, and it sounded like Tina's voice. Just then Tina's voice was coming closer. She was on the phone with him.
"Kurt…Kurt…Blaine's inside…and I…I don't know. And I'm sorry. And I know…"
But Tina's thoughts got the best of her. She started sobbing, and Kurt did too. Suddenly, Kurt felt a hand on him, and he looked up to see Rachel standing with him, tears in her eyes as well. She was holding a bag of Kurt's luggage and two plane tickets. He promised Tina he'd call her back and told her to send wishes to his dad. Kurt pulled up Blaine's message and stared at it for a few minutes before replying back.
To: Blaine
Stay where you are. Don't move, don't blink. Don't breathe. Imagine all the good times, and I promise you puppy…I'm coming home to you soon. I'll be there my love…and I'm so sorry.
And Kurt sent the message and leaned against Rachel, letting her hold him while he cried for the man who was probably scared for his life back in the McKinley High choir room. He just kept sending messages in his head to Blaine, but mostly he just kept saying the one sentence over and over.
"I love you Blaine. Still. Please…just be okay."
'Cause I've lost loved ones in my life
Who never knew how much I loved them
Now I live with the regret
That my true feelings for them never were revealed
So I made a promise to myself
To say each day how much he means to me
And avoid that circumstance
Where there's no second chance to tell him how I feel
Blaine felt the phone vibrate in his pocket. He'd anticipated another message from his mom trying to calm him down, but then he looked at the name on the screen. He saw that it was a text from Kurt and he wanted to die just from sheer relief. He also had a message from Burt that he'd read after Kurt's message. He gasped, dropped his phone and fell face down onto the floor, his arms in his face to muffle his sobs. He was laying at Sam's feet, his phone face up so he could read the message and sobbing silently. Sam grabbed Blaine's phone and read the message that was on it. Kurt was coming home…for Blaine. Sam pulled his best friend up by his arm pits and held onto him while he cried.
"Blaine…shh. Kurt's coming to see you. You're going to be okay, Blaine. I promise you, okay?"
Blaine nodded his head and finally, the tears stopped. He couldn't cry anymore. He pulled away from Sam and straightened himself up. He wiped away the tears that were in his eyes and shook his head. Kurt was coming back to Lima…for him. No matter how freaked out he was, no matter how scared or lonely he was…Kurt was coming. And he said 'my love'. Blaine didn't want to expect anything, but he knew that he needed to be in Kurt's arms. He almost lost his life today, and he wouldn't cry anymore. He'd tell Kurt everything. Everything. He needed to. He'd promised himself that much. To tell Kurt his true feelings, no matter what. The lights came back on a few minutes later, and he breathed a sigh of relief. He went over and grabbed his backpack and sat down. He needed to compose himself before doing anything.
If tomorrow never comes
Will he know how much I loved him
Did I try in every way to show him every day
That he's my only one
And if my time on earth were through
And he must face this world without me
Is the love I gave him in the past
Gonna be enough to last
If tomorrow never comes
Kurt ran through the throngs of people that were dashing down the steps of McKinley High School. He knew Blaine was supposed to have Cheerios practice today, but all recent events had been canceled. Kurt knew that he was going to freak out soon unless he'd seen Blaine. And just then, he caught a glimpse of Blaine. His head was down, and he was dressed in the Cheerios uniform, and he looked terrified. Kurt couldn't hold himself back. He couldn't. He took off running at the highest speed he had and just kept calling out to him.
"Blaine! Blaine! Please! Look up!"
Blaine looked up at the sound of his name and saw Kurt coming at him. He started to cry again as the blue eyed man from his dreams came flying at him. He dropped his messenger bag on the ground where he was standing and ran towards Kurt. Kurt opened his arms and Blaine just sailed easily into them. He sniffed Kurt's cologne, the cologne he'd sent him for Christmas and started to sob harder.
"Kurt."
"Shh baby. I'm here. I'm here now. I'm so sorry, my love. I'm sorry I couldn't get here sooner."
"God, Kurt…I was so scared. I couldn't get out of there without telling you how much I loved you. I miss you. I love you. I'm sorry…I'm so sorry."
"No baby, not now. We're going to get you home so you can nap for a little while. And then we're going to talk. About us."
"Us? Is there an us?"
"I sure hope so, Puppy…I sure hope so. Come on, I've cleared it with your mom. You can stay with me for a few hours."
Kurt said, leading Blaine to his dad's car. He knew that there was so much to say to Blaine, and all of it could wait. For now though, he just wanted to get Blaine back to his dad's house and into his bed so he could hold on to him, and never let go. They drove in silence the whole way to Burt's, holding hands. Once they got to Burt's house, Burt came out on the front porch with Carole and pulled both boys into a hug. Blaine and Kurt would reconcile over this, Burt just knew it. He gave them both the go ahead to go down into the basement and didn't mind this time if the door was closed. They reached the bottom of the stairs and Kurt walked over to the bed. He pulled Blaine with him, and tugged him down gently on the bed. Kurt held him, often crying with him over the aspect of quite possibly losing him. And then the words came tumbling out of his mouth.
"I love you. You're my everything. I forgave you a long time ago…please…just don't ever leave me, Blaine."
"You know I won't Kurt. I'll never leave you."
And with that, Blaine and Kurt snuggled in the bed, and lost themselves in the feel of each other, never wanting to let go.
So tell that someone that you love
Just what you're thinking of
If tomorrow never comes
Two hours and a nap in Kurt's arms later, Blaine got up. He needed to go back to Westerville and Burt had agreed to drive him there. Kurt and Blaine walked hand in hand towards the car, and then Kurt spun Blaine around and looked him in those hazel-green eyes and said the words he'd needed to say to Blaine. Words he knew Blaine needed to hear.
"I love you, Blaine."
"And I love you Kurt, so much."
Blaine said, pressing his lips to Kurt's before getting in the car and waving at him, blowing kisses the whole way down the driveway. Kurt knew things were going to be okay now. Blaine knew that he was still in love with him…and that was all he'd ever needed.