Disclaimer: I did not and never will own Twilight, Stephanie Meyer does.

Edward.

Why?

Why did you have to leave me again?

All those promises. Those nights, those words. Did they mean nothing to you?

I don't understand, I can't comprehend, why you seem to think it "safer" for me

when you leave. I think you just don;t love me. I understand. It makes sense,

I'm not good enough, I was plain, and clumsy, and not smart. You deserved

better. But now, now I've been changed, I don;t know who did it. I don't know

when. All I know is that I burned, I burned for what seemed like years, though I

know it was only days. Now, I burn again, but not for the same reason. I burned

in my throat, the thirst, it was unbearable. It was all I could do to not expose

myself. Although I drink animal blood it doesn't quench the thirst completely.

But I have, over the years, found that human blood revolts me. I hurt too

Edward, you don't understand how much I hurt, and how much I feel alone. I've

been by myself for 32 years Edward. Jake tried to help, but it hurt him too much

and one day he even tried to attack me. It was then we realized we needed to

part.

I've wandered alone through the world. I want some companions, but I don't want

to have to steal innocent lives. I've been searching, and then I found them.

Alicia, and Ben. They had gotten into and awful car accident in which the car

flipped multiple times and landed in a ditch. As I got there I found they had

hours, maybe minutes, to live. So I take them and run. I bite them both, oh

Edward. You don't know how hard it was to not suck them dry, but I did it. They

have now been with me for 10 years. As we were walking through Forks one day (We

have to live there now, they refused to leave.) We found Elizabeth and Kyle.

They had been living as "vegetarians" as well, so they joined our coven. We

found a fantastic house on the coast. It's pretty much all made up of windows. I

love sitting in my room and watching all the birds and fish live their lives.

I'm miserable Edward, I don't know if I can live without you. All these years,

I've

tried to get over you, I even tried to die once or twice, though as we both

know jumping off cliffs and trying to drown does nothing to us. But It was worth

the shot. Oh Edward, why, why did you leave me?

I love you,

Bella.

I sighed. I'm going to have to stop writing these pathetic letters to a man who

doesn't love me I thought as I put it in the shoebox I hid under my bed full of

letters written but never sent or read by anyone but myself. I go sit in my

chair and stare out my window. I start to think and am abruptly pulled out of my

fantasy by Alicia yelling up to me to get ready because we had school in 20

minutes. I dresses in my most comfy outfit and changed my face around a bit

(this was one of the powers I received upon becoming a vampire as well as the

ability to move things with my mind, and of course, blush). I made my eyes light

green versus they're typical topaz color so as not to be recognizable. I grew a

bit, made my hair slightly longer with some reddish blonde highlights, I put on

my favorite dark wash True Religion skinny jeans and my white tank-top with a

dark blue sweater over and my favorite blue pumps. Threw on a little makeup,

fluffed my hair and

headed out the door, not looking half bad for getting dressed in under 10

minutes. Even though I was a vampire.

I slightly rushed down the stairs and into my silver Audi A5. Best known as

my baby. Alicia and Ben rode with me and Elizabeth and Kyle rode together in

their car. As we got at school (they all forced me to go to forks high school,

though I vehemently protested. It reminded me too much of him) I walked into the

office followed by my family, and we introduced ourselves as the Vreelands. At

least there's a new secretary, ahh, it's a boy, this should be fun. I flashed

the male secretary my most dazzling smile and used my sexy voice reserved for

moments like this. He looked away very quickly, still discombobulated he handed

us our slips and told us to get each line signed by each teacher. I flashed him

one last unforgettable smile and headed out the door.

As soon as we step outside Elizabeth (who much like Jasper can sense and change

emotions) turned to me and said too lowly and quickly for humans to hear.

"Bella, what the hell was that?" Elizabeth very nearly exclaimed. "that poor man

won't be able to concentrate for hours!"

I tried to keep a straight face but couldn't manage it. I had to let out a

little giggle, and pretty soon we were all laughing as we compared schedules. I

had periods one through six with Alicia and throughout those I had Kyle,

Elizabeth and Ben somewhere in there. But for the last two, I was sadly alone.

Everything was the same there at Forks. All the classrooms hadn't changed, and

all the seats were in the same place. I almost laughed out loud as I was placed

in the same seat as I was in as a human for every class. In every one of my

classes at least one boy stared at me through the whole period. English was the

funniest though. There was one boy who, I could swear, started drooling at one

point, I couldn't hold back a smile, the best part, was when (I know I shouldn't

have done it but I couldn't resist) I fully turned to him, flashed my best

smile, and winked. He just about passed right out. But in biology, I almost

cried, because I still

had the same seat, with no one next to me. Though boys stared in that class as

well, it wasn't funny, just depressing. He used to stare at me like that.

Lunch, was as boring as ever, we all bought unessacery food, and threw it

away within 20 minutes. We all had our last two periods and headed home. I had

homework but it didn't take me long, seeing as how I've been through High School

eight times. It was the same seating arrangement as this morning Alicia and Ben

in my car, Elizabeth and Kyle in theirs. I felt oddly disappointed, though I

didn't know why. I feel like I was expecting something. I guess I was expecting

him to show up and rescue me from this dreadfully boring town as he did before.

It didn't happen, but I felt like he was close.

Tonight, I wrote him another letter, explaining the pain he put me through,

down to the last minute detail. Then, I looked out my window at the ocean,

listening to the crashing waves relaxing until the morning when Alicia called up

to me again, today I decided to dress really sexily. I wore a denim skirt, it

was quite mini. Hot red strappy heels. With a low cut red v-neck that showed a

considerable amount of cleavage, some black eyeliner and some very glossy lip

gloss. I walked casually down the stairs and climbed into my Audi, waiting for

whoever was riding with me. As I pulled into the school parking lot I almost

wanted to run as fast as I could in any direction but forward, because there,

sitting the parking spot I claimed yesterday was a red convertible.