Hey look ma, no hands!
yep, love that song.

So HOLY FLIPPIN SHIT!
I finally got this thing written. I can't believe it seriously took me like 10 days to get this thing done. Wow.
But Mukuro is totally a hard character for me to write... he's just too suave lol. But I can bust some Fran out like nobody's damn business.
At least I hope I can.

Either way, I must give props to Woopa (who I made this one-shot for). She has waited very patiently. I hope I fulfill your expectations.
You are a cool chick. I hope you keep reading my stuff.

Now for the Protocol:
word count: 3,513

[I do not own any KHR characters]
The OC in this story is actually owned by MikaUchiha666 (very awesome writer if I say so myself)

Also give props to Ausumist who beta'd the story for me.

=Advice/Comments are loved=

enjoy kids
_Dee_

It is a peaceful night like any other. Byakuran has been defeated and those stupid brats (as Squalo refers to them) have zapped back to the past. The night is clear and hot, the wind light and easy. For the Varia leaders, you could say things are too peaceful. But this won't last long; it's poker night at Varia headquarters. Things always get crazy on poker night.

Fran is setting up the table for their coming guests in the study that all the Varia guardians usually hang out in while the Prince sits and watches. His finger is shoved deep in his nostril; there's a 'big' one hiding in there according to him. Fran looked at the ripper prince with his usual indifferent stare and said, "Master always said there are monsters in your nose that will eat your fingers if you pick your nose."

"I'll cut you up if you keep talking."

"You're really the worst kind of creature alive—truly warped."

Bel flicks his wrist.

"Bel-sempai, that hurt…" Fran's eyes are looking up apathetically at the knives stabbed in his large frog hat.

Bel is snickering with his finger right back in his nose.

"I'm going to tell on you to our idiot, long-haired commander. I'll ask for his permission to kill you sempai."

In the foyer of the mansion, Squalo is pacing back in forth in irritation. "Where the fuck is he?"

A woman's voice coolly chimes in over the sound of her clacking stilettoes, "You know how that overly zealous idiot is. Be patient Superbi."

Squalo looks back to the tall, slender redhead garbed in her usual pencil skirt and dress shirt that is overlaid by a matching vest. "Voii! Don't you be barking orders at me bitch! I'll fucking kill you with that bastard if you aren't careful."

Looking down to check the Pratt knot of her tie, she looks back to Squalo with a microscopic smirk, "If you think you can, fish boy." She walks back to the kitchen.

"Voii! Fuck you Karina!"

Inside the kitchen, Lussuria is humming to some new song by Selena Gomez*, or whoever, as he finishes up the rum punch he's made for the poker players. He's made an 'extra special' addition to the drink list this evening. Since Xanxus won't drink 'that fruity bitch shit,' Lussuria has prepared a wonderful bottle of red wine for the man. Xanxus will be in a state of Sweet Bliss after drinking this wine, the flamboyant man is sure of it.

The door opens, "How are the drinks coming along Lussuria?"

Lussuria gives a cheeky smile to the family's secretary, "They're almost done~. Will you be drinking with us tonight Missy?"

Karina eyes him, "You know I don't drink. Just water for me."

"Hmph, more for me then. By the way, your chignon* complements your heart shaped face well, Karina."

Lussuria inspects Karina's updo more as she walks towards the kitchen's island. As usual, the woman younger than him by 8 years threw her hair into the nape-centered bun perfectly; there isn't a single strand unkept. He felt a slight twinge of jealousy of her girl's deep read hair that is now fading to brown thanks to father time. 'How do she and Squalo keep their hair so well kept in with a the damn humidity around here?'

"Thank you, and take you time. Levi hasn't returned yet, though I can't say he will be returning tonight..."

Lussuria chuckled, "Oh poor Levi, to be hated by Karina… what a life~."

Karina's light green eyes inspect the pink liquid with the pungent spice of rum whirling around it; "Interesting." She takes a closer look noticing a bottle of wine next to the pitcher of punch."Sweet Bliss?"

"It's my new favorite. I know Xanxus will love it~!"

Karina gives him a tepid glance; "Ah. Well I'll leave you now."

The nak muay* sings, "Toodle loo~!"

Back in the study, the frog apprentice is now looking about the room for the poker chips and cards that Bel has hidden somewhere in there. The crowned prince is all smiles as the watches the green haired boy search aimlessly, "Ushishishi, stupid servant."

"How can I be servant to a fake prince?"

The wrist flicks once more.

"Oww. You put slices in my jacket. These aren't cheap either."

Bel grows more annoyed by Fran's nonchalance.

Fran gives a distant stare for a moment while his signature frown stays in place; "Oh. I think Master is here."

Bel smirk drops in surprise; Mukuro wasn't invited. Just as the extremely annoyed prince's grin is reappearing to initiate his rebuke, the door clicks open. Both Fran and the Cheshire Prince glance over to the sound.

Karina clicks and clacks her red heels against the marble floor, the destination being her office. She needs to grab her phone in case any emails or emergency calls come up while the men are all enjoying their night. Well, all of them but Levi. "Hmph, so glad an assignment came up last minute. Last thing I want is that buffoon confessing to me again."

Levi confessing is a usual occurrence that Karina has to deal with. The thunder leader has harbored feelings for her for a very long time, and gets the impression that he needs to remind her of this love every time he drinks too much. These confessions happen at least once a week. He is thrown into a wall every time, and the repairs come out of his paycheck. It has to be the facial hair he sports terribly.

No one will ever guess that she sent him to a S+M convention in Los Angeles. His target was a man that went by the name "C. M. Ride." She sweetly covered mouth as she chuckled to her obvious prank. It's not her fault that he believes any statement Xanxus rolls his eyes to.

"VOI!"

Karina looks back to the foyer that is a decent distance behind her, 'does he really have to always yell that? Seriously, expanding the vocabulary is always a good thing.' She continues down the hallway.

Of course, Squalo is in the foyer looking at a particular Mist guardian who wasn't invited to the poker game. At least he thought this. Fran has this wonderful quality of not sharing things with the rest of the group, which is all the more reason why his coworkers abuse him. No one finds his illusions or his pranks funny.

"What the fuck are you doing here?"

"Kufufu." Mukuro gives him a dominant glance; "My little apprentice invited me over to play." He also has business with a certain secretary.

"Fucking frog kid." Squalo's glance averts in the direction of the study.

"That's not very kind of you, Superbi."

"Shut the hell up, I'll kill you too."

"Kufufu, heart attacks are deadly things."

Squalo was about to really let his blood pressure skyrocket when he finally heard the clicks. Mukuro and the shark, who were a little too busy getting caught up in their unreserved banter, missed the sound of Karina's entrance into the foyer. Well, Squalo did anyways. Mukuro just acted as if he didn't care. Squalo's eyes widen, as the shark now knows of Karina's presence. 'Holy shit, the red-headed bitch is here."

"I think you should go ahead and start the poker game—I doubt Levi will be returning tonight. He is… " She chuckles, "very far away from Italy."

Squalo furrows his brows; it's never a good thing if Karina is laughing.

"It has been some time, Karina." Mukuro's velvety tone catches her.

She cocks a brow, "Hmph, Mr. Rokudo."

Mukuro keeps his suave expression while Karina walks off to the study to check on the two children, his eyes follow every sway of her pencil skirt. "Kufufu, Tanga."

Squalo barks, "What?"

Mukuro eyes the shark suggestively with a devilish smirk and walks away.

Fran's monotone voice spoke, "Oh hello Boss."

Xanxus, who is walking through the door, gives the two youngest leaders of Varia a glare as he saunters over to his favorite chair in the room. He plops himself in a comfortable position and mutters, "Wine."

Fran sighs, knowing he will be the one getting it. He walks out the room.

There is silence between the two biggest egos of the Varia elites. In the room covered with bookshelves all about, Bel is grinning at thin air and Xanxus is glaring at thin air. Let's guess which one looks dumber.

The one wearing a crown over a mop that's in need of a serious haircut?

Or the one that wears beads in his hair?

The two continue to sit in silence and stare off into empty space. Well, it can be said that Bel is staring off into empty space, but no one really knows since his hair is always hiding his eyes. He could be checking out his split ends for all we know. The door opens.

"Xanxus-sama, Mukuro Roduko has unexpectedly arrived for poker night, and I can't imagine that Levi will be making it home tonight." Karina is giving him a serious look.

Xanxus looks over to her and then rolls his eyes. "Fuck it."

"Are you going to play tonight?"

"…"

She knew by the tenor of his glare that it was a no, "Alright then."

"Wine. The usual."

"Ushishishi, I hope Fran brings the wrong kind."

Xanxus and Karina say in unison, "Shut up."

The study door opens a final time. Squalo, Lussuria, Mukuro, and Fran all enter this time around. Xanxus looks extremely annoyed by all of their presences. He came to the study to drink alone in silence, but decides that staying silent is his best bet. Mukuro, Bel, and Karina are in the same room—someone will definitely get killed tonight, or severely hurt. His silent wager is on Bel. It's evident that Karina likes Mukuro. The girl's just a bitch and refuses to submit to anyone; her only reason for staying with the Varia is the fact that she is allowed to kill any Varia employees that piss her off enough.

The men amble inside the room to the many chairs set around the poker table, except Fran, who is setting the correct wine and glass in front of Xanxus. Karina looks over, proud that she got inside the young illusionist's head, telling him to just ask Lussuria for the wine. Despite having her strong psychic abilities, Fran is a hard mind to creep into.

"You shouldn't play with other's playthings~."

Karina looks over to Mukuro; "It wasn't play."

"Then show me what play is~."

Squalo is glaring at them both, wondering why the hell they have to do this on poker night. Bel is thinking that the prince needs to find his own sex servant while throwing the deck of cards at Fran to shuffle. This all ties in with Lussuria feeling hot from the thought of a naked Mukuro on his bed, doing that signature hair flip of his. "Oh goodness~! Look at the Mukuro go!"

Karina rolls her eyes.

"Kufufuu."

Someone snaps their fingers.

"The next time I snap these fingers, I'll shoot you." Xanxus was glaring at Mukuro.

There was another awkward moment in the room, but it was hidden under Bel's snickers. Sir scarred-a-lot kept glaring at the mist user, and Mukuro looked at the boss with a cool expression, his lips curling at the edges to form a perfect smirk. Karina and Lussuria were both turned on by the man with a ponytail. Fran sighed; he sucks at shuffling cards only because there are too many ways to shuffle cards, and the young pupil can't ever decide which way to shuffle the deck.

"Shuffle the fucking deck already!" Squalo is already irritated with the night.

"But I can't decide which way to shuffle them."

"I should stab you for being so dumb." The Prince does a royal wrist flick

"Oww. I hope our bad tempered boss kills you."

Lussuria then offers some rum punch while Karina leans over Fran and swipes the cards away from the frog head. Little does the woman realize, that her boobs are pressing against the unfazed boy's face. "Secretary sempai, you have a small chest. You feel like you wear padding in your bra too."

There is now a moment of silence to reflect. All but Lussuria and Xanxus take a moment to ogle.

She doesn't respond, only deals the cards while the Mukuro and Bel chuckle at Fran's crass comments. She keeps her unmoved expression. The cards fly to each player smoothly as Karina's slender fingers flicked the cards about quickly. Squalo grumbles something about her taking too long.

Karina pulls herself up, slides her hands down her chest to make sure her outfit is in place, and kicks out one of the legs to Fran's chair.

"Oww, you're such a cold secretary."

"Oh Fran. You broke the chair… I guess a replacement will be docked from your pay."

Fran's rubbing his butt; "You're the worst."

"Excuse me?"

Fran knows better than to keep speaking… he's learned of Karina's silent fury.

Karina gives Fran another chair before leaving to get the poker players some more alcohol. Mukuro has started. She walks to the kitchen, grabbing the men's beers (they didn't want Lussuria's wussy shit), Lussuria his rum punch, and her-self what she thinks is water. Mukuro made her grab a bottle of Svedka.* One large swig, and she's walking back to the study.

Inside the room, the game is in full swing: Lussuria is complaining, Squalo and Bel are having "bad luck," and Mukuro is looking like a champ. Fran knows better than to beat the master.

Xanxus is not entertained by any of this in the least.

His wine is already half gone.

Fran walks from his seat to his teacher and whispers, "What are you doing to Karina, Master?"

He devilishly grins, "Winning."

"But she isn't playing poker."

"Watch, little one."

The next round goes into play, and while the boys are playing, they are also paying close attention to the redhead guzzling down the vodka like it's some kind of miracle juice. Lussuria was impressed, 'I should try and keep up.'

He knocked back his martini, "Karina sweety~! Can you make me another drink?"

She gives him a cute smile, "Sure!"

They all stop and stare.

She doesn't even notice and walks out.

"What the fuck?" Squalo is deterred by her unusual happiness

"Ushishishi, fuck yeah." Bel thinks he found his sex servant for the night.

Xanxus rolls his eyes while taking another sip of his red wine.

The new drink is in place, and a new 'bottle of water' sits in Karina's hands. In a chair outside of the circle like Xanxus, the secretary watches with an impressed eye while Mukuro further shows his poker finesse. Her eyes wander the room more to Lussuria, who is having a heated discussion about Krav Maga* with her. Then there is Squalo, squaking at Fran to hurry up. He pays no mind to the fact that Fran is a little preoccupied with a self appointed prince. Bel is stabbing Fran's frog head with his knives for god knows why. And Xanxus seems to be having one of those 'glaring contests' with Mukuro.

Xanxus knows what Mukuro is up to.

Mukuro gives him a smirk, chuckles to himself softly, and then flips his hair away wearing an even more smug expression than before. His eyes avert to Karina. She looks away from him. "Kufufufu…"

"Oh Mukuro~!" Lussuria is about to squeal like a kid in a candy store from such a hot sight.

"Master doesn't like cross-dressing pervert trannies."

"So what if he doesn't!"

"You should stick to boxing idiots."

Lussuria licks the corner of his lip and kicks the sixteen year old across the room, leaving a boot impression on his face.

"Can you not do that Pervert Tranny? I don't like to smell like women's perfume."

Squalo starts bitching again, "Will you fuckin—"

"What are you doing to that pineapple, Master?"

Everyone looks over to Mukuro, who mysteriously got his hands on a pineapple. "Kufufu, having a snack." The mist user pulls the top off the pineapple (as if it had already been cut) and somehow pulls a perfectly square chunk of the fruit out. He takes a bite.

Lussuria and Karina watch in a lustful manner as the pineapple's juice run down Mukuro's chin. Lussuria licks his lips and Karina closes her eyes. She will not allow herself to be caught divulging in her desire. Too bad she is already caught:

"Hic…" Karina's eyes snap open; her hand touches her mouth.

The men all stare at her.

"Ushishishi, checkmate."

"We aren't playing chess, stupid prince."

Xanxus rolls his eyes and takes another sip of his wine with his eyes closed, but the red liquid never touches his lips.

He opens an eye. Empty glass.

"Hmph." He tips the bottle over his glass to pour himself more.

Nada mas.*

The glare appeared:

"FUCK!"

The group of people all pestering the drunk and hiccuping secretary all look back to the bad-tempered boss whose eyes have somehow turned white. This whole night was pissing him off, and the wine was the only thing keeping him from 'killing these pieces of trash.' He pulled his gun out.

Karina stammers out, "B-boss! Hic."

"Time for the prince to resign to his quarters for the night." Bel throws his hand on the table

"Fuck, there goes the goddamn game!" Squalo is the only one who even cared about the poker game in the first place.

Then Fran wistfully mentions, "Fear has a funny way of ruining everything."

"Huh?" Karina looks at Fran questioningly. When the hell does that brat ever say anything about fear?

It is at this moment that the room begins to spin from the fire of a gunshot. Faces twist and voices distort—Karina finally realizes that she had been spun into an illusion. Her fury rises, and the illusion dissipates, leaving her inside a dark bedroom.

"This is my room." Karina tries to check her outfit, but quickly assesses that she has been tied up. She also notices that her clothes are getting wrinkled, which pisses her off.

"Master, the stiff and stupid secretary finally woke."

"Kufufu."

Karina turns her head left towards the door to her to room, finding two shadows. Of course she knew who they were by the voices, but she also can't miss that stupid frog shaped shadow on the shorter one's head. "May I ask why I've been tied up on my bed?" Her glare can't missed.

The taller one comes out of the shadows; his two eyes glinting separate motives under his serene disposition. "I need Karina for something important."

She raises an eyebrow, "Are you trying to recruit me like your little friends?"

"Friends? Kufufufu… They're more like my poor children."

"So you're trying to adopt me?"

Fran decides to rant his idea, "I think Master just wants to show you that you suck as a secretary. He also might be trying to show you that you need a sense of humor too."

"Quiet, little pupil." The mist master stabs his staff into his pupil's oversized hat. Fran lets a small frown appear in lieu of his head being transfixed. It hurt.

"Can you pull your staff out of my head? It hurts."

Karina watches the two ruffians counter each other in cavalier, yet snide remarks while she is using her telekinesis to pull her stiletto off. The two feign inattentiveness, and Karina stabs the heel of the red pump through Mukuro's neck. The guardian's body fizzles away, only to reappear on top of her, "Hmm, Karina looks better with her glasses on."

She tries to kick him. He blocks it with one hand, letting the fingers slide under her skirt. Her pale skin flushes to the cool tips sliding up her thigh. Her eyes fixate on the man's haunting smirk—he secretly bites the corner of his lip.

"Leave little one."

"Why?"

"Because Master is about to play adult games."

"Gotcha." Fran salutes his master and walks out of the room.

There is a small stint of silence between the two. Karina's breaths turn into pants as Mukuro began to undress her more. "What the fuck do you want from me?"

"Kufufu, a plaything~."

*Selena Gomez - some retarded Disney Channel (American) star my little cousins are obsessed with. The song he's singing is that one where she says "I love you like a love song, baby." I dunno. I don't listen to mainstream myself lol; going by what they little cousins keep singing.

*Chignon - Comes from the French phrase "chignon du cou," which means nape of the neck. They are generally achieved by pinning the hair into a knot at the nape of the neck or at the back of the head and are frequently worn for special occasions. But the basic chignon is also worn for everyday casual wear.

*Nak Muay - title given to any Muay Thai practitioner

*Svedka - a brand of Vodka (good stuff, pretty smooth flavor)

*Krav Maga - an eclectic martial art system developed in Israel that involves striking techniques, wrestling and grappling, mostly known for its extremely efficient and brutal counter-attacks, and is taught to regular and special forces in Israel

*Nada mas - (spanish) no more