Cipher
Dovesary
DisclaimerI do not own Loveless.
Author's Note: I guess you could say that this goes along with the first one-shot that I wrote for Yoji and Natsuo. I have a thing for the two little sadists.
Cipher.
That's what we are.
What we were created to be.
Something of no value or importance.
We were produced to be the ultimate.
Weapon.
Machine.
Device.
Choose your own words to describe us, but this… that is what I know we are.
To touch us is to feel fleshy skin, silky hair, hardened muscle. We're human.
Are you sure that's true?
We have feelings but we can't feel.
We won't feel the tips of your fingers gliding across our skin, or your hand in our hair.
Mentally, we'll know that they're there; we'll see that they are there, touching us, but our brains won't register the contact. It's as though….
As if…
Our nervous system isn't connected correctly.
Like, we're wired differently.
We can actively coordinate our muscles, we can monitor our organs, and we can initiate actions, movements, but…
I don't think we have any receptors.
Like…sensory input?
Yes, exactly.
Receptors are parts of the nervous system that sense changes in the internal or external environments. Sensory input can be in many forms, including pressure, taste, sound, light, blood pH, or hormone levels, that are converted to a signal and sent to the brain or spinal cord.
Laugh. Why do you know what?
Research. Anyway, since the central nervous system is mainly the brain and it controlling movement and whatnot, and the endocrine is hormones, then our problem must lie in the peripheral nervous system.
…The what?
Sigh. The peripheral nervous system is like, for lack of a better metaphor, a communication system. It sends messages to the brain from the body. Neurons carry messages in the form of electrical impulses. The messages move from one neuron to another to keep the body functioning. Got it?
Sure…
Now, normally, neurons have a very hard time repairing themselves if damaged. Unlike other body tissues, nerve cells cannot also be repaired if damaged due to injury or disease. But maybe ours aren't damaged. Maybe we're just…wired incorrectly. Maybe she did something to us to make us like that.
Maybe we can fix it?
Please, stop. I don't want false hope.
But in the other Zero group, the girls, that one could feel. Don't you see? Maybe there's a way to fix it. To fix us. We can do everything except feel. It's so little!
Glare. It is not little!
No, not the fact that we can't feel, but out of all of the problems that the nervous system can produce, this could be so easy to repair…maybe…hopefully.
You're not even sure if it can be done at all, are you?
…
I didn't think so.
Please, please don't give up. You're the optimistic one, after all.
Pssh. I am not. We're both pessimistic.
…Okay, maybe, but you're less of a pessimist than I am. Please. I'm begging you. Do not give up. Don't you want to try it?
But…we're Zero...
You really don't want to be able to feel? Don't you want to be able to feel this?
Gasp. Sort of…I've heard it's amazing. At least, that's what Soubi said. He tried to describe it to me but—
Are you afraid?
…
That's it, isn't it? You're afraid.
I am not!
Don't you dare lie to me! We've been together longer than I can remember. We always tell each other everything. Please don't start lying now. Tell me the truth: are you afraid of it?
…yes. I am. What if…what if it's not so great? Being able to feel…do we really need it? I mean, it'll hurt whenever we get a paper cut, and it'll be painful whenever we burn our tongues on too-hot cocoa…those are things we never had to worry about before.
True, but what about all the pleasures that come with the pain? You'll be able to feel it whenever I have my mouth on you, and you will be able to feel the gratification of coming in my mouth. Don't you want that? With bad things come good. You must accept that fact if you ever want this to work. I want to feel, but I won't look in to it any more if you don't want it.
Now, do you want it?
…
Yes or no?
Yes… I want it.
Well, that was certainly not how I planned on writing this story. I had a completely different idea in my mind…Anyway, I hope that you could tell that it was two different people talking. Who is who, you ask? Well, only I know! 3
Please review! It makes me want to write more naughty goodness…even though this one wasn't very naughty…oh well.