Disclaimer- don't own it. Get over it. And if you're a Sakura fan, sorry, but you might not like this chapter too much. Or at least the parts that have to do with her. Sorry, but I fucking hate Sakura more than anyone could ever imagine. Also, I apologize to any Brittany Spears fans as well.

!!!!!!!! TO ANYONE WHO READS MY STUFF AND WAS WAITING FOR ME TO UPDATE!!!!!!!!

I am so sorry I haven't updated in forever! We had money problem so we had to give up our internet service for a while, trust me, you aren't the only one who suffered. With no internet, no games, and no food, I about died. When I get bored, I eat. (and I'm still thin as a twig, its so weird!) but with nothing to eat, I found myself playing solitaire while knawing (sp?) on the desk. T.T

Buuuuuutttt...Since I was gone for so long and you had to suffer without my fanfics, (not that you cared) I made you a present! And here it is!

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A raven haired teen stalked out of the classroom and into the courtyard, shoving past crowds of oblivious students. A few seconds later, a teary eyed, girly looking blonde teen came running out of the classroom, chasing after the other.

"Uchiha-kun!!!! Come back!" He yelled as he ran after him.

Sasuke ignored him and just kept walking. He re-entered the building through the library, walked right through, into a hallway and up a flight of stairs to his dorm room. The blond ran up to the door second later, just in time to here the lock click angrily. He slumped down in front of the door, his skirt floofing out round him. He leaned forward and his head hit the closed door.

"Why are you so meeeeaaaan Uchiha-kun!" he whined. Another student, Shikimaru, came strolling through the hall to see what he thought was a cute blond chick at Sasuke's door. He walked over to her.

"Hey, are you okay?"

Shikimaru's eyes where met with a pair of watery crystal ones.

"He's meeeeeeeaaaaann!" The blond said, pointing at the closed door.

That he is, but to kick a chick out of your room? He must be peeved about something. Shikimaru went over and helped her up. "What did he do?"

"He said I was stupid because I'm wearing a skirt." He pouted.

"Huh? What's wrong with a cute chick wearing a skirt?"

"I'm not a chick."

"What?" Shikimaru said, thinking he might of misheard her.

"I'm a guy."

"No way."

"really! See?" He patted the front of his shirt. "no boobs!"

Shikimaru was quite frazzled by now.He sighed. "What's your name? I'm Nara Shikimaru."

"Uzamaki Naruto."

A blond, pigtailed head poked up from behind Shikimaru, and Naruto was about to say something, when the girl held a finger up to keep him quiet. She grinned evilly, then reached around and clapped really loudly in front of Shikimaru's face. His eyes got big and he jumped back.

"Boo!" She said playfully as he recovered from near heart failure.

"Temari, your so evil sometimes."

"Whose the cute chick Shika?" She wrapped her arms around Shikimaru and looked at Naruto. "He's mine, don't get any ideas."

"It's okay, he's not a she he's a he." Shikimaru said, still surprised himself.

"No way!" Temari walked up to Naruto and yanked down the front of his shirt. "Oh damn, you weren't kidding!"

Naruto peeked around Temari and looked at Shikimaru. "She's blunt."

"I know." He said, taking Temari's arm and pulling her away before she can do anymore harm. "So, Naruto, where's your room?"

"Ummm..." He knelt down and rustled around in his bag, finally pulling out a blue slip of paper. "room 108-A"

Temari and Shikimaru rolled their eyes. "That's Sakura's room. She's a slutty ditz that probably only got into this college by sleeping with the principal."

"Don't talk about my beautiful flower like that!" A voice said. A cheerful teen in a green jumpsuit came spinning, yes, spinning, up to the three. Sakura is a beautiful spirit, just waiting for the right man to come along, and it will be soon, as soon as she notices my internal beauty!"

Naruto inconspicuously slipped behind Shikimaru, and Lee didn't notice him. Instead he went to open the door to Sasuke's room, but slammed into it, because it was locked. "oh Sasuke, uncheerful as you may be, you should not block my cheerful chi, for it is healthy for you to experience. Please unlock the door!" The door unlocked and lee slipped in, then the door slammed shut again, and locked.

"Why did Uchiha-kun let that creep in?" Naruto said to Shikimaru.

"They are roomies. Sasuke hates his guts, but there isn't much he can do about it. Oh well. Follow us, we'll show you to your room. And make sure Sakura doesn't find out you are a guy, or you might lose your virginity."

"How do you know if he's a virgin or not Temari?"

"He's to innocent not to be."

"So blunt" Naruto sighed.

"So, why are you wearing a skirt anyways?" Temari asked.

"Cause it's cute!"

"Oh, that explains everything!" Shikimaru said, slapping his hand to his forehead. "I thought it was a bit weird that Sasuke was mad at you for such a small thing. And you're a new student, so you couldn't have done anything that would have made him so mad so easily. You're gay aren't you!"

Naruto blushed. "No." At his last school, he had ended up friendless for admitting he was gay. He wasn't about to make the same mistake twice.

"It's okay, a lot of people are gay at this school, you wont get made fun of." Temari said as if she had read his mind.

"are you sure?"

"yes. So you are gay?"

"Yeah."

"and Sasuke figured that out already. That's why he's pretending to hate you."

"He's a homophobe?"

"No, he just doesn't want to give himself a chance to like you, because he's afraid what happened last time will happen again."

"What happened?"

"There was a guy that came to this school and he was friends with some of Sasuke's enemies, but Sasuke didn't know that. Then his enemies found out he was gay, so they sent the kid to hit on Sasuke, and Sasuke ended up falling in love with him, and then the kid totally blew him off and pretty much broke his heart into a million pieces. The kid left the school though. Sasuke doesn't want anything like that to happen again, so he pretends to be straight, but you can tell he's not."

Naruto was big eyed and his mouth was hanging open. " that's horrible. I don't blame him for being mad at me, but I wish he wouldn't hate me."

"I think it's mostly because you look kinda like him."

"the kid?"

"yeah."

They arrived at Naruto's room by the time they had finished talking. Temari pushed the door open to reveal a very girly room that stunk of perfume and hairspray. There was a pink haired girl sitting on a bed painting her nails.

"Hey slut, we brought your roommate. Don't scare her too bad." Temari sneered.

"Out porcupine. And take that trash bag with you." She said to Shikimaru. She refused to talk to Temari; they hated each other.

"good luck, and remember- you are a chick. Or you will get raped" Temari whispered to Naruto before they left the room.

Naruto went and sat down on the corner of the bed, the rest was covered in a heap of slutty clothing.

"Hey. Put that pile of clothes over there in the corner. And try not to take up too much space." She leaned over and pressed a button on her pink radio, and Brittany Spears started playing. Naruto piled all the clothes into the corner like she said, and was about to lay on his bed, when there was a knock on the door. Naruto opened it and there was a red haired boy standing there, with a grumpy look on his face. Floating around him, held up by what looked like floating sand, was Naruto's luggage.

"I was walking by the office and they saw me, so they had me carry all this stuff here. I guess it's yours." He mumbled.

"Uh, yeah, thank you!"

The luggage floated past him and was stacked neatly next to his bed, then the sand retreated into a jar that the redhead was holding out.

"I normally carry it in a gourd but they wont let me carry it around."

"I see. I'm Uzamaki Naruto! I'm new, obviously."

"Gaara."

"Cool!"

"you sure are odd."

"yeah, sorry about that..."

"but for a guy, you sure look cute in a skirt."

"You're the first one that knew I was a guy!"

"huh. Not that hard to tell. Probably easier to tell if you're gay."

Naruto blushed. "Yeah, I guess."

"Yeah. Bye." He turned and walked away, one hand in his pocket and the other cradling the jar of sand.

What an odd guy...but he reminded me of Sasuke, his grumpy attitude... And I guess Shikimaru was right, there are gay people here...cool!

Naruto went over to his bed and pulled off the pink comforter and sheets, and pillowcases. He dug in one of his suitcases and pulled out his orange sheets, orange pillowcases and black comforter. He put them on, then found his pajamas with froggies on them. He slipped into the closet to get dressed, so Sakura didn't see anything. He came out and she was looking at his bed like it had just talked or something.

"What?" He said innocently.

"Black? and orange?"

"yup!"

"It's hideous! Those are Halloween colors!"

"I like my bed spread thank you. Goodnight" He crawled into bed, trying to ignore the splitting headache he was getting from the smell of perfume, hairspray, and nail polish. And the Brittany Spears definitely wasn't making anything better.

Two hours later, he still lie awake in his bed. It got to the point where he couldn't stand it. He took his blanket and his teddy bear, and left the room. He walked down the hall until he saw the room that Temari pointed out earlier. It was hers and Shikimaru's. He knocked lightly on the door and Temari peeked out the door a few seconds later.

"yeah?" she mumbled groggily.

"sorry to bother you but the smell of that room has put me on the verge of throwing up, and she's still blasting Brittany Spears." he said.

"Come in."

He stepped into the room. Shikimaru was fast asleep on one of the beds, and the other one looked like someone had just crawled out of it. Temari hopped back onto her bed and scooted back so there was room for another person.

"Crawl in" she said, pointing to the space.

"but, I thought guys weren't supposed to sleep in the same bed as a girl unless they were dating or something..."

"Well, if you want you can sleep in his bed, but he flops around like a fish all night. And besides, that only counts for strait people. You're gay so technically, you shouldn't sleep in the same bed as a guy. Not that it really matters anyways."

Naruto shrugged and crawled into the bed. "thanks"

"no problem, I don't think anyone can survive a night in that room. I'll see what I can do tomorrow to get your room changed."

"okay." he snuggled into his pillow and fell asleep instantly.

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Well, there's the first chapter. I know a lot of people don't like fics where Naruto is portrayed as a girl, or is just flat out girly. Don't worry, that will change. Just give it another chapter. And for those that do like it, enjoy it while it lasts. And do not fear, he isn't going to turn all macho and manly or anything. Just read and you shall find out. Well, hope you liked it!

Luv, The Unknown Author Of Doom.

-skips away singing the doom song-