Puddles
Kelly Noel
11-05-03 – 01-17-04
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Authoress Notes:
"I grew bored and fell into a giant puddle when I tripped on my way off of the bus. Inspiration hits me in such cruel ways… *sniffle* Oh the agony…"
"I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh. That's Takahashi-sensei's job." ^-^
"This happens after Bakura-kun fails um…'The Test' in the Manga. I think it is in act 285… I'm often wrong. So DO NOT take my word on it. A few SPOILERS and a theorized ending of the Ancient Egypt Arc, along with my own view on a certain character never shown in the Manga, all that good fan stuff…"
-Kelly Noel
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Puddles… curious things they are.
Stepped on… like my heart
Played with… like my emotions
As I sit here on this park bench, starring at my sullen face through the reflection of the water, tears from the sky splash on to my face merging with the salty ones, from my eyes. No one cares, I've said that before, but this time I know it's true.
If they cared they wouldn't have risked my life for a card.
If they cared they wouldn't have let me be hurt by a card.
If they cared they wouldn't have let me die at the hands of a card.
I sighed, watching the puddle grow in size, my anguish and sorrow depended, the puddle's reflection sighed back at me. The reflection reminded me of him, the darker conscious that once thrived with in me. But he, like everyone else is dead; to me at least, or rather I am dead to them.
When you think about it we weren't all that different, him and me. My other conscious, my "yami", I mean. We were both always eternally alone, until we found each other. I secretly loved his presence within me, no matter what he did to me or those around me. He protected me and kept me forever as his companion, until I betrayed him in hope of a better way. A way that left me to where I am today:
Eternally alone.
I watched the raindrops continue to beat down mercilessly; my blue eyes had turned almost a dead coal color when they came into view in the puddle's faltering reflection. My silver hair was carelessly blown around by a brief wind, which also caused the puddle to roughen. My reflection smudged till it was hardly recognizable.
Because I had betrayed him he turned against me, taking over my body in an attempt to finish what he had started. He wanted the Sennen Items now, and didn't care who he had to hurt to get them. Especially me. My arm still bleeds from when he struck me; I still remember the agonizing pain as he allowed for me to regain consciousness just to feel the pain of the blade slicing deep into my skin. When or if, it should ever heal the reminder of my betrayal to him will always remain, remain forever in that long scar; remain eternally in my heart. He had taken the final step; he had gone so far that no one could save him from the back abyss of his heart. He was no longer my "yami", my partner, my other conscious… he was the very definition of evil. He had become the darkness.
The tears rained down harder now, no one in this world could be trusted. Not even myself. Just as my so called "friends" has abandoned me, I too had abandoned them and more. Perhaps if I was given a second chance at the life that could have been, but as hard as I try I know a second attempt is futile. Fate destined me to die alone, to betray those I loved, to destroy everything with a faint shimmer of hope.
Perhaps it's better this way, at least now I could no longer torment the ones around me. I could no longer have selfish desires I knew I could never attain. I could no longer…
I felt a sharp pain from my back as the growth of two red and black leathery wings occurred. The pain was blinding as I collapsed to the ground, falling face first into the puddle. As the pain started to numb after what seemed like hours of agonizing screams, I could clearly taste the blood that ran freely with the waters of the puddle. I weakly climbed to my knees, and turned my head ever so slightly. The back of my black trench coat had split open as the large demonic wings fluttered somewhat, crimson liquid leaked from both my spine and wings. The tips of my hair were bathed in my own blood.
I began to cry, adding to the size of the blood soiled waters beneath me. Did I truly deserve this? To suffer… like this? Why? Why did I have to be the one God mercilessly took his rage out upon? I stared at the puddle; I could feel its heart beating between my fingers. Suddenly a figure formed in front of me, gathering its form from the puddle's standing water. I lifted my head up, the side of my face stained with watered down blood, and looked to see what had come to me this time. This act was in vain as my dead eyes could only see a blackened darkness. A darkness that slowly consumed me.
"Oni-chan." A child like voice whispered, I felt her fingers graze my face. They felt cold against my numb skin, but I knew I could no longer trust what I felt anymore.
"Oni-chan?" I mouthed confused; no one had called me that in what seemed like centuries. I could feel her eyes continue to stare at me as I blinked, trying to remember where I'd heard this sad voice before.
"You're never alone Oni-chan. I made a promise to you along time ago; a promise that you will always have me at your side, no matter what happens." She kneeled down to me, so we were face to face; her translucent fingers grazed my blood splattered cheek affectionately. My own darkened eyes widened, I remembered this feeling from somewhere once before. A warm feeling…
"T-this feels…" I started, clouded eyes, watering with tears, "This feels familiar…" I barely whispered, head resting back down in the soiled puddle, feeling the warmth smiling down on my face. Her hands lifted my head upward from the water; I could almost see a faint light from within the barricades of my mind.
"Oni-chan, why are you so sad?" Her voice caressed my worn body; I wanted to hear more of her sweet voice, even if it prolonged my desired demise.
"Because…" I started my voice hoarse. "Because I am alone." The faint light began to dim; I could sense her face grimace.
"Oni-chan," My heart fluttered as I felt her hands pull me closer to her, embracing me in a clasp. I recognized this gesture from a time that seemed so long ago. It too felt familiar. "I am always with you. Is that not enough for you to feel secure?" Her silky dress brushed across my face as the pleasant smell of lilacs filled my lungs, the smell of rotting corpses and blood was hidden underneath her sweet aroma.
"I need someone like you here." I whispered, feeling my problems wipe away as she wiped away the blood from my face. "Always and forever." Her grip around my shoulders tightened, her love and affection for me evident, but still I could not place the word for the way she tightly embraced me, like mother and child. Like brother and-
"I am here. Always and forever." She defended, brushing her face against my own. Her creamy skin felt warm against my cold numb face. I could almost taste the small droplets of liquid that slowly trickled down from her face.
"Not… like this." I mumbled back, feeling like an infant. My back still ached and bled freely as the vision in my blue eyes faintly returned. I wanted to see this girl who was so innocent, so pure. Who was she? "You're not always here to hold me." I replied, digging my face farther into her, in hopes of some of her rubbing off onto me.
"No… you're right. I'm not always here like this." She admitted, running her hand through my silver hair, catching her delicate fingers on my blood splattered ends. "But that's why you have frie-"
"Stop…" I whimpered, as tears began to drip down from my face. The rain hardened, beating down in icy bullets, all aimed towards my heart. I could feel the light that was her face begin to dim again; was she too going to give up on me- or was I giving up on her like I'd done to so many before? "They all left. I pushed them away." I sobbed; I could slowly feel myself shrinking back into the concaves of my mind, the darkness feeding off of me.
"You can get them back." She reassured, her weakened brace suddenly tightened as her warmth began to pull me back out of my fate. "They still love you Oni-chan. It's just… they don't know how to approach you anymore when you continuously push away." Removing my head from her lap I looked up, still unable to make out anything, but my vision, though blurry, had returned. A little fog had lifted.
"How?" I asked, wide eyed, as I felt a smile cross her face. This felt familiar too, but it had been so long since my smiles actually portrayed how I felt within. "How can I be with them? They won't even come near me now that they've seen my truth." My head hopelessly resettled back on her lap. I was prepared to depart from this world. "I'm not pure like them. I don't deserve them..." She shook her head and grabbed my face, pulling it towards her own.
"No Oni-chan!" She shouted, as her tears flowed more profoundly, I could feel her heart beat as she pulled me close to her chest. "You aren't pure and I realize that. No one is pure." Her grip on me tightened, my eyes went wide. She cared so much for me… why? "No one can ever achieve absolute purity and the same goes for its opposite. You are only human. Humans have the ability to change. You can change Oni-chan!" I looked up; the darkness began to clear at a faster pace as her heavenly voice cleansed my stained soul. "The scale only tilted a small fraction, Oni-chan." She said, quieting down. "Your descent into the shadows has only just begun. If you can change, if you can find your true self; you can be like them. If you feel alone just think of them or even of the other you. They still need and love you even if it doesn't feel that way and you know my love for you will always remain forever in your heart, Oni-chan."
"Who are you?" I asked, as the darkness cleared almost completely from my eyes. A slight haze still remained. A slight haze that reminded me of what I had to do now. I could make out soft blue eyes that matched my own, and long silver hair that was parted similar to my own silver tresses. Behind her rested a pair of her own dragon wings, in contrast to my own. Hers were whitish blue where as mine were black and blood soaked crimson. Her creamy white complexion was ghostly as I felt her lips on my forehead.
"When the scales of your own heart become balanced, you will know Oni-chan." She whispered gently into my ear before she turned to take her leave back into the puddle. I felt the heartbeat of the puddle die from under me as she disappeared. I felt a burden lift off my back as the wings that had once graced my back were gone and the rainy skies above cleared until a slightly hazy sky was revealed. I stood up, using the bench behind me to help me up. I blinked, as I saw who sat before me.
"I'm back." He sighed, throwing his translucent body backwards onto the bench. His darkened expression, his wild hair, and his narrow eyes; it could only be…
"Other I?" I asked; confused at why he sat before me. He never did this. Were these the changes that the young girl spoke of? Did she cause this to happen?
"Yeah. It's me. What's with that expression? You look like you just saw a ghost." He stood, folding his arms over his chest. Obviously his plans must have gone wrong again with the attitude he now had, but I couldn't help but feel that something within him had changed. I looked at him, the light fog still hovered over my eyes, but I could still see the difference in his expression. It seemed almost happy… "What?" He asked as his voice broke through my thoughts.
"Nothing." I responded, timid as he looked at me unconvinced. I was curious as to where the others were, to see if I could be like my yami and change. His was subtle, but it would grow in time, I hoped. I wanted to make the same progress. I wanted to eventually balance too.
"Yugi-tachi and the others are back." He said, I snapped to attention wondering if he'd read my mind. "I don't mind if you go to them." I smiled warmly, as I could feel the tiny light inside my heart grow.
"Only if you come with me, other I." He looked at me, taken back. "We both have some purifying to do. Why do it alone when we can do it together?" He smiled at me, not the sadistic insane smile I saw on him the last time we met face to face, but a real smile reflecting the inner light within him.
"If you insist." He said his translucent hand fitting around my own, as a similar warmth seemed to be shared between us. I knew it wouldn't be easy for either of us, but we could both obtain a balanced scale. We could both obtain a balanced heart.
Puddles… curious things they are indeed.
Kelly Noel
11-05-03 – 01-17-04
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Authoress Notes:
"I grew bored and fell into a giant puddle when I tripped on my way off of the bus. Inspiration hits me in such cruel ways… *sniffle* Oh the agony…"
"I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh. That's Takahashi-sensei's job." ^-^
"This happens after Bakura-kun fails um…'The Test' in the Manga. I think it is in act 285… I'm often wrong. So DO NOT take my word on it. A few SPOILERS and a theorized ending of the Ancient Egypt Arc, along with my own view on a certain character never shown in the Manga, all that good fan stuff…"
-Kelly Noel
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Puddles… curious things they are.
Stepped on… like my heart
Played with… like my emotions
As I sit here on this park bench, starring at my sullen face through the reflection of the water, tears from the sky splash on to my face merging with the salty ones, from my eyes. No one cares, I've said that before, but this time I know it's true.
If they cared they wouldn't have risked my life for a card.
If they cared they wouldn't have let me be hurt by a card.
If they cared they wouldn't have let me die at the hands of a card.
I sighed, watching the puddle grow in size, my anguish and sorrow depended, the puddle's reflection sighed back at me. The reflection reminded me of him, the darker conscious that once thrived with in me. But he, like everyone else is dead; to me at least, or rather I am dead to them.
When you think about it we weren't all that different, him and me. My other conscious, my "yami", I mean. We were both always eternally alone, until we found each other. I secretly loved his presence within me, no matter what he did to me or those around me. He protected me and kept me forever as his companion, until I betrayed him in hope of a better way. A way that left me to where I am today:
Eternally alone.
I watched the raindrops continue to beat down mercilessly; my blue eyes had turned almost a dead coal color when they came into view in the puddle's faltering reflection. My silver hair was carelessly blown around by a brief wind, which also caused the puddle to roughen. My reflection smudged till it was hardly recognizable.
Because I had betrayed him he turned against me, taking over my body in an attempt to finish what he had started. He wanted the Sennen Items now, and didn't care who he had to hurt to get them. Especially me. My arm still bleeds from when he struck me; I still remember the agonizing pain as he allowed for me to regain consciousness just to feel the pain of the blade slicing deep into my skin. When or if, it should ever heal the reminder of my betrayal to him will always remain, remain forever in that long scar; remain eternally in my heart. He had taken the final step; he had gone so far that no one could save him from the back abyss of his heart. He was no longer my "yami", my partner, my other conscious… he was the very definition of evil. He had become the darkness.
The tears rained down harder now, no one in this world could be trusted. Not even myself. Just as my so called "friends" has abandoned me, I too had abandoned them and more. Perhaps if I was given a second chance at the life that could have been, but as hard as I try I know a second attempt is futile. Fate destined me to die alone, to betray those I loved, to destroy everything with a faint shimmer of hope.
Perhaps it's better this way, at least now I could no longer torment the ones around me. I could no longer have selfish desires I knew I could never attain. I could no longer…
I felt a sharp pain from my back as the growth of two red and black leathery wings occurred. The pain was blinding as I collapsed to the ground, falling face first into the puddle. As the pain started to numb after what seemed like hours of agonizing screams, I could clearly taste the blood that ran freely with the waters of the puddle. I weakly climbed to my knees, and turned my head ever so slightly. The back of my black trench coat had split open as the large demonic wings fluttered somewhat, crimson liquid leaked from both my spine and wings. The tips of my hair were bathed in my own blood.
I began to cry, adding to the size of the blood soiled waters beneath me. Did I truly deserve this? To suffer… like this? Why? Why did I have to be the one God mercilessly took his rage out upon? I stared at the puddle; I could feel its heart beating between my fingers. Suddenly a figure formed in front of me, gathering its form from the puddle's standing water. I lifted my head up, the side of my face stained with watered down blood, and looked to see what had come to me this time. This act was in vain as my dead eyes could only see a blackened darkness. A darkness that slowly consumed me.
"Oni-chan." A child like voice whispered, I felt her fingers graze my face. They felt cold against my numb skin, but I knew I could no longer trust what I felt anymore.
"Oni-chan?" I mouthed confused; no one had called me that in what seemed like centuries. I could feel her eyes continue to stare at me as I blinked, trying to remember where I'd heard this sad voice before.
"You're never alone Oni-chan. I made a promise to you along time ago; a promise that you will always have me at your side, no matter what happens." She kneeled down to me, so we were face to face; her translucent fingers grazed my blood splattered cheek affectionately. My own darkened eyes widened, I remembered this feeling from somewhere once before. A warm feeling…
"T-this feels…" I started, clouded eyes, watering with tears, "This feels familiar…" I barely whispered, head resting back down in the soiled puddle, feeling the warmth smiling down on my face. Her hands lifted my head upward from the water; I could almost see a faint light from within the barricades of my mind.
"Oni-chan, why are you so sad?" Her voice caressed my worn body; I wanted to hear more of her sweet voice, even if it prolonged my desired demise.
"Because…" I started my voice hoarse. "Because I am alone." The faint light began to dim; I could sense her face grimace.
"Oni-chan," My heart fluttered as I felt her hands pull me closer to her, embracing me in a clasp. I recognized this gesture from a time that seemed so long ago. It too felt familiar. "I am always with you. Is that not enough for you to feel secure?" Her silky dress brushed across my face as the pleasant smell of lilacs filled my lungs, the smell of rotting corpses and blood was hidden underneath her sweet aroma.
"I need someone like you here." I whispered, feeling my problems wipe away as she wiped away the blood from my face. "Always and forever." Her grip around my shoulders tightened, her love and affection for me evident, but still I could not place the word for the way she tightly embraced me, like mother and child. Like brother and-
"I am here. Always and forever." She defended, brushing her face against my own. Her creamy skin felt warm against my cold numb face. I could almost taste the small droplets of liquid that slowly trickled down from her face.
"Not… like this." I mumbled back, feeling like an infant. My back still ached and bled freely as the vision in my blue eyes faintly returned. I wanted to see this girl who was so innocent, so pure. Who was she? "You're not always here to hold me." I replied, digging my face farther into her, in hopes of some of her rubbing off onto me.
"No… you're right. I'm not always here like this." She admitted, running her hand through my silver hair, catching her delicate fingers on my blood splattered ends. "But that's why you have frie-"
"Stop…" I whimpered, as tears began to drip down from my face. The rain hardened, beating down in icy bullets, all aimed towards my heart. I could feel the light that was her face begin to dim again; was she too going to give up on me- or was I giving up on her like I'd done to so many before? "They all left. I pushed them away." I sobbed; I could slowly feel myself shrinking back into the concaves of my mind, the darkness feeding off of me.
"You can get them back." She reassured, her weakened brace suddenly tightened as her warmth began to pull me back out of my fate. "They still love you Oni-chan. It's just… they don't know how to approach you anymore when you continuously push away." Removing my head from her lap I looked up, still unable to make out anything, but my vision, though blurry, had returned. A little fog had lifted.
"How?" I asked, wide eyed, as I felt a smile cross her face. This felt familiar too, but it had been so long since my smiles actually portrayed how I felt within. "How can I be with them? They won't even come near me now that they've seen my truth." My head hopelessly resettled back on her lap. I was prepared to depart from this world. "I'm not pure like them. I don't deserve them..." She shook her head and grabbed my face, pulling it towards her own.
"No Oni-chan!" She shouted, as her tears flowed more profoundly, I could feel her heart beat as she pulled me close to her chest. "You aren't pure and I realize that. No one is pure." Her grip on me tightened, my eyes went wide. She cared so much for me… why? "No one can ever achieve absolute purity and the same goes for its opposite. You are only human. Humans have the ability to change. You can change Oni-chan!" I looked up; the darkness began to clear at a faster pace as her heavenly voice cleansed my stained soul. "The scale only tilted a small fraction, Oni-chan." She said, quieting down. "Your descent into the shadows has only just begun. If you can change, if you can find your true self; you can be like them. If you feel alone just think of them or even of the other you. They still need and love you even if it doesn't feel that way and you know my love for you will always remain forever in your heart, Oni-chan."
"Who are you?" I asked, as the darkness cleared almost completely from my eyes. A slight haze still remained. A slight haze that reminded me of what I had to do now. I could make out soft blue eyes that matched my own, and long silver hair that was parted similar to my own silver tresses. Behind her rested a pair of her own dragon wings, in contrast to my own. Hers were whitish blue where as mine were black and blood soaked crimson. Her creamy white complexion was ghostly as I felt her lips on my forehead.
"When the scales of your own heart become balanced, you will know Oni-chan." She whispered gently into my ear before she turned to take her leave back into the puddle. I felt the heartbeat of the puddle die from under me as she disappeared. I felt a burden lift off my back as the wings that had once graced my back were gone and the rainy skies above cleared until a slightly hazy sky was revealed. I stood up, using the bench behind me to help me up. I blinked, as I saw who sat before me.
"I'm back." He sighed, throwing his translucent body backwards onto the bench. His darkened expression, his wild hair, and his narrow eyes; it could only be…
"Other I?" I asked; confused at why he sat before me. He never did this. Were these the changes that the young girl spoke of? Did she cause this to happen?
"Yeah. It's me. What's with that expression? You look like you just saw a ghost." He stood, folding his arms over his chest. Obviously his plans must have gone wrong again with the attitude he now had, but I couldn't help but feel that something within him had changed. I looked at him, the light fog still hovered over my eyes, but I could still see the difference in his expression. It seemed almost happy… "What?" He asked as his voice broke through my thoughts.
"Nothing." I responded, timid as he looked at me unconvinced. I was curious as to where the others were, to see if I could be like my yami and change. His was subtle, but it would grow in time, I hoped. I wanted to make the same progress. I wanted to eventually balance too.
"Yugi-tachi and the others are back." He said, I snapped to attention wondering if he'd read my mind. "I don't mind if you go to them." I smiled warmly, as I could feel the tiny light inside my heart grow.
"Only if you come with me, other I." He looked at me, taken back. "We both have some purifying to do. Why do it alone when we can do it together?" He smiled at me, not the sadistic insane smile I saw on him the last time we met face to face, but a real smile reflecting the inner light within him.
"If you insist." He said his translucent hand fitting around my own, as a similar warmth seemed to be shared between us. I knew it wouldn't be easy for either of us, but we could both obtain a balanced scale. We could both obtain a balanced heart.
Puddles… curious things they are indeed.