Windsor, England – 1520
I sighed at the person looking back at me in the mirror. I stared at the pale skin stretching across my face. I rubbed at the darkness under my blue eyes. I did not sleep well last night it would seem. I put my hands on my waist as if measuring. I breathed in deeply looking at myself shrinking. I began to untangle the long golden chestnut plait at the base of my neck. My locks tumbled down my back in tight waves and I slowly ran my fingers through it.
That's when I heard footsteps coming toward my room. I turned just as the door opened and my mother and sister walked in excitedly.
"You're up early my dear" Mother said happily.
"I did not sleep well last night Mother" I sighed. She ignored my complaint and opened the curtains wide, the sun beating in.
"Come now Mary dear, we must make you look your best if you are to keep the interest of a powerful man" Elizabeth said trying to hide her annoyance. She did not like the fact that it was not her being fussed over. She began to brush through my hair a little bit roughly.
"Elizabeth is right Mary. The King favors you and so he favors our family. And you know how badly we need the Kings' favor right now if we wish to stay at court. Our immediate future lies with you dear" she was looking over me as if deciding what to do with my face today. They brushed and did my hair elegantly for the days events. My face was powdered and my cheeks pinched for colour. I now wore an elegant court dress, the corset pulled tightly around my chest. Today was going to be long.
I walked quickly down the corridor trying to keep up with my sister. She walked fast and proud, her head held high and her shoulders back. She adored the attention most people showed her. Elizabeth's beauty was quite commonly known and she did not hide her joy of that. I however walked slowly and drawn into myself in hope of not standing out. We reached the end of the hall where our father awaited us and ushered us inside. He walked slowly behind his desk and looked at us solemnly.
"My daughters, I have terrible news. Alfred, he had died in the night" I gasped. I felt as though my heart had stopped. Elizabeth burst into tears beside me holding her chest as if she were trying to keep in from cracking open.
"How?" I asked.
"The plague. The virus" Father said quietly. I couldn't believe my ears. Of late, a curious disease was sweeping the land, claiming victims at night. Once the bodies were discovered in the morning, they all would have horrible wounds at the throats or chest and the body would be drained of blood. Whatever virus this was, it was very serious, and very scary.
"This is your fault Mary. If you hadn't been arguing with him last night he would've stayed in with us and not have been exposed to the virus" she sobbed loudly accusing me. I could say nothing. I had accused our brother of thievery when I caught him stealing gold from our Fathers' purse. We had argued, people had heard us but did not know what it was about. I said it was nothing important. I did not dare expose what he was doing.
"It was a minor misunderstanding sister. It is nothing that you can accuse me of. You especially have no right to say I am the blame for his death" I said in a deadly tone. I did not stay to hear if she would insult me more, I quickly left the room. I stormed through the court toward my rooms. It was time to prepare for tonight's feast.
Everyone was buzzing around happily making their way into the dining hall. I decided to wait and enter on my own rather than in a crowed mass. I walked slowly toward the hall with my eyes on the feet. My mind buzzing with thoughts, mostly bad and terrible thoughts I wished I did not think. I was so caught up in myself that I did not see someone until I ran straight into them. I looked up quickly to see a man I did not recognize. I dropped down low in a curtsey.
"Please forgive my clumsiness My Lord, I was not watching where I was going" I stuttered.
"That's quite alright My Lady". I rose then and looked at him again. He looked quite young in my eyes. Dark hair swept around his face and hungry chocolate eyes. He shot me a small smile that I returned automatically.
"Please excuse me My Lord" and I pushed past him hastily and hurried down into the dining hall, eager to escape the embarrassing situation.
Once I reached the hall I took a seat next to my sister who looked away from me and pretended I was not there. After a few moments of talkative buzz doors at the other end swung open.
"His Majesty the King". At this announcement the King strode into the room with the Queen and a small band of his close friends. And among them, the man I had bumped into just moments before. I narrowed my eyes but still could not recognize him.
"Please do not let me delay the wonderful feast the lays in wait under the silvers lids. Enjoy this night my loyal subjects" The Kings voice boomed over the crowd and the feast began. After the food had been cleared away and people were beginning to stand and mingle with others, I approached my Father.
"Father, do you recognize the man sitting four spaces to the left of the King?" I asked wonderingly.
"He is not from this court. He is a man of great importance from quite far away. The King holds him in great favor and friendship in hope for an alliance. He is Lord Godric. He is here with his man servant but I am not sure how long he intends to stay" Father explained. As I pondered this and looked over toward the Kings table just when the King looked back at me. I quickly averted my eyes but could sense him now walking through the crowd toward us. My heart started drumming loudly. As he reached us we both sank low.
"My Lady Mary. Would you please me with a dance?" the King asked smiling.
"Of course Your Majesty" I answered and took his out-held hand. He led me onto the dance floor as the music began. We dance for a short time and then others also joined in the dance. To my relief it was a quick dance. I curtsied and he drew me in close.
"You will come to my room tonight" he whispered in my ear. He drew back and kissed the back of my hand. "My Lady"
"Your Majesty" I said in a low curtsey, and he strode off. I exhailed deeply. I turned to leave the floor to see Lord Godric within arms reach.
"My Lady" he said with a slight bow. I returned the courtesy.
"Lord Godric" I smiled slightly.
"A dance perhaps?" he asked holding out his hand
"Of course My Lord" I smiled taking his hand.
The music began and we danced. We twirled and stepped and glided together.
"You are quite the dancer My lady" Lord Godric smiled.
"Please, my name is Mary" I smiled. He nodded and returned the smile. We did not get a chance to really talk throughout the dance and when it finished that was the end of the evening.
"Have a pleasant Evening Mary" Lord Godric said and strode off. I curtsied as he left. I was now extremely worried. I did not want the evening to end. I returned to my rooms where my Mother waited.
"Did the King ask for you?" She asked with a spark in her eye. I nodded silently. She was beaming as she quickly set about helping me dress down for the evening. When I was ready, my hair was in soft curls down my back and I had a night dress on. I said good night to my mother and left with my escort. I walked to the Kings rooms as one condemned. My throat was dry and I tried not to panic.
The King was waiting for me when I arrived and he gestured for me to enter. He offered me wine which I politely refused and he pointed for me to take a seat on his bed. He sat next to me and stared intently at me. I looked back at him but had nothing to say. He then leaned over and kissed my neck. My heart suddenly began to beat quickly and my breathing quickened. He took it as pleasure, but it was not. He kissed my neck again, then my cheek, my forehead and the corner of my mouth. He sit back to look at me.
"Mary, do you want me?" He breathed to my neck. I closed my eyes trying to hide my impending tears.
"As you wish Your Majesty" I whispered back. With that answer, he crushed in face to mine in a desperate kiss. My body did not respond to him in any way other than fright. He pushed me down onto the bed and climbed on top of me. He did not stop kissing me. Then he forced himself between my legs and thrust himself on me. With extreme relief I realized his clothes were still in tact. I felt his desire against me and gasped.
"Mary, do you want me?" He asked again. I could only answer as I did before.
"As you wish Your Majesty" I gasped. He did not kiss me again this time. He just looked at me.
"Do not worry what I wish. What do you wish? Do you want me? Do you want me inside you?" He questioned firmly. I did not want to lie to the King, but I did not want to tell the truth. I was utterly scared of this man and he could do many things to harm me and my family.
"Answer me dammit" he said forcefully. That was when tears escaped my eyes. I sobbed quietly. He then stood about and grabbed me by my arms and stood my up with him.
"You do not want me?" The King yelled. I began crying freely at his harsh tone.
"Your Majesty please forgive me. Forgive my rudeness" I cried frantically. The he slapped me across the face, hard. I held my cheek in shock and stared at him astonished. He just glared at me.
"You have shamed your family" he shook me as he yelled and then threw me across the floor. I could not keep my footing and fell, hitting my head on a sharp corner. The pain seared through my temple and my vision blurred.
"Get out you whore. GET OUT" The King was furious. Without even looking at him and scrambled to my feet and ran from his room. I ran not waiting for my escort and continued running until I reached the one place I knew no one would be at this time of night. The library.
I entered it in relief and let a long staggered breath out. I cried for another while and could feel my eyes were swollen with tears. I begged myself to stop. Then I head a noise. I turned quickly. Lord Godric was there. He stared at me in shock.
"Mary, what happened?" He asked with a pained look on his face. I quickly wiped my face with the backs of my hands. When I looked down at them, there was blood. I gasped. Lord Godric approached me and pulled out a white handkerchief and dabbed my head. The cloth came back red. I didn't realize how bad my wound must have been. Lord Godric looked at me seriously.
"What happened?" He asked again. I fought to stop sobbing.
"T-the King. He was mad. I shamed him. I am a failure" I stammered and began to cry again. Godric then drew me into his arms. He held me tight. Even though I did not know him and this was highly inappropriate for someone of the Kings court, it was nice just to be held. Godric was very comforting.