This story is super short. Also it is very much so crack...and it's yaoi on top of that. Me? Write yaoi of my own accord? Without a friend shoving it down my throat? This is truly a day I never expected to happen. But ItachiXSai was demanding attention in its neglect and my slight interest and so this story came into existance.

Sai and Itachi are not mine. Which is unfortunate.

"You probably don't have a penis either."

"What did you just say to me?" Itachi said incredulously as he turned to confront the offensive boy.

"I bet you don't have a penis. Just like your whiney little brother."

Itachi glared. "Care to put money on that?"

Sai hmphed. "Sure, I'll put money on it."

Itachi stared at him like he was the biggest retard ever. Did the boy seriously think that he didn't have a penis? Honestly, it was pretty obvious that he was a male. And usually under normal circumstances, males had penises. That's how it worked. And the Akatsuki didn't have any crazy rituals or rules that required the guys to become eunuchs…

Turning on his heel and walking away from Sai, he heard the boy yell, "I put down twenty bucks!" before he disappeared into a puff of smoke.

Well, Sai was starting to wonder if he'd won the bet. Because yes, he had been serious about it. So he made it his goal for the day to somehow find out the truth. And so Sai came up with an ingenious plan….

Itachi was eating lunch. Having disregarded the events of the morning, he moved back into his normal frame of mind. His thought wandered onto…well whatever it is that Itachi thinks about on a regular basis. Which would probably be, "When is Sasuke ever going to kill me?" He finished his ramen…because yes Itachi was eating ramen, and paid. He was about ready to stand up and leave when a hand was placed on shoulder.

It was Sai. "Uchiha! I demand that you show me your penis!"

The owner of the ramen stand gaped. "Get a room you two," he told them as he kicked them out of his stand. "I will not be having nudity at my shop!"

Itachi just stared at Sai. "Are you being serious?"

"Yes. If you have a penis I'll give you twenty bucks."

Itachi shrugged, pulling down his pants and showing the boy what he wanted to see was worth twenty bucks to him. And so in the middle of the street, the infamous Itachi Uchiha pulled down his pants. Sai looked down, saw what he wanted to see…which happened to be Itachi penis and said, "I guess you do have one."

Itachi gave him an annoyed glare and pulled his pants back up. "Happy? Now give my twenty bucks!"

Sai shrugged. "I don't have it with me. But if you'd come home with me I'll give it to you." Itachi grumbled but followed the boy back to his apartment.

Itachi stood in the living room waiting for Sai to find his money. This was ridiculous. But he did enjoy looking at the boy's art. He was quite good. Deidara would have been jealous. Sai walked back into the living room. "Here ya go," he said, his face in his classic fake smile as he handed Itachi the bill.

Itachi grabbed it out of the boy's hand. "Thanks. Now I'm leaving."

Sai looked disappointed. "Let's have another bet," he said suddenly.

"What?"

Sai thought for a moment. "Do you want to see if I have a penis?"

"That's not a bet," Itachi said flippantly. "And no, I don't."

"Fine…I bet I can get you undressed in five seconds."

Before Itachi had time to think about what Sai had said to him, he was pinned against the door, Sai's lips pressing against his, and the younger boy stripping him. Itachi wasn't really sure if Sai had accomplished the task in the designated amount of time, but he'd certainly accomplished getting him undressed. For some reason, Itachi didn't really feel like stopping the boy, so he just let him go, letting Sai do with him as he pleased.

If you want more smut go ahead and imagine it yourself. I will not be imagining it for you. I think I'm going to make this into a series of random pairing oneshots. Some will be more on crack, others will be less on crack. It all depends on my mood. I might even throw in some angsty, horror stuff as a special halloween present. Do not be surprised if it ends up as a parody of Idle Hands...