Real World: Onett

by greenotaku

That's right! Seven strangers shall be picked to live in a house together, and in this case, they're all in Nintendo games! But, guess what? YOU get to vote for who you want in there! I have candidates set up, and you just have to vote in your review.

"This is the true story, of seven strangers, picked to live in a house, work together, and have their lives taped, to find out what happens when people stop being polite, and start getting real. The Real World: Onett!"

That's right, folks! It's a "Real World" Season based on Nintendo character, WOW! Ya ya… I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE GOING TO ASK! "How can it be "Real World" if it's not well… reality? Well to those of you acting like that, just shut up and leave if you don't like the idea, okay? Or go ahead read it anyway, just let me do it! Thank you. Anyway, I bet you have another question for me that all of you must be at least pondering about a little: "Who are our seven cast members?" Well, guess what? Just like that upcoming season, YOU GET TO CHOOSE! Just give me your seven cast members in a review, but if you think there should be someone else that IS NOT an available candidate submitted in the casting call… DO NOT ADD THEM TO YOUR LIST! If you want them to be voted, simply add in your review, "I also would like blah blah blah." Well, you don't need it in that wording, just tell me who you want! If you do that, I might put it with the other cast members if I approve. Also, TRY to balance them out by gender. Well, I bet you want to see the 22 candidates, huh? Well here you go people:

Mario

What's up homies, I'm the pimpin' fresh Mario here to rock "Real World: Onett". You see, I'm looking fo a hot babe, because I just got dumped AGAIN, this time by Princess Daisy! I know, I know, all my friends think I should stop dating them royalty, too! But what can I say, the richer the better! So anyway, just VOTE PLEASE! Thanks readers.

Diddy Kong

Hey I'm Diddy Kong, you may know me as P. Diddy K, The Master of Diaster, Pimp of Peanuts, Talking Monkey Dude, or best known as Donkey Kong's Relative. I get that a lot! But for once, I want the spotlight, not that big buff DK! Did you know he only wears a tie that says "DK' on it? How weird! Come on viewers, let me be part of the new cast. Tell you what, if you vote me in… I can promise you that I will have sex with every chick in the household! Alright, guys? What? That's not good enough for you? Wow. Sigh… okay fine sure, dat's cool! If I don't I'll… I'll… okay so I don't know what I can do that's bad that isn't unacceptable by my standards, but you'll see! Oh… you will see!

Paula

I'm not the most famous character, I'll admit it, but I sure made my debut in "Earthbound" for the SNES in the 90's! I was one of Ness' companions during his adventure. What? Don't remember me? I was that blonde chick! Well, anyway, I'm 21 now and it's time to PARTY!! So come on, I'm ready for it! Vote Paula in! I mean sure almost everyone else hasn't even visited Onett (hometown of Ness), but you need someone who knows where the hottest clubs are… and how to get in! wink wink SO HELL YEAH, VOTE PAULA FROM TWOSON IN! Please…

Amy

Hey viewers, it's me, Amy Rose. I decided to try to stop obsessing over my ex-dream boyfriend, Sonic the Hedgehog. So to get him off my mind, I'm going to try this place. To tell you the truth, I'm a virgin. Let's just hope it doesn't stay like that, eh? Well I've heard this is a good place to make friendships and romances, so here I am. Cmon people, VOTE 4 AMY!

Knuckles

That's right dudes! Sonic's good old sidekick (well… I'm not sure maybe Tails is) is in the running for one of those seven spots! Pretty cool, huh? So anyway, relationships aren't really for me. I get the girls, but keeping them… that's a whole different story! But thank god I don't need that trait here, because Onett is full of hot girls at every corners. Heck maybe even echidnas like me! That'd be pretty cool. I could use some more echidnas than Cream, yuck! Anyway, did I mention I'm really good at digging holes? Oh, and also flying, too! Yep, that's right. I have the whole package right here, baby. But not everyone has seen the ENTIRE thing if you know what I mean. That okay, you don't. Well you don't really WANT to know, do you? Too bad, you'll find out for yourself you disturbed voter. But, you only will, IF you vote for me! Know what I'm sayin? Oh yeah, you get the picture.

Kirby

Umm… hi. I'm Kirby… that cool puffball… enemies with Meta Knight and King Dedede… they can be annoying sometimes. I'm really laid-back, I don't know why but chicks did puffy dudes. Hear that bodybuilders and surfer dudes with six-packs!? Puffballs. Get that through your retarded brains! As for dating goes, I just seem not to find any good relationships. Am I looking in the wrong direction or something? Well anyways, if you want to help me, vote for me. Or just vote for me anyway. COME ON PEOPLE, KIRBY! The chill dude from Pop Star! Just vote for me! Thanks.

Baby Bowser (Koopa Kid)

YOU WILL VOTE FOR ME! OR MY FATHER WILL GET OUTSIDE OF THE BOWSERDOME, AND HE WILL KILL YOU! I DON'T CARE ABOUT APPEALING TO YOU MORTALS. YOU WILL DO AS I SAY OR FACE THE CONSEQUENCES! GWA HA HA HA!!!!!

That is, if it's alright with you guys…

Slippy Toad

Oh yeah, big superstar hero coming through… what? You don't remember the GREAT Slippy Toad? I am Fox's and Falco's "supreme overlord master guy"! Oh yeah… that's right…

FALCO LOMBARDI: "SLIPPY, QUIT SPREADING LIES!"

FOX MCCLOUD: "Ya you sissy ass frog, shut the up! You are NOT the leader."

SLIPPY TOAD: "HEY!! I'm a TOAD!! There's a difference, FOX!!"

FOX MCCLOUD: "LOSER!"

FALCO LOMBARDI: "Just stop spreading those damn lies, okay? We understand, you won the coin toss. YOU get to try to get in the next "Real World" and I don't! Just be honest, okay!?

SLIPPY TOAD: "Okay, okay… geez!

Well, you get what I'm saying… I'm still great. Between you and me… I need to GET OUTTA HERE! This place is getting kinda lame, and I gotta split sooner or later. So, PLEASE… VOTE… FOR… ooh, a fly! Hold on… tongue snapping noise Thanks for waiting. Now… where was I? Oh yeah… "SLIPPY!"

Toadette

HI EVERYONE!! I'm here to audition for "Real World: Onett"! What are you here for? Just to vote? Oh… well, uhh… that's fun, too… I guess. Anyway I'm here to show my Toads back in Toad Town some love! Because Toadette is gonna rock the party! Actually, to tell you the truth, I don't go to parties that often. BUT, I'm going to have to alter my lifestyle once I get there anyway, right? Am I right!? So, vote Toadette. Oh yeah, and I told the Toads I'd give a little shoutout. "GO TOAD TOWN MUSHROOMS! YOU'RE GOING TO KICK THE DEKU TREE HYRULIANS' ASSES! WOO!" Well ya, uhh… go team! OH YEAH!

Tetra

Do you remember me? It is I, Tetra the captain of those lazy pirates over there. You may remember me from "Legend of Zelda: Wind Waker". Yeah, I was the hot blonde chick. I saved the little hero by escorting him to the Forsaken Fortress, plus you see me smuggling a few bombs here and there. But, don't worry, I know what you're thinking! I did not have sex with that kid. There. I said it! But, anyways, it turns out I'm ROYALTY! I'm the Princess of Hyrule! Isn't that just awesome? But I'm ready to go party, so how about YOU vote for ME, and I won't KICK YOU IN THE NUTS! Well… if I knew where you lived, or if I really need a nice kick… but that's not that point! I may be Princess, but I have a little bit of a drinking problem. Drinking and men… not a great combination for me… great fun to read about for you. Well there you go, vote for me and I can finally PARTY HARD AGAIN! YEAH!

Link

Hello everybody, I'm Link (Hero of Time… oh yeah, that's right) and I'm looking to cool off on fighting Ganondorf for once. I think Tingle should have it covered. OH MY GOD, WHAT AM I THINKING! TINGLE!? HE SUCKS!? Well, then I'd better hope some new little boy is determined to think about the next Hero of Time and all that crap. It really works, y'no! Make a legend and keep passing it on. Convinces a lot of kids to try to be the hero… and about 99 end up killing themselves. But, for that 1, all it takes is a little bit of help to back you up, a sword and a shield, some transportation, and a nice couple little baggies of… looks around then finds a cop eavesdropping uhh… Cool-Aid. wink wink So come on and vote for Link! Chances are I either saved you life or wasted 50 hours of your life in my video games. One or the other.

Orbulon

ASHWUAK VENDAR SHENTO C HKANTS VON CHSLAUNMISER. KERAK VIDAK CHOICE CANTAR YHYLOMBAR. OMARAH VINDOOK EAHU CHAEAU…

OH! I'm sorry. I forgot, humans don't speak alienese. Well anyway, I'm Orbulon from the "WarioWare Inc." series. I'm an alien as you can tell. Here's a little secret about my race… if you've seen my picture… you know how there's this big bump on my head? Well it's not SHAPED like someone's penis, if you catch my drift! Get what I'm saying? Oh yeah, now you do. It's fun having an alien in the house, because we're not a boy, nor a girl! We're both! Can you say "lots of drama"? Well, I'm here to stick up for aliens everywhere! So… vOtE fOr OrBuLoN! Peace out yo!

Pikachu

Pika pika pika… PIKA! PIKA… CHUUU! Pika pika pika pika pika-chu! electric sparks fly out of its cheeks Pika pika pika pika pika pika pikachu pikachu! Pika pika… pika… pika… pika pika pika… PIKACHU!

(Will Pikachu learn English? Vote for him/her and you'll have to find out!)

Jigglypuff

it looks at the camera for five minutes without doing anything, then it suddenly attacks the camera and it all turns to static

(Those darn Pokémon! We're going to have problem with these people, huh? But, then again… isn't the challenge sort of exciting?)

Yoshi

PLEASE VOTE FOR YOSHI! YOSHI WANT TO HAVE SEXY TIME AGAIN! Please oh please. I'm begging you. I'm an awesome dinosaur, and plus I can eat people. Isn't that cool? Please vote for me. Thank you. Oh yeah, and did I mention the Yoshi's Island's army is prepared to attack and raid North America? That's right… so lay off! And for those of you not from North America… YOU!

K.K. Slider

I'm just a hound on the road to fame. howls Who am I? Sometimes I ask myself that, sometimes I forget about what others think, and question my own opinion. Some call me a musician, some call me just some nomadic wanderer, but I'm getting there. I won't give up. But, what I really need is a place to stay. Living on the streets, going to the villages every Saturday night, whether it's at The Roost or just sitting on a crate in front of the Train Station, I'm doing what I love. I'm making music, writing it, singing it, and backing it up on my favorite guitar. I'm Totakeke. You may recognize me from the "Animal Crossing" series. Be ready for an adventure, because I hope to be coming to Onett very soon. Thank you everyone… peace.

Ms. Pacman

I bet you weren't expecting an old character like me to show up! Well don't worry, my programming makes me remain at my young age, so I'm only 23. Okay well before I start convincing you guys, I must say this: PACMAN WAS NEVER MY BOYFRIEND. GET OVER IT! Just because we're the two well-known Pac-creatures DOESN'T mean that we were ever together. I've met that jerk before… biggest slob I've ever met. He eat those dots like he hasn't eaten in days, but the truth is he eats whenever he's at work! That' his job… the star of "Pacman". I decided to quit. It was horrible for my health. Sure I was exercising, but even if you aren't fat, unhealthy attributes don't always show. I do not want to die of malnutrition! Anyways, let's see here. I want to be in this really badly, because people have forgotten about me and even Namco (my former company). I want to step it up, and show that I'm not just a pie without a slice. Plus… I want to see what it's like to have a relationship with someone who isn't a Pac-creature. I mean I want to see how they treat me, how much they like me, their strange lifestyles, and… well… what I really want to know is how the hell do they reproduce. I've heard it's much different than how Pac-creatures do it. So PLEASE people, vote for ME.

Necrid

GWAAA! Me Necrid. "Soul Caliber" series. Nice meet you. Me… want Onett. World domination! HAHAHA! You not know me? Me Necrid, alien fighter, cool laser sword, sweeeeeet. In my planet, human slaves, do work, do finances, scrub feet, sometimes sex… so vote, VOTE NOW! Maybe if vote for Necrid, you die slow and painful. Honorable way to die, unlike sissy ass quick and painless death. Pffft, only for no-balls retards. Who want die quick and painless? If vote for me, I might learn English better. I thank, I thank much. NOW VOTE, OR SHALL YOUR MOUTH BE STUFFED WITH FRIED CHICKEN HEADS!!

Muffy

Hello, my name is Muffy. I'm a hot blonde, but I'm also a party animal. In case you didn't know, I work at the Blue Bar with my friend Griffin some of the newer "Harvest Moon" games. I'm the hottest of the three girls my age who live in town, OF COURSE. Anyway, I lived at a bar for my whole life, so don't think I'm a newcomer to alcohol! As drugs go, I don't do them. Tried 'em once, never touched that needle again. Anyway, I'm a sexy bartender, and you must know that makes a great addition to the cast of "Real World: Onett"! So, go ahead and vote for me. You're going to need someone outgoing in the house to get those Nintendo bastards off their big asses!

Banjo

Duh huh! Bet ya weren't lookin' fer me, now were ya readers? It's me, Banjo! I'm in a series known as "Banjo Kazooie" I reckon, and also I've played a part in "Diddy Kong Racing"! You always need someone from da more countryside area. Also you need a real animal, not just a party animal, but I mean like a mammal, a bear maybe… just a thought. (in case you didn't know readers, Banjo is a bear) As for Kazooie, well he's sick right now, and anyways I am pretty much the leader. But ya… shucks I haven't been able to find the right woman, yet. That's why I stopped dating for maybe say… five months, six maybe? But, I'm ready to end that streak, and see what Onett has to offer. Plus, I can't afford going anywhere lately! I need a day off… please? So select me for one of them seven cast member. Thank y'all beary much. Huh huh huh, 'beary', get it? 'Cuz I'm a bear! I crack myself up! Duh huh huh huh!

Gex

Some people call me their living nightmare, and others will call me that annoying lizard boy, and then I say, "Hey dude, I'm a gecko, got it?" I'm a secret agent. People think I should change my name to 00Gex, but it doesn't sound as catchy as my name alone. I work alone, except with this hot babe who I always have to save. You may not remember me, but you will. I played in some old games in a series called the "Gex" series. I never would've guessed! (said in sarcasm) Anyways who are you going to vote for, the wimpy shrimp, or the hunky, buff secret agent with a snapping tail and a long tongue, which isn't used just for catching flies. wink So, yeah, vote for me. Thank you to my adoring fans.

Samus

Well here I am. Every set needs a more devilish character, especially a clever woman! I'm much stronger than the average man, let alone the average woman! I'm always focusing on adventures in the "Metroid" series, but I'd like to change. I want to try these awesome Onett parties. Who knows? Maybe invite a friend or two. Oh wait, we're on different planets… a little bit of a challenge! Well, I'd better go. So when you're typing your review on this story, say "VOTE FOR SAMUS". Well, thanks and… bye!