What would happen if the Clan cats got phones? Pure chaos!

Yeah, um, I wish I could say it was my first warriors fic. XD But it's not. First humor warriors fic, though. REVIEW, yo!

Firestar's Answering Machine

Yo dude, this is the handsome, muscular, and over-confident TC leader, WHAT UP? So, like, leave a message after the long, annoying beep.

(in the background) What kind of a message is that? Ohhhh, when I see him I'm going to-

(another voice) Sandstorm, chill! He's just got an inflated ego.

(Sandstorm) Well his ego's the size of a blimp! And rapidly growing! Also, what's up with the cool guy image? He got over that weeks ago –

Beeeeeeeep

Message One

YO DAWG! This is the GRAY MAN! Just wanted to say that cool accent of yours isn't gunna work out. YOU NEED TO WORK ON IT MAN, WORK ON IT! … YOU PIECE OF FOX-DUNG, WORK ON IT!

Have a nice day, yo.

(in background) Who gave Graystripe the soda?

(other voice) Uh…

Message Two

Um, hi Firestar. This is Blackstar. Just wanted you to know ShadowClan is planning a raid tomorrow at sundown. Have a nice last day of your life.

Message Three

OMG FIRESTAR I AM TOTALLY YOUR BIGGEST FAN -

Message Four

Do you know where I can get shedding brushes?

(background) Tornear you idiot, what are you doing calling ThunderClan's leader?

Oh, this isn't customer support?

Message Five

Firestar, this is Princess. WHY HAVEN'T YOU CALLED ME? I've been worried sick! You better not be hanging out with that dimwit Clan of yours.

(another voice) Princess, you're not his mom.

SO?

(sigh) Who put away the rope last?

Graystripe's Answering Machine

Hey, uh, I'm currently being forced to live as a kittypet against my will, and I can't get to the phone. Please leave a message after the tone. Peaceoutyall.

Beeeeeeeeep

Message One

The wheels on the bus go round and round, round and round. The wheels on the bus go round and –

Message Two

Uh, yeah, I'll have a large pepperoni, ham, bacon, mushroom, anchovy, and olive pizza.

(voice) You've got the wrong number.

Oh yeah, can I get a coke with that?

(voice) DUDE, YOU'VE GOT THE WRONG NUMBER!

Message Three

ZOMG WHEN ARE U GOING TO RETURN TO THUNDERCLAN I LOVE YOU GRAYSTRIPE YOURE THE BEST CHARACTER!

Message Four

What the heck is this Warriors crap? My friends are obsessed. MAKE THEM STOP GIVING ME CLAN LECTURES!

Message Five

Dude…

Squirrelflight's Answering Machine

Hi, this is the fast-talking overly hyper badly-named warrior! Leave a message after the tone or I'll rip your throat out. Have a nice day!

SQUIRRELFLIGHT FOR PRESIDENT!

Message One

This is your evil twin. Just wanted to call and make sure you're doing all right. Twins have to stay in touch, you know.

(voice in background) What does Morningflower think she's doing?

(another voice) She's finally lost it.

Message Two

This is the Coca-Cola company. We're suing you for raiding our factory last week. Bring twenty rabbits and your father to court next Wednesday or face being tortured by rabid squirrels.

Message Three

I wish I had the faintest idea of what's going on.

Message Four

Squirrelflight, we are on to you. We know you are secretly raiding Firestar's junk food lounge. So watch your mouth. Cuz we're watching it, and every other body part of yours.

Message Five

Is this technical support? Yeah, uh, I was having a few problems with-

I hope you liked it, I'm on vacation so I might not be able to post a lot…xP

Vix