I started this fic about 400 years ago (I've published other Howince fics in the time it took me to finish this one), so I'm just glad it's finally done.

Most of my Howince fics tend to take place when Howard and Vince are already in an established relationship, and in my head that usually happens up after the infamous rooftop kiss at the end of 'Party'. But I wanted to write something that shows them actually getting together, and also Howard losing his virginity, so... here we are. Enjoy!

Reviews would be nice.

And obviously I don't own anything. Getting a selfie with Noel Fielding after his show a few weeks ago apparently doesn't count as ownership, but hey, what do I know?

After Party

Vince found Howard lying on his back on the bouncy castle, staring up at the night sky. Pulling his boots off with some difficulty, he crawled onto the bouncy castle and lay beside his best friend, relieved that he wasn't immediately told to sod off.

"Alright, Howard?" he said, cheerful as always.

Howard sighed despondently. "Not bad, little man, all things considered. I thought you'd gone off with that girl from before?"

"Nah," said Vince with a shrug. "She was cool and everything, but she mostly just wanted to know where I got my outfit from. What about you and Pencil Case Girl? I thought you were well in there."

Howard barely suppressed a shudder, trying to get the image for scaly hands and seaweed hair out of his mind. "Erm... no. No, that didn't really work out the way I'd hoped. Not at all."

"Ah well. Never mind, eh?"

Vince turned his head with a reassuring smile, only to find Howard glaring up at the sky, as if the twinkling stars and the shaving cream white full moon were responsible for everything that had ever gone wrong in his life.

"Sorry, Howard," he suddenly said.

Howard frowned. "What are you apologising for?"

"Everything," Vince said quietly. "You didn't even want a birthday party in the first place. And now look; I nearly got killed by the Head Shaman, everyone was taking the piss 'cause you're a virgin and that, Lester got his head chopped off... it's been a fiasco. I should've just let you have your quiet night in, Howard. I'm really sorry about forcing you into all this."

"It's okay, little man," said Howard, with a sad smile. "It's not all bad. At least you came through with my birthday present."

"Of course I did! You don't have to sound so surprised!"

Howard just chuckled. They lay on the bouncy castle in a comfortable silence for a while, looking up at the sky, before Vince spoke up again.

"Howard?" he asked tentatively.

"Yeah?"

"Y'know all the stuff you said on the roof after... after I kissed you, about all the sexual tension and how it's all been leading up to this and stuff?"

Howard squirmed a little bit, still embarrassed beyond belief. "Oh, right... sorry about all that, Vince. Just forget about it, yeah?"

"But I can't though, because you... you had a point."

Howard wasn't sure what to say to that, but Vince didn't seem to be expecting a response.

"It all made loads of sense, what you said," he continued. "Y'know, now I've properly thought about it. To be honest, I think I might actually slightly... love you a bit. And not just in a friendship-love kinda way. I mean, it was a bit weird snogging you, especially since you were just sort of frozen and it was like trying to get off with a mannequin. But at the same time, in a strange kinda way, it felt... right."

Howard was stunned silent for a few seconds that felt to Vince like much longer, staring up at the sky with his mouth slightly open. When he finally found his voice he said "Vince, I... are you actually being serious right now?"

He didn't mean it to sound harsh, but apparently it did. Vince sat up sharply, making the whole bouncy castle wobble.

"Of course I'm being serious!" he said indignantly. "Why wouldn't I be? It is physically possible for me to be serious sometimes, y'know!"

"Well, yes, I'm sure it is," said Howard carefully, attempting to repair the damage he'd unintentionally done. "But..."

"I've never been more serious about anything in my entire life!" Vince interrupted, suddenly outraged. "And it's burning me up inside! I finally managed to admit out loud that I love you, it's been eating away at me for years but I never said anything because I didn't want to spoil our friendship! You never liked to be touched by me, and you were always falling for other people who weren't even remotely interested in you, like the Pencil Case Girl or Mrs Gideon back at the zoo, and I figured you only wanted me as a mate, so I squashed all those feelings down and I kept on denying it! But now I've finally admitted it to myself and to you, and you think I'm fucking joking?!"

"Well, can you really blame me?" said Howard defensively, sitting up too. "You're always joking around when it comes to me, aren't you? A little dig here, a little insult there. Everything's always at my expense, so how the hell am I supposed to know when you're actually being sincere?"

"I'm being sincere now, you bellend! And you're just throwing it back in my face!"

"How'd you think I felt up on the roof when you did the exact same thing? For a moment we had something special up there, so where was all this sincerity then?"

"What happened on the roof wasn't supposed to mean anything, you idiot, I was just trying to stop the Head Shaman from chopping my head off! It wasn't until afterwards that it all came together in my head but by then you'd chucked me!"

Tears were welling up in Vince eyes, which he impatiently brushed away. Howard had never seen him look so upset before.

"I knew you didn't mean all that stuff you said on the roof," Vince said, no longer yelling but still just as angry. "I fucking knew it. You were just all excited about having your first kiss and got carried away like you always do. I know you, Howard, better than anyone does. And I know that you always fall head over heels for anyone who shows you the tiniest bit of affection, but it wasn't supposed to be like that with us. It was supposed to be real. But that wasn't real, up on the roof, it was just you making a tit outta yourself. You would've reacted exactly like that if it had been Pencil Case Girl who'd kissed you, so don't sit there and act like it was somehow special just because it was with me!"

Vince turned, trying his best to get off the bouncy castle (it was difficult to make a dramatic exit on such an unstable surface), when Howard suddenly grabbed his arm to stop him.

"Vince, wait."

"Leave it out, Howard. Just forget I ever said..."

The rest of Vince's words were cut off by Howard's lips pressed against his, in a shy but rather forceful kiss – a kiss that was trying to make a point but wasn't entirely sure how to go about it, a kiss that was a bit weird but also, in a strange kind of way, felt... right. When they separated the tears that Vince had been trying his best to hold back finally trickled down his cheeks, and Howard raised a hand and wiped one away with his thumb.

"It was special, Vince," he said softly. "Because it was with you."

Vince couldn't think of a single thing to say. He felt like a kind of explosion was happening inside him. Instead of speaking, he just wrapped his arms around Howard in the tightest hug he had ever given anyone, knocking them both back onto the floor of the bouncy castle. Howard hugged him back just as tightly, laughing as Vince covered his face in excited little kisses.

"I'm sorry for acting like such a tit," Howard said in between Vince's kisses. "I'm sorry I upset you..."

"For God's sake, no more apologising! It's so boring," Vince laughed, straddling Howard's lap. "I love you and you love me and it's all finally out in the open now, so let's just enjoy it, yeah?"

"But Vince, I need you to understand. I never meant to make you cry, of course our kiss on the roof was special, it wouldn't have been special with anyone else because it was always supposed to be with you, and..."

Howard's heartfelt explanation was cut short by Vince kissing him, kissing him like there was no one else on the entire planet he'd rather kiss. After the initial surprise, Howard kissed him back with all the skill he could muster, wrapping his arms around Vince's waist and holding him close as they snogged like teenagers on the bouncy castle. Vince licked and nibbled on Howard's lips, practically begging for permission to deepen their kiss. A shiver ran down Howard's spine as their tongues met, Vince licking gently into his mouth and moaning as Howard imitated his movements as best he could. It turned out that, when he was actually joining in, Howard Moon was quite a good kisser.

Neither was sure how much time had passed, but their enthusiastic snogging was suddenly interrupted by someone clearing their throat. They separated and slowly turned their heads to find Naboo staring at them with his arms crossed.

"I see you two finally got your shit together," he lisped, sounding not only unsurprised and like he really didn't care in the slightest. "Maybe don't start bummin' on the bouncy castle though, yeah? You'll never get your deposit back."

Rolling his eyes, Naboo went back inside without waiting for a response, leaving Howard and Vince lying on top of each other on the bouncy castle and feeling slightly embarrassed.

"Maybe we should, erm..." said Howard, clearing his throat awkwardly. "Go back upstairs?"

Vince grinned, sitting up on Howard's lap, his eyes suddenly full of mischief. "Sounds good to me. It's freezing out here. I'd much rather continue this on a nice warm bed."

They got off the bouncy castle with lots of ungraceful wobbling and childish giggling, grabbed their shoes and went back inside, walking hand in hand. When they got back up to the flat it was to find Bollo passed out on the floor, and Naboo and Saboo sat close together on the sofa, passing the hookah between them. They didn't seem to even realise that anyone else was in the room through the cloud of smoke, so Vince and Howard made their way to their bedroom unnoticed, sidestepping the mess that the party guests had made.

Vince's side of their rather cramped shared bedroom was a right state, a multi-coloured confusion of disorganised hair products and clothes that spilled out of the wardrobe, onto the unmade bed and the floor. Howard's side (which was actually only about a third of the room, since Vince had a lot more stuff than him) was immaculate, everything clean and tidy and very, very beige. Vince chucked his boots aside and took a seat on Howard's neatly made bed, tapping the space beside him until Howard sat down.

Vince rested his head on Howard's shoulder as soon as they were next to each other, taking his hand and kissing the back of it, and snuggling up close. It felt so nice to finally be allowed to do this, to not have to hold back when it came to showering Howard with affection. Howard was rather enjoying it too. He wrapped an arm around Vince, holding him close and planting a kiss on the top of his head. The physical boundary had been crossed, what felt like a lifetime of tension between them had finally been lifted, and now they could just... be.

"We don't have to do anything, y'know?" Vince whispered. "I mean, you only had your first kiss a couple of hours ago. There's no need to rush into anything you're not ready for. I don't mind waiting."

Howard gave Vince a little squeeze, gently stroking his hair. "Thanks, little man. But I think we've both done more than enough waiting."

Vince sat up, his eyes wide with both worry and excitement. "Really? You're not just saying that? I don't wanna rush you into anything."

"You're not," said Howard gently. "You and me have been a long time coming. I really think it's time to tick another first off my list."

They smiled warmly at each other, moving in at the same time to share a sweet, loving kiss. Vince could feel Howard trembling with nerves as their kiss deepened, and pulled them both down onto the bed. Vince crawled on top of Howard, straddling his hips, taking control of the kiss. He let his lips travel over Howard's jaw, down his neck, very gently nibbling on his skin as Howard sighed underneath him, holding onto Vince's slim waist.

"I've wanted this for so long," Vince whispered against Howard's neck. "So, so long, you have no idea... I've been dreaming of having you this close to me, Howard... having your hands on me... being able to touch you... finally knowing what your skin tastes like..."

Vince dragged the tip of his tongue up the length of Howard's neck, licking his earlobe before sucking it into his mouth. Howard whole body shook very suddenly, his hips bucked forward and his grip around Vince's waist tightened as he let out a rather high-pitched whimper. Vince sat up.

"Did... did you just..."

Howard covered his burning red face with his hands."Oh God..."

Vince looked down at Howard's crotch to see the wet patch soaking through the corduroy, and held onto Howard's wrists, pulling his hands away from his thoroughly embarrassed face.

"Howard, it's okay," he said softly. "Look at me, I'm not laughing at you. It's fine."

"How can this possibly be fine?" said Howard, squirming.

"It's totally understandable," said Vince. "It's happens to everyone. Although, to be fair, the last time I came in my pants I was fourteen. But it's just because you've never done this before. You're body's just all over-stimulated and that, because you've never been touched like this. It's no big deal."

Howard didn't look entirely convinced. "Really?"

"Yes, really," said Vince with a flirty grin. "I'm choosing to take it as a compliment anyways. I'm so hot that all I had to do was lick your neck to have you jizzing in your pants. I'm flattered, Howard, really."

Howard chuckled as Vince bent down to kiss him on the nose.

"And," Vince continued, his voice lowering slightly. "It means you'll last a bit longer when we finally get down to it, now you've got that outta your system."

Howard shivered as Vince's kissed down his neck again, letting his hands travel up Vince's legging covered thighs with nervous curiosity, desperate to touch him but at the same time afraid to do anything more. Vince sat up and pulled his flowing caftan over his head, his silver headband coming off too as the fabric ruffled his hair. This was by no means the first time Howard had seen Vince's bare chest. They'd been living in very close quarters together since all those times working the night shift at the zoo, sleeping bags only inches from each other on the floor of the keepers' hut, and Vince had never been afraid of strutting around in just his pants or a towel. But this was different. This time Howard felt like he was allowed to actually look. And look he did.

Vince was beautiful. Howard had always known that – he wasn't blind – but now he noticed every little detail that made the younger man sitting astride his lap just so pleasing to look at. Vince wasn't quite a stick-thin as he used to be. His shoulders and chest had broadened ever so slightly over the years. The muscles in his arms were surprisingly defined considering he rarely did any exercise, his waist was narrow and his hips were rather shapely. His pale, creamy skin was smattered with dark hair, mostly on his forearms and stomach, leaving a trail down from his belly button and disappearing under the waistband of his leggings.

Howard let his eyes travel back up to Vince's neck, where his silver circular necklace still lay, up to his prominent chin, his plump, kiss-swollen lips, his large nose, his big blue eyes full of lust and the blush creeping across his high cheekbones. Even the way Vince blushed was beautiful. He didn't go all red and blotchy like some people. His cheeks turned a delicate rosy colour, like a swooning heroine in a costume drama. Vince was sharp and soft, handsome and pretty all at once. The Confuser, indeed.

"Don't think I've ever seen you look at me like that before," Vince said with a bashful little smile, as he tossed aside his caftan and took off his necklace.

"You're beautiful, Vince," Howard said softly. "I mean, you always are, but... but now, especially."

Vince's cheeks turned rosier, and he twisted a lock of raven black hair around his finger as he grinned shyly behind his fringe. "Really?"

Howard chuckled. "You've changed you're tune! It was only a couple of hours ago you were going on about how all men fancy you, but now you've gone all modest?"

"Yeah, well it's one thing having some stranger fancy me. That just goes without saying, they're only human. But usually I just get called fit or something. Getting called beautiful is a new one though... and coming from you..." Vince giggled, shaking his head as he played with his hair. "I dunno, it just means a lot more than the usual compliments, I guess."

Howard smiled and sat up, wrapping his arms around Vince and kissing him softly on the lips. "I'm gonna have to tell you how beautiful you are more often then, aren't I?"

Vince smiled against Howard's lips, pushing his shirt off his shoulders and pulling his roll-neck jumper over his head until they were both shirtless. They both shivered against each other at the skin on skin contact, kissing each other deeply for what felt like days as they continued to undress each other. Once they were finally naked they lay side by side together, arms around each other and legs a tangle as they continued to kiss at an unhurried pace. Howard was surprised by just how not at all self-conscious he was feeling, how calm and relaxed he was considering he was about to lose his virginity. He put that down to Vince's light touches and sweet kisses. He felt so... taken care of. Usually it was him looking after Vince. The role-reversal felt rather nice.

"Howard?" Vince whispered.

"Yeah, little man?"

"Can I... I mean, unless you don't want to... but can I maybe... be on top?"

Howard frowned. "What do you mean?"

"Well... I've not been with a lot of blokes before. I don't want you thinking I'm some kinda slag or nothing. But with them other blokes they always wanted to be the ones on top... y'know, the ones doing the shagging instead of being shagged. I reckon it's because I look like a girl so they wanted to do me like a girl. So I've never been on top before and I figured that since you've never done it with anyone before... well, I thought it'll be more special that way, like both our first times, y'know? But if you don't want to, I totally get it, we really don't have to..."

Howard cut Vince off with a kiss, smiling warmly. "It's fine, Vince. Both our first times, that sounds perfect."

Vince grinned excitedly, planting a kiss on Howard's cheek before crawling off the bed and going over to his bedside cabinet. He rooted around amongst the half empty sweet packets and broken eyeliner pencils until he found a condom and a bottle of lubricant, before skipping back to the bed.

"It'll be genius, Howard, I promise," said Vince eagerly, kneeling between his legs. "Being on the bottom feels amazing, and I'll be dead gentle and I'll make it so good for you. And if you're not enjoying it just tell me and we can slow down, because I just want you to be comfortable, Howard."

Howard smiled nervously as Vince pushed a pillow under his hips. He believed every word Vince said, trusted him completely, but still Howard couldn't stop his hands from trembling at he watched the bottle of lube being popped open.

"Relax," Vince said softly, coating his fingers in plenty of lube. "It's well easier if you relax."

Howard nodded, too anxious to speak. Relaxing wasn't really one of his strong points at the best of times, but as Vince stroked his thigh he tried his very best to calm down. Vince is gonna take care of me, he thought to himself. Vince promised he'll take care of me, it'll be fine...

Howard gasped loudly as he felt Vince's fingers tracing lightly against his hole, smearing cool lubricant against his most intimate area as Vince's other hand continued to caress his thigh. Vince could tell Howard wasn't relaxing – unsurprising, really – and, with a smirk, he dipped his head and dragged his tongue over the length of Howard's cock.

"Ohh my God..." Howard moaned, his whole body shivering.

Vince chuckled as he continued to lick Howard's leaking erection, his fingertip gently circling his puckered hole until he was able to push one finger all the way inside.

"You alright?" he asked quietly, planting a kiss on Howard's hip. "How's that feel?"

"It's, erm... different," Howard replied, already rather breathless. "Not in a bad way though, just... keep going."

Vince smiled as he continued working Howard open, adding more lube and going as slowly as he dared. He kissed up and down Howard's thighs and stroked his cock until he was able to fit three slick fingers inside him, scissoring and curling them until he could stroke Howard's prostate and make him moan even louder. Howard was overwhelmed with pleasure, hardly able to catch his breath, the feeling of being so full in such a strange place unusual but wonderful. He was using every ounce of strength he had not to come again, he definitely wouldn't be able to take the embarrassment of coming too early twice in a row.

"Ready for me, Howard?"

"Yeah... yeah, I think so."

Vince removed his fingers carefully, ripping open the condom with his teeth and slipping it onto his cock, before coating his length in even more lube. As he watched, Howard only felt even more nervous – Vince was so much bigger than he thought he'd be. It was equal parts arousing and terrifying.

"Do you wanna turn over?" Vince asked with a smile. "It's a bit more comfortable the first time when you're on your stomach."

Howard nodded and turned onto his stomach, trying to keep the pillow under his hips and his legs spread. This was it, this was actually happening. He held his breath as he felt Vince spread his arse cheeks and something much thicker than those three fingers from earlier pushing against his slick hole.

"Deep breaths, Howard," Vince whispered into his ear. "Try and relax, and sorta bear down against me, yeah? And please tell me to stop if I'm hurting you."

Vince left a trail of light kisses on the back of Howard's neck as he pushed in as slowly as he could. Howard balled his hands into fists and buried his face in his pillow, trying to relax and bear down. It didn't hurt, not really, but it wasn't exactly comfortable either. The slow burn of being stretched seemed to go on forever, but finally he felt the length of Vince's body pressed right up against his back.

"Oh, fuck, Howard," Vince moaned, breathing heavily against Howard's skin. "You feel so amazing... you're okay though, yeah? I ain't hurting you, am I?"

"You're not... you're not hurting me, Vince," Howard groaned against the pillow. "Just... just give me a minute... to... get used to you..."

They stayed still for a while as Howard got used to the intrusion, Vince kissing and nuzzling the back of his neck and holding him close before they finally started to move. Vince thrust in and out of Howard as slowly and carefully as he could, trying his very best to be gentle and take his time even though being inside Howard felt more incredible than he ever could have imagined. Howard groaned into his pillow, the sensations overwhelming, too much but not enough all at once.

"Ohh, Vince... faster... please... faster..."

Vince smiled against Howard's shoulder, twinning their fingers together tightly as he sped up his movements. Howard felt so tight and hot around Vince's cock, and the noises he made against the pillow were the sexiest thing Vince had ever heard. They shared a messy kiss over Howard's shoulder, moaning into each other's mouths as Vince reached his free hand around Howard to stroke his cock in time with their thrusts.

"Oh God, Howard... ohhh, fuck... so good... I'm not gonna – ahhh – I'm not gonna last long..."

Howard bucked his hips to meet Vince's thrusts, too breathless with pleasure to do any more than moan and grunt Vince's name over and over as their love-making became faster and harder and more desperate. Howard could tell he was going to come, could feel his balls tightening and every nerve in his body tensing up, but he didn't want to, not yet. He didn't want this to be over, not ever, it was too incredible to end, don't stop, don't ever stop, Vince...

One perfectly angled thrust against that magical spot inside him and Howard was hit with the force of his orgasm for the second time that night. But this was a million times better than just coming in his pants. This was heart-stopping, earth-shattering, name-forgetting, like a tidal wave crashing over him in the most wonderful way. He felt Vince shuddering on top of him, slamming into him erratically as he cried out his name, and it only made it feel even better. They were coming together, falling over the edge of that precipice with their hands still entwined, and it was such pure perfection that it brought tears to Howard's eyes.

Vince planted one more exhausted kiss on Howard's shoulder, before carefully pulling out and rolling onto the other side of the single bed. With the little energy he had he got up and went to the bathroom for a damp flannel to clean them both up. Howard turned onto his back and let Vince clean up the mess on his stomach, too drained to even pretend like he wasn't emotional. There was little point in hiding his feelings from Vince, not now.

"You alright, Howard?" Vince asked tenderly, crawling back into bed and covering them both in Howard's beige duvet.

Howard nodded, too choked up to speak. Vince cuddled up to his best friend, wiping his tears away gently and kissing him on the cheek.

"These are happy tears, right?" he asked, sounding slightly nervous.

"Yeah, little man," Howard said, clearing his throat and curling his arm around Vince to hold him close. "Definitely happy tears."

"Oh, good," Vince said with a sigh of relief. "Told you it would be genius, didn't I? Next time you can be on top."

"There's gonna be a next time?"

"Yeah, 'course there is! We're making up for lost time, remember? If all goes according to plan, you and me are gonna be shagging each other senseless 24/7 for a least a couple of weeks. Y'know, it until we settle down into a normal boyfriend-type routine."

"So I'm your boyfriend now, am I?"

"Absolutely, the best boyfriend I could ever ask for. Happy birthday, Howard. I love you."

"Certainly has been, little man. And I love you too."

Vince curled up against Howard as close as he could get, nuzzling his face into Howard's neck, revelling in the closeness that he had always longed for and filling his lungs with the unmistakeable scent of Howard Moon – like strong, unsweetened tea and old leather-bound books and safety. He was so happy and so in love, and he quickly drifted off to sleep with a blissful smile on his face.

Howard wrapped his arms around Vince's slim little body, marvelling at how flawlessly they fit together and how perfectly his birthday had turned out. As he buried his nose in Vince's messy black locks, breathing in the unmistakeable smell of Vince Noir (candyfloss and expensive hair spray and home), Howard knew he couldn't have asked for a better gift than this – falling asleep in the arms of the man he loved.

Hope you enjoyed, Humble Readers.

xxx