To Exist in this World

By: Liv-x-Lex4Ever

A loud explosion rattled his ear drums. He looked across the lot, seeing Olivia collapse. Forget about pain, or any life-threatening injury, he had to get to her. Now. He ran as fast as his legs would allow, catching her just before she hit the ground.

Whatever had just happened, his partner had witnessed first-hand. Her head was bleeding, blood running down her face, she had cuts on her cheeks, gashes were on her neck. Her shirt was ripped and bloody. She struggled to take a breath. "El-Elliot," she rasped, fist clenching on the side of his cheek.

"Liv! Hang on! Don't you dare die on me!" he shouted, clutching her to him as rubble fell around them. He reached for his radio, but it was gone, so was his gun. This won't do, damn it, he thought, picking her up into his arms. "Liv, come on, say something!" he begged, wiping the blood from her eyes.

Everywhere hurt. To breathe. To move. To think. But the urgency in his voice caused her to groan, trying to talk as blood from her mouth spattered his shirt.

"HELP! SOMEONE!" he yelled, running down the street.

Instantly, Elliot sat up in bed, seeing his wife was still asleep beside him. After all the rapes, all the child molesters, pedophiles and serial killers, Kathy Stabler, somehow, managed to keep him human. Why she chose to stay was, sometimes, beyond his reason.

He pushed the covers away, standing up and throwing on the shirt and jeans that he'd had on yesterday. Something was wrong. Very, very wrong with Olivia. Screw the fact he'd been off the force for a year and the questions that would be asked the second he walked off the elevator. He had to go.

He grabbed his cell, noticing it was about 8:30 A.M., and headed out of the house. Kathy would call, but the truth about where he had gone would never make her think their marriage was on the rocks and he knew that. Kathy understood their partnership.

Walking off of the elevator, Elliot was immediately recognized by Munch, who walked over. "Hey, how've y—"

Elliot cut him off. "Later!" he said, seeing her desk covered in files, but Benson nowhere in sight.

A blonde he didn't recognize walked over. "Is there something I can help you with?" Rollins asked.

He looked over to where he used to sit, seeing the chair vacant, but someone's jacket hanging off the back. "Yes. Is Captain Cragen in?"

She nodded. "Is there a reason you need to speak with him?" she continued.

His eyes showed worry and hurt, but he hoped the nightmare had been only that. "Well…"

"Captain's on his office, Elliot," Finn answered.

He nodded toward him in thanks.

Rollins stood. "Hey, you can't just—"

Munch grabbed her shoulder. "Olivia's old partner. Let him go."

She looked in wonder as he approached the door. "That's Elliot Stabler?"

Finn nodded. "They may not work together anymore, but they've kinda got a sixth-sense about each other. Doesn't surprise me that he's here."

Rollins nodded. "Me neither."

Elliot knocked on the door hearing an exhausted, "Come in," from inside.

Elliot opened the door, walked in and shut it, leaning against the wall. "Hello captain."

Cragen, who'd been engrossed in the large stack of files on his desk, looked up. "Elliot? What are you doing here? Please sit."

Elliot nodded, doing as he asked. "Place is a lot different now," he said with a grin, "quieter. Maybe I was the noisy one."

Cragen cracked a smile, but it quickly dispersed. "You're…here to see Liv, aren't you?" he asked.

He nodded. "I had…an unnerving nightmare and figured I should come check. Is she sick? I guess I should've called first."

Cragen sighed, sitting back in his chair, shaking his head. "No. Now that you're out, I can't discuss specifics, but there was a case yesterday involving explosives and she was caught in the blast. She's at Mercy."

"That's not considered specifics?" he asked with a raised brow.

"Not of the case. You came in wanting to know about Olivia, an ex-partner, that's not part of it."

He sighed. "True. Anyone at the hospital with her?"

"Cabot was there, but she had to leave for court an hour ago. She reported to me before going to trial. I could tell you her condition, how broken down she was when she heard you left, even how happy she'll be to see you walk into that room, but I think you should experience it first-hand. If you get any guff, tell them I sent you as a favor because I've got too many things right now that require my attention."

He nodded, standing up. "Thanks," he said, walking over and resting his hand on the knob.

"Elliot?"

He turned back. "Yeah?"

"It's good to see you back, even if it is only for a minute," he said with a grin.

Elliot grinned right back before walking out the door.

Olivia woke with a groan in the hospital bed, feeling gauze in places she thought she'd never have it and severe pain that was trying to be numbed by whatever was in the IV.

The last thing she remembered was sheltering Tommy – the little boy she'd found in the lab – from the blast. She hoped he was okay, but judging from the layers of skin that bad been burned off of her forearms – she could only guess as they were covered in bandages – she thought he was probably all right.

She vaguely remembered Alex whispering in her ear while she slept that she had to get to court and would be back later before she felt her kiss her cheek. The meds the doctor had given her before were pretty damn strong and wouldn't let her gain full consciousness until now.

Feeling her head, she had a large gauze pad above one eye, cuts and scrapes on her chest, a few marks on her neck. When she pulled the hospital gown out far enough, stitches could be seen on her chest as well as burns. "Must've been the brunt of the blast," she said to herself. But wait, she'd had him in her arms, if...if her injuries were this severe then...

Elliot walked into the waiting area, having already been told Olivia's room number, but the nurse had also said another detective was waiting for answers. He spotted him, short black hair, jeans, navy blue t-shirt.

"You Detective Amaro?" he asked walking over.

He stood, shaking his hand. "Yes, I am. And you are?"

"A friend of Olivia's. The nurse said to check with you first," he said, sitting in the chair beside him. "What happened to her?"

He was hesitant, but the look in Elliot's eyes told him he was just as concerned, if not more. Amaro sighed. "Booby-trapped Meth lab. Benson spotted a kid in one of the rooms and went for him, only tripping the wire by accident. She had the boy in her arms when the blast went off… The burns and scars, most aren't major, but her chest required a few stitches. Lucky she survived."

"And the kid?"

"Injuries were too great. DOA. Are you a friend of the family or something? It seems like she'd know you, for some reason."

He sighed. "Yeah, you could say that," he said standing. "We were partners for 12 years."

"Tw—twevle years?" he asked. "You're…Elliot?"

He nodded, eyes narrowing. "Where were you when the blast went off?"

"Outside," he said with a sigh, "she told me she could handle it. That she'd watch her step."

"Yeah, when it comes to her and kids, she'll do anything to keep them safe. Just do me a favor: next time insist to go. Tell her I demand that she doesn't go it alone. She's strong, tough…but everyone has a weak spot."

Amaro stood, offering his hand. "Anything. She…talks so greatly of you. It's an honor, really."

Elliot shook it again. "Good to meet you. Just take better care of her from now on," he said, walking into Olivia's room.

Footsteps woke her from the light sleep she'd fallen into. She looked toward the door and around the room, but no one was there. She closed her eyes again, turning her head away.

He walked out from behind the next curtain. He knew she wouldn't be up to fighting, not when she was in this state. Just to see her this injured was hard.

He couldn't bring himself to blame Amaro. He was a Rookie, after all. Liv had been working for 13 years now and knew how dicey situations could get. As good a heart as she had, she would never want to put anyone inexperienced at risk, especially when she expected it to be just in and out.

But she still should've known better than to risk it without anyone.

He rested a hand on her cheek, lightly tracing the scars, before pulling up a chair beside.

She wasn't crying…exactly. She was thrilled to see him and, to some point, she guessed she understood his reason for leaving, but… "Why now?" she whispered.

Elliot leaned closer, knowing she'd spoken, but strained to hear her over how weak her voice was. There was pain there, heartache, but he'd expected that. "What did you say, Olivia?"

She turned her head, pain evident on her face from both the injury and seeing him again after all this time. "I asked why you came here. How did you know?"

He shook his head, resting a hand on her bandaged arm. "I just knew. Had a horrible feeling. Liv, I-I'm sorry. I just couldn't do this anymore. But it was even more unfair to you that I didn't tell you…"

She sighed. "Well, it was probably for the best. I would've tried to convince you to stay . . . for me. But it wouldn't have been right, for me to put that weight on you. I know you're sorry and I do understand it. This job isn't an easy one. Practically no days off, calls at all hours, women, children, and men all being molested, stalked, dismembered, raped and killed…"

"And I wouldn't have known how to respond if you had asked. 12 years you put up with me, saved my marriage and then there's Little Eli."

She smiled, taking his hand. "How are they by the way? Kathy?"

He nodded. "Wonderful, great. They love that I'm home now."

"They should. You're pretty irreplaceable, you know."

Minutes later, Amaro walked in. "Benson, you're conscious."

She nodded. "Yeah, it'll take a lot more than this to kill me. Oh, by the way, this is—"

He put his hand up. "We've met. Like I told him, it was quite the honor to meet the guy who's had your back for 12 years. He seems to deserve all you say about him."

"Do you want me to—?" Elliot went to leave, but she wouldn't let go. "I can't stay. I'm not on the force anymore."

Amaro walked over and closed the door. "For this, you're ok. Not like I expect you to be out there with your bare hands."

"I'd watch the ideas you put into his head," Olivia said.

Amaro sighed. "Anyway, the boy…he didn't make it. Gone before we reached here. With the power that explosion had you're lucky to be alive."

Olivia nodded. "I figured that might've been the case. I hoped not, but with how severe my injuries are…"

"Munch and Finn are tracking the guy now. They said I should stick close incase there's a hit."

"Hit?" she asked. "They're dealers responsible for the deaths of 5 teens and you're staying? No, no you go. You need to be out there! I'll be fine. I'm alive. Rollins is good with a gun. I realize, typically, Rookies shouldn't be assigned together, but when push comes to shove, well, you do what you have to. If Cragen has any problems, he can come find me. Go!"

He walked toward door, turning to Elliot. "Was she this…demanding when you were with her?"

"Give it time."

He nodded, leaving the room.

Elliot smiled. "Well, seems you've hardened quite a bit over the past year."

She shrugged. "Had no choice."

A knock on the frame, caused them to look up, seeing someone carrying roses. They were set on the tray, behind them, the carrier, ADA Alex Cabot. "Elliot? Didn't expect—Okay, that's not completely true, but it's still a welcomed surprise," she said hugging him and sitting on the bed.

"Hey Alex, how've you been?"

She sighed. "Good," she said, taking Olivia's opposite hand. "When did you wake up?"

"About 20 minutes ago. The pain level is…bearable."

"I don't think they can give you anything stronger. I'm sorry," she said, kissing her hand.

Olivia smiled. "I think my pain level just decreased."

Elliot smiled, smugly. "Why am I not surprised? I've known for a while you two had feelings. I just didn't think it was right to invade your personal lives. So is it safe to say, in my absence, you've found someone to shelter and help you through your pain, Liv?"

She smiled, bringing Alex's hand closer to kiss it. "Yeah, you could say that."

"Do you need anything?" Alex asked.

She shook her head. "I've got all I need."

THE END

Author's Note: What do you think?

Pleases R & R!

Liv-x-Lex4Ever