He turned my life entirely upside down. My life received a complete new dimension. He bursted so suddenly into my life, taking me aback. And I gave him the permitted him to do so. I always thought myself progressive. Apparently I hadn't been one bit progressive in terms of emotions as it seems. I didn't have to reveal myself. He understood me immediately. Not entirely, but at least predominantly. Otherwise I would still have been stubbornly living my greyish life as well as living it most of the part: alone.
Whilst my brain alongside my reason seemed to be somewhat indignant and didn't want to comprehend that I needed some change for the sake of being happy, my heart suggested letting some of his warmth in.
I myself was quite indignant in the face of the rare occasion of somebody understanding me and the fact that he could somehow get into my brain and influence me in a way every secret service of this doomed planet would be jealous about.
To my mind completely different values mattered. But none of these values carried any trace of feelings. On the contrary: In brief one could say that I was a cold brick denying any bit of feeling. Moreover I can't even really remember having that many feelings. Prussia, my sometimes dear brother, didn't do anything wrong while educating me. He educated me by his best means. He and most of the other older nations educated themselves more or less by themselves.
And my brother was born in order to fight being a battle machine. He grew up in troubled times.
Above all he was the most loving brother one could have. I don't know. Maybe he poured all of his love, which he couldn't really give to anyone over centuries, into me. Our family situation was almost as messy as the times back then. Nobody really knew who they were and who they actually wanted to be. And their people also didn't know who they wanted to be. But they knew they wanted to be something in the end. And all of this identity searching people suddenly became me.
I remember love. I remember burning love, warm love, hurting love, love of strange people. Maybe I knew that many kinds of love that I couldn't really understand anymore, what love really was. As I say: I just remember.
As long as I live, I guess, I searched for the true meaning of love. I had always been a person who needed clear explanations of things in other words: quite rational.
I remember once asking brother when I was little. He just began to laugh warmly and messed up my hair. Instead of answering children, adults are most of the time just talking about how cute their little companions are. That was what I thought. Back then I didn't understand that you couldn't explain love.
You can just evoke it.
A/N: Tomorrow I'll write an English exam. 6 hours long. Party hard. I remembered I could learn vocabularies better when I wrote texts with them. Well, this is some kind of weird creation of them :D. Sorry for mistakes, I'm soo tired.
Thank you for the reviews to my Sims 2 story. That really made me happy and encouraged me. At the moment I don't have that much time, but by no later than the winter vacation I'll go on with the game and write on.