Once upon a time there was a duck farm run by a man named Alastair. The ducks he kept were happy, for the most part. Occasionally some would disappear, leaving behind only feathers to taunt the remaining ducks with their mystery, but hey, life's a bitch right?
Well, one day a very odd duck named Cas decided that he wasn't going to stay any longer. Lately the human Alastair had been watching him a little too closely for the little duck's liking. So Cas concocts a plan to leave the duck farm once and for all.
What was his plan? You ask. Well. The duck farm was only surrounded by a small fence, one a duck could easily fly over. Cas decides that's how he's going to leave. He's going to fly right over that fence and off into the sky.
Being a duck and not therefore overly gifted with intelligence, Cas doesn't think about the huge flaw in his plan. Namely, if it would be so easy why hasn't anyone done it before? Tragically its only once Cas has climbed to the roof of Alastair's house and jumped that he realizes a very important fact: Alastair clipped the wings of his ducks.
Cas falls back to earth, breaking his neck and ending dreams of freedom.
Alastair, upon hearing the dull thunk of that little duck body falling to the ground, steps out to see the ducks crowded around poor Cas. With a grin of triumph the duck farmer scoops up the body and storms back into the house, leaving behind one very pissed off duck.
Dean was a big duck, he didn't take nonsense from nobody. He was also sort of in love with Cas, but don't tell him that. Having watched Cas' doomed bid for freedom, the subsequent failure and the farmer's callous treatment of the body, Dean got a headful of steam.
Quickly he called a meeting of all the ducks, and together, they hatched a plan for revenge upon the farmer that had stolen their freedom and friends.
The next morning when Alastair came out to feed the ducks, Dean screamed a war cry, and led them all into battle. They fell upon the evil farmer, buffeting him with their wings and pecking with their beaks until at last he was dead.
The victory part began. Dean and his brother Sam spent two days and night feasting with the ducks, celebrating the death of the farmer and the life of Cas. It wasn't until after those two days that they realized the flaw in their own plan.
They still couldn't leave. And the food was running out.
And so all the once proud ducks starved to death, able to see freedom, but never to taste it.
Well, accept for one unusually smart duck named Crowley who figured out Alastair's keys, but that's another story.
Oh. My. God. This is such pure crack. There's really no point to it, it's probably awfully inaccurate. But hey, it's here if anyone needs a huge dose of absurd tragedy in their day.