Meet Me Halfway

Summary: Addison is torn between a callous, insensitive ex-lover and a sweet, loving husband...who loves somebody else. Thing is, that ex-lover may not be as callous and insensitive as most people think he is. So, New York or Seattle?

A/N: First of all, I'd like to thank LizPotter-85 and Brenda for encouraging me to write a follow-up. Thanks, girls!

Just like in the actual show, I'm making my chapter titles the titles of actual songs. I did the same thing for two of my other fics, "No Such Thing" and "Voice Mail," simply because I find it to be a lot of fun--I don't mean to brag, but I have a knack for finding the perfect song for every occasion. I do love music, you know :) FYI, this first song was performed by The Rolling Stones, in case you didn't already know that LOL.

Anyway, ain't it obvious that I'm a Mark/Addison shipper? I will use this snippet, written by Erin of Television Without Pity as my inspiration for this story:

"'Your marriage is over, Addison,' says Mark. 'All you have to do is admit it.' He moves toward her and touches her face gently. 'I'm going to the bar across the street,' he says. 'Meet me there.' He exits, and Addison wonders if she can sleep with Mark again and somehow still save her marriage at the same time. No, Addison. No, you cannot. Now go back to New York and make lots and lots of whoopee with Dr. McSteamy as God intended."

Man, TWoP rocks! I recommend it to anyone who wants to read snarky, hilarious recaps of their favorite TV shows. :) FYI, you can visit TWoP at Television Without Pity (dot) com -- just remove the spaces. They won't let me post websites here LOL.

-o-

Chapter 1: You Can't Always Get What You Want (Addison's POV)

"Hey, it's me again. I still want you back here in New York, Addison, and I don't care that you didn't show up at the bar that night. Please call me."

I can't. I just can't let him know. Never mind that his face pops up in my mind every night before I fall asleep, even with Derek beside me. And never mind that I always think about the way his hand felt when he caressed my cheek in the elevator. I have a marriage that I am compelled to save because I don't want to be a statistic; I don't want to be part of the fortysomething percent of the population that is divorced, God damn it!

Derek is a sweet, handsome, intelligent man who deserves a happy marriage. I'm sure it never crossed his mind to cheat on me (Meredith doesn't count). I feel like this whole mess is all my fault and now I have to fix it.

God, am I a bad person? Was it wrong for me to lead Mark to think that I was just scratching an itch so that he wouldn't follow me once I left New York? Was it wrong for me to pretend that I still love Derek so that I could keep this pipe dream of me saving our marriage alive? Hell, even Meredith is affected by this whole thing.

I rolled over on the bed, not bothering to change out of the red dress I wore to the SGH "prom." It's two in the morning and Derek hasn't come home yet. Kind of says a lot about our marriage, doesn't it? Things are back to the way they were before Mark. He's practically never home. Tonight he says it's because he needed to contact Denny Duquette's immediate relatives.

He isn't fooling anybody, though. I know he's not over Meredith, Finn or no Finn. Not that I blame her. She's a sweet girl. It kind of hurts me to know that I'm responsible for ruining whatever she and Derek had in my lame attempt to resuscitate our marriage. But still, he's Derek and he deserves better than a wife who cheated on him with his best friend, even though his best friend was there for me whenever he wasn't. I loved Derek once, didn't I? I owe it to him to try to make this work.

I remember what I told Mark the night I left New York.

"Please, Addison...what we shared was special."

I wrapped my jacket tighter around me and picked up my suitcase. "Derek never deserved any of this."

"He doesn't even see you when you're there. Why do you want to stay married to a guy like that?"

"Shut up," I spat. "You're a jerk, you know? Seducing your best friend's wife? Nice. Yeah, that's what friends are for."

"But I--"

"You ruined our marriage, Mark! I regret doing it, and I hope I never see you again." I turned around and ran before he saw the tears running down my eyes. If he did see them, he'd know that I was lying.

It astounds me, really. I scream all of those horrible things at his face and he still calls me everyday. What kind of a man is that?

Maybe I wasn't convincing enough. Of course, it's hard to lie to the man you love. I mean, there was also that time he visited Seattle Grace.

I looked him in his eyes, as gray as I remembered them. "Why are you here?"

"For one reason...to bring you home. I miss you, Addison."

I resisted the urge to fly into his arms right then and there. Please, please just go away. "I'm in love with my husband, Mark."

...Well, I was trying to be. Of course, "I'm attempting to be in love with my husband" isn't nearly as convincing.

I tried, Lord knows I tried my hardest to ignore my feelings for Mark for a good year or so. But why did he have to be so funny and witty and charming and sexy? Why did he have to say all the right things at exactly the right time? Why did he have to possess such an alluring, mischievous, devil-may-care grin? Why did he make my knees turn to jelly whenever he was near? And why, oh why, was he always there for me whenever Derek wasn't?

I loved my husband, didn't I? At least, I thought I did. Even if at our wedding, I couldn't take my eyes off of the best man. Even if I lost my train of thought entirely every time Mark smiled at me. Yes, despite all that, I was pretty sure I loved Derek. Handsome, caring Derek, who was the best neurosurgeon in all of New York.

Perhaps the only reasonable explanation for this would be...Mister Perfect isn't always Mister Right.

Should I attempt to fix what everyone knows is irreparable?

My cellphone lights up before I get the chance to think it over. It's Mark, again. He really deserves better than to end up with a liar like me.

I leave it lying on the bed as it continues to ring. Derek isn't home yet. It's an awful long time to spend informing Denny's relatives that he's passed away, isn't it?

It continues to ring. I want to answer his call, every night I want to answer his call, but sometimes Derek's around. And when he isn't...well, I don't want to tempt fate. It's what wrecked my marriage in the first place, anyway. I'm not taking any chances this time around.

Finally, it's stopped ringing. I wait a few seconds before checking the voice mail.

"Hey, Addison. I should probably stop wasting money on a daily basis, so this is my last voice mail. Forget what I said in Seattle, I hope things work out between you and Derek. You both deserve the best. I'll still be here in the same old place in New York if you ever change your mind. I'll show up in Seattle again if you want me to. And I still hope you'll call. Love, Mark."

So...this is the last I'll be hearing of him.

Okay.

Good.

Good!

...Not good.

I dial his number. Yes, even after all this time, I still memorize it. My thumb hovers over the "Call" button. Should I?

Damn it. Erase, erase, erase. What would I say, anyway?

Hell, I know what I want to say. I want to say, fuck this, I want to go home and be with you because I love you, you son of a bitch. But I need to say, I don't love you anymore, and thank you for no longer calling me, and have a nice life while I stay in my crappy marriage here in Seattle. Well, minus that last part. I could say, I love you, Mark, but I have to try to make things work with Derek, and I hope you find somebody who loves you as much as I do, and unlike me, is willing to show it.

Yeah, I'll tell him that. Honesty is the way to go. I dial his number again.

Just as I am about to press the "Call" button, though, the trailer door swings open.

Derek's home.