Fragile Existence

Prologue

None of it was real; I never did find Squall after The Battle. It was merely Time Compression messing around with my mind. I remember someone telling me to think of where I wanted to be, who I wanted to be with, so that we would all come back together. I assume they all imagined themselves safely back in Balamb, or just back at the Garden… But I wanted to be with Squall. I wanted him to be by my side; I wanted to make sure he was still alive. Although I was thinking only of him, I never truly did find him. I thought I had found him, out in that barren desert… but it was only a dream; it was only the forces of Time Compression disrupting my mind.

Why wasn't Squall really there? Did he die? What happened to him? I just can't think of any logical reason as to why he didn't come back with us. Why was he the only one that didn't come back? Why did he have to disappear? These questions will probably never be answered if I just sit around doing nothing. I have to take action. I have to find out what happened to him and if he's still out there somewhere. I will find him if it's the last thing I do. I won't let anything get in my way. I won't let anything stop me. Kurse anyone who gets in my way…

It was weeks after The War had ended. Stories of The Battle flooded news papers and televisions everywhere. The disappearance of Squall was broadcast world-wide in hopes that someone might find him. Still to this day, there are no leads, no nothing. Some people have already forgotten about him and have moved on to better things. The only people who seem to really care are those who attend any of the three Gardens. Headmaster Cid is especially distraught at the fact that Squall did not returned from The Battle. Even Seifer shows signs of dismay knowing that his rival didn't make it back; who is he to scoff at now? Who would he be able to challenge in a one-on-one battle with Gunblades?

I don't think anyone is as distraught as Laguna Loire is. Although I am not completely positive, I do have a hunch that he may be Squall's father. After all, he did tell Squall that he had something to tell him after everything was over. I could only imagine Laguna was waiting to tell him the truth. Again, I'm not completely positive, but I will find out soon. Esthar has been doing well, considering their president is evidently depressed. No one really knows about it though because you could only imagine how the city would react if they found out that the president was falling apart. Being the biggest city in the world, Laguna has to be careful not to upset Esthar so hell won't break loose. Everyone adores him so much; it is hard not to love him. He does everything right and stands for all that is peaceful.

Laguna had come to Balamb Garden shortly after The Battle and talked to Cid about Squall. I couldn't help but eave's drop on their conversation. Although I didn't get all of the details, I heard enough to know that Laguna is becoming more depressed and anxious as each day rolls by. He even mentioned something about taking some time away from his presidential duties to visit Winhill. I'm sure I'll be able to find him there soon. I've been calling Kiros a lot to check up on Laguna, but so far there's no news of him leaving to Winhill.

Quistis is severely upset about Squall's disappearance; she has vowed to never give up on searching for him if it is the last thing she does. I know her and Squall were close before I came in to the picture, so I can understand why she is so upset. She's been out to several towns and cities looking for Squall. Zell tags along with her for support. Selphie and Irvine have retreated to Trabia. I know they care a lot about Squall, but they also care a lot about Trabia Garden and its repair. Their plan is to stay up in Trabia and help with the Garden, as well as keep up with the search for Squall in the northern regions.

I on the other hand have been doing my own thing. I know it seems almost unreal that we would all separate and go our own ways, especially when there is one of us missing, but we decided that we could cover more ground if we split up. I offered to do my investigating alone. I couldn't possibly have my friends see me this way; I don't want them to see how much of a wreck I have become. I try to be strong, but I can't help but breakdown in tears over the loss of the one thing that meant the most to me: Squall Leonheart; my knight.

I can't stay here any longer for I am only wasting time now. Cid will be leaving Balamb Garden soon to join Edea at the Orphanage. There are so many questions I have to ask him about Squall, and there are so many questions I have been dying to ask Edea. This whole Sorceress business better not interrupt my quest to find Squall. Even though I am a Sorceress, I'm sure it won't take over me like it had Edea, Adel and Ultimecia. I know it was ultimately Ultimecia who was controlling each of them, but somehow I don't believe Ultimecia has completely left the world… I even have nightmares where she takes control of me again. It's frightening, but it can't be real. Right?

I shouldn't worry about that right now. I need to get out of this room and begin my quest to find Squall. I will find him some day and when I do, I will never let him go. I can't go another day without my knight by my side… I'm afraid that someday I may lose kontrol over my powers…