A/N. Okay, so no one really thinks of Stormtroopers as super tough and scary, right? Because this fluff is going to completely disabuse anyone who reads it of that notion, if they have it! I just wanted to take a peek at the men behind the masks… I mean, Finn can't be the only one who isn't completely devoid of a heart (especially where baby animals are concerned), and Stormtroopers have to do something with their spare time. I originally planned on writing a fic where a baby chick was adopted by a Stormtrooper, but the warmth, diet, and frequent monitoring a baby chick requires turned out to be too difficult for a Stormtrooper who has limited time (and a need to keep his pet secret) to be able to accomplish. Plus, another cat fit in nicely with Millicent, the cat of fandom fame.
Disclaimer: Two Stormtroopers and a cat are mine (What more could you want?), but everyone and everything else belongs to Lucasfilm or Disney.
O0o
SL 7200, better known as Sev to his Stormtrooper unit, was methodically blasting apart buildings when he heard a mew. A little ball of fluff, covered with dark patches of dirt and soot, peeked out from among the ruins of a home.
Sev lowered his blaster and knelt, hand clearing away the rubble the kitten was hiding behind. Two liquidy eyes met his. It didn't seem to fear him, even though the cold, white mask of a Stormtrooper concealed any sign of human warmth.
He gently scooped it up, and it snuggled up against him with a purr. Glancing around quickly, he strode through the debris of collapsed homes and dug through piles of rubbish until he had found a torn cloak. "Here you go, little one," he murmured, rolling her up in it. From the middle of the tunnel of fabric, two eyes stared out at him disdainfully. "It's just for a little while, I promise. I'm going to get you off this planet." The Stormtroopers were returning to the ship, sweeping up into their transports like a massive white wave, and Sev allowed himself to blend in and drift in the flow. As he went up the ramp past the captain, he turned his shoulders sideways to prevent an easy view of the bundle he held casually under his arm. Fortunately, he had another Stormtrooper on either side of him, and the captain was in too much of a hurry to return to Starkiller base to notice the cloak.
His heart was still pounding as he sat in the transport several minutes later. What had he been thinking? How in the galaxy was he going to be able to hide a kitten on Starkiller base? Suddenly, the kitten wiggled. Sev started guiltily, his gaze shooting to his comrades, but none of them offered any indication of noticing the unusual movements of his cloak. He relaxed and reached down to still the-
MEEW! came the protest.
The other Stormtroopers had definitely noticed that. Sev hastily tapped his helmet. "I think my helmet comlink is broken. It has been making the oddest noises all day."
SL 4225 stared at him, and Sev could imagine the suspicion in his best friend's eyes. "You had better get that fixed before the next inspection. I have never heard a comlink so, so- "
"Catlike," offered another trooper.
Sev nodded meekly. "Yes, that was odd. I will make sure to get it checked out. Starkiller Base is the last place I want to draw command's attention to myself right now."
Fortunately, this diverted the other Stormtroopers' attention to a discussion of the latest show down between Kylo Ren and General Hux. Sev breathed an inward sigh of relief, and his fingers moved minutely to stroke the bundle, which gave a low, rumbling purr.
Instead of heading to his unit's barracks when they reached the base, Sev immediately headed to the kitchen. Fortunately, one of the cooks he knew was working in the bustling kitchen, giving directions to a droid about the preparations for a dish. She was moving to punch some numbers into a timer on one of the cooking devices when she caught a glimpse of him.
"Sev?" she asked. She had been one of his older sister's friends during their school days, and it had been pure luck that they had both been assigned to Starkiller Base and had run into each other upon arrival. Or maybe it had been the will of the Force: Sev had always doubted the existence of the mysterious energy field, but he had reconsidered his opinions upon seeing Kylo Ren choke an officer from across the room and suspend blaster bullets. He was just grateful he had never had any more chances to witness the power of the Force up any closer.
"Hello, Tatama!" Sev called, over the sizzling of vegetables and the banging of trays. There was a clatter and a burst of scolding in another language as another cook scolded a droid for dropping a utensil. The kitchen that provided sustenance for all the construction workers, Stormtroopers, Imperial officers, and other staff on Star Killer base was bustling at almost all hours of the day, and Sev liked to watch the kitchen personnel at work when he had a few spare moments. Cooking had always been an interest of his, but today he was on a mission. And a Stormtrooper on a mission never lost his focus, as his instructors at the Imperial Academy had repeatedly drilled into him. "Do you have an extra one of those fruit crates with the hinged lids that I could borrow?" he asked. "I have some things I picked up from our trips off Starkiller base, and I need somewhere to put them all."
"No space for them in your cubby, huh?" Tatama asked. "Well, that's a good idea about the boxes. I've got one in the corner here." She moved over to the stack of crates and bent over them, brushing back a strand of brown hair that had fallen out of her braid. "Some of the lids got cracked in transit, but there should be one with the lid intact in here. Ah, yes, here you go," she said, tugging a crate out of the sack.
"Thanks, Tatama," Sev said. He tucked his bundle and the sideways lid into the crate and hoisted it into his arms. "I'll see you later."
He reached the quarters he shared with his unit and set the crate down to punch his identification code into the keypad. As the door slid open, he was grateful to see that the room was too busy to analyze his entry or his squirming bundle too closely. Stormtroopers were polishing their armor, sitting on their beds and chatting with their helmets in their laps, or lying down to catch snippets of sleep before their next task. Sev stowed the crate under his bunk, which was fortunately the lower of the two, and managed to discreetly slip his bundle out of it. He headed promptly to the refresher and thanked the Force that it was empty. As he lifted the cloak and began to unwind it, a drop of yellow liquid splatted on his foot. "That's all right," he said aloud to the kitten, with a sigh. "I should have known there was no way you could last that long. At least I haven't polished my armor yet."
The kitten sprang out of the folds of the blanket, surprising him with a faceful of fur. "Whoa there. I guess someone's glad to be let out!" Sev chuckled. "Now, let's get you cleaned up." He grabbed a towel and wet it, rubbing the kitten gently but firmly until her fur was clean. She purred and rubbed up against the towel, apparently finding the motions soothing.
Sev smiled at her thoughtfully. "Now what shall I call you? How about Bantha? You're so shaggy that you almost look like one. Do you like that?"
"Bantha?" a voice repeated.
Sev thrust the towel over the kitten and whirled around. His friend SL 4225, nicknamed Finger because he had lost one in combat, was standing in the doorway.
As the door slid shut behind his friend, Sev stammered, "Um, uh, nothing. Just talking to myself."
"You were calling yourself a Bantha? And telling yourself that you looked like one?" said Finger skeptically. His eyes suddenly widened, his mouth dropping open. He pointed, and Sev followed his finger. Bantha was standing on dainty paws, the towel draped over her back and hanging over one ear.
Finger yanked off his helmet so Sev could see his glare. "You brought home a cat? Force, Sev, do you know what command's going to do to you if they find out about this?"
"I've been trying not to think about it," Sev admitted.
"Well, you'd better think about it! What about food, and something to line a litterbox, and the noise the cat will make? The comlink excuse only works so many times. And then there's the problem of exercise and company- you can't keep her in that crate every day for her whole life. How do you expect to hide a cat and care for it without anyone noticing?"
"With the help of my good friend," Sev said, staring at him pointedly.
Finger crossed his arms and turned away. "I don't know who that would be," he said stubbornly. For a moment, there was complete silence. Then, to Sev's delight, the kitten sashayed along the edge of the sink and rubbed against Finger's arm, warm body vibrating with purrs. Finger turned his head slightly and saw the two bright eyes looking up at him. When he glanced at Sev, his gaze was met by a second pair of bright, hopeful eyes.
"Oh, fine!" he said, tossing his hands up in the air. "But if this gets discovered and we find ourselves impaled on the end of Kylo Ren's lightsaber, it's your fault." He picked up the cat and inspected her, a smirk spreading across his face as he realized something about Bantha that he wasn't about to tell Sev.
O0o
Soon, it wasn't just Finger who was in on Sev's secret. The whole unit discovered the kitten and become quite fond of Bantha. For the next several months, they all saved parts of their meals and smuggled her tidbits of cooked egg, meat, and fruit from the mess hall. Whenever odd purrings and rustling became audible during a room inspection, several of the Stormtroopers suddenly contracted colds with very nasty coughs that seemed to rattle their very bunks and would have drowned out Starkiller Base itself firing. Whoever was off duty made sure to take Bantha out of her crate for snuggles and games with a piece of string. The troopers hurriedly cleaned up any accidents, invented excuses for the occasional damp spots, and tried to train the kitten to use the refresher. While their efforts were becoming more successful, they all still found it necessary to scavenge for materials to line the cat's crate. Finger had even smugly snuck some sand into their quarters, which everyone suspected (although no one dared to suggest out loud) had come from General Hux's supply for his own cat Millicent's litterbox.
However, Bantha was still very much Sev's baby. No matter the person or how interesting the game she was engaged in was, she would always abandon it when Sev walked in. At night, she always slept with him under the blankets, a warm, vibrating little body snuggled up against his chest.
One morning, after the unit returned from a group exercise, the crate was empty. Sev felt around under the bed, but he couldn't feel the brush of Bantha's fur against his fingers. He dropped back on his knees, peering desperately under the beds. "Bantha! Bantha?"
"She's a cat, not a dog," observed Finger from where he was leaning against the wall. "She's not going to come at your call."
"She's my cat," said Sev stubbornly. "And she does come at my call. Besides, that doesn't matter right now. She's not in her crate, Finger!"
"She has to be in here somewhere. She couldn't have gotten out." Soon the whole unit was on their knees, peering under the beds and calling the cat's name, despite Finger's repeated protests that she wouldn't answer. It soon became clear that Bantha was nowhere in the room.
Sev buried his face in his hands. "Who knows what command will do to Bantha if they find her? And I'm going to get kicked off of Starkiller Base for defying orders! But it never said specifically in our orders that we couldn't adopt kittens off the planets the First Order has razed, did it?" he asked hopefully.
"Our orders don't forbid us to steal sand from the General's cat's personal litterbox, either, but you know how that would fly as an excuse. But, forget that! Command will know there is no way you could have kept a kitten in here and raised it without the other men in our room noticing. We aided and abetted you, and this whole unit is doomed if we can't find that cat."
Sev grabbed his helmet and tugged it on. "Well, then let's go!" The Stormtroopers raced out the door, then tried to school their stride to a casual walk as they split up and began their search. They blended in well, but any careful observer would have noticed them stop periodically to peek into a nook or crevice and hiss, "Bantha!"
Suddenly, Sev felt a slight tingling, almost a tug, at the edge of his mind. Finger was rounding the corner, and a few seconds later Sev saw him frown.
"You felt that too?" he murmured.
Finger winced. "Yes. It was Kylo Ren mindreading. Be grateful he was gentle this time. Other times, he has completely destroyed people's minds that way."
A shiver of fear travelled down Sev's spin. "Then he saw about Bantha." A moment later, his comlink crackled. "Stormtrooper SL 7200, please come to the command room."
"I would say that's a yes," Finger said grimly.
When Sev reached the command room, both Hux and Ren were standing there with their backs to the two Stormtroopers. Hux turned, and there in his arms was Bantha. Hux's fingers messaged in small, steady circles behind the cat's ears, and Bantha rolled her eyes happily. Sev felt a twinge of something like jealousy or betrayal, and he would have laughed at his possessive feelings if Kylo Ren had not just turned to him, his expression unreadable under his mask.
"So, you are the reason I found this cat- "Kylo paused. "Uh, visiting, with General Hux's pet in my rooms."
He could almost already feel the tightening of invisible fingers round his neck. "Yes, sir," he croaked. "Please, don't hurt her."
"Master Ren will not hurt the cat, SL 7200," said Hux, stroking the cat's head. "But it is not a she."
"It isn't? But we thought all this time…" Sev heard a snort come from behind Kylo Ren's mask that sounded suspiciously like "Stormtroopers." He glanced at him cautiously, then turned back to Hux. "If you don't mind my, ah, asking, sir…How can you tell?"
"General Hux! Even though your Stormtrooper program clearly does not sufficiently address cat gender identification, I don't think it is necessary to hold, er, a discussion of that here and now," Kylo Ren said.
For once, Hux seemed to agree and was relieved, even grateful, for Kylo's interference. "I agree. We do have the matter of what to do with the cat now. And, er, there is the possibility that he may be a father."
"As I said," Kylo grumbled, "they were visiting in my room."
Hux ignored him. "If there are kittens, I will dispose of them on the next world we stop at. We certainly cannot have kittens running around here."
"Yes, sir," said Sev meekly.
"And as to your cat, you may keep it for now. Just keep him away from Millicent, do not let him escape from your quarters again, and see that he does not distract you or your unit from their duties. Understood?"
Sev beamed and saluted. "Oh, yes, sir!"
As the Stormtrooper left with the cat in his arms, Kylo glanced at Hux. "I think letting him keep that cat gained you more allegiance than your whole training program."
"Please do not mock my training program again, Master Ren." Hux had a lot more patience for cats than he did for people, and especially for the upstart Dark Side user who was trying to snatch Hux's power in addition to what he had already claimed.
"I am not mocking it, General," Kylo said, innocence leaking out even from under the gravelly voice filter. "I simply think it might it be a worthy experiment to give each unit of Stormtroopers a cat. You could use the kittens Millicent will kindly provide, and I would gladly propose the idea to the Supreme Leader-"
"I think not," Hux said. "Unless you found the activity in your room so palatable that you would like to see more of it."
There was a moment of silence. "No. No, I don't think that idea was so great after all."
