Hi. My name is Santana Lopez. I just came out to my parents. "Flipped out" is an understatement of their reaction.

It was a normal night at the Lopez home. We were gathered around the TV watching a rerun of The Cosby Show. I had talked this out with Brittany and Quinn and they thought it would be a convincing story. I hate to say they were wrong.

"Mom. Dad. I want to tell you something." I spoke up after a long night of silence.

Dad turned off the TV and they both faced toward me.

Come on San.

I stood up in the middle of our living room and crossed my arms. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes.

"Mom and Dad. You know I love you both very much... and you're supposed to share things with people that you love... well I have a secret. That I think that you guys should know." I started off. I could tell they knew something was wrong because Dad only sits up straight for important announcements.

"Mami. Papi. I'm gay." A tear rolled down my face for every silent second.

"What?" My mom demamded.

"I said-"

"No I know what you said! How dare you betray this family's wishes?" She screamed at me, rising out of her seat.

"Mami I can't help it..." I tried to defend myself and to no suprise, I failed.

"How can you not help being GAY! You can stop gay! You werent born this way Santana!"

"Now hold up just a damn minute!" My father cut in. I ran in to his arms sobbing.

"I don't see a problem with her being gay!"
He protested. Daddy always has the right thing to say.

My moms fuse had completely blown and she was yelling out in Spanish and looking for a bible.

"You have no problem with out daughter being a FAGGOT?"

No other words could hurt so much coming from my mother.

I broke from my father's grip amd ran up stairs sobbing.

I could hear my moms words of hate through a closed door and my blubbering.

faggot

lesbo

dyke

It all hurts so bad. All I wanted was a little bit of honesty in my life, and what do I get?

This.

My mother ranting about something I have no control over, and her screaming about how I'm gonna go to hell.

Just classic, Santana.

What to do now?

Go over to Brittany's?

No they'll figure out about us.

Kill myself?

No. This family doesn't need publicity.

I ran to the bathroom and stared at myself in the mirror.

I should have kept my mouth shut.

I wouldn't be up here trying to keep my composure.

My eyes were stinging and I could hardly see what I was doing.

I opened the medicine cabinet and stared at the little metal blade I once called a buddy.

Before Coach Sue let us back on the team I struggled with my sexuality... a lot. So i'd cut on my inner thighs as punishment for thinking about my best friend in "that way."

I eventually had to stop and buy some Miderma, and the scars were gone.

I wont be around the other cheerleaders for a while so I might as well try to soothe my pain in an easy, temporary measure.

I picked up the razor, lifted up my skirt, and carved "faggot" down both my thighs.

"Santana! Sanny come out of there!" My mother demanded.

"No!" I yelled.

She banged on the door harder and started cussing at at me. "Santana Fucking Lopez get your ass out of that bathroom!"

I stripped, turned on the shower, and drowned my bloody legs in hot water beads.

Maybe ill come out of the shower later.

Maybe ill come out of the shower never.

Right now, the only things that are comforting to me are a razor blade and hot water.

(A/N: What do you all think? You think I could've done better? I've never been in this type of situation. I'm not really good at writing these stories but I tried to think of what would happen if this ever happened to me. Probably this. Review my little glitterbugs xoxodarriencrissxoxo)