Things washed away

by RoyalTee

This story picks up immediately following Jacob and Bella's failed movie date with Mike Newton. Long before the events of twilight a portion of the Quileute tribe was lost during a great storm never to be heard from again, but what if they didn't just vanish and the wolf gene lived inside of them too? What if they too felt a birth right to the land? Would there be war or peace?

1. Chapter 1: Ascension

I had no idea why I was wound so tight tonight. Tonight should have been a great night for me. I went on a date with none other than Bella Swan…I mean yea sure she brought along some creeper from her school, but that's neither here nor there it was still the "Jake and Bells Show" all night, and an episode that happens to be my personal favorite if I might say so myself. Still towards the end I felt this undeniable energy building up inside of me ready to explode at any moment, by the time I dropped Bella off I felt as though I could participate in a triathlon and still swim the English Channel. I had just pulled up to my house and finished parking the rabbit when I felt that energy turn into pure rage. It was stifling, blinding and it came from every fiber of my being.

So here I am pacing around my garage like a mad man, and in rolls dad with this awkward look on his face sizing me up.

"What do you want old man?" I asked in voice I didn't recognize.

"Everything OK son? You look a little on edge," he said looking at me with wide eyes. " Maybe you want to go take a walk?"

I stopped pacing and actually looked at him, before I could respond I notice that I could actually hear his heartbeat racing at an unnatural pace. I could clearly see each bead of sweat that was beginning to form at the base of his hairline; I could hear his breath hitch and each rough swallow of saliva he made.

" If I wanted to go for a walk dad, I would be out walking. I would much rather you leave me alone right now."

I said again in that deep double timbered voice that didn't belong to me. Obviously my father noticed as he flinched and bowed his head as though he couldn't help it. Before I got a chance to acknowledge what just happened, I felt rather than saw the presence of three other people approaching the house.

"There is someone at the door dad, why don't you tend to that."

With one last look in my direction I saw him plead with his eyes that I don't do anything crazy as he rolled back toward the house.

I needed to get a grip and soon, if I didn't I swear I felt as though I was going to combust from the fiery rage I felt boiling over inside of me. Come on Jacob rein it in man, think of happy things like making cookies with mom and how she would sing old Quileute children's songs with you. Don't think about the idiot piece of shit drunk driver that took her life in an instant. "Arrrrrrrrgh!" I yelled out of frustration, those thoughts only increased my rage. I began to tremble and feel intense pain in my bones. I tried steadying my breath and thinking of Bella, I felt myself relax if only a fraction. I thought of the sound of her laughter and how it reminded me of the tinkling of fine China or the sound of the most musical wind chimes. I thought about the beautiful chocolate orbs that were her eyes, and how they could either be swimming pools of emotion or fierce guardians of her heart. Just when I felt myself beginning to see through the haze of rage, I thought of how broken she was when she first came to me. How she would literally hold herself together to keep from mentally and emotionally falling apart.

How could anyone do that to her? He just left her fractured and alone lying in the woods. What kind of cowardly asshole does that? If I ever, EVER see Edward fucking Cullen he is a dead man. I will be his reckoning. He will rue the day he ever laid eyes on Isabella Swan. At that thought the pain came back even fiercer as my rage festered inside of my chest like an infected wound.

I stumbled behind my father towards the house while my senses went into overload; it was as if I could hear every heartbeat within a 5-mile radius pounding in my ears and see each individual hair in my father's ponytail swaying in the wind.

"Dad something is wrong with me." I said my voice going hoarse. " I…I don't know what this is!"

He stopped and turned to me, and when my eyes met his he never looked more like the chief of our people then in that moment.

"All will be revealed soon son, I am sorry that you have to endure this. You are not alone Jacob, this is a proud burden you must carry." He began. " Tonight you join your brothers as the protectors of our people and of the lands of which you traverse. You will get through this Jacob and you will emerge as a warrior."

Just as he finished I fell to my knees in front of him and cried out.

"Billy we need you to move it isn't safe to be that close to him." Someone said in a commanding voice.

I looked up to see where the voice came from and saw that behind my father stood the La Push Gang, also known as Jared Hatch, Paul Lahote, Embry Call and none other than Sam Uley their fearless leader. All with Glowing yellow eyes. Before I could react to their presence I felt the pain in my bones reach its breaking point, and with one last cry of pain I roughly pushed my father's chair away from me and seconds later I exploded into a giant fur covered beast.

What the hell? I thought panicked, what is this?! I looked at everyone around me for some explanation, but I was met with nothing but stunned expressions. I tried to take stock of what was happening to me, I felt like I was on all fours but I was way too high up for that to be possible. From what I could tell of my face I had a muzzle that definitely wasn't there a moment ago and if I had to take a guess I would say it was of the canine variety. My tongue felt wider and more textured than before, and my saliva seemed to be thicker and more copious. I tried to speak and it came out as some kind of bark, whimper combo.

I had to get my thoughts together before I went insane or at least anymore insane then I already was. I had never been more afraid in my life then I was in this moment, everything was wrong, I was wrong. Inside of my mind I could feel and hear thoughts and emotions that weren't entirely my own. It was almost as if I could feel another presence inside of my head, not a completely different being, but it was as if I was meeting a part of myself I had never met before. I could feel the new consciousness trying to reassure me that everything was OK, the whole experience felt extremely spiritual.

"Well shit!" Paul exclaimed looking at me with wide eyes. He let out a whistle of a approval. "Jake phased like a pro man."

"No kidding." Sam said before taking a few steps towards me with his hands spread wide. "Easy Jacob, I know this is all confusing right now." He stopped a few yards away. "I promise to explain, but right now I need you to follow me to the trees."

He said in an unassailable voice and then he burst forward as a giant wolf with fur as black as night and glossy like onyx.

A wolf! Sam was a wolf! I must also be a wolf too! At this thought I tried to check to see if I had a tail, and on my third or fourth revolution I heard laughter. Well sort of heard I guess, because it wasn't audible it was inside my mind. I must really be dreaming and I wish someone would kick me in the dingle berries

"AHH JACOB WHO KNEW YOUR MIND WOULD BE SO COMICAL." A voice in my head boomed. " SAM AND I AM SORRY FOR "BOOMING"" Sam said chuckling. Hearing Sam in my head was somehow different from hearing my "spirit wolf" as I had taken to calling the new presence in my mind. The wolf and I communicated in a spiritual way, he never actually spoke words, and his thoughts just seemed to run parallel to my own.

"Sam? Why are you in my head?"

"IT IS HOW WE COMMUNICATE AS WOLVES BROTHER. WELCOME TO THE PACK"

"Pack? As in wolf pack?" I asked incredulously. "So the legends are true?"

"THEY ARE. WE ARE THE PROTECTORS OF OUR PEOPLE."

" So what I'm supposed to spend the rest of my life as a monster?" I asked angrily. " How do I change back Sam?"

"YOU ARE NOT A MONSTER JACOB." Sam stated calmly. "THERE IS GREAT HONOR IN THIS JACOB."

" Tell me how to change back Sam." I said angrily followed by a growl. "Now!"

"YOU NEED TO CALM DOWN JACOB. YOU HAVE MUCH TO LEARN." Sam stated again in that same mono-toned calm voice laced with authority. " I KNOW THIS ISN'T A WELCOMED DUTY BROTHER, BUT COME LET ME SHOW YOU ALL THAT IS AT STAKE AND THEN YOU CAN CHOOSE TO COWER IF YOU WISH." he sneered. "YOU WILL FOLLOW ME TONIGHT JACOB."

The moment my brain processed the words I felt my body acquiesce as though controlled by some unseen force. Before I followed Sam I knew that I would, every muscle in my body told me to comply, even if I didn't want to.

" I HAVE ISSUED AN ALPHA ORDER." Sam explained. "YOU ARE UNABLE TO DISOBEY ME. I WILL LIFT IT WHEN YOU HAVE HEARD ALL THAT I HAVE TO SAY."

I tried one last time to disobey Sam just out of stubbornness, as I tried Sam began to circle me as if waiting for the moment I did.

"THIS IS USELESS JACOB. SUBMIT TO MY WILL." Sam ordered and for the first time tonight he wasn't so calm. His prowling around me began to turn predatory. I could hear a low threatening warning growl coming from him.

I began to growl myself, a sound that came from low in my chest as I tried to fight yet another Alpha-order. "NO!" I forced out as my struggle began to render me mentally exhausted.

"SUBMIT NOW JACOB! I AM YOUR ALPHA!" Sam roared as he began to growl menacingly mere inches from my face.

I could no longer stand and I was forced to my belly baring my neck to Sam in submission. I whimpered under the weight of the commands. Sam stood above me and growled threateningly into my throat before retreating seemingly satisfied.

"JACOB WHEN YOU FIGHT ME YOU ONLY MAKE IT HARDER FOR US TO FUNCTION AS A UNIT. I DO NOT TAKE ORDERING MY BROTHERS AROUND LIGHTLY." Sam said. "I KNOW THIS IS NOT AN EASY THING TO ACCEPT BROTHER. HOWEVER IT IS OUR BURDEN TO BEAR AND WE DO SO PROUDLY. OUR PEOPLE NEED US IN THIS TIME OF UNREST JACOB."

I lay at Sam's feet panting after the mental and physical strain trying to go against the order put me through, but I begin to feel the weight placed on me recede. When I was able to stand on my feet again I truly began to listen to Sam's words.

"Sam I don't understand, what could possibly threaten our people that we would need to be...sh-sh-shifters?" I asked disbelievingly.

"ALL WILL BE REVEALED SOON BROTHER." Sam said before making a yipping sound that was soon followed by three new voices in my head.

" Jake are you OK man?" asked one voice. " It's Embry bro."

" I'm a giant wolf that hears voices Embry." I answered sarcastically. " Never been better."

"That's the spirit Black," said another voice. " Way to be an optimist." I couldn't make up my mind if it was Paul or Jared.

" Jared bro." Jared clarified.

" Paul's being quiet cause' he owes me five bucks." Embry said. " He swore Sam would have to take a chunk out of you."

" Oh whatever Call he came close enough to it." Paul shot back. " Who knew the pup would give up so easy."

"ENOUGH. JACOB HAS MUCH TO LEARN TONIGHT." Sam cut in and said to me. " RUN WITH US BROTHER."

With one last look in my direction he threw back his head and released a howl of welcoming that was echoed by my brothers, it began rich with pride and boisterous, but ended somber and compassionate; compassion for me as I too must now carry this weight on my shoulders.

Just as I reached the edge of the forest I turned to look at my father, he looked back at me, eyes shinning with pride before giving me a firm nod. The pack and I, together as one, took off into the night. It was like nothing I had ever felt before, us all running in perfect synchronization at top speed. I could feel emotions that I recognized were not my own, I was completely in-tuned with the emotions of the pack. They were unique and unified at the same time. I fit in as though I was the missing jigsaw piece to complete the puzzle. I was unsure of this supernatural world but it felt right.

I tentatively opened myself to the emotions of the pack and was quickly assailed with feelings of pride, exhilaration and freedom. We were all on a supernatural high as we ran without abandon along the path that Sam set before us.

We ran through dense wooded areas with skill and agility I never knew I possessed, I noticed that as fast we were going everything around me should have been a blur, but I could make out every detail. Even though it was close to midnight I could see everything as though it was noon, colors and creatures I had never seen before jumped out to me; with sounds and smells I had never experienced. It was exhilarating to say the least. I could feel my brother's excitement being driven by my own and it was indescribable. As I came out of my revere I noticed that I could hear their thoughts as well, intermingling with my own.

"Yea…you'll get used to that." Embry said.

" Really?" I scoffed.

" No not really…it suuuuucks." Embry laughed.

" Yea I bet." I said reveling in the feeling of sharing a laugh with my former best friend. I felt him wince at that thought. I knew it was unfair, but hey that's how I had been feeling for the past month or so. I mean he could have told me about this, he could have told me he committed murder and I would have taken the secret to my grave.

" So this is why you ditched me and Quil huh Call." I said annoyed. " Couldn't send me a heads up though right?"

" I had no choice Jake. But if I had the chance" He answered mournfully. " I would have prepared you just as I would Quil." He said as he began to think about the fact that Quil also showed signs of the fever setting in. I could see in his mind that he wished to warn our friend of his impending change.

" Geeez get a fucking room will ya?" Paul thought angrily. " I really would rather not watch this weeks episode of " Of Wolves and Gay men." Jared and Sam snickered at that.

Ignoring Paul I concentrated on Embry's last thought. No I thought fiercely. Not Quil. He was such a goof ball; this life of hiding the monster inside you would not suite him. Maybe if we warned him he could leave and avoid this happening, or maybe take up a yoga class to keep his anger in check.

"STOP." Sam said calmly but commanding. " WE WOULD NEVER DENY A BROTHER HIS BIRTHRIGHT." He said coming to a complete stop just before reaching the edge of the woods. I could feel Embry's irritation at Sam's words and couldn't help but feel the same way.

"Sam we aren't exactly talking about the crown jewels here OK." I said shaking my scruff exasperatedly. " This is more of a life sentence than a birthright." At my words I saw agreement and longing run through Paul's mind before he curbed his thoughts. Jared's thoughts were relatively calm, but I saw recognition and pain flash through Sam's mind before his mental shield returned.

" BEFORE YOU START WITH YOU SELF DEPRECATING INNER MONOLOGUES JACOB." He began and I could see he was referring to me thinking of us as monsters. " YOU SHOULD LEARN THE REASON FOR YOUR EXISTENCE."

" This is going to be good." Jared said chuckling anxiously. " I can't wait to see the pups face when he realizes what his pale-face has been up to."

" Shut up Jared." Embry said apprehensively, as he growled and bared his teeth in his direction.

" The best part is he thinks he's fixing her." He said laughing. " But…I'm pretty sure there is no cure for being a leech lovin' pale-face."

"SILENCE!" Sam roared instantly forcing all of us on to our bellies in the dirt. I whimpered along with my brothers under weight of that command. It was infallible and absolute.

" JACOB YOU WILL PAY 100% ATTENTION TO ME. AND YOU ALL WILL BE MENTALLY QUIET UNTILL I SAY OTHERWISE." Sam commanded and once my brother's thoughts were suppressed I was assaulted by a retelling of our legends, each story that would take minutes to tell, passed before my eyes in seconds. I was a spirit warrior of my tribe, a direct descendant of Taha Aki himself! I was charged with the protection of my people against all dangers, of men and of sorcery.

I saw stories of others who possess the powers to turn into beast but used it for ill will. I saw stories of beings that walked between the world of men and the void of spirits. The most important thing I saw were dead men that still walked the earth, with skin cold like ice and hard like marble that shined eerily in the sun, teeth as sharp as the talons of a hawk and a pallet that only salivated for the blood of the living.

I saw that of all dangers, this was the only one known to still exist, as all the rest have faded to legends of old. As Sam got to the subject of the cold ones he began to skip over parts, he stayed away from specifics of a certain story involving my great grandfather and last known true chief Ephraim Black. The point Sam did get across was that there was a treaty brokered between a coven of Cold Ones and our tribe that kept them off our lands, and us from revealing their secret to the pale-faces. This treaty has allowed them to return now and reside in Forks, thus inadvertently causing our change.

How can this be? Cold Ones remain a grave threat to our people, and there they are lurking just beyond our lands! I wanted to question Sam so bad but I was bound by his gag order. I knew in my heart of hearts the coven was the Cullen's. The very last thing Sam showed me brought me to my belly once again, but this time in anguish. I howled a sorrowful howl into the night.

Sam showed me Bella. Bella lying in a muddy puddle in the woods whimpering and cold, and I felt his emotions as a picked the small girl up and cradled her to his chest while he tried to lend her his warmth. He showed me as he carried her back to her father and just before he handed her over to him he deciphered one phrase from her intelligible ramblings. "Why am I never enough?" I felt Sam's emotions crumble on me like a ton of bricks as he felt a tear in his heart at her words. At that point a memory of a heartbroken Leah Clearwater flickered but was soon quelled.

"JACOB YOU MAY SPEAK." Sam ordered without malice I could tell he was subdued by where his thoughts led him, even though he kept them firmly locked behind an iron curtain.

"Sam I…I don't understand…why did you show me Bella?" I asked even though I knew the answer, I just needed to be told I was wrong. Sam saw through me. "BROTHER YOUR SUSPICIONS ARE CORRECT." Sam said apologetically.

"NO!" I roared and noticed my brothers flinch under my ferocity. I searched each of their minds for the truth and then I saw it, Bella on the back of that blood-sucking monster running through the forest smiling a smile that I so rarely saw anymore. I saw how unbeknownst to Bella, Cullen turned toward Sam and bared his teeth before smirking and changing directions. I felt my heart break at the idea that Bella would lie to me to protect a monster like Cullen.

Is that what I was now, a monster like him? Would I hurt the ones I loved? All these questions begin to race through my head until I felt myself on the verge of a full-fledged panic attack. I tried to get my thoughts straight but it was impossible, I had a never-ending stream of thoughts and emotions that weren't even mine clouding my brain. It wasn't enough that I had to surrender my body I also had to surrender my mind?

I decided to get away; I just needed a moment to take it all in. I felt the others apprehension of me leaving, but Sam didn't command me to stay, and for that I was thankful. I ran in the direction I was sure was home and tried to ignore the thoughts of the pack as I ran, I was halfway there when I smelled it, it was bleach rotten candy and decay all broiled and basted in the raunchiest perfume imaginable. I tried to locate the source of the smell and saw a flash of fiery red hair racing through the trees towards Forks. Without a thought I ran after it, as I instinctively knew what it was, a Vampire.

"JACOB STOP HER IF YOU CAN BUT BE CAREFULL WE ARE ON THE WAY!" Sam Commanded. "YOU ALL MAY SPEAK."

"Gee thanks dad." Paul Sneered, but I could see in his mind he was totally focused on the task at hand.

"JARED, EMBRY GO TO LA PUSH IN CASE SHE GETS BEHIND US. I DON'T WANT OUR PEOPLE UNPROTECTED."

"On it." Jared said as he and Embry headed towards La Push. I saw that she had noticed my presence behind her and picked up her speed. I followed suit and also picked my speed up. I tried to run wide to cut off her ground but she just floated back to my immediate path. She would let me get just close enough for her odor to burn my nostrils when she would sprint out of reach. Frustrated I looked for anyway to change my luck, when I noticed just ahead a rather large pine in our path and if I timed my lunge just right, I was sure she would run up the tree and double back in her attempt to humiliate me more.

"Be ready!" I said as I felt my adrenaline ramp up to a high-octane level.

Just before we reached the tree I lunged at her and allowed myself to plow sloppily into the tree. I flailed as I tried to reach my feet and face her and just as I expected she landed and sneered at me. "Stay out of my way dog." She turned on her heal to run in the opposite direction but she was tackled to the ground by Paul. The moment his body collided with hers I rushed her, I reached her as she was getting on her feet and after one bone crushing kick to Paul's rib she attempted to jump over my head, I caught her by her calf muscle with my teeth. Just as my grip began to slip I jerked my head to the side and threw her towards Sam who had just cleared the tree line. Sam bound towards her body when in mid air she gained control of her limbs and tucked herself into a barrel roll over his head. Without missing a beat she latched onto a tree and climbed out up out of our reach.

"I do not wish confrontation with you mutts!" She hissed. "Why do you hound me?" She asked then let out this ear piercing cackling laughter and with that she was gone; we lost her to the treetops.

"What the fuck was that?" I asked once we were sure she was gone.

"THAT is our current vampire nemesis." Embry said matter-of-factly.

"Yea the bitch just keeps coming, and we can never lay a paw on her." Jared said angrily.

"Yea pup; you're the first to ever actually sink some teeth into her. Congrats." Paul said weakly before phasing.

"EMBRY BRING MY TRUCK TO PICK UP PAUL." Sam said before phasing and tending to Paul. Sam checked to see just how many bones were broken.

"It looks like it's just a few ribs, should be healed within the hour." Sam said.

"So soon? Chicks dig war wounds." Paul joked.

"Sorry to disappoint." Sam snorted as helped Paul put on his shorts before helping him stand. "We need to get to the road to meet Embry." I barked and did my best to nod my head. I remained alert as we made our way to the road, having an actual encounter with a vampire had done wonders to rattle my already shattered nerves.

"It takes a while to get used to it dude, but you kicked ass tonight" Jared said appreciatively. The wolf in me glowed with pride while the man struggled with the fear and anxiety. "Thanks...I guess." I said unsure.

Just as we reached the road we reached the road Embry screeched to a stop in front of us, I phased back to help Sam get Paul into the truck comfortably. As I finished helping Paul into the truck I noticed Sam and Embry staring at me.

"What?" I asked.

"You just phased back." Embry said surprised. "That usually takes at least 5 hours to figure out, the current record is Sam, and he couldn't do it for two weeks."

"I didn't actively do anything. I just phased back when you did. It was like walking ya know, like I didn't have to tell my body to do it." I tried to explain to a stunned Embry, as I spoke I could feel Sam staring at me intensely before shaking his head and jumping into the driver's seat.

"You know while we're on the subject your first phase was a lot less painful than the rest of us." Embry said smirking and nodding in my direction. "You're a natural man."

"Awesome I'm the best a not being human." I said sarcastically. "That's just peachy."

"Gotta appreciate the little things Black." Embry said cheerily hoping in the back with Paul.

"Yea the little things." I echoed sarcastically as I jumped in the front seat. "I'm tired, I'm hungry and I am naked. I just want this night to be over already." I said dejectedly.

"I'll drop you off at your house Jacob. It's been a long night for us all. Tomorrow there are still things we have to go over, so I will need to see you, stop by my house around noon. As much as your gonna hate this Jacob, it's for the safety of Bella." Sam said hesitantly as we pulled off. " It's important that you stay away from Bella until you are able to control your phasing better." Sam started before turning to me with glowing yellow eyes and saying in a doubled timbered voice. "YOU WILL NOT GO SEE ISABELLA SWAN UNTIL I LIFT THIS RESTRICTION."

To say that I was enraged would be an understatement. Not only did I have to hand over my life for the sake of my tribe I had to give up my free will as well? I couldn't contain myself; my whole entire body began to shake as I felt a shiver of rage run down my back.

" It isn't enough that I have to give up my life for this shit Sam?" I growled through gritted teeth. " No, YOU have to take away my choices too right?"

" Jacob calm down now" Sam said before ordering me again. " You will not phase in this vehicle." It was too late to stop the change from happening, but because of the order I was forced to throw myself from the open window of the truck landing as a wolf. The moment I caught my footing I released a howl of anger into the night. My wolf railed against the idea of being ordered, and his anger fueled my own.

" I'm sure all of the Rez enjoyed that one." Jared quipped disregarding the angry thoughts running through my head at the moment. I was in no mode for jokes. I was livid. I felt Sam phase in moments later and all it did was fan the fire.

"JACOB I UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU ARE GOING THROUGH." Sam said while running towards me. "IT IS NOT AN EASY THING TO CEASE HAVING CONRTOL OF YOUR LIFE."

"Then give it back to me!" I yelled angrily. "Stop using that Alpha-Wolf bullshit on me."

"Aww deal with it Black we all do." Jared said. "Sure it's annoying but you'll get used to it."

"Stop fucking telling me that!" I shouted. " Stop telling me that I'll get used to having my humanity stripped from me." I said pleadingly as my anger turned to despair. "Cause I won't...I won't ever be ok with losing who I am." I said before phasing and collapsing to my knees on the ground. I felt rather than heard Sam's presence behind me but it mattered not, I couldn't stop the sobs that racked my body as I wept for the sixteen-year-old boy who had died tonight. The Jacob Black that I woke up as today was no longer; he left behind nothing but a hollow carcass. I cried into the earth until I could weep no more. And when I no longer produced tears I dry heaved until I threw up all the contents of my stomach. Through my whole ordeal Sam remained at my side silently lending me his strength to get through and whether I was ready to admit it or not, I was grateful.

Sometime during my meltdown it had begun to rain, though I wanted to be a man and pull myself together I couldn't seem to find the will. I remained despondent for how long, I wasn't sure, but Sam remained vigilant. Embry and Jared ran over to us after a while, and they too just sat with us in the mud in a silent show of support. I don't know if it was the solidarity or comradery that did it, but I was finally able to come out of my reprieve. My wolf, which had been silently allowing the man in me to grieve, let his presence be known again by signaling this was where we belonged and everything would be ok.

"Thank you." I croaked my voice raw and hoarse. Knowing nothing else needed to be said my brothers and I rose to our feet. Embry handed me some shorts and after I put them on he patted me on the back before running in the direction of his home. Jared did the same sending me a head nod before heading deeper into the woods and phasing. Soon it was just Sam and I.

" I know this is hard Jacob, it's hard on us all. The price we pay is much too steep." Sam said putting his hand on my shoulder. " But I won't ever let you lose yourself brother. And I would never do anything I didn't believe was in the best interest of you or the pack."

" Thank you Sam." I said genuinely. " But I can't help but feel like since the first moment I phased, I lost some of who I am. Each moment after just chips away at the remains." I said looking out into the woods. " I've never been so weak in my life."

" What happened tonight doesn't make you weak Jacob. It makes you strong for enduring a warriors pain." Sam said coming to stand in my line of sight. " Pretending we don't feel makes a man weak. We have all been there. We will all be here to catch you Jacob, we are your brothers," he said giving me a reassuring nod. We stood in silence for another moment before Sam spoke again. " OK go home have a shower and get some sleep. I will see you tomorrow afternoon."

" Alright Sam." I said before trotting the rest of the way to my home. When I entered my house the clock read 4:46 am and the house was silent. I could hear dad snoring in his room and I was happy to hear that he was asleep. I headed straight for the shower and the moment I entered the steaming hot water I felt my muscles instantly relax. I washed all of the muck from my hair and knew it would be the last time I would have it this long. My hair that had once been my pride and joy had now become a hindrance. I noticed while running that I was exceptionally shaggier then the others while in wolf form, given their short-cropped haircuts I had deduced that it came from my hair being longer.

After a while I just stood in the shower and allowed the water to cascade over my body hoping it would help clear my mind. Soon the water went cold and I was forced to leave the shower. I was starving so I went searching for food in the kitchen, I saw half of a pizza pie on the counter and grabbed a two-liter coke out of the fridge to wash it down. When I finished I was still hungry but not quite as ravenous, so I made my way to my room and collapsed head first into my bed.