Title: Send Her My Love

Author: Elizabeth

Pairing: Harm and Mac

Disclaimer: I don't own them.

Author's Note: This was inspired by the Journey song. Please feel free to leave your thoughts or concerns.

Enjoy!

Silence.

That is all there seems to be in my life since I left.

One year ago is the last time I saw her beautiful face, looked into her caramel eyes, and kissed her silky lips.

The evening at my apartment in Washington when we decided to spend the rest of our lives together was the best evening of my life. The first time I felt like a whole man.

She accepted the command position in San Diego and I retired to go with her. It went well the first couple of months; we started planning the wedding and talked about when we would tie the knot.

As the day to enter marital bliss continued to get closer I started to have second thoughts. Not about her, never about her. I was afraid I would not make her happy. I was afraid we would get six months into the marriage and she would realize she made a mistake marrying me.

Now when I think about it I didn't have enough faith in her. I never went to her with my fears instead I ran and never looked back. I should have had more faith.

I will never forget the tears in her eyes and the sound of her voice when I left her sitting there at the small café.

Harm, I love you. Please stay.

It broke my heart to see her cry and it hurt even worse to walk away from her.

I have never tried to contact her. I don't want to open up the wounds that I inflicted. I have hurt her enough.

I ask about her when I talk to Bud or Harriet.

She is doing good, considering. She is slowly moving on. She has started dating again; he is a good enough guy. Of course we won't tell her you called.

I still love her, more than ever. I don't know how I walked away from her.

I miss her laugh; it was such a beautiful sound. I miss her smile, the way it could light up any and every room. The one spot that would send shivers throughout her body. The way she said my name we made love.

I wonder what today would have been like if I hadn't walked away. Would we have had our first child? What would it have looked like? Would it have been a boy or girl, my looks and her brains or her looks and my brains? It wouldn't have mattered as long as it was with her.

I see her face in my dreams every night. I wake up in the middle of the night covered in sweat saying her name.

I hear her voice all around me all the time; it will haunt me for the rest of my life.

The sun is hot and shining down on me covering me with its radiance. I hear the distant sound of kids playing and waves rolling in as a sit here at the same café where I left her sitting a year ago.

I don't know why I came back. It would be selfish of me to ask her for another chance. She has moved on and started dating again, how can I ask for her back?

It is time for me to leave again and move on. I take on last look at this sad café and stand to leave. When I turn to walk back to my car I come face to face with the woman that has been haunting my dreams.

Her caramel eyes grow big with shock and anger flashes through them.

"Harm."